Tails From The Job (buh-dum tchh)

[JegoLego]

What are some crazy stories you have from work?  Retail workers, tell us about dealing with crappy customers!  Restaurant employees, tell us how many serious health code violations you've seen!  Artists, tell us about the strangest and/or grossest commission you've been requested to make!  etc etc!

[Charrio]

Someone wanting me to draw bestiality porn.
Oh not just bestiality porn but of his dog, humping his wife and supplied photos for me to use as reference.
I have no idea what happened after when he got the pics but I felt dirty and thankful it was over.
I'll admit I'm a whore for cash, it's not my place to judge, tho I do have limits

[JegoLego]

Someone wanting me to draw bestiality porn.
Oh not just bestiality porn but of his dog, humping his wife and supplied photos for me to use as reference.
I have no idea what happened after when he got the pics but I felt dirty and thankful it was over.
I'll admit I'm a whore for cash, it's not my place to judge, tho I do have limits

lol where do you think you'd draw the line in terms of requests?

[Charrio]

lol where do you think you'd draw the line in terms of requests?

Probably normal adult stuff, Gay or Straight anything more and its a bit more then a request.

Weird fetish stuff is probably not in the Request isle as its not my lane and unless paid it's not very motivating

[Mikazuki Marazhu]

There was this kid who joked about seeing rats in our restaurant. The management made us work overtime exterminating unwanted critters.

[Charrio]

There was this kid who joked about seeing rats in our restaurant. The management made us work overtime exterminating unwanted critters.

Did you find any?

[Mikazuki Marazhu]

Did you find any?

Nope

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

Well I have no tales from work since I don't have a job yet and I haven't done any commission, but I have taken requests.

Back when I used to write on Fanfiction between the ages of 14 and 16, I used to write for Regular Show a lot and then later on, decided to try out The Amazing World of Gumball. I learned very quickly that was a bad thing to do. Certain people in the TAWOG fandom have a very creepy obsession with Nicole and Gumball incest and there'd be several stories written in the mature section about that.

I was naive though. I thought that no one would ever ask me to write such things. Thinking that way, ended up jinxing me. Some girl messages me saying she likes my stories and asked me to write a lemon of an OC and Margaret from Regular show. Now me being the eager young writer, I was up for anything. Besides, I wasn't doing anything else at the moment.a

So I asked her what she wants in the story and she literally goes word by word of everything she'd want to happen (writing like a teenager, even though she was in her twenties) and explaining to me in graphic detail of the sex acts she would want done, describing it like this:

"And then the OC would lick Margaret's pussy until she sprayed him with her juices" Classy, amirite? 

No doubt I was creeped out by this, but I ended up doing it for 2 reasons. One, I figured, "Why the hell not?" and two, she kinda pressured me into doing it. Every time it seemed like it wasn't going her way, she either get really snippy and annoying or talk about how depressed she's getting and how she attempted suicide. I DID NOT want that kinda guilt on my conscience if she ended up doing so. So I write the story (ironically, it gets removed by staff, cause I followed all her request 100 percent, and mind you, that request was graphic as hell) and a few months later, she asks for a Nicole and Gumball incest lemon.

I said nope and just gave her a G rated Richard and Nicole story and then never took another request from her again.

[Vallium]

Plenty! Working in a veterinary clinic is never dull.

 

Like recently...someone brought in a dog, and this dog gets fed only milkbones and hot dogs. That's it. Awful diet, I wonder if the vets recommended against it yet...I still wonder how that dog eats at home. That's like feeding your kids junk food all the time

 

[Charrio]

Plenty! Working in a veterinary clinic is never dull.

 

Like recently...someone brought in a dog, and this dog gets fed only milkbones and hot dogs. That's it. Awful diet, I wonder if the vets recommended against it yet...I still wonder how that dog eats at home. That's like feeding your kids junk food all the time

 

I was expecting something much much more sick and abusive

[JegoLego]

Well this is gonna turn into a rant.

 

I work at a pizza restaurant, here's how it works: people (normally) come in and pay for the buffet then find a table.  Pizza is constantly being made and passed through a window from the kitchen to the main dining area and into the hands of the waiter/waitress.  They would then walk around the restaurant shouting the name of the pizza at the top of their lungs cause this place gets packed with people (my least favorite to shout is beef, you wouldn't understand unless you say it out loud millions of times). When a customer hears the name of the pizza they want, they notify the passing server. At least I wish that was how it happened, what really happens is they stop us then take 5 minutes just to stare at the fucking thing before deciding they don't want it. 

 

Another feature we have in our restaurant is a salad bar, it is the worst fucking part about working at this place, but I won't go into that right now (it's disgusting). I hate hate hate it when customers take a bowl from the salad bar and fill the whole fucking thing with ranch dressing, this is extremely common and it is a nightmare to clean up when bussing tables.

 

Oh and another thing, people think that because it's a buffet they don't have to tip...

Edited October 11, 2015 by JegoLego

[Vallium]

I was expecting something much much more sick and abusive

Havent gotten sick and abusive yet. Mostly irresponsible owners. The kind that drop their dogs off with fleas in boarding and dont tell the staff or forget the proper pickup time and leave staff to believe they abandon their dogs because they don't answer phone calls

Edited October 11, 2015 by WolfNightV4X1

[Mikazuki Marazhu]

I was expecting something much much more sick and abusive

Well its not awful that's one

 

but still improper way of feeding them

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

Well this is gonna turn into a rant.

 

I work at a pizza restaurant, here's how it works: people (normally) come in and pay for the buffet then find a table.  Pizza is constantly being made and passed through a window from the kitchen to the main dining area and into the hands of the waiter/waitress.  They would then walk around the restaurant shouting the name of the pizza at the top of their lungs cause this place gets packed with people (my least favorite to shout is beef, you wouldn't understand unless you say it out loud millions of times). When a customer hears the name of the pizza they want, they notify the passing server. At least I wish that was how it happened, what really happens is they stop us then take 5 minutes just to stare at the fucking thing before deciding they don't want it. 

 

Another feature we have in our restaurant is a salad bar, it is the worst fucking part about working at this place, but I won't go into that right now (it's disgusting). I hate hate hate it when customers take a bowl from the salad bar and fill the whole fucking thing with ranch dressing, this is extremely common and it is a nightmare to clean up when bussing tables.

Ugh, I actually gagged at the whole "ranch dressing in the bowl" part. I'd need to wear gloves the whole shift if I was bussing those tables. Gross...

[JegoLego]

Ugh, I actually gagged at the whole "ranch dressing in the bowl" part. I'd need to wear gloves the whole shift if I was bussing those tables. Gross...

oh trust me, salad bar duty is much worse, we actually wear gloves for that

Imagine going elbows deep in a tub of smelly black olives...

Edited October 11, 2015 by JegoLego

[PastryOfApathy]

I work as a cashier at a nondescript department store and we had a "buy one get another for $1" sale on all shoes. So I was chilling around since the store was dead and I was gonna leave in an hour since the store was gonna close.

Suddenly I look in horror as some Mexican dude comes up to me with literally 2 carts filled to the fucking brim with sandals and I want to die. Long story short motherfucker bought 200 pairs of shoes that cost like $1600 overall, it took over an hour and we had to call the credit card company since his card had to be approved manually.

I hate shoes.

Edited October 11, 2015 by PastryOfApathy

[Vallium]

On a better note, here's a good story.

I don't know the full background. But a client brought in a dog. I thought it was sedated, but this wasn't a healthy dog who just went into surgery and was just waking up from it. No, it was a sick dog, a dog with a brain injury who could barely move. They kept this dog for 2-3 days wrapped up in blankets. They fed it by hand and gave it water through syringe where  she would lick at it. The dog couldnt barely move. I passed her a few times, her eyes were dull, but she had this spirit of excitement that only showed in her tail wag.So I later see the owner, a girl, had come in to see the dog. I catch snippets of conversation...this dog seemed in pretty bad shape and probably near comatose. The vet tech said they'd wait another day to see her condition. The poor woman was sniffling and petting the unmoving dog.

The next day, the vets are feeding her. She seems to be moving more. With the help of a strap that holds her lower body up for her, they help her walk. She does attempt to move her legs a little. The family later comes in to see this dog. Husband, wife, and their little child crawled in the kennel with the dog petting it. They seem to be happier about the dogs condition and the vets are raving about it. Fast forward to a little later. The husband comes to take the dog home. At this point the energy seems back in her, she can see him come in and wags her tail, and when he leaves the door to grab a few things she's wiggling trying to get up to follow him. The vet's say her best therapy is motivation to return home.

And that's a happy story. Didnt end in a black plastic bag this time.

[Wrecker]

i was literally just pulling onto site with the truck when i watched the rest of the crew trying to stand a 2,600lb valve upright so we could fly it into position with a crane. it was hooked up to the crane with rigging setup just to stand it upright, the plan was to re-rig it for after it was vertical so it wouldn't be a pain in the ass to get it installed when it was up in the air.

it came up nice at first, stood up vertical, but then it just kept going and fell over on the other side... when it fell over, it happened to land on a pipe. the opposite end of said pipe shot the fuck up in the air and caught a coworker in the chin, causing him to bite a chunk of his tongue off.

of all things just to pull onto site and see, that was not was i expecting.

other than the tongue, the guy was alright.

Edited October 11, 2015 by Wrecker

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

I work as a cashier at a nondescript department store and we had a "buy one get another for $1" sale on all shoes. So I was chilling around since the store was dead and I was gonna leave in an hour since the store was gonna close.

Suddenly I look in horror as some Mexican dude comes up to me with literally 2 carts filled to the fucking brim with sandals and I want to die. Long story short motherfucker bought 200 pairs of shoes that cost like $1600 worth of shoes, it took over an hour and we had to call the credit card company since his card had to be approved manually.

I hate shoes.

What?.....What?!

What is the fucking point of indulging in a sale, if you're just gonna spend a shitload of money?!  Reminds me of my mom's friend who goes to the dollar tree to buy groceries and ends up spending over a 100 dollars each visit cause there's nothing in bulk. She would have saved so much money just going to a Sam's Club or BJ's with the amount of food she'd get at the dollar tree

Edit: Oh! And its not just herself she's buying for, but 2 kids as well. I think a husband too

Stupid, stupid, stupid!!!

Edited October 11, 2015 by DevilishlyHandsome49

[JegoLego]

I work as a cashier at a nondescript department store and we had a "buy one get another for $1" sale on all shoes. So I was chilling around since the store was dead and I was gonna leave in an hour since the store was gonna close.

Suddenly I look in horror as some Mexican dude comes up to me with literally 2 carts filled to the fucking brim with sandals and I want to die. Long story short motherfucker bought 200 pairs of shoes that cost like $1600 worth of shoes, it took over an hour and we had to call the credit card company since his card had to be approved manually.

I hate shoes.

why would someone need 200 pairs of shoes???

[PastryOfApathy]

What?.....What?!

What is the fucking point of indulging in a sale, if you're just gonna spend a shitload of money?!  Reminds me of my mom's friend who goes to the dollar tree to buy groceries and ends up spending over a 100 dollars each visit cause there's nothing in bulk. She would have saved so much money just going to a Sam's Club or BJ's with the amount of food she'd get a the dollar tree

Stupid, stupid, stupid!!!

It was pretty obvious the dude ran some kind of flea market/shop of some kind. Possibly sell 'em all in bulk to some kind of supplier who knows.

[Mikazuki Marazhu]

 

why would someone need 200 pairs of shoes???

Probably resell it.

[JegoLego]

Although... having $1,600 to spend on shoes would be nice...

[Mikazuki Marazhu]

Although... having $1,600 to spend on shoes would be nice...

I could stock my fridge with yums

[Clove Darkwave]

 

Some of you may recall I work with body piercing jewelry.

I'll start with a recent story. A guy I recognize as a regular comes in, Tough Guy type who over time has obviously made his way in as a prospect for a biker gang. I remember selling him the stuff he used to stretch his septum piercing (That's the one in the middle of your nose) all the way from when he started to where he was when he came in, at 4 Gauge (That's 5mm thick in diameter).

So he buys a new piece for it, mentions thinking about stretching up to a 2 Gauge (6.5mm) but wisely decides against it. I talk him out of buying something made of bone for it, and he admits that a previous piece he used became infected and filled with pus for the reasons I warned him about (too bad he doesn't take the cleanliness warnings we give seriously). So that's what I wanted to hear about.

He comes back later that day and decides he needs to "man up and just do it". So he buys a steel pincher, which I warn him is half a millimeter small for its Gauge, make sure he understands inserting any 2G jewelry will be very difficult and likely very painful. Yeah he says he gets it, buys it, goes around the corner out the store, walks back in snorting like someone punched him in the face with the thing shoved in there. Great. Obviously no precautions, which there are several, taken.

Now he wants a 2G externally threaded horseshoe. At this point I've stopped bothering to warn him and simply watch while he tries to shove this thing in his septum. Except the pincher he used was too small for that, just like I warned him. So I'm treated to watching him try to cram a threaded piece of metal in a hole too small in his nose. Wonderful. "Is it through yet"

...

"Almost. It's...turned a bit sideways."

He's on his knees on the floor, obviously in excruciating pain, doing it anyway. He gets it...eventually.

I hope it was worth it. Probably infected again.

Edited October 11, 2015 by Clove Darkwave

[Skylar Husky]

A chemical company where I worked was trying to be cheap with a specific job they had.

Typically, a chemical company has one individual or a team of individuals whose job it is to collect all the chemical waste, unwanted chemical containers and reaction products, and all expired or past their prime reagents. This is typically a low skilled labor job, one reserved for someone without a college degree who is to be instructed and supervised by someone who is either an environmental chemist or someone who is fully versed in all chemical hygiene, proper PPE (Personal Protective Equipment), TCEQ compliance (Texas Commission of Environmental Quality,) EPA compliance (Environmental Protection Agency,) OSHA complaince (Occupational Safety Hazard Association) and knows any and all SDS's (Safety Data Sheets, long documents which tell you not to put said chemical in your eyes, water or food, but are like 20 sections long.) And this person will document any and all sources of waste for the record-keeping process.

Some wastes, such as materials containing lead, cadmium and the like have to be thoroughly cataloged, the exact mass of material recorded, date discarded, type of reactions undergone, etc. It helps in the end to determine which place this waste will go and it needs to go to a very specific place.

Wastes with products or reactants that may be radioactive have even more protocols and stricter guidelines of course.

this person or team of individuals needs to be the only people who do it because they will do the job with consistency, fairness, safety and they will be the subject matter experts in the field of waste and cleanup protocols.

In the finest traditions of saving money, well being penny-wise and pound-foolish, really if you want to get down to the nitty-gritty of it, They would not hire this team of individuals to dispose of waste. Instead what happened, Each of the groups in the company took their waste to the room where it was to be done and each group had to take round robins turns disposing of waste. This lead to people being sloppy with their empty containers, acting dangerously with some of the equipment,

One of particular note was a bottle crushing machine. We had all of our chemical bottles into which we made mixtures supplied by the same company. They made glass French square bottles. This machine pulverized the glass and it was supposed to fall down into a barrel. I say "suppose to" if groups were clumsy with pouring their crap out of the bottles, There would be chemical buildup on the chute leading to the glass crusher so not only was there a risk of getting chemicals splashed on you, chunks of glass could sometimes be kicked back out of the chute, now there was a risk of cutting through your gloves and slicing your skin to ribbons to dislodge chunks of glass which became glued in place in the chute. They got a stick made of wood whose function was to scrape the chute, but sometimes it just did not do it. More than once there were issues with the residues reacting and smoking, bubbling and sizzling in the barrel as well. It was done so poorly.

The worst part of it was that it could sometimes take 2 or 3 hours, in the heat outside, sweating and getting heat exhaustion on top of everything else. And if you weren't careful, solvent would splash onto the aprons, face-shields and crap and get onto your labcoat and you would not notice because you were already drenched with perspiration. You could have chemical on you and not know it until after the job was done and you had cooled down, or had started to feel it burning on your skin. I once had to see a doctor for dermatitis from a chemical burn to my chest and stomach after just such a stint in the waste room. Luckily over the counter remedies solved the problem. But I did fill out a recordable incident report, which looks very bad on the company's safety records. 

The STUPIDEST part about it was that they would rather pay chemists who were making $45,000 to $85,000 / per year to stand outside and crush glass bottles and dump chemical waste than pay a couple of lackeys minimum wage to do the job with a chemist supervisor looking out for them.

[FlynnCoyote]

Using the panel saw at work one day, someone had used it before me and not re-adjusted one of the fences. So in a hurry and after a quick glance assuming everything was in order, I started cutting what I needed to. The piece I was cutting jammed halfway through against the blade and the loose fence.

Panels saw blades are powerful. They do not just stop spinning. The piece of board I was cutting was jammed on a slight angle, ripped into by the blade and flung backwards faster than I could see. It hit the back wall of the factory and shattered. If I or anyone had been directly behind that, the chipboard would have embedded into us or else just gone straight through.

Admittedly, I should have checked. However one of the first things we are taught when using this machine is that if you have to loosen a fence or guard for any reason, re-secure the fucking thing when you are done.

[Gator]

This

that thing ran through my department a few times and got trapped in the outside garden center, then chased back inside before they caught it on the other side of the store.

[Ayattar]

30 half-naked women standing in the queue after they heard that we give away extra caps in case they show us tits.

We ran out of caps in half an hour. And it was supposed to be an easter-egg, kind of.

[Vallium]

I already told the story of where I was bathing this chihuahua that was in for treatment...and as I was bathing this thing has BLOOD STREAMING OUT OF ITS MOUTH AND NOSE AND RUNNING IN THE BATHTUB, and I'm just surprised at this, I thought we were going to have to call in a dog exorcist.

We once had a dog owner bring in SEVEN dogs for a week of boarding. All large dogs. One was the largest dog I've ever seen, a Saint Bernard with huge paws, flop ears the size of my hand, and so tall my fingertips touched his back. Among the family there were also Two rottweilers, a german shepherd, and three huskies. I cant imagine how much money this person spends on dog food and boarding fees.

Another time a friend of mine came in to have her dog put down. Old friend actually, as we havent been friends since middle school. I used to go to her house and knew her dog Sabrina. So my coworker told me a friend of mine came in, and when she said the name I immediately knew who it was. I didnt know my friend knew I worked there, I mustve been to busy to notice her but she mightve saw me running around doing work. In any case, the dog lived to 16 years. The last I saw of it was a black plastic bag being hauled to the back kennel to the freezer (where they are kept until the cremation guy picks them up). I checked the black bag and sure enough the label had said Sabrina [last name]. It was an odd crossroads.

I could go on and on...but I'll let new memories come to me and share them as long as this threadis active.

Edited October 11, 2015 by WolfNightV4X1

[Lisek]

I don't have a specific story, but there is the worst place I ever worked at. It was a warehouse in a somewhat affluent suburb, while the buildings around it were nice, this dump was an eyesore. My first warning should have been a bulletin about how a week before I got hired a forklift propane tank exploded. The rest of the place should have been the rest of the warning. I'd safely say 50% of the lights did not work, making the place a creepy dark cave. When it rained the roof leaked sending water everywhere, including near electrical junction boxes and other dangerous areas; and the the sump under the building backed up through the drains in the floor with horrible brown, rusty water, and sewage also came up through the bathroom in the back (which no one used for just this reason). 

OSHA would have had a field day with this place. Pallets were stacked up to the (20 foot high) ceiling, causing them to sometimes fall with incredible force to the floor because no one bothered to stack them correctly. The main stock area consisted of three floors of just metal grating, rusting from rain water, with quasi-functional roller belts lacking adequate guards on the side being the way we sent stuff to the bottom (and sometimes on people's heads). Our vehicles routinely broke down, and one decided to burst into flames at random, luckily while the place was open so it could be put out (the fire department was never notified). Water on the floor was a disaster waiting to happen because all our vehicles had smooth tires, but no one bothered to ever mop it because it kept coming anyway.

The staff was awful, pushing us to work faster and faster to meet the quotas set for the company's other warehouses - warehouses that had portable scanners and bar code systems like any real place would, while we used paper for everything, including keeping track of inventory. If you were the least bit slow they were complete assholes about it instead of talking to you like a human being. I've never been yelled at so much in my life.

They finally started fixing all these problems - right before they let everyone go. Then they sold the place. What a load of shit.