Terminal7 Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 You know when you're flicking from emotions hour by hour and can't stay the same? Sometimes it really sucks, but then you know that within 5 minutes you're going to be like you're high on life and just had sex that you'd only see in pornos. I don't really know if this is a rant or a rave- because I definitely want to get that check out but at least those points of joy are lot stronger than what they used to be. Then it's like you got fucked in the ass by satan himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Doggo Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 3 minutes ago, Terminal7 said: you're going to be like you're high on life and just had sex that you'd only see in pornos. [...] Then it's like you got fucked in the ass by satan himself. so basically the same? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grassfed Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 Sounds a bit like Borderline Personality Disorder? idk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vae Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 (edited) I have bipolar, and that doesn't sound like bipolar. Like grassfed said, that actually sounds a lot more like borderline. Granted, there are rapid cycles that can occur with the disease, but there's also a lot of shit that causes that kind of thing that isn't related to it. The highs are extreme, and the lows are extreme. A lot of times, at least when I have rapid cycles, all the feelings exist at the same time. It's not "Oh I feel like this. Op, well, now I feel like this." Like menstrual hormones or something. It's a total and complete overload. It's like mashing a keyboard in your brain. And mania isn't just a good feeling. My mania spells are often worse than depression. You get anxious. You get angry. You get reckless. Oftentimes, I hallucinate. The depressive cycles last for weeks, if not months. You literally shut down, regardless of what you do. You can't clean. You can't enjoy the things you like. You just perpetually feel like you're ceasing to exist. It's a feeling of performing motions, even though you're completely dead and depleted. Entire segments of my life feel blacked out during these spells, as if I were drunk, because I just don't register anything. Both cycles are physical and tangible, as well as emotional. Things taste different, depending on which cycle I'm on. Things smell different. Things feel different. Colors look different. Things sound different. Granted, you should get yourself checked out if you feel like something's wrong. But don't just jump to conclusions. Believe me, you don't want this. Edited December 10, 2015 by Vae 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Attallios Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 (edited) HUMBLE IMPERIAL CITIZEN, WHAT YOU ARE EXPERIENCING COULD VERY WELL BE THE INFLUENCE OF TZEENTCH. I IMPLORE YOU TO CONSULT THE APOTHECARY IMMEDIATELY TO BE HEALED. FAILURE TO COMPLY WILL BE TREATED AS HERESY, AND JUSTICE SHALL BE SWIFTLY DEALT UPON THY BRITTLE SPINE. Edited December 10, 2015 by Brother Attallios 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terminal7 Posted December 10, 2015 Author Share Posted December 10, 2015 1 hour ago, Vae said: Granted, you should get yourself checked out if you feel like something's wrong. But don't just jump to conclusions. Believe me, you don't want this. I would not have put self-diagnosed if I knew for-sure what I had or didn't have. I looked into BPD and I felt that was pretty close. Its just that there were recurring symptoms of depression alongside very few high points, and as you said : extreme high points. I'm going to try to get to a psychologist or seek professional help. Sorry if I said anything out of place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidewalk Surfboard Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 I think I may have BPD, but my mom is too fucking stubborn to let me get checked, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terminal7 Posted December 10, 2015 Author Share Posted December 10, 2015 4 minutes ago, Sidewalk Surfboard said: I think I may have BPD, but my mom is too fucking stubborn to let me get checked, That's really odd -- Unless it's disbelief. I really suspect it's disbelief. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidewalk Surfboard Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 Just now, Terminal7 said: That's really odd -- Unless it's disbelief. I really suspect it's disbelief. It is disbelief. She thinks nothing is wrong with me, but I know that something is. If something WASN'T wrong, I wouldn't want to get checked Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucyfish Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 Everybody's their own best doctor, eh? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terminal7 Posted December 10, 2015 Author Share Posted December 10, 2015 24 minutes ago, Sidewalk Surfboard said: It is disbelief. She thinks nothing is wrong with me, but I know that something is. If something WASN'T wrong, I wouldn't want to get checked Have you tried going to a school counselor? I did it for a few months and it worked out (at that time) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vae Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 11 hours ago, Terminal7 said: I would not have put self-diagnosed if I knew for-sure what I had or didn't have. I looked into BPD and I felt that was pretty close. Its just that there were recurring symptoms of depression alongside very few high points, and as you said : extreme high points. I'm going to try to get to a psychologist or seek professional help. Sorry if I said anything out of place. Yeah, I'm not accusing you of anything. It's just that a lot of people seem to have this idea about bipolar in that it's just hormone-level mood swings, and it's really not. You effectively become a different person. The extremes affect you in such a way that you have physical associations with it. But yeah, definitely see a psych about it. That'll give you a better answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarthTheWereWolf Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 Well OP. According to WebMD~ what you actually have based on your symptoms.... is cancer. I'm sorry. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGreatFanatic Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 On December 10, 2015 at 1:51 PM, Brother Attallios said: HUMBLE IMPERIAL CITIZEN, WHAT YOU ARE EXPERIENCING COULD VERY WELL BE THE INFLUENCE OF TZEENTCH. I IMPLORE YOU TO CONSULT THE APOTHECARY IMMEDIATELY TO BE HEALED. FAILURE TO COMPLY WILL BE TREATED AS HERESY, AND JUSTICE SHALL BE SWIFTLY DEALT UPON THY BRITTLE SPINE. I'm not trying to be rude or anything, dude, but I really expect this to become severely annoying at some point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Doggo Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 5 minutes ago, TheGreatFanatic said: I'm not trying to be rude or anything, dude, but I really expect this to become severely annoying at some point. He has a point though, OP really should see a doctor, there may be big problems down the line if he doesn't. Anyway topkek gimmick posters are great when they pop in every now and then. Like Doctor Mengele before he got banned. Ooh, remember that Star Trek guy? I miss him. I wish he found this place, he could reply to any topic and relate it somehow to an episode of Star Trek. I really need to watch the old cheesy episodes of that show. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ratmomma Posted December 12, 2015 Share Posted December 12, 2015 As someone that has Bipolar II, what you describe doesn't sound like any form of the disorder. On 12/10/2015 at 3:18 PM, Sidewalk Surfboard said: I think I may have BPD, but my mom is too fucking stubborn to let me get checked, When I still lived in MI, I literally had to fight the fucking state to see a psychiatrist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vyahdis Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Sorry for casting re-raise on an old topic but I wanted to add a few things: Bipolar, like a lot of mental illnesses, can have a broad spectrum of symptoms. I'm diagnosed BP type 2 though to be honest I have a lot of the traits of borderline (but not all). It sucks a lot, OP, and for your sake I really hope you don't have it. For a long time it was very hard even talking to a doctor or therapist about my symptoms because I felt so ashamed of them, like I was a bad person. Maybe I am, I've said and done many bad things on what I call the "downswing" of the pendulum. I had to spend Christmas in the ER, sucked. I've not had luck with many medications, though latuda has helped with manic outbursts and made it a bit easier to control my emotions when dealing with my family, though this in itself isn't necessarily caused by BP. I know people in general are very hard on and look down on those who depend on medications to maintain a balance but for about half a year I tried "bootstrapping" myself out of taking my medication because of things people told me and it was a very miserable time. To be honest, I'm still pretty miserable but at least I have more control and I do less self-destructive things. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khaki Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 On 12/10/2015 at 1:00 AM, Terminal7 said: You know when you're flicking from emotions hour by hour and can't stay the same? Sometimes it really sucks, but then you know that within 5 minutes you're going to be like you're high on life and just had sex that you'd only see in pornos. I don't really know if this is a rant or a rave- because I definitely want to get that check out but at least those points of joy are lot stronger than what they used to be. Then it's like you got fucked in the ass by satan himself. Yes, not as rapidly as you have described it however, more as a daily thing at most, not as happy on the high moments, more just energetic and overly enthusiastic/confident. Been experiencing these fluctuations for half a year now to the point that they were getting scary to deal with alone, finally checked it up with the quack and the past two weeks have been pretty stable so far though, it could just have been a chemical inbalance or something, so yay for me. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AshleyAshes Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 ITT: Don't self diagnose, consult a professional. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willow Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 it could be any number of things, or even nothing. imo self diagnosis is really only useful for one thing and that's to get an idea of what may be wrong with you because yeah, sometimes doctors are wrong and seeing a professional is sometimes expensive or they're really shitty, but I don't believe self-diagnosis should be the ultimate alternative to seeing someone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexInsane Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 The good news is, there's an answer. The bad news is, you're crazy. The good news is, so is everyone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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