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Hasty marriage


FlynnCoyote
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Not me. A friend I've known through FA for years left her country on the 10th to fly to another country, there to meet someone she'd formed an online romance with less than a year ago. It is now not even three full days later, and they're married.

I mean... This is gonna sound biased because I was crushing on her for so long, but what the actual brain numbing fuck could have been going through their heads? They've met in person once. They haven't lived together. This was supposed to be a one week visit for them to get to know each other in person. It hasn't even been half that.

If this was anyone else I wouldn't care. But she's not at all great about her own self confidence, and if this move fails she's going to be in pieces on the other side of an ocean from her home and from me, so I'll be powerless to help. This news was just... really distressing.

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3 days? Yikes. I had an ex girlfriend who married the next guy she dated after only a month or two, and I thought it was crazy. If I hadn't broken up with her, that might have been me.

Then again, who's to say what will happen with the right person? Some people know early on, and it works for them. Unfortunately, however, rushing into marriage is rarely a good idea.

Sorry to hear that you were crushing on the girl.

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Marriage doesn't have quite the set-in-stone finality it used to. I agree that this is s terrible idea, but perhaps falling out of love would be just as quick. Divorces aren't too uncommon these days either, though being in a whole other country is certainly a complication. Now a kid, that would be a whole other story!

Still, all the best to you and your friend. Keep in touch with her, if things DO go south, she'll need any support (even just emotional support or advice) she can get.

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I agree that it wont be awful, per se? You said less than a year, but almost a year? I dunno, maybe they hit it off quite well and the stretch of long distance puts things into perspective. I dont agree that marrying right away was a good idea, but its not my place to say it cant work.

Assuming they're adults and they spent at least a little time together, clearly they know how adult life works, especially if she had the ability to cross country to begin with.

 

But damn...moving an entire country away for one person is a risk move. I dont know what kind of education/employment she has under her belt and friendships, but it is what it is.

I personally wouldnt be so hasty in an LDR or relationship myself, but I tend to be a very logical person. I much prefer several visits and an ample amount of time before moving on to a new step.

Of course...tying in emotions they dont often coexist with logic, it brings you past reservations you might have because "Fuck it, this feels right"

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Well she was understandably very hard to get in contact with for a few days there but I managed to get in touch with her last night a few hours after this post. Apparently it was his idea and she agreed but for the most part it was to facilitate easier travel between their two countries.

I still think it's a bit rash to enter into a legal contract like this, especially given that it doesn't exactly guarantee anything. But I do feel slightly better knowing that it wasn't just some impulsive emotional decision.

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