Empty

[Enigma]

Is it wrong to feel nothing? To be an empty shell of indifference. When you see so much, experience so much that it leaves you jaded. 

 

I want to be better, to help others. To be there for people, but I feel as though I struggle in vain. All the resources, time and energy spent isn't enough. 

 

You lose those you love and care about. Trying to hold those you still have even closer, only to have then slip through your fingers like sand.

I'm sorry. My mind is a mess right now.

[Saxon]

Many people feel desensitised when they are exposed to a great number of similar experiences; much as one begins to stop noticing the smell of vanilla, if the air is always perfumed with it, so I don't think you need to feel guilty about that. Everybody experiences that fatigue to some degree. 

 

Maybe you should expound about your concern in more detail, so that anybody who resolved a similar experience can offer help.

[#00Buck]

41 minutes ago, Enigma said:

Is it wrong to feel nothing? To be an empty shell of indifference. When you see so much, experience so much that it leaves you jaded. 

 

I want to be better, to help others. To be there for people, but I feel as though I struggle in vain. All the resources, time and energy spent isn't enough. 

 

You lose those you love and care about. Trying to hold those you still have even closer, only to have then slip through your fingers like sand.

I'm sorry. My mind is a mess right now.

+1 for honesty. 

It is certainly abnormal to feel nothing. 

I love feeling. I have feelings all the time. I chase after feelings constantly well the good ones at least which often leads to having bad feelings but yeah I'm almost always feeling something. 

Who the fuck want to ride on a flat rollercoaster? 

The fact that the rollercoaster goes up and down is what makes it exciting. If it just went flat, up, or down only it would be boring as fuck. 

Make your rollercoaster move up and down. 

Your brain is just a mush of chemicals and spaghetti and when you make it ooze serotonin, adrenaline, testosterone (or estrogen), and dopamine you feel really good. Then when your body makes the chemicals that counter those things you crash and feel awful. Then you go out and have more fun. You get the idea. 

Well that's how I do it which also isn't normal but whatever. I think you need some up and down motion in you life. Or not. It's your life. So whatever. 

[Enigma]

57 minutes ago, Saxon said:

Maybe you should expound about your concern in more detail, so that anybody who resolved a similar experience can offer help.

I'll have to try some other time. 

19 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

It is certainly abnormal to feel nothing. 

I get into this mindset on and off. Emotions get me into trouble, I would rather be cold and calculated.

19 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

Who the fuck want to ride on a flat rollercoaster? 

A crash test dummy, into a brick wall.

19 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

Your brain is just a mush of chemicals and spaghetti and when you make it ooze serotonin, adrenaline, testosterone (or estrogen), and dopamine you feel really good. Then when your body makes the chemicals that counter those things you crash and feel awful. Then you go out and have more fun. You get the idea. 

Well that's how I do it which also isn't normal but whatever. I think you need some up and down motion in you life. Or not. It's your life. So whatever. 

[#00Buck]

Just now, Enigma said:

I get into this mindset on and off. Emotions get me into trouble, I would rather be cold and calculated.

A crash test dummy, into a brick wall.

 

You're totally fucking boring. 

If you're okay with that then you're all set. 

[Enigma]

2 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

You're totally fucking boring. 

If you're okay with that then you're all set. 

I accept that. Thank you for your time, Buck.

[#00Buck]

Just now, Enigma said:

I accept that. Thank you for your time, Buck.

Your boring ass answer validates my observation. 

I want you to get angry or upset. 

Stop self-cuking! 

You should join our movement and put PJ's on your face and pledge allegiance to the Pastry-Archy. 

[Enigma]

1 minute ago, #00Buck said:

Your boring ass answer validates my observation. 

I want you to get angry or upset. 

Stop self-cuking! 

You should join our movement and put PJ's on your face and pledge allegiance to the Pastry-Archy. 

Why would I get angry? You are trying to cheer me up with shenanigans. I appreciate it, you're a good person. *Hug*

[Saxon]

15 minutes ago, Enigma said:

I'll have to try some other time. 

 

Well, when you're ready.

You may find that whatever you're troubled about seems less significant by the time you would consider talking about it anyway.

[#00Buck]

4 minutes ago, Enigma said:

Why would I get angry? You are trying to cheer me up with shenanigans. I appreciate it, you're a good person. *Hug*

No!

I'm serious!

Join our movement! 

Put some PJ's or other clothes on your face and post up in our thread:

 

[Enigma]

7 minutes ago, Saxon said:

Well, when you're ready.

You may find that whatever you're troubled about seems less significant by the time you would consider talking about it anyway.

That's the issue. I know my troubles are insignificant.

I'm just a cat meowing in an empty alley.

7 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

No!

I'm serious!

Join our movement! 

Put some PJ's or other clothes on your face and post up in our thread:

 

No thanks. Pastry is awesome, but I'm tired of hear anything about Trump.

[Saxon]

Just now, Enigma said:

That's the issue. I know my troubles are insignificant.

I'm just a cat meowing in an empty alley.

No thanks. Pastry is awesome, but I'm tired of hear anything about Trump.

Ha; you and me both, Enigma.

Whats more, the issues which should terrify me, such as how I'm going to afford a place to live and find a job that is both satisfying and pays the bills, are often not so heavy on my mind.

Although, more recently, that last concern has been eating me up pretty much all the time.

[Vallium]

I refuse to ever become a jaded person...that just...sounds awful. So many tired, worn out people in life. That wont be me,

 

I mean, it helps to take pleasure in small, dumb things that people often overlook, when you can get energy from something where others would be graying zombies.

But thats just me, sorry you feel that way. Sounds awful.

[Enigma]

3 minutes ago, Saxon said:

Ha; you and me both, Enigma.

Whats more, the issues which should terrify me, such as how I'm going to afford a place to live and find a job that is both satisfying and pays the bills, are often not so heavy on my mind.

Although, more recently, that last concern has been eating me up pretty much all the time.

If there is anything that I can do to help, please do not hesitate to ask.

2 minutes ago, WolfNightV4X1 said:

I refuse to ever become a jaded person...that just...sounds awful. So many tired, worn out people in life. That wont be me,

 

I mean, it helps to take pleasure in small, dumb things that people often overlook, when you can get energy from something where others would be graying zombies.

But thats just me, sorry you feel that way. Sounds awful.

I have passion, there are things I want to do in life. It's just good to take an unbiased and logical view on life. It especially helps during times of great stress. 

Plus I've gotten pretty good at acting. ;D

[Vallium]

Oh hey, I get that, I can be coldly logical at times too, which is why Im often worried about letting go and letting emotions take over if there's chance of failure

As long as things in life are going well, then good. Youre free pine over your emptiness, though, of course.

[Saxon]

7 minutes ago, Enigma said:

If there is anything that I can do to help, please do not hesitate to ask.

I have passion, there are things I want to do in life. It's just good to take an unbiased and logical view on life. It especially helps during times of great stress. 

Plus I've gotten pretty good at acting. ;D

Thanks for the advice. I think what I need to do is discuss my options with a careers' advisor. x3

 

 

[PastryOfApathy]

I'll be honest, I'm not much better in terms of mental health. But if you need someone to talk to I'm more than willing to lend an ear.

[Socketosis]

I know how you feel. I've found that certain medications can make you feel this way, but I wouldn't be surprised if it were also one of the symptoms of depression.

[Vae]

I've been jaded for like 17 years.

Feeling strong emotions is more trouble than it's worth, in my experience.

[Saxon]

Would other users agree that muting emotional response is a coping strategy and that people withdraw emotional investment because they think it will prevent them getting hurt?

Maybe people who've experienced that can confirm or dispute this suggestion?

 

[Enigma]

1 hour ago, Saxon said:

Would other users agree that muting emotional response is a coping strategy and that people withdraw emotional investment because they think it will prevent them getting hurt?

Maybe people who've experienced that can confirm or dispute this suggestion?

 

I can be a coping mechanism for emotional distress, but it can also be used to keep an unbiased opinion in decision making. 

I know my emotional decisions usually end up with bad outcomes.

[LazerMaster5]

Try listening to heavy music. You might just feel something in your cold heart.

[Feelwell]

4 hours ago, Enigma said:

You lose those you love and care about. Trying to hold those you still have even closer, only to have then slip through your fingers like sand.

This is a nice song...

I know the feeling.

Good to keep yourself busy. It can help to get lost in something like a book, or a video. A Let's Play maybe. Get lost in the conversation, maybe play a game while doing it.

Its uh, not a permanent fix though. The emotional/mental equivalent of duct tape.

Find the reason. Fix it. Think about it.

[#00Buck]

7 minutes ago, Feelwell the Rabbit said:

This is a nice song...

I know the feeling.

Good to keep yourself busy. It can help to get lost in something like a book, or a video. A Let's Play maybe. Get lost in the conversation, maybe play a game while doing it.

Its uh, not a permanent fix though. The emotional/mental equivalent of duct tape.

Find the reason. Fix it. Think about it.

No!

This is a nice song and it's about how everyone should face life. 

 

[Feelwell]

3 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

No!

This is a nice song and it's about how everyone should face life. 

(COCAINE!)

 

That's only applicable if you crash or suffer a dangerous overdose later on in the day. 

Then get thrown in jail, deal with withdrawal, get pulled into some bad business, sink deeper and deeper, watching everything you-

You know what? I think that guys doing it right.

[Recel]

4 hours ago, Enigma said:

I'm sorry. My mind is a mess right now.

You know. Out of all that, this is the most interesting part to me.

You say you feel nothing, but you want to become better, you want to be helpful to others, be there when they are in need. This is a kind of emotion in itself, no?
You feel you are struggling in vain to achieve that goal. Another feeling.

Then... you say "my mind is a mess". So having such feelings is a bad thing? Than is feeling nothing the good way of thinking?

[#00Buck]

Just now, Recel said:

You know. Out of all that, this is the most interesting part to me.

You say you feel nothing, but you want to become better, you want to be helpful to others, be there when they are in need. This is a kind of emotion in itself, no?
You feel you are struggling in vain to achieve that goal. Another feeling.

Then... you say "my mind is a mess". So having such feelings is a bad thing? Than is feeling nothing the good way of thinking?

Owned!

 

 

[Enigma]

3 minutes ago, Recel said:

You know. Out of all that, this is the most interesting part to me.

You say you feel nothing, but you want to become better, you want to be helpful to others, be there when they are in need. This is a kind of emotion in itself, no?

I suppose it is a feeling. 

4 minutes ago, Recel said:

Then... you say "my mind is a mess". So having such feelings is a bad thing? Than is feeling nothing the good way of thinking?

4 hours ago, Enigma said:

Is it wrong to feel nothing? 

I never said feeling is bad or good.

3 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

Owned!

 

 

[#00Buck]

15 minutes ago, Recel said:

You know. Out of all that, this is the most interesting part to me.

You say you feel nothing, but you want to become better, you want to be helpful to others, be there when they are in need. This is a kind of emotion in itself, no?
You feel you are struggling in vain to achieve that goal. Another feeling.

Then... you say "my mind is a mess". So having such feelings is a bad thing? Than is feeling nothing the good way of thinking?

You know it's always funny when a person says something that's deeply insightful and just nails the problem with the situation so perfectly. 

Then after giving the amazing insight the person who needs to hear it and apply it just goes on to not bother changing anything even though everyone knows it is the right thing to do because it's so obvious. 

Then again some people must like their problems because it gives them a way to look for attention and sympathy so they never bother to fix them...

 

[Strongbob]

First you have to ask yourself, do you truly feel nothing or are you simply repressing your real feelings?  These are two very different things.  If you are repressing your feelings for fear of feeling pain you are just lying to yourself and you need to face your problems.  If you truly feel nothing then you need to find a reason to live.   Otherwise just STOP IT!

 

[PastryOfApathy]

Yo Buck, you're not really helping.

[Vallium]

15 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

You know it's always funny when a person says something that's deeply insightful and just nails the problem with the situation so perfectly. 

Then after giving the amazing insight the person who needs to hear it and apply it just goes on to not bother changing anything even though everyone knows it is the right thing to do because it's so obvious. 

Then again some people must like their problems because it gives them a way to look for attention and sympathy so they never bother to fix them...

 

Hey man, I agree people need to be introspetive, listen to advice, see whats wrong and turn theirperspective, but that by no means doesnt mean Enigma isnt wrong in his feeling and/or lack of feeling.

 

People are allowed to feel hurt, empty, lost, empty. In fact, did you not make a thread too long ago that happy isnt always a feeling someone needs? Im sure I could pull it up.

 

Enigma is just telling of whats in his head (or not) verbally, is all. There are hopeless people that shrug off advice and whatnot and mope and pity but he's not one of them

[Enigma]

11 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

You know it's always funny when a person says something that's deeply insightful and just nails the problem with the situation so perfectly. 

Then after giving the amazing insight the person who needs to hear it and apply it just goes on to not bother changing anything even though everyone knows it is the right thing to do because it's so obvious. 

Then again some people must like their problems because it gives them a way to look for attention and sympathy so they never bother to fix them...

 

I dont find my situation a problem. I was merely asking a question and giving my situation as an example. 

I enjoy people who don't like to give any constructive criticism or advice. trolls.

Never change Buck.

[#00Buck]

11 minutes ago, PastryOfApathy said:

Yo Buck, you're not really helping.

So you're saying I'm not showing any signs of change either? 

1 minute ago, Enigma said:

I dont find my situation a problem. I was merely asking a question and giving my situation as an example. 

I enjoy people who don't like to give any constructive criticism or advice. trolls.

Never change Buck.

Clearly I'm not changing at all. 

5 minutes ago, WolfNightV4X1 said:

Hey man, I agree people need to be introspetive, listen to advice, see whats wrong and turn theirperspective, but that by no means doesnt mean Enigma isnt wrong in his feeling and/or lack of feeling.

 

People are allowed to feel hurt, empty, lost, empty. In fact, did you not make a thread too long ago that happy isnt always a feeling someone needs? Im sure I could pull it up.

 

Enigma is just telling of whats in his head (or not) verbally, is all. There are hopeless people that shrug off advice and whatnot and mope and pity but he's not one of them

Yes I had a theory about that but it was just a theory. 

As far as being wrong I think I only accused them of being boring and dodging insight when it is presented in a blatantly obvious manner.

[Jtrekkie]

6 hours ago, Enigma said:

Is it wrong to feel nothing? To be an empty shell of indifference. When you see so much, experience so much that it leaves you jaded. 

 

I want to be better, to help others. To be there for people, but I feel as though I struggle in vain. All the resources, time and energy spent isn't enough. 

 

You lose those you love and care about. Trying to hold those you still have even closer, only to have then slip through your fingers like sand.

I'm sorry. My mind is a mess right now.

 

It's not wrong, no, yet I wouldn't call it a normal state, though it's something most experience from time to time. 

 

You feel that you struggle in vain, is that why you are fatigued?

 

You don't always get to see the fruits of your labor. Either they are hidden from you, or they take form too slowly for you to notice. So you work anyway. 

 

To become tired is not something you can control, but to become resigned is. As difficult as it sounds, to care requires only a force of will.

[Enigma]

5 minutes ago, Jtrekkie said:

You feel that you struggle in vain, is that why you are fatigued?

I'm not fatigued yet. Once I give up on people, then you'll know.

[Fantasma]

@Enigma

To be honest, I just found the end to that stage of my journey - from doubting myself and others so much and letting my heart and body turn to stone. I believe a friend of mine was correct in saying my symptoms matched ptsd, because I did something a couple years ago that really really fucked me up.

Lately though, while blowing my mind apart with lsd (which I say not to brag and I know admitting is against the rules) because I was so desperate and if I didn't do sonething like that I would have probably killed myself by now.

Whay I found is to trust, love, and feel again. It's not easy, I'm super sensitive and fragile but Enigma..... it's worth it. It's like living after being dead for so long.

[Enigma]

@Johanna Waya 

Thank you for your concern. I'm not depressed or anything. I'm just trying to stay level headed right now. 

Please be careful with those substances. I can't stop you from doing them, but you're always welcome to talk to me. I can't turn my back to someone in need or in pain.

[Fantasma]

5 minutes ago, Enigma said:

@Johanna Waya 

Thank you for your concern. I'm not depressed or anything. I'm just trying to stay level headed right now. 

Please be careful with those substances. I can't stop you from doing them, but you're always welcome to talk to me. I can't turn my back to someone in need or in pain.

I'm doing fine for once in my life, so don't worry about me.

......although it is akward the neighbours still talk about seeing me naked. God that was a bad day.

 

 

Just the emptiness will pass, and the sooner the better.

 

[Enigma]

 

6 minutes ago, Johanna Waya said:

......although it is akward the neighbours still talk about seeing me naked. 

Maybe they were impressed?

[Fantasma]

2 minutes ago, Enigma said:

 

Maybe they were impressed?

No, and sadly I think I am just some shunned freak, I heard them talking from their porch and just felt..... awful.

Long story short  I was impaired and thought val was having some kind of heart attack, so I called an ambulance and the police also came and they just kind of laughed at us and called our apartment a mess........ then spent the night in the hospital and walked home in some old torn up pants and my work uniform shirt while hearing voices.

Yeah that day sucked and I don't think they will ever forget.

[Enigma]

1 minute ago, Johanna Waya said:

No, and sadly I think I am just some shunned freak, I heard them talking from their porch and just felt..... awful.

Long story short  I was impaired and thought val was having some kind of heart attack, so I called an ambulance and the police also came and they just kind of laughed at us and called our apartment a mess........ then spent the night in the hospital and walked home in some old torn up pants and my work uniform shirt while hearing voices.

Yeah that day sucked and I don't think they will ever forget.

You grew from the experience and I doubt you'll do it again. 

And FYI we are all freaks to 'normal' society. Furries remember? 

I'm sure if you walked out of your home in a fursuit they'd be talking about you just as much.

[Feelwell]

9 minutes ago, Enigma said:

I'm sure if you walked out of your home in a fursuit they'd be talking about you just as much.

Though they'd be less impressed?

[Enigma]

Just now, Feelwell the Rabbit said:

Though they'd be less impressed?

Depends on how well the fursuit is made.

[Feelwell]

Just now, Enigma said:

Depends on how well the fursuit is made.

I think if it reaches a certain quality they'd assume its the coming of the messiah or aliens.

Or something.

[#00Buck]

14 minutes ago, Enigma said:

You grew from the experience and I doubt you'll do it again. 

And FYI we are all freaks to 'normal' society. Furries remember? 

I'm sure if you walked out of your home in a fursuit they'd be talking about you just as much.

My neighbours have all seen me in ears and a tail.

Nobody cares. 

Naked tripping on drugs? I'd be arrested in less than a minute. 

[Socketosis]

1 hour ago, #00Buck said:

My neighbours have all seen me in ears and a tail.

Nobody cares.

Oh they certainly do. Just behind closed doors.

[Feelwell]

16 minutes ago, Socketosis said:

Oh they certainly do. Just behind closed doors.

They got off to it.