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Rave: Jenny Craig


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So recently I was recently at my grandmothers and dying for a snack, alas there was not one to be found, so I had a search through the pantry and you wouldn't guess who was my savior. Jenny Craig, those health food bars are kind of delicious and although I don't eat many bars like that, I might start buying those on their own (if you can, I imagine you can buy jenny craig stuff on its own???).

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I forgot how gay this place was.

Jenny Craig?

More like... Uh... Faggy Craig


OT: OP, You should carry apples with you whenever you visit people.

It's useful because you have a snack that can be shared with friends if you bring a whole bag. You can bond over apples and strengthen the bonds of friendship.

But I don't eat apples because I'm not a fucking horse. Except for below the waist, but that's neither here nor there.

I hope this help a you fight your munchies, bruh.

I know it's dank when u hit dat bowl bruh 😎


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When I started the Jenny Craig diet I use to be a monstrous ham golem. Life was harder than the cheese block in the fridge, and all doorways were a challenge to attempt to squeeze all the folds through without pinching off another slab of flesh. It was the saddest time of my life, and my three best friends were Little Debbie and Ben & Jerry (I think they were lovers). Then one day while I was finishing my tenth bag of DorCheetos (Cheetos and Doritos mixed in a large freezer bag) this magical wench come bursting through my wall like the Kool-Aid man, and she starts pelting me with her specially made frozen dinners. I was relieved she came to me in my hour of need. I was feeling my next stroke/heart attack coming on as the diabetes was setting in; but these little frozen carbonless plastic meals were shoved down my gullet in moments, sucking the fat from my bones like some kind of parasitic creature of eldritch lore. Now I can frolic freely in the meadows, naked, without judgement, or earthquakes and gravity wells.

Take your Jenny Craigs. They are tasteless little miracles.

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