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Introducing, a brand new service on FA!


DevilishlyHandsome49
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Its the Review Service!

What are they, you may ask? Well...

Screenshot_2016-02-29-11-13-30_1.thumb.j

You saw right folks! These are a group of students and proof readers...who you pay to have them review your stuff for the minimum price of 20 dollars

Just look at this professionally written review by one of them :3

Mmmm~ Text walls and typos

But wait, there's moar! You can pay for how long you want the review. Want some long winded, drawn out bs? 30 more dollars plz

Drawings, comics, your crappy fursuit vid you filmed with a potato! All of this can be reviewed as long as you drop dat dolla.

"But Dev?" You ask.

"Why cant I just have a friend or a volunteer happily review my shit for the low low price of free?"

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"I will preface this review with a warning: My words MAY come across as too harsh to those who may be overly sensitive. PLEASE do not take this as unnecessary cruelty. That is far from my intent. I strive only to point out one's errors so that they may improve.

I can appreciate and fully respect someone making the effort to write a story. I find it very commendable and worthy of praise and support, so please allow me to begin by expressing my own support (repetition) for the author in question.

New paragraph -> As for the story itself, I must be sincere and say the story was far too rushed, in my opinion. In some cases, this is forgivable, but in THIS case it results in an experience that is FAR too jarring. As a result, the text was difficult to follow. Improper grammar is prevalent throughout, along with the occasional misspelling. Early on, there is an abrupt switch from third-person to first-person storytelling (one word) that may confuse the reader. There is a consistent problem with present-tense words being used, when past-tense words are called for. Character names are overused to the point of becoming repetitive.

New paragraph -> Improper word use is also abundant, as is use of words incorrect to the given situation. (redundant) Examples given: 'spike collar' should be 'spiked collar,' 'leaped out' should be 'lept out,' 'new it' should be 'knew it,' etcetera. Overall descriptions are far too basic and overly simplistic. The overall (repetitive) language used is too repetitive. (fucking lol) At one point in the story, the character's genders (This should either be "characters' genders" or "character's gender," depending on how many there are.) suddenly shift, causing GREAT confusion. The character 'Velvet' uses VERY broken grammar, but there does seem to be an indication within the story that this is both intentional and a character trait. IF (Bro, why do you feel the need to capitalize shit like a Dumblr?) this is true, then this is completely forgivable.

New paragraph -> In addition to the repetitive name usage, several words are used too often in quick succession. There is a lack of logic in the storytelling at several points in the narrative. For example, why does 'Saberstar' need to grow wings, when she(?) can already fly in the land of 'Pawton?' (unnecessary) Also, how does 'Saberstar' suddenly know exactly how to use her new cybernetic tail, with no foreknowledge (one word) or training?

New paragraph -> The dialogue spoken by the characters requires a sense of ownership. Who is saying what? The lack of clarification is confusing to the reader.

New paragraph -> Overall, the problems can be summed up as summarized thus (awkward phrasing): repetitive word use, jarring shift in perspective, several misspellings, improper grammar throughout, rushed and confusing narrative with overly simplified logic, improper word use, dialogue lacks (should be past-tense) ownership, ambiguous character genders, causing (should be past-tense) reader confusion, overly simplistic descriptions that negatively impact the narrative, and an overall rushed narrative that results in an sense of confusion (redunant / already mentioned) and exasperation.
Line break -> Reading becomes a chore, rather than a pleasure. I do hope this doesn't come off as too harsh. I tried to be as neutral and unbiased with this review as possible. PLEASE do not feel discouraged, and keep trying. A simple grammar and spell check will resolve MOST of these issues. Practice makes perfect."

Review length: 510 words
Cost: $18.04"

3/10
Please see me after class.

Also, for the love of fuck, please stop repeating the word "use" in every sentence possible.

Why is a review service paid by length even allowed to add a "tl;dr" at the end? Aren't you being paid to cover these points in the review, itself? Didn't you do just that? Why are you repeating yourself?
That's pretty scummy to milk a few extra dollars, just sayin.

That'll be $60.

Edited by Vae
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I am calling it now. This going to be FA's equivalent to reaction channels. The first few will be good quality editing. But as time goes by, FA will just be over saturated once people see easy money in just running spell checker and spacing a paragraph or two.

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Just now, Deskai said:

if a person is a heavy writer, they already have a team or someone specifically to read their stuff over

Which for FA standards "No one reads unless there is pretty pictures with the story"

Which is true. If your are a FF writer, you can easily pulls a handful of Beta writers easily just to read your stuff and review it. 

Someone should make a counter "Free Writing help" group on FA just as a counter to this kind of thing. Free help exists. 

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Just now, Zeke said:

Which is true. If your are a FF writer, you can easily pulls a handful of Beta writers easily just to read your stuff and review it. 

Someone should make a counter "Free Writing help" group on FA just as a counter to this kind of thing. Free help exists. 

we could, but Folks wont see either, though SoFurry again has a group dedicated to writers which consist of writers and they help each other.

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"Lit students and people who love books" isn't an awfully fantastic group to do the job.

How do we know they have any experience as critics or proof readers?

It doesn't seem reliable. The only reason they're making anything is because furries are dumb and easily led.

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4 minutes ago, Saxon said:

Do you really want to read loads of poorly written sub-pornographic furry stories? 

Who am I kidding? Of course you do. 

Hey, I wouldn't do it so I could make fun of it in a vid or something. Thats what the comments on art are for :V

But seriously, I don't like seeing people write and never improve and be happy with what they got cause people will blindly tell them "Ess gewd" If I can help them become better writers and decrease the amount of poor written stuff in the fandom, then why not?

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3 hours ago, DevilishlyHandsome49 said:

Hey, I wouldn't do it so I could make fun of it in a vid or something. Thats what the comments on art are for :V

But seriously, I don't like seeing people write and never improve and be happy with what they got cause people will blindly tell them "Ess gewd" If I can help them become better writers and decrease the amount of poor written stuff in the fandom, then why not?

we will make them write grade B smut instead of this D and F class shit.

A class smut isnt smut but a story that is really good have have really good smut scenes..

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6 hours ago, DevilishlyHandsome49 said:

You know I'm actually for @Zeke's idea of creating a free volunteer proof reading service with people who have some experience or know what the fuck they're talking about, 

Even if I had the time, I'm not sure I have the willpower to go through tons of furry stories. I've read some and yikes.

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53 minutes ago, Conker said:

Even if I had the time, I'm not sure I have the willpower to go through tons of furry stories. I've read some and yikes.

I'd like to make it...but hell, I'm trying to get back into writing myself. Maybe when I've gotten back into the groove (yes, I said groove) of things and have stronger fortitude, then it could happen

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This is funny. I actually used to do this. Difference was I did it for free and I made the offer myself whenever I came across a writer with promise who just needed refinement. Hell I'd still do it actually, I guess I just fell out of the habit.

Oh, awesome. They want payment before they start, and if they don't get it done you get a partial refund.

Edited by FlynnCoyote
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1 hour ago, Zeke said:

At that point, I'd start a list of how many stories you'd willingly take in. 

Good point. I dunno. On the one hand, I'm enough of a romantic (not sure if that's the right word) to like the idea of fostering and growing the writing community of any fandom; on the other hand, I'm a lazy, bitter cunt who likes beer and whiskey.

So you know, it probably wouldn't work out :P

Also, it's not like I have any publishing credits to make me seem worthwhile.

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I'm not completely against the idea of paid critique, because having a pool of quality critiques can be an absolutely wonderful thing, if executed properly.

This, however, is not executed properly.
This is scammy and shitty.
This is what happens when kids take one lit class and think they're suddenly a master of the craft; pure embodiment of "the douchey lit major."

I haven't been in school for ten years, and I'm still more competent at critique and writing as a hobby, than these people are at being paid.

If you're gonna have the sheer audacity to do this, in the first place, include the entire pool for one set price. Multiple perspectives offering input will always, always, always be better than just one, to offer a comprehensive idea of what is wrong, and what exactly needs to be analyzed.

Divide price tiers into pre-set chunks, and not the ridiculously low counts that are presented on that page. Hell, a quick google search will reveal that a 16000 word count is common for a children's book.
Pricing on that page claims that this would be somewhere in the ~$22 range. For the length of a children's book. That's ridiculous.

And, for the love of fuck, please actually know what you're talking about, first.

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  • 4 weeks later...

As someone who's main "talent" (I feel like I sound really arrogant when I say that.) is as a writer, this is completely, nuts. Most people have friends who are practiced writers, or heck, even avid readers. There's English teachers if you happen to still be in school. Just don't ask them to proofread your smut. Of course there's the aforementioned free review assistance groups, there's feedback from comments. The idea of a paid review, and with business policies this dodgy, is a terrible, fairly exploitative idea. 

I've never 100% known if parts of FA are as bad as they say they are, but this doesn't exactly restore faith.

Edited by Feelwell the Rabbit
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