poll Dating Websites and Apps

[DrGravitas]

According to this article on Phys.org, 15% of American Adults have tried online dating sites or apps. That's up from 11% in a similar survey from 2013

Has anyone here ever tried online dating websites?

Be sure to post here which ones (or don't), what your experience was like, and what you think of the whole idea!

[Zytan]

Who needs dating sites when you have xbox live? :V Seriously, it worked for me... go figure

[Chrysocyon]

Both answers are required even if "No" is picked for the first question, and there's no N/A option for the second question. D:

Pedantic fourth option it is.

I've never used a dating service of any kind, all my relationships have started from people I've first met in person.

[Endless/Nameless]

Dating websites are ok I guess, but definitely not right for everybody. IRL is highly superior.

I experimented with OkCupid for a while; I wasn't too serious about it but I figured I'd test it out. I never made a single connection. Waste of my time. I actually highly recommend the site tho; they have a great system, and it's one of the few that actually reasonably usable without paying a dime.

[Mayonnaise]

Tried once, ended badly. Kind of why I'm wary of online relationships.

[willow]

I started off using Grindr as a joke but I lowkey wanted to see where it would go. also because you sometimes get some hilarious messages. and then I downloaded Scruff because I heard it was a little more trans friendly

I've met up with a few guys off of those apps...it was weird 

I had Tinder and OKC for awhile but I didn't like either I them 

[Brazen]

I met my girlfriend while shitposting. It's just a thing that happens. If you like someone enough a relationship just kinda happens. You don't need fancy apps

Edited March 13, 2016 by Brazen

[Endless/Nameless]

1 minute ago, Brazen said:

I met my girlfriend while shitposting

Now that's the way to do it. 

[Xaende]

I've joined a few over the years, but have yet to act on it. Why not?

 

The typical dating website woman:

Big sports fan, passionate about wine tasting, world traveler, has narrow tastes in music, unquestioningly accepts the status quo, and posts drunk photos of herself. Not that there aren't exceptions, of course. Some seem cool and down to earth at first, but list a minimum salary requirement or something else equally superficial. Even if I meet those requirements, I find myself turned off. In the rare case that she has any geeky/nerdy interests, they're usually limited to something like recent Doctor Who episodes, or maybe she has a job in a STEM field but little imagination.

 

The kind of woman I'd like to see on a dating website:

Doesn't follow sports, imaginative, likes to read random things, seems kind and sentimental, questions the status quo (not necessarily challenges it but is at least curious), enjoys spending a quiet night at home, is open-minded about music etc.

 

I have dated women that I've met online, but through shared interests rather than internet meat markets.

Edited March 13, 2016 by Xaende

[Alexxx-Returns]

I like the idea of them, but whenever I use them it goes nowhere. I get a ton of guys messaging me saying stuff like "what's up?" Or "how's your day going?" Not ice breakers at all, which is important if you're as much of a social failure as I am. When I get those kinda of messages I never respond because it never goes anywhere.

[Spot]

I have a friend that met someone online and is now happily married. But, times have changed. Everyone just seems to want to get laid these days and online dating sites is a primary breeding ground for it. 

[Snagged]

3 minutes ago, Mr. Fox said:

I have a friend that met someone online and is now happily married. But, times have changed. Everyone just seems to want to get laid these days and online dating sites is a primary breeding ground for it. 

When I used a dating app, I was genuinely looking for a relationship. I wanted someone who I could live with

[Spot]

58 minutes ago, Snagged Cub said:

When I used a dating app, I was genuinely looking for a relationship. I wanted someone who I could live with

You were probably the only one. :v

Edited March 13, 2016 by Mr. Fox

[DrGravitas]

3 hours ago, Alexxx-Returns said:

I like the idea of them, but whenever I use them it goes nowhere. I get a ton of guys messaging me saying stuff like "what's up?" Or "how's your day going?" Not ice breakers at all, which is important if you're as much of a social failure as I am. When I get those kinda of messages I never respond because it never goes anywhere.

Interesting! What sort of messages are you looking for, then?

[Alexxx-Returns]

1 hour ago, DrGravitas said:

Interesting! What sort of messages are you looking for, then?

You need something which could actually get a conversation going from somewhere with some substance. If you go with the "hey what's up?" first contact, I can only respond with "It's all good, hbu?" etc etc.

Versus asking what the person's hobbies are, or where they work or what they study which could start something.

[Xaende]

5 hours ago, Alexxx-Returns said:

You need something which could actually get a conversation going from somewhere with some substance. If you go with the "hey what's up?" first contact, I can only respond with "It's all good, hbu?" etc etc.

Versus asking what the person's hobbies are, or where they work or what they study which could start something.

Sounds like 99% of the IMs on Second Life, lol. Although, to be fair, I have had some real interactions on there. It can be hard to find folks who either can or want to carry a conversation, but they're out there.

Have you tried asking what they like to do for fun, or proactively shared a little about yourself? Sometimes, that helps move things beyond the "I'm fine, how are you?" routine. Maybe they're nervous and don't know what else to say. Then again, dating site messages are often a copy/paste ordeal and lack anything personal. Women do this too. It helps to at least show that you've read someone's profile and are actually interested. A fact that may be lost those guys.

[Kinare]

Have been on eHarmony for a while now and used their app. At times was a subscriber, but haven't been in a while. Have also tried 2 other sites, but haven't checked either of those in years because in order to get anywhere you have to pay through the nose (and I did for a bit, but not anymore since it seems like a waste of money now). I've had a few messages exchanged back and forth, but even that was rare. All but two of the guys I started the process with ended up eventually revealing they need someone who is super happy/optimistic all the time (or just mention they can't stand anyone who might struggle with depression) and/or hot. Like... why even contact me when you want the latter, clearly you can see I'm not by my picture... Any of the ones who have contacted me in the last year are clearly people just interested in green card marriages, are the complete opposite of what I need, or I'm the complete opposite of what they say they need... It's really stupid.

The whole process has really just added towards my cynical view of men and how all they care about is sex, sex and sex, sometimes food. I can't date in the traditional way either because just talking to strangers IRL makes me quite anxious, especially guys, and that nervousness causes me to give a very bad first impression of myself. I can't imagine what might happen if someone were to actually flirt with me. The couple times it happened in high school it made me really mad/depressed simultaneously because I either took it as an insult (like maybe they were joking or being mean or w/e) or ended up beating myself up for it and telling myself they couldn't possibly be flirting because wtf am I to deserve that.

I basically need to form friendships with people before I can actually see them as potential mates so that I can get comfortable enough with them to think that way about them. Unfortunately, neither online dating nor IRL dating can really do that for me it seems. I'll kinda just have to get lucky there. Other problem is, I am garbage and am barely good enough to befriend, so it's hard just to convince people to befriend me and even when I can, convincing people to go from friends to more is near impossible and I don't try anymore because it's not worth making things awkward and losing a friend over. Also for some reason I can't find friends in the US lately, only Europeans, and different countries is much more difficult to try to plan a legit future - especially when you're talking overseas.

Very depressing topic to go to bed thinking about. Yay!

[Ieono]

I've met several people from various different dating sites and apps, but it never actually goes anywhere after the first few meetings. I tend to get very bored of most people, and it is rare to find someone who wants to talk about things beyond themselves without you having to take the conversation there. I don't like talking about myself, I like talking about things greater than me. But most people want to go on and on about their boring, mundane lives, as if it was the only thing they could think about. 

I'd say out of 40 or 50 people in the last 4 years, I've probably only kept in contact with 2 or 3 of them...yeah, 3 people I can think of. Most people are just...not interesting at all. 

I'd recommend online dating to most people. It works for a lot of people, especially if they don't have super-high standards like me.

Edited March 14, 2016 by Ieono

[deconstructed furry]

Yes I've used them (and still do) because if you're any sort of LGBT, that's kind of your only option.

[Luca]

Nope, I probably should have though. Finding other gay guys people is impossible if you don't go to bars and even when I did I wanted nothing to do with most of them. I got caught in a fluke when someone I've know for several years online just happened to be into me and free and opened up at the right time.

He's a few miles away but for now this is working...

<_<

[TrishaCat]

If I don't have a car is there any point to trying to use these websites?

[willow]

13 hours ago, Battlechili said:

If I don't have a car is there any point to trying to use these websites?

Depends. Do you have other means of transportation (i.e. bike or bus) and how far are you willing to travel within your area? Alternatively, are you comfortable with people coming to you?