Feelwell Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 A blow torch. Also preferably your consent otherwise it'd be super weird. Hug someone you really don't like. And like, a real proper hug. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 A suit of armour covered in large spikes, barbed wire and lemon juice. Hunt down the puppeteer who operated Elmo and tickle him mercilessly until he calls the police. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 Free! Just provide a driver in a fool-proof getaway car. That sounds fun. I'd dress as Elmo, while I tickle the guy mercilessly, and film the whole thing, and become an anonymous internet sensation. Work as a mall Santa, in a very busy mall, all December, during the 8 busiest hours of each day. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FenrirDarkWolf Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 As long as I get paid good, hell yeah! Spend an hour with a forum troll, and not one of the good ones either. The ones that fall into "complete asshole" territory. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 $1,000 and enough Xanax not to care! Spend a year living in the most remote jungle regions of Borneo, in a tent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
U-235 Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 5,000 + a gun with near unlimited ammo + a pocket knife + flint + 2 cooking pans Attend anthrocon in nothing more than a speedo (and applicable top if you're a lady) and a Joe Biden mask, assuming that security doesn't catch you and throw you out. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xaende Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 Cover all my expenses for Anthrocon, including travel & food, and you've got a deal. Wear a tail at work or school, every day for a year. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LazerMaster5 Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 Full gun training and both concealed carry and open carry permits, and full access to an arsenal full of cool guns. Oh, and make the tail out of flame resistant materials, I don't need a MIG spark setting me ablaze. Go to a Limp Bizkit show and stand next to a speaker for the entirety of the show, including any opening bands. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted December 14, 2016 Share Posted December 14, 2016 The ability to turn that particular speaker off! Spend a year working as a pole dancer, at a shady truck-stop strip club, just outside of Tulsa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted December 27, 2016 Author Share Posted December 27, 2016 Supplemental income sufficient to cover the complete lack of any tips I'd get, a therapist during and after to deal with the psychological damage accrued from boos/hisses/etc, a body guard, medical/dental/vision, a 401k with 6% matching contribution by the employer, and a personal trainer to get me in shape. Circumnavigate the globe following Magellan's route using authentic period ship/equipment (with appropriate crew, etc). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 Basically free. Just a year off work, and expenses. I'm up for change and adventure. Work the frier at a busy McDonald's the rest of your life, 40 hours a week, no vacations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosha Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 I'd need a cloning machine. Overthrow a Middle Eastern government. I need to know this for reasons. <_<; Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 A huge arsenal of new chemical weapons, such as laughing gas they really did make people laugh helplessly, an additive I could put in the food and water that would make everyone worship furries and give up all other religions, another that would make guns and tanks and other such weapons fall apart. Eat nothing but insects, for one month, alive or deep-fried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted January 10, 2017 Author Share Posted January 10, 2017 Deep fried insects wouldn't be so bad. Provide me the necessary nutritional supplements, seasonings, and condiments and I'll do it for about $300. The money I save on groceries alone would make it worth it! Ride a bus non-stop across the US, filled with screaming children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 Pay my bus fair. Of course, I'd be the reason they're screaming... Attach giant magnets to your boots, metal plating to your ceiling and live upside down for a year, at least when you're at home. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted January 12, 2017 Author Share Posted January 12, 2017 I'm pretty ticklish, so I don't know how effective I'd be that day. Let's go with $30K and a couple days off to soak in a bathtub afterwards. Star in the first X-Rated Furry Broadway musical: Yiffers of Knothole Bend. You suspect it's a plot to exploit a tax loophole for failed plays. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 So long as I was fully fursuited, along with only having to engage in yiffy parts with other (attractive) male fursuiters, I'd do it for $1,000/show, plus free wine, food and wild after-hours parties afterwards. And the condition that at least half of the characters were Skunks. Upon the age of retirement, live in an all furry, all fursuited retirement community/old furs home until your death. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 So long as neither I nor my relatives have to pay for it, that might be fun. Nicer than looking at a load of old biddies and geezers all day. I don't expect I'll ever be able to retire anyway. Tell you what, get me a part in that musical you're going to be in (I'll be the token straight guy and do all the fun bits with the lady suiters) and we'll call it quits. How much to attend all the company meetings disguised as me so I don't have to go? They are so boring and nothing good ever comes out of them. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 20 hours ago, DrGravitas said: Star in the first X-Rated Furry Broadway musical: Yiffers of Knothole Bend. You suspect it's a plot to exploit a tax loophole for failed plays. Actually never mind, I'll do the lyrics! "Yiffy, a fur pile on the pavement, Have the crowd lost their hearing? I can see they're still here... In the lamplight, My underpants fall down round my feet, And the fox... begins to moan" (To the tune of 'Memory' from 'Cats') 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 On 1/13/2017 at 9:37 AM, Faust said: How much to attend all the company meetings disguised as me so I don't have to go? They are so boring and nothing good ever comes out of them. I'm broke, so I'd say $100/meeting, and the ability to be at two places at once, in case it conflicts with my current job. How much to be the official fur-suit cleaner of ALL the fur-suits, the day after Anthrocon ends? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted January 20, 2017 Author Share Posted January 20, 2017 3 million dollars. All that sweat and grime D: Spend a day on stilts in a maned wolf fursuit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snagged Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 Just a weekend day when you dont have to go to school/work NYP for eating a rat alive Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feelwell Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 A guarantee it's not @PastryOfApathy, a deep frier, and 1,000 + any medical care I'd need because of it 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 (No question, so I'll ask one) How much to eat a large, KFC sized bucket of deep fried mice? (Including the tails) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zop Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Probably a hundred grand and somethung to make me throw up afterwards, but my coyote avatar thingy would do it for free and ask for the recipe. How much to wear a horrifically constructed fursuit to a family reunion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted January 24, 2017 Author Share Posted January 24, 2017 Oh lawd, pls no. I'll do it in exchange for ALL OF EUROPE! Take a baseball bat and whack a beehive with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 I'll need a protective beekeeper suit and a team of toxicologists standing by. Also, only if it's one of those wooden things that humans make to cage their INSECT SLAVES. Freedom, my apial cousins, freedom is bat-shaped! Baseball AND vampire type! How much to learn how to use jumping stilts and take a bit-part as an orc in Lord of the Rings: the Musical? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zop Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 Payment for the numerous medical bills I would likely incur while dancing on stiltd. Otherwise, being an orc in a lord of the rings musical is its own reward. How much to go skydiving where there is a 10% chance your parachute is nonfunctional. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaosmasterdelta Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 A parachute that has a 100% chance to work. Also, cake. How much to be a test subject for a drug that has the effect of every drug there is? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted February 1, 2017 Author Share Posted February 1, 2017 Pretty sure that would kill me. Probably quite painfully. To do it, I would have to be given a lavish burial, in a massive Pyramid (bigger than Giza's) made of titanium blocks and built on Mars. Have your thumbs glued to the side of you hands for 3 days. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 Huh, not so bad, all in all. I mean, I could still type and do a lot of other things. I'd say $100/day, plus any missed wages. How much to be my humble servant for a week, and follow all my commands? (PG-13, or course!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaosmasterdelta Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 I would probably do that anyway since I'm such a doormat. But so I get something out of it, I get to pick something out at GameStop for you to buy me. how much to be blamed for everything bad that happens on the site for a year? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted February 2, 2017 Author Share Posted February 2, 2017 Assurances that the site won't tear itself to shreds, that I won't lose all my friends for trying to remain neutral/fair, and a purple-colored role. Drink a coffee derived from beans eaten and excreted by a specific species of mongoose. (After cleaning them, of course) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 Free! I've always wanted to try that coffee. (Kopi Luwak.) Very pricey coffee, that. How much to have to start each day with two hours of bungee jumping, over and over, from a high distance, whilst playing the trombone in a gold lamé tutu, for one year? (cost of jumping, tutu and trombone included) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 I don't think there's enough money in the world to persuade me to play the trombone... How much to fly a drone pained with the Mexican flag into the Oval Office in the White House? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 One bag of Doritos, and the drone. How much to go around for a day at a fair or amusement park popping the kid's balloons with a lit cigar, just to be mean, for a day? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zop Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 As long as I don't get it trouble, consider it done. Oh I guess throw in some replacement balloons for the kids, too, I won't be that big of a dick. Maybe some ice cream as well. How much to walk into an old folks home and tip over everyone using a wheelchair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted February 7, 2017 Author Share Posted February 7, 2017 Free lifelong healthcare for everyone I tip over. Also I get to wear a Snidely Whiplash costume while doing it. Um and $3000, I guess. Personally kill, skin, and make a coat out of the same animal as your fursona. If you lack a fursona, or yours is a fantasy animal, then it'll be your favorite animal. If you already regularly do this, taxidermy, or other activities like it, then you do it to a human medical cadaver instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Nope, could not do it for any amount.....Unless it was enough to buy the entire island of Madagascar, and make it into a nature preserve. I'm endangered! How much to bring a MLP lunch-box to work, every day, for a year, AND wear this hoodie to work, in the cool months? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Hmm, I could really use a house. A nice one mind, in a good area, with a small garden and a waterproof garage with plenty of space for power tools and workbenches. And a big kitchen, that's a must! Two bedrooms, a study would be nice, must have a bath as I'm not making do with just a shower cubicle. Needs to be on a good transport route to my workplace. ...then I could work from home How much to jump off the Clifton Suspension Bridge in a squirrel suit? (You can have a parachute too if you need one.) I'll arrange a barge with a padded landing zone for you to aim for, but you'd better not miss or you'll be in the freezing muddy river Avon. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Huh, sounds kind of fun. Looks rather scenic, and I've never been to the UK. So, tickets on a steamer over there, two months paid leave, the squirrel suit, a parachute, and a crowd of adoring fans. How much to pounce upon and tickle 3 random strangers in a busy urban area, while wearing nothing but a pair of Crocs and a G-string?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 A fast, safe, and effective weight-loss and fitness program to get me into stunning shape, that I may choose to disregard unsuitable or awkward targets, and that I be oiled up and slick enough that the cops can't keep ahold of me. Walk across a live minefield, equipt with only a good metal detector to help you. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 Very small mines, the size of firecrackers. And a pair of tap-dancing shoes. How much to go to work, in a cute Piglet (from Winnie the Pooh) outfit, for a week? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feelwell Posted February 15, 2017 Share Posted February 15, 2017 The problem is, me wearing a Piglet outfit can't be cute. So, I'm going to say, 3,000 US, a better job lined up for me afterwards, and a mask to hide my face. How much to be the person responsible for plunging the world into nuclear armageddon, ending billions of lives and causing untold, unimaginable suffering? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted February 16, 2017 Share Posted February 16, 2017 Well, make me undisputed overlord of all the remaining healthy humans and give me a good unpolluted safe land within which to create New Eden and I guess we'll call it quits. Now, who wants to join my apocalyptic death cult? Entry qualifications are easy, just remember the mystical word BABOAB (Bring a Beer or a Babe.) How much to secretly dig up the foundations of Long Island, New York, fit it with floatation devices and engines, and sail it out into international waters where my navy can legally take ownership of it? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 The needed equipment, and I'd do it for kicks. (And to be Benevolent and Beloved Ruler of aid Island) Just imagine, all those bitchy, rich people being towed away to our forced labor camps! All those plastic surgery disasters of The Hamptons will be busy picking beans, all day long, while I drive around laughing at them, in a big purple Cadillac! How much to run down a 20 foot hallway barefoot, covered in d4 (d sided dice), pointy side up? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted February 24, 2017 Author Share Posted February 24, 2017 $30 million and proper safety gear for the rest of my body incase I fall. Press your face against a tame lion's butt for 3 minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antumbra Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 $10000 because I still wouldn't trust it. The only TV or video you can watch is your favorite show, but only your favorite episode on repeat, for an entire year. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuujou Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 $1000 I'm not to hurt about watching Cyber City OEDO episode 1 for a year. Basically did that when I found it in 2015. lol Be the next Coyote Peterson and take a bullet ant sting......on the ass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted March 7, 2017 Author Share Posted March 7, 2017 3 Billion dollars and a popular, but mercifully short television run. Vacuum every carpet in the entire Empire State Building, with minimal breaks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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