StrangerCoug Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Granted. The extra inch comes from your height. Thought you were going to try and attract the ladies, weren't you?I wish for a proper HVAC system. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrangerCoug Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Granted. They gross you out.I wish I didn't get tired as easily. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Granted. You are now unable to repair punctures.I wish I didn't love excruciating puns so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrangerCoug Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Granted. You don't get puns at all.I wish Adobe would actually process my order for Creative Cloud. I'm too lazy to call them on my phone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zop Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Granted. The version they send you is incompatible with your OS. Also u suck at whatever that is so even if the order were right, u would fail at doing the thing.I wish for BAAAACCCOOOONNNN!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aouzy Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Granted, but it's actually turkey bacon. I wish I didn't procrastinate much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 Granted, you lose control of your bladder and bowels though. I wish for a super awesome snow leopard cave for my snow leopard self. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Granted. Unfortunately you accidentally hit the 'Upgrade' button and get updated to Mountain Lion....which is a bugger since the rest of us are all on El Capitan by now....which is probably where the cave is.I wish y'all had Apple Macs too so that you could get the joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LazerMaster5 Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Granted, but we never use them. Apple Macs are shit.I wish school wasn't so damn stressful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PheagleAdler Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Granted, but you have to attend until you die.I wish I had a million dollars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrangerCoug Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Granted. A pack of gum costs $250,000. Adjust the price of everything else accordingly.I wish for happiness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rennec Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Granted. Your face subsequently hurts all the time because you cant stop smiling.I wish I didn't need to breathe to liveGranted but now you are a stone statue.wish I had a super sized pumpkin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 It appears up hill a short distance from you, the size of the moon and on its side. It starts rolling...I wish I that wishes were granted to the intent of the wisher, rather than to the explicit statement of the wisher as interpreted by the wish granter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caledonian Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 no wish was here to be granted, therefore I corrupt the statement by commenting and not letting the tread dieI wish for a pencil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Granted. Here comes celebrity wish-granter Vlad the Impaler to 'give' it to you!I wish there were more hours in the day. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caledonian Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 granted, but hours are shorter now.I wish I could use internet on my laptop in the metro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrangerCoug Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Granted. Your laptop gets stolen while in the metro.I wish to have the solution to all of the world's problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrangerCoug Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Granted. They gun you down instead.I wish to understand myself better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 You are provided with several libraries worth of biology textbooks.I wish to for you to not grant this wish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrangerCoug Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Granted. This is not StrangerCoug; this is your significant other. You're dumped.I wish for chocolate. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rennec Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Granted but it a chocolate laxitive.I wish for peace and quite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 You are teleported into deep space, a trillion lifetimes away from the nearest atom (it's a hydrogen one and it's lonely.)I wish for everything! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caledonian Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Granted, you are now a god and nobody believes you existI wish for fresh fish 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rennec Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Granted but it's a live anthro shark which the meat vendor butchers in front of you.I wish I had a little mischievous fox. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Granted, now you're stuck with me forever! HAHAHAHAHA!I wish for talent in all I do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrangerCoug Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Granted. Nobody appreciates it.I wish to know whether the girl I love loves me back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caledonian Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 granted, it is not inedible matter.i wish to live in the UK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Granted. Due to David Cameron and his fucking horrible government; you end up starving to death whils't still handing out CVs to potential employers, oh well you worthless scum... Tories don't need unemployed nobodies. I wish for a gigantic Banoffe Pie. Mmmmm... banoffee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Granted. It splats down onto your head and smothers you. Also, like all good Banoffee pies, it's boiling hot on the inside so you also burn painfully as you die of suffocation.I wish I could live in the mansion that I build in Minecraft. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaosmasterdelta Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Granted. But your Minecraft files are deleted by a virus and since you live in there, you are also deleted.I wish I could come up with something to wish for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caledonian Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 granted. it is a very, very lame thing.i wish to get my hair dyed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Granted. You are now ginger.I wish I could fly, right up to the sky, but I can't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Granted, you fly up to the sky like a majestic bird you were meant to be! However you didn't take into consideration how cold it is up there and unfortunately you freeze to death and fall back to Earth and go CRASHSHATTERPOPSPLAT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caledonian Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Granted. You are now ginger.I wish I could fly, right up to the sky, but I can't.joke is on you. I actually am dyed vibrant orange at the moment.I wish Kinhara would make a nice wish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Granted! I wish for a room full of happy Kittens that everyone can go into and play with when they want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Granted. All can go in, but none can come out. Infinite happy kittens are the only food source.I wish for grace and good looks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrangerCoug Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Granted. You STILL can't get laid.I wish to stop procrastinating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grassfed Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Granted, now you just accept the fact you're not going to do what you set out to do.I wish I had 100 acres of beautiful wooded land in Oregon.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaosmasterdelta Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Granted, but you have no idea how to use them so you end up dead from not following nuclear laser safety protacallI wish for a cupcake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caledonian Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Granted. I'll make it for you when/if i meet you, which migt never happen.I wish this gd trafficjam was over already Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrazyTundraWolf Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Granted but everyone is now driving at 70mph.I wish posting and forum games increased my post count. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Granted. Everyone leaves the forums for something else. I wish I had the power to teleport to my boyfriend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Granted. Telefrag! First Blood!I wish I had more time to pursue the things I love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Granted. That thumb drive will always have 1 petabyte of spare space. Because it's read-only.I wish for potatoes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaosmasterdelta Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Granted. The potatoes appear in the sky above you and rain down on you. You die from being hit with a massive amount of potatoes that were falling at high speed.I wish to be the most famous user on the forums. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Granted. Everyone hates you and ignores you. I wish for the power to time travel and be able to influence events without being killed and also for me and the people to be able to 100% understand each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Granted. You are not killed. The timeline merely changes so that you were never born which is totally a different thing.I wish I had a free daily housemaid to clean up my unholy messes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 Granted, it takes you 3 years to realize they've stolen far more from you than you ever would have paid them. Before you can confront them they steal your identity and retire in South America. You are now broke.I wish for lemonade. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rennec Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Granted. However, it's made of the most bitter Myer Lemons.I wish my pillows were new and fluffy again.Granted but the pillows are made and stuffed with 5 of your 6 tails.I wish I had a pet bat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Granted but the pillows are made and stuffed with 5 of your 6 tails.I wish I had a pet bat.Granted. It is as lame as your pet rock, but it comes with a free matching baseball!I wish I a pet fox. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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