Differences of Opinion. (mini rant)

[Red Lion]

"You don't want to be friends because of differing opinions?"

No I don't.  If your opinions are less "I like pickles on my sandwiches" and more "Seeing interracial couples makes me physically ill" then no I don't fucking want to be friends with you. I only even exist because of interracial boinking. Of fucking course I'm not going to be friends with someone who thinks ethnic minorities dating white people is some kind of heinous betrayal of race. I mean shit, that's not even a difference of opinion that's a difference of fundamental ideology. Hell no we can't be friends, I think there's like a 90% chance you might be a crappy person. Nope. No thank you. Fuck dis shit I'm out. 

[Guest]

Just saying that I agree with you. I'll stop being friends with anyone who disagrees w me on some really serious, fundamental stuff such as racism, the gays, w/e. Problem is that with belief you usually get the quip, "oh so you just want a safe space? what an sjw". 

Nah fam I just don't wanna hang around people that think I should burn in hell or should not exist cuz my parents boinked. 

[Vallium]

Out of curiosity, What exactly is their reaction if you were to tell them you were born from an interracial couple?

Flustered and ashamed, or apologizing for your existence and making excuses to justify their point?

[Red Lion]

4 minutes ago, WolfNightV4X1 said:

Out of curiosity, What exactly is their reaction if you were to tell them you were born from an interracial couple?

Flustered and ashamed, or apologizing for your existence and making excuses to justify their point?

The interracial couple was my american great grandparents. A Cherokee woman and a Scottish/Native/African American. 

But mostly their response is just to call my dad's family a bunch of race traitors with no pride. 

[AshleyAshes]

51 minutes ago, Red Lion said:

"Seeing interracial couples makes me physically ill" then no I don't fucking want to be friends with you...I think there's like a 90% chance you might be a crappy person.

90%?  I think you might be low balling that guess.  I'm like 100% sure you're low balling it.

[Red Lion]

Just now, AshleyAshes said:

90%?  I think you might be low balling that guess.  I'm like 100% sure you're low balling it.

I try to give everyone SOME benefit of doubt. Even if it's just a marginal chance that they're less on the terrible and more on the misguided side of things. *shrug* 

[Vae]

People have this really skewed mentality that opinions have to be respected.
They don't.
Sure, you can't force someone to think a certain way. And I don't think you should go around punching people in the face for disagreeing with your moral beliefs, unless they throw hands first.

But I can still damn well think someone's an idiot for having certain viewpoints.
And I can still damn well disassociate from them for that reason, be it thinking women should stay in the kitchen, gays shouldn't marry, or shitting on themselves in public is fun.

You're not forced to be friends with anyone.

[Feelwell]

1 hour ago, Red Lion said:

 I only even exist because of interracial boinking. 

See you're just biased! Have an open mind, gosh.

 

Honestly, I can't really imagine someone just ditching me (or vice versa) if they have a fundamentally different opinion, like hating gays.

I think I know 2 guys who're uncomfortable with them, but they're still pretty good friends.

I guess that's a weird downside/upside to living where I do, in the community I do.

You have to literally look hard to find prejudice. At least obvious ones.

[TrishaCat]

I've never felt the need to dissociate with somebody, but I can understand wanting to do so.  People talking you down and thinking badly of your family because of your race is awful and racist.

For me personally, its hard for me to want to dissociate with someone. Ideally, I'd like to try and be on good terms with as many people in the world as possible. Maybe spend time trying to improve and change someone's worldview over time on something if there's a particular view I find grating or awful so as to bring about a better world rather than abandoning someone for being disgusting. I've had friends whose views made me uncomfortable, but I have so far just ignored those views and tried to change the subject when its brought up. Even if I feel like I should get away from someone, I can't bring myself to do so. I want to find the good parts of people and focus on those.

[FlynnCoyote]

Okay, I'm a pretty staunch atheist and I'd love to see every church, mosque and temple on the planet torn down and turned into bars and hospitals or, you know. Something useful.

That said, some of my closest friends are christian. Half my family is catholic. One of my old workmates was Sikh, a gaming buddy is muslim and I regularly chat with a mormon and a pretty vocal evangelical. This is not just a difference of opinion, this is a fully opposed ideaology between myself and many of the people I associate with. They all know my stance, I know theirs. There's tension at times, but not to the point that we've come to hate each other or stop talking over it. I disowned a friend for backstabbing me through a group of people on dA, but that was an act rather than a belief or opinion. Now I learned pretty early on from these interactions that differing beliefs and opinions are a silly reason to give up on a friendship.

So, I'm going to suggest here that perhaps the problem is less to do with what people believe and more to do with people's level of tolerance towards opposing views. Not saying you're obligated to change your mind, but you could at least pick a better reason for not wanting to be someone's friend if they reach out to you. Like if your personalities don't click, that's the sort of thing that generally makes it hard to get along. Different opinions don't need to define the relationship you have with people. 

[Red Lion]

6 hours ago, FlynnCoyote said:

 

So, I'm going to suggest here that perhaps the problem is less to do with what people believe and more to do with people's level of tolerance towards opposing views. Not saying you're obligated to change your mind, but you could at least pick a better reason for not wanting to be someone's friend if they reach out to you. Like if your personalities don't click, that's the sort of thing that generally makes it hard to get along. Different opinions don't need to define the relationship you have with people. 

TBH vehement disgust for race mixing and the usage of terms like "race traitor" is probably a good indication that our personalities aren't going to click. Anyone who cares that much about race and racial purity isn't someone I see myself clicking with
 

[Strongbob]

When I interact with people like this I just think to myself, 'Wow, so you don't like interracial relationships?  Too bad my anthropomorphic animal mate isn't around, cuz I'd love to see your head explode'. 

[MortimusMaximus]

Honestly I'm with OP and Lemon here. I think tolerance for bullshit is another kind of way of avoiding examining real issues for the sake of saving face. I'm not going to validate or respect someone's shitty point of view, especially if it's grounded in racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. on the grounds of "Everyone is entitled to their opinion."

[Wolflich]

Is that unusual? 'differing opinions' sounds so broad it could apply to quite a lot of what makes people compatible or (in less severe cases) interesting to each other.

[Zeke]

Same here. I've distanced myself from people who've said things like "my boyfriend/girlfriend is into bestiality because they decided to date a black chick", or vice versa. It's disgusting to say or think that way in regards to two people dating or married who happen to have different grades of melanin. 

When they try to back-peddle it as a joke, it makes them both a shit-head and a liar.

 

 

[Guest]

52 minutes ago, Zeke said:

Same here. I've distanced myself from people who've said things like "my boyfriend/girlfriend is into bestiality because they decided to date a black chick", or vice versa. It's disgusting to say or think that way in regards to two people dating or married who happen to have different grades of melanin. 

When they try to back-peddle it as a joke, it makes them both a shit-head and a liar.

 

 

If you're gonna be a racist shithead at least commit to it amirite 

[Tsuujou]

We don't appreciate you...Lemonheads in these parts.

[Zaraphayx]

I feel this way about the poor and liberals so I completely understand OP.

[Zaraphayx]

Just now, Shill Sham said:

I'll generally let some minor things slide such as jokes, generalizations.  There is no reason to get all bent out of shape because someone is either insensitive or uninformed, though anything major I just cut my losses and move on. 

The nice thing being that you can choose your friends, no such luck when it comes to family members.

You can choose who you associate with regardless of genetic affiliation.

In more sane times we got to just straight up kill our parents for being shitheads once we were old enough.

Modernity was a mistake.

[Zaraphayx]

Just now, Shill Sham said:

I can either put up with their ignorance or live on the streets.  I'd rather not join the homeless camps in Indianapolis so the choice is fairly obvious.

You have no idea how pleased it makes me that this is how humans work, even the most deeply held beliefs and principles are subordinate to fear of discomfort.
 

[Zaraphayx]

1 minute ago, Shill Sham said:

K

I'm gay

[Zaraphayx]

3 minutes ago, Shill Sham said:

Aren't we all?

I take it to levels beyond your comprehension. :3c

[FlynnCoyote]

Setting aside a difference of opinion for the sake of a friendship and supporting hate and bigotry are two separate beasts altogether. It's ridiculous that people lump them in the same boat. I've seen people change their tune because of a more positive influence.Again, I'm not saying that it will always happen or that you're obligated to try, but the fact that you seem willing to write them off in a heartbeat shows me you're not the best friend material yourself.

[Nova]

Jesus Christ, People still have such a huge hate against interracial couples.

Thats would be total hate towards my sister , her husband and my unborn niece.

Seriously ignore people who call you SJW  because you dont like their opinion.

Negative racial opinions shouldn't be accepted.

[Gator]

6 hours ago, FlynnCoyote said:

Setting aside a difference of opinion for the sake of a friendship and supporting hate and bigotry are two separate beasts altogether. It's ridiculous that people lump them in the same boat. I've seen people change their tune because of a more positive influence.Again, I'm not saying that it will always happen or that you're obligated to try, but the fact that you seem willing to write them off in a heartbeat shows me you're not the best friend material yourself.

sometimes your "opinions" are a pretty damn good clue to what kind of person you are or what your other views and ideologies are likely to be.  this will tell someone whether you will "click" with them or not.  doesn't make someone a shitty person if they see that you have hateful opinions, directed at them, no less, and decide that you probably wouldn't be a good friend for them.  you say they're not obligated to try to befriend everyone and change their minds and all, but it's heavily implied here that they're being a bad person if they don't feel it's their sovereign duty to give sight to the blind.    we can't all be friends, man.  if i had to choose who was the shitty person not likely to be a good friend, it would probably be the one who believes i have no right to exist over the one who doesn't care to hang out with people who actively dislike them for being what they are.

[FlynnCoyote]

8 hours ago, Gator said:

you say they're not obligated to try to befriend everyone and change their minds and all, but it's heavily implied here that they're being a bad person if they don't feel it's their sovereign duty to give sight to the blind.

What you've inferred is your business, but that's not what I was saying. I'm saying misguided people can change their tune under a positive influence. Not that you're a dick for not trying. It's just that so many will snob the opportunity for far stupider reasons than what you describe. Difference of opinion implies childish squabbles, difference in fundamental ideologies I can understand.

I've seen anti vaxxers, flat earthers and even just average theists change their tune after hanging around the right people for long enough. Genocide promoting racial supremacists probably won't crack so easily, but then I've never tried.