Wanting to vent, but not wanting to be a burden

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

I'm dealing with a lot of stress right now coming from multiple outlets and it truly is destroying me inside. I don't think I've ever felt this lifeless, unmotivated, and depressed all in just one day. Im terrified of the thought of having to repeat this the next day and many days going on.

Usually to help me feel better, I talk to this friend of mine and he always give well thought out advice and can cheer me up. Problem is, I worry Im gonna start being a burden to him and come across as a whiny bitch. He's explained to me many times that I've never been a burden and he wants to help me in anyway he can but my self-esteem has gotten so low that I cant even THINK of venting without cringing over how pathetic Id probably sound. I hate being weak like this. I hate being alone with my thoughts, yet I fear airing them out to anyone

 

[Umbra.Exe]

I hate being alone with my thoughts, yet I fear airing them out to anyone

Are you me?

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

Are you me?

Heh, maybe. Don't know if it's as bad for you as it is for me though

[Red Lion]

Trust me, writing out your feelings and sort it them out in a physically visible way is a pretty good way to make you feel better. And if it's a safe way to make you better you should do it.

People probably aren't going to think badly of you either. I sometimes air out my dirty laundry on the forums just to try and work through some things and I don't think anyone's opinion of me is too terrible. So go ahead, unload, if it makes you feel better then good. I think at the end of the day most of us wish we could talk more freely about our problems.

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

Trust me, writing out your feelings and sort it them out in a physically visible way is a pretty good way to make you feel better. And if it's a safe way to make you better you should do it.

People probably aren't going to think badly of you either. I sometimes air out my dirty laundry on the forums just to try and work through some things and I don't think anyone's opinion of me is too terrible. So go ahead, unload, if it makes you feel better then good. I think at the end of the day most of us wish we could talk more freely about our problems.

Sometimes I worry writing out my problems will be a constant reminder of how fucked up everything is right now. I will write it and then immediately delete so I don't have to see it again.

I don't have the luxury to air out these issues on this forum. It has to be in private with close friends. Though sometimes, I really just don't want to give a fuck and let it all out here. Thing is, my friend told me doing it here will just cause more problems in the long run then fix, so I try my hardest not to act on impulse

[Charrio]

Bah you're not a burden, heck you might be one of the more stable furs here lol.

Also you know you have many friends here if you need to talk, we do care even if all we do is joke or shit post at times.

[Misomie]

Everyone has different ways of coping. For me I prefer letting it out here rather than to people in real life. Others get nothing from strangers and need someone close to them. Some people feel better just writing it down an then shredding it. Do what feels best for you to help avoid stress.

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

Bah you're not a burden, heck you might be one of the more stable furs here lol.

Also you know you have many friends here if you need to talk, we do care even if all we do is joke or shit post at times.

Yay, I'm a stable furry!

And you're right. I'll definitely need to keep that in mind

[Red Lion]

Sometimes I worry writing out my problems will be a constant reminder of how fucked up everything is right now. I will write it and then immediately delete so I don't have to see it again.

I don't have the luxury to air out these issues on this forum. It has to be in private with close friends. Though sometimes, I really just don't want to give a fuck and let it all out here. Thing is, my friend told me doing it here will just cause more problems in the long run then fix, so I try my hardest not to act on impulse

I'm not gonna pry and ask you what your problems are, but carrying all that can't be good for you. Everyone is different but some times when I write things out I can look at how I'm feeling and see things from an angle I hadn't considered. It' s a way to be impartial about myself and take myself outside of my situation. If you can't share your problems on the forum then maybe you can try keeping a journal and sharing it with a trusted confidant, then the two of you can go over things and try to get a handle on how you feel and what to do about it. 

If someone is truly your friend they'll always be willing to help and listen to you. I've never thought any of my friends were burdens or that they were weak and neither should the people you talk to.

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

I'm not gonna pry and ask you what your problems are, but carrying all that can't be good for you. Everyone is different but some times when I write things out I can look at how I'm feeling and see things from an angle I hadn't considered. It' s a way to be impartial about myself and take myself outside of my situation. If you can't share your problems on the forum then maybe you can try keeping a journal and sharing it with a trusted confidant, then the two of you can go over things and try to get a handle on how you feel and what to do about it. 

If someone is truly your friend they'll always be willing to help and listen to you. I've never thought any of my friends were burdens or that they were weak and neither should the people you talk to.

I never really thought of it that way. I guess I could write out my thoughts first and then share it with my friends. Could be more organized and I'd be able to put more thought into it to have a more fruitful conversation

[Red Lion]

I never really thought of it that way. I guess I could write out my thoughts first and then share it with my friends. Could be more organized and I'd be able to put more thought into it to have a more fruitful conversation

I hope it does work and I hope you feel better. 

[Vaer]

I don't think I've ever felt this lifeless, unmotivated, and depressed all in just one day.

Keep breathing my friend...keep breathing.

You're not alone. I just hope you know that.

As one warrior to another:

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

Keep breathing my friend...keep breathing.

You're not alone. I just hope you know that.

As one warrior to another:

You and the other people that have posted in this thread have made me smile and take the weight off my shoulders. Don't know how long that feeling will last, but I'll enjoy it while I have it. I really thank you guys for that.

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

Dammit, I think im losing it again

[Charrio]

Dammit, I think im losing it again

*hugs tight*

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

*hugs tight*

*hugs back tight* i need to sleep this off if i could just fall asleep

[Zeitzbach]

Make the rant comedic or you're not getting a listener.

[Guest]

I feel ya Dev

[Dr. Doggo]

If you worry about coming accross as whiny, it might help to not write it in a fit of emotion and phrase it as a series of questions asking for advice and perspective on a particular issue that's bothering you.

[Kinharia]

I know exactly how you feel, I too am weighed down by multiple factors and don't want to vent out because of being a burden.

[Kaedal]

I know how this feels. I try to avoid venting too much, because I only end up feeling like a whiny bastard(even though I encourage people to vent to me, but that's totally different). I also very much dislike venting openly, because that's like... The same, but amplified by how many people see it. So I just end up bottling shit up with predictable results.

[Sarcastic Coffeecup]

You could just go to /b/, vent there and turn off the browser in case "ur a faget" posts get to you. Usually vent posts get okay-ish and decent attention if it's in a feels thread.

Anonymous venting is great.

[Luka]

I also refrain myself from complaining for that very reason. It's a bad thing, I guess.

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

You could just go to /b/, vent there and turn off the browser in case "ur a faget" posts get to you. Usually vent posts get okay-ish and decent attention if it's in a feels thread.

Anonymous venting is great.

think I may try that out. "Ur a faget" posts dont get to me at all

[Dr. Doggo]

think I may try that out. "Ur a faget" posts dont get to me at all

Ur a faget

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

Ur a faget

owws

[Troj]

Ideally, we all need at least one person in our life who is willing to listen to our grants and gripes, and who feels safe ranting and griping to us in return.

Otherwise, I totally get not wanting to bore, disgust, or burden people with drama or ranting. I'll usually keep track of how much I've complained or whined about a particular issue to someone, and try to gauge whether I may be reaching my "bitch limit" with them.

Worrying that I've complained about a particular problem too often or too much sometimes forces me to rethink my whole attitude and/or approach to that problem, because it makes me realize that I'm caught in a vicious cycle. 

[MissFleece]

If you want a vent buddy skype me! Now that I don't have my ex-roommate up my ass I can start talking to people again. We can complain to each other :DDDD 

[Guest]

Ur a faget

OWWWWWWWWWWWWW DEV GOT TOLD!!!!!!111!!!!111!!1!!1!!!11!!1

[Vaer]

:v

 

On a serious note, I hope you're doing better today Dev.

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

:v

 

On a serious note, I hope you're doing better today Dev.

Lol!

Yeah, I am feeling a bit better. Movie night definitely helped

[Vaer]

Lol!

Yeah, I am feeling a bit better. Movie night definitely helped

GOOD! I'm glad to hear it.

Keep strong in your battle my friend. We can't lose the war no matter how perilous it is.

 

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

GOOD! I'm glad to hear it.

Keep strong in your battle my friend. We can't lose the war no matter how perilous it is.

 

Will do! There's still some fight in me. I know it

[Vallium]

Devvy!!! My condolences as well! I have no idea whats going on in your life but hoping youre doing stable, buddy.

As for me, I know exactly the feeling. I feel like I can be awfully whiny at times, part of me loves seeking out the attention and having people notice my plights, the other hates to come off as angsty and troubled to my friends.

My problems usually end up coming to light in random forum posts, the occassional thread, on group chats, and occassionally the small talk in PM.

I do like writing the occassional thread because it allows me to organize the cyclical thoughts of everything that bugs me into an organized, legible, permanent format. (However, I will never do this again outside a safe space, writing a detailed analysis of your perceptions and having the wrong hands read them is soul crushing, some people dont respect privacy...guess some people dont feel you are entitled to privacy and feel they must own your thoughts and radically change their perceived wrongness out of them. TL;DR mini vent ignore parentheses) But yes, I really love writing, it reflects everything I could ever want to say in person but am mentally incapable of because the communication channel between mind and mouth is broken.

So yes, I make threads sometimes. I dont like being weighted down with woes though so I'll occassionally make the Mr. Brightside thread, the deep and thoughtful thread, the rave thread. With friends I try to keep a balance in my emotions and have other topics in mind to discuss, maybe briefly mention my true feeling but downplay them, and focus on the good in life and discuss that!

 

TL;DR Broaden your outlets, find more people willing to listen, find a way to hold yourself up somehow. I can say personally I would not judge the occassional sad post from you given your community reputation as an interesting, kind, and talented individual. Best wishes and best with life, dude ^ __ ^

 

 

Edited November 9, 2015 by WolfNightV4X1

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

Devvy!!! My condolences as well! I have no idea whats going on in your life but hoping youre doing stable, buddy.

As for me, I know exactly the feeling. I feel like I can be awfully whiny at times, part of me loves seeking out the attention and having people notice my plights, the other hates to come off as angsty and troubled to my friends.

My problems usually end up coming to light in random forum posts, the occassional thread, on group chats, and occassionally the small talk in PM.

I do like writing the occassional thread because it allows me to organize the cyclical thoughts of everything that bugs me into an organized, legible, permanent format. (However, I will never do this again outside a safe space, writing a detailed analysis of your perceptions and having the wrong hands read them is soul crushing, some people dont respect privacy...guess some people dont feel you are entitled to privacy and feel they must own your thoughts and radically change their perceived wrongness out of them. TL;DR mini vent ignore parentheses) But yes, I really love writing, it reflects everything I could ever want to say in person but am mentally incapable of because the communication channel between mind and mouth is broken.

So yes, I make threads sometimes. I dont like being weighted down with woes though so I'll occassionally make the Mr. Brightside thread, the deep and thoughtful thread, the rave thread. With friends I try to keep a balance in my emotions and have other topics in mind to discuss, maybe briefly mention my true feeling but downplay them, and focus on the good in life and discuss that!

 

TL;DR Broaden your outlets, find more people willing to listen, find a way to hold yourself up somehow. I can say personally I would not judge the occassional sad post from you given your community reputation as an interesting, kind, and talented individual. Best wishes and best with life, dude ^ __ ^

 

 

You hit it in right on the nail as to why its tough making threads in public. You know there are good people around but you can't shake the feeling that one person is gonna be the dick and that one person will effect you the most. Even then, I guess I still found some courage to make this thread, so maybe I just don't care about the one person. I won't let that one person be a constant cloud over me. 

Writing is about the only thing I can do to organize my thoughts and make them sound more...intelligent than they originally sound in my mind. That feeling of writing something out thats on your mind in a chat to a friend and pressing that "Enter" button really is like taking a small weight off your shoulders and when they come back at you with some knowledge that you can use, it makes you feel even better.

D'awww, thank you! That is such a good thing to hear, you have no idea. When you've spent the last few days wondering your own worth and then read posts like that, it provides a very well needed second opinion. I get tired of hearing my own put down thoughts, rather hear pick me ups for a change Aafter making this thread, I can say that I don't feel that afraid to vent anymore. I may be a little nervous, but dammit, I've spent so much of my life wearing a mask and hiding my true feelings to people and that fucked me up for a long time. I'm not about to repeat that same thing online.