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How to be less annoying with Asperger's


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Hello, Internet! Today I have another list for you. I love lists!

I've gotten some messages lately from people who feel like they're not being heard in various chat rooms in which I reside. They feel like they're not part of the group, and that people don't respond to or like them. This is most disturbing to me, as I want everyone to just get along.

Today's list will help you Aspergarians be less annoying to others on Internet chats!

1. Don't treat a conversation like your personal Twitter feed.

All of a sudden, you have a thought! Maybe you're thinking something inane. Maybe you're thinking about an intense interest of yours. "Did you know that the swastika is an ancient religious symbol? It derives from the Sanskrit name for a hooked cross, which was used by ancient civilizations as a symbol of fertility and good fortune. It has been found in the ruins of Greece, Egypt, China, India, and Hindu temples."

You will then proceed to type at least 10-15 uninterrupted lines about this topic without checking in with the other person. You will not respond to what they have to say, as it interrupts your flow! If they try to segue into another topic, related or not, you will immediately shift it back to your original thought.

Doing this is talking at the person, not with them. Before posting, ask yourself, "is this going to be interesting, relevant, or significant to the other person? Are they going to have anything to say about this?" If not, you're just using them as a sounding board for your own internal monologue, and reducing them to a conversational object.

2. Don't immediately change the topic when you log in.

When you first sign into the chat, please, please go back and read the previous comments! Everyone will appreciate this. Why? Because there is a conversational thread with its own organic pacing that continues from before you were there. Logging in and saying what's immediately on your mind will break the flow of this, and people will be unsure whether to reply to you or to continue along the current topic.

If you want to introduce a new topic, wait until you can segue into it, when the current topic seems exhausted, or when there is a lull in the chat.

3. Don't "snipe" with comments then not respond to them.

One problem with Asperger's is "non-reciprocal communication." That is, Aspergarian communication tends to be one-sided. We express what we want to say, and then we're done. The problem with this is that people will spend the time reading your message, formulating a response, and then waiting for you to return. Please say "thank you" or respond to what they have to say, or else you'll leave an awkward silence in your wake.

This counts doubly for posting links with no commentary. And triply for posting videos, I swear to god, I just watched the whole thing and now you're gone, ugh.

4. Respond to the point of what people say, not the details.

With Asperger's, it's common to want to respond to the details of a comment. Especially if those details a.) relate to an interest of yours, or b.) are factually wrong. To the Aspergarian, the content of the sentence is all that matters. If you're responding to what they said, it's all good, right?!

Incorrect. Every speaker has a topic phrase in their communication, much like the beginning of a school paper. Before responding, determine what they're looking for. Are they looking for advice? Do they want to be validated? Do they just need to vent? Are they sharing a fun fact? Are they trying to get into a discussion? As hard as it is, try to ignore extraneous information to their point.

Question 1: "I'm having a hard time with school. I'm only getting a 75 so far in Biology... :("

What might you say in response to this? Please choose the most correct answer.

A.) "How far along are you in the class? Can you still bring it up?"
         INCORRECT. The speaker is looking for support. This is not information that you need to provide support. This response is looking for more information than is needed.
B.) "Don't worry about it! Grades aren't that important anyways, as long as you feel like you're learning."
          INCORRECT. While you're providing the speaker with support, you are also offering unsolicited advice. The speaker clearly cares about his grades, and is not looking to be dissuaded from that.
C.) "Yeah, I'm having a hard time too. It's been a tough semester."
          INCORRECT. Commiserating with the speaker is not a bad thing, but do not turn it into your issue. Doing so directs the conversation away from the speaker's issue.
D.) "I'm sorry to hear that. What's going on, are you going to be alright?"
          CORRECT. The speaker is looking for support, and you are providing direct support. This response requests that the speaker continue to share whatever is on his mind with you.


I am very smart and good at people, so please take this advice as law. Thank you.

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The answer to number 4 is incorrect.
The only correct response in this situation is to post Ludwig, thereby instantly cheering up the distraught user and alleviating them of their trivial concerns.

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19 hours ago, Rabbit Head said:

I thought this was pretty interesting and helpful as a sperg, but everybody in the thread is saying that it's bait. What do I do.

You take it as information and ignore the point, duh :V

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