Snagged Posted July 9, 2016 Share Posted July 9, 2016 Granted. You become physically stronger but mentally dumber I wish I had a traditional steel lock with a key to it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted July 9, 2016 Share Posted July 9, 2016 Granted! Unfortunately, it's attached to a steel chastity belt that you're locked into, and the key falls down a sewer grating. A somewhat embarrassing trip to the emergency room follows. I wish I commanded a huge army of fursuiters, armed with Nerf guns, squirt guns and silly string, and we invaded Rhode Island. (It's small, should be easy to take!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted July 11, 2016 Share Posted July 11, 2016 Granted. The national guard responds to your invasion with M249 SAWs, M40's, tear gas and Apache helicopters. Don't bring a nerf gun to a bazooka fight. I wish I had a kickass steampunk costume and a real train to ride around in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted July 12, 2016 Share Posted July 12, 2016 Granted, the train explodes shorty after taking off killing everyone and yet somehow you miraculously survive only to be arrested for the damage to the national rail line and also the deaths of those poor, poor, millionaires. I wish I would at least get a response from the companies I apply to work for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted July 12, 2016 Share Posted July 12, 2016 Granted. A company responds and you get a job, not the one you applied for. You will now test cosmetics and medical procedures. I wish I could eat all the spicy food I wanted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted July 12, 2016 Share Posted July 12, 2016 Granted! But it causes such horrible bloating, you look like some most extreme of the 'inflation' artwork one sees in the furry fandom. And the gas. I'm not even going to begin on the gas.... I wish the only video game console in the world was the Atari 2600. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted July 12, 2016 Share Posted July 12, 2016 Granted. The only game for it is E.T. I wish for the next person to be happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snagged Posted July 12, 2016 Share Posted July 12, 2016 Granted. All your happiness pours into me and I absorb it with delight but now... none else is happy I wish someone other than me would gouge their eye out in hopes of finding a key only to find nothing (my mind is twisted, I know) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted July 13, 2016 Share Posted July 13, 2016 Granted. When they don't find it behind their own eye they start gouging out everyone's eyes looking for the one with the key behind it, and you're first in line. Also the makers of Saw sue you for copyright infringement. I wish my neck wasn't so stiff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted July 13, 2016 Share Posted July 13, 2016 Granted. Your right leg begins to stiffen up. I wish I had more smarts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luccus Posted July 13, 2016 Share Posted July 13, 2016 Granted, Mercedes ships 20 smart cars to you. They are all rusty and smell like old people and your friends think you are stupid now. I wish more people (especially males) would like red-blue mix colors like purple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted July 13, 2016 Share Posted July 13, 2016 Granted. Purple (violet) and similar colors becomes the only color everyone likes. All other colors are banned and use of them will send you to a "rehabilitation" camp. I wish for a limitless sustainable power source that is compact and safe to use. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted July 13, 2016 Share Posted July 13, 2016 Granted! You are assassinated by ex-KGB hitmen for massively devaluing Russia's major exports. I wish someone would take Da Mental out of Fundamentalists. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Granted! Now the world is filled with Funists, whose idea of fun is putting pretty leashes and harnesses on bats, and walking about with them flapping their little wings, so as not to be dragged about. I wish I had tickets to go see Die Antwoord, in DC. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Granted. They get deported back to South Africa for being thought of as racists before performing. I wish I had cinnamon ice cream. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Granted, but it's ice-cream flavoured cinnamon rather than cinnamon flavoured ice-cream. I wish that England had a foreign affairs minister that truly typified our great nation... OH SHIT. Ok, ok, I take that one back. I wish I could emigrate. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Granted, you emigrate to the US, where Donald Trump seizes power as Dictator, and appoints Boris Johnson Minister of Bats and Winged Creatures. (These two fellows almost look a bit alike. Peas in a pod, I'd say) I wish I could shake my booty like James Brown! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Granted. You are now James Brown and dead. I wish I had a robot friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Granted, your closest friend is lobotomized and made to be emotionally dead, prone to highly repetitive actions and utterly dependant upon explicit instructions from others for every single action. I wish for a large fox statue composed entirely of amber. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyRadarEars Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Granted, but it was made mostly of amber with fossilized insects inside of it, and one of them comes out of hibernation, escapes the statue, and eats all of the plant-based products of your home in a single night. I wish I could make fennec foxes appear out of thin air in order to throw them at people. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Granted. You have no control on how many fennec foxes spawn and they don't like being thrown at people. When you do throw them they turn around and attack you. I wish for ice cream, no! Sorbet! Good sorbet, edible sorbet. For me and all of the people on the forums. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Granted! Unfortunately the Sorbet gets stolen by a thug and his gang of twats armed with knives. I wish for Aliens to visit Earth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrDingo Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Granted! But they're invisible, only you can hear them, and nobody believes you I wish I could be a wizard like Harry Potter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Granted. You are Harry Potter, 80 years later, and homeless. Your brittle, old wands break, your glasses are the wrong prescription, and you are always misplacing them; you make grammatical errors and forget the words of various spells, with disastrous outcomes; your magical coins are accidentally lost in vending machines; your magic stones are misplaced, and used as gravel to pave roads; your cloaks are eaten away by moths; swords rust away, mirrors cloud and crack, orbs are dropped and shatter. Newer, younger Wizards toss you scraps of bread, and few can even recall your name. (Sorry, in a dark mood, I guess!) I wish life was more stable, with fewer things going wrong all the time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 Granted, now it is boring. I wish for air conditioning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caledonian Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 Granted, it is not working I wish my job was closer to my home Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snagged Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 1 hour ago, Caledonian said: Granted, it is not working I wish my job was closer to my home Granted. There is a huge wall (no gates nearby) between your home and your working place so you have to go around it... All while you could accurately throw a rock right to the window of your work place from your home. Ironic I wish that ominous black hole would dissipate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 Granted. It already is. Given the size of it, it'll take a bazillion years to manage it, but it's made a start! The black hole at the centre of OUR galaxy however goes into overdrive. I wish for rich bluish-purple skin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frig Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 Granted, and you get a nice toe tag to go with it. Here is a list of the things I like this list is a list of the things I like. I wish for a painting of a pony and a VCR. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 Granted! Unfortunately, it's an indoor pony, and pees and craps everywhere, and especially on the VCR, which causes it to short out, and stop working. I wish I was eating some nice, tender fried rabbit! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 Granted! You just ate Judy Hopps. You monster. I wish I could corrupt more wishes! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Granted! But that's all you ever get to do on the internet, for all eternity... I wish it would never go above 80 degrees f, or below 20 degrees f here; 100 is way too hot! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frig Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Granted, you just get tornados everyday. I wish for some make up that'll make me a star. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Granted! You're permanently covered in clown make-up and that crazy red hair, as Bozo the Clown makes his triumphant come-back to fame. I wish I had a water-park in my back yard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Granted, the screaming children who come to visit it keep you up all night, every night. Also your water bill is immense. I wish for Riff Raff's space costume from the end of the Rocky Horror Show. And for it to fit me. And if you throw in a sexy Magenta too that'd be nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted July 24, 2016 Share Posted July 24, 2016 Granted! But as you and a very sexy Magenta lock your lips in a kiss, lightning strikes the metallic outfits, reducing you to a pile of ash. I wish that I was off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frig Posted July 24, 2016 Share Posted July 24, 2016 Granted..he ends up being a rapist/serial killer off Craigslist and your dumped in the trash. I wish I had some shrimp and white wine. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted July 24, 2016 Share Posted July 24, 2016 Granted, you get food poisoning and consume ammonia in the wine causing a very painful trip to the hospital. I wish my eyesight would improve so I wouldn't need glasses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted July 24, 2016 Share Posted July 24, 2016 Granted, your eyes improve so much you can see every microbe in your field of vision. You are horribly disgusted forever. I wish I could look and feel 27 forever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 Granted! But you look and feel as a 27 year who decided to cover themselves in a full-body tattoo the color of a smurf, and has had cosmetic surgery so as to resemble Papa Smurf as closely as possible, because in his heart, he believes he is Papa Smurf. You spend your years looking for other Smurf otherkin. I wish I had a pet anteater, to get rid of the ant problem we have here. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hewge Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 Granted, but now the anteater is your problem. I wish for a beefy bara boyfriend Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 Granted, he's so beefy that he's a complete meat-head, utterly incapable of living independently or procuring a meaningful income. This greatly strains your relationship, leaving you jaded and unsatisfied. I wish for a job I enjoy and am interested in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lopaw Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 Granted, but the place where you have said job burns down in mysterious circumstances thus leaving you with no job. I wish I had a room full of eclairs and coffee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frig Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 Granted but you catch the diabetes. I wish The death count was slightly lower on the roller coasters around here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 Granted, there are few deaths and more permanent comas or dismemberments. I wish life had better documentation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 Granted, your neighbour's, cousin's, uncles, stepfathers, sons dog eats them. I wish for a GWAR world tour that comes to Ireland. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osrik Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 Granted, but every show sells out before you can get tickets, and the band permanently disbands over disputes on said would tour. I wish Bethesda would announce the next Elder Scrolls game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 Granted, they announce a sequel to their MMO with revised mechanics to make it more like the original Everquest. I wish I nice, fluffy tail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 Granted! You have a wonderfully fluffy tail from your favorite animal. You killed it to get the tail. You sick son of a- I wish I didn't have to do dishes after cooking. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fennecbyte Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 Granted. Every time you finish eating, you throw your dishes out the window and buy new ones in the morning. Unfortunately, you live on the 8th floor and kill someone with a ceramic dish to the face. I wish I could go 2 days into the future. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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