Zop Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Granted. You climb mount everest, but do not make it back down. I wish for a magical freezer which has an unlimited supply of hot pockets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Granted. You know exactly how, you're just physically incapable of doing it. I wish for a three month long paid holiday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snagged Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Granted. It's on Antarctica. Happy Holidays! I wish I could never get bored of a taste that I love 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zop Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Granted but I get to choose a taste you will love. I wish Snagged Cub never got bored of the taste of homeless people. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Granted, but you're homeless now. I wish I were a quicker and better programmer. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Granted, but the only language this affects is Intercal. I wish I could make trees and shrubs grow at astonishing rate at will. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vae Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Granted, but the trees and shrubs you can control only grow out from under your own flesh, so it's excruciatingly painful. I wish I could draw exactly what I wanted, as I wanted, as I pictured it in my head. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zop Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Granted, you can draw all of your unmet inner wants and desires. The drawings serve as a constant reminder of what you want but cannot have. I wish for at-will invisibility. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Granted! Sadly you cannot control when you become visible again, and you can never reappear when you want to - it's always at the most inconvenient moment, such as when in the middle of an all-female bodybuilder's nudist pageant. I wish to discover a new species of insect and have it named after me. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Granted! Deep in the jungles of Laos, you discover a brightly colored wasp, that has never been seen before. It stings you, but instead of hurting, it makes you laugh. And laugh, and laugh. In fact, you can't stop laughing, even to eat or drink, and before you can be placed on an IV in time, you die. The team of scientists you were traveling with name it after you, in your memory. I wish that all the buildings in the world, from the smallest house to the tallest skyscrapers, were now made of the same material bounce-houses are, and, in effect, function as such. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zop Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 Granted. The taller buildings are incredibly unstable and fall over, killing millions. All the buildings degrade quickly, as they are easily punctured and become worn when exposed the elements. I wish for a rotten grapefruit filled with maggots. Someone mentioned it in the Death match thread and it sounds tasty to a coyote such as myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 Granted. You are wrong. It is not tasty to a coyote such as yourself, it is vile and somehow gives you the mange. I wish for good things to happen to me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 Granted, good things come to those who wait and so you are showered with good things from well-meaning people on your deathbed at 93. I wish every time anybody touched a nose, it would make a horn-honking noise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lopaw Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 Granted, as a bonus the sound changes with each boop, however each flu season you can't hear anything over the various car, train and Dixie horn sounds. I wish angry birds 2 wasn't nearly as rigged as it is and had the stupid life system removed so I don't have to cheat by changing the time on my phone. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 Tricky one. Getting EA to change their pricing policy is like getting blood out of a stone. And I'd know. Granted. Now Angry Birds costs a flat fee of $50 instead. I wish Beacons technology was actually reliable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zop Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 Granted. Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing is now bug-free. I wish to be leader of my own country where everyone is forced to love me even if I am a horrible leader. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shiro Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 Granted, but eventually, the people revolt after creating a large resistance group and storm your residence, overthrowing you in the process, and usurping your leadership. I wish I could alter my perception of time at will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 Granted, you get lost to the void. I wish for a computer that can play Crisis 3 at max settings at 144hz at 300fps because yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zop Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 Granted, but only on a 1 inch by 1 inch screen. I wish I did not have a cold. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Granted. Instead, you're in a full body cast, with dozens of broken bones, tended to by a team of top Fossa-Physicians. You may emerge from this with a much longer tail, as it was hard to determine your species at the time of your accident, but you have no fever, your digestion is great, and you have no cold. I wish the entire world was covered was covered in huge, tall, trees, in which I could build amazing tree forts for me and my friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lopaw Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 Granted, but because fossas don't have opposable thumbs you can't hold any kind of carpenty tool. I wish all servers running windows server and especially any still running Novell Netware and it's stupid IPX/SPX protocols (They are special snowflake equivalents to TCP/IP) get their OS changed to some form of Linux. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snagged Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 Granted but they all are a buggy mess. Oh wait, this was a corrupted wish, not reality wish? I wish for a miracle alarm clock that can wake up anyone at anyone time 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 Granted, however since there's no such thing as 'Anyone Time' they just don't work at all. I wish I wasn't such a grammar nazi sometimes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fennecbyte Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 Granted. U start wraitin laik dis nau end naubadi undurstends u n u gt dipresed nd staf. I wish I had more free time that isn't coupled to procrastinating and feeling depressed. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 Granted! You have a great deal more free time, but now it's coupled to feeling anxious and agitated, with occasional hallucinations. I wish my teeth and claws were as hard as diamonds, so I could climb any surface, and bite through any substance, and become Super Fossa! (And also, be able to fly, and jump as far as I wanted, and have super-vision, hearing and olfactory abilities. And have my own comic book, and movies, that everybody loved, and bought, that also made me rich) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zop Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 Granted. You have a coyote nemesis who crashes all your parties, eats your fans, and leaves fake poor reviews of your merchandise. I wish I could take whatever I wanted from any vending machine, without charge. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fennecbyte Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 Granted. It's called stealing. You get arrested every time you do it. I wish my processor had more parallel threads. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 Granted, the genie dresses your CPU in a pinstriped suit and asks if you can dig it, before jitterbugging back into his lamp. I wish I were better at rigging my models. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Granted! All your photographs of people are now 100% better provided you take them on an oil drilling platform. I wish for a virtual reality system that doesn't make me feel sick. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Granted! But once you put in on, you can't take the glasses off, and are dragged into the world of the worst reality TV shows ever produced, including Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, 19 Kids and Counting, and are forever stuck in this virtual reality world. I wish I could become invisible by blinking my eyes, like the legends in Madagascar say about the secret powers of the fossa. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zop Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Granted, but since you subconsciously blink several times per minute, you constantly turn your invisibility on and off without realizing it. I wish for a ray gun that turns people and objects into bacon. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gator Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 granted but the inevitable soon happens and now you are bacon i wish for some chocolate mousse. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lopaw Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Granted, but it hasn't set properly so it is like water. I wish I could learn enough java in a month to be able to add lots more locomotives to the railcraft mod and run tiny cubic deltics on my minecraft railway. All without any NPEs happening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fennecbyte Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Granted. The code you write uses more RAM than the largest supercomputer on Earth can provide. I wish my CPU didn't have a charred pinstripe suit and instead had more cores. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 Granted. They're apple cores, and not the good kind of Apple. Your computer doesn't work so well any more, and also smells like a bad cider brewery. I wish for a groovy new digital SLR camera with which to take photos of all my furry friends. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 Granted! But the camera is so 'groovy', that no matter what, it always makes the pictures you take come out in the style of 1970s Scooby-Do cartoons. Who can say why? But they are very clear, with attention to balance and composition. I wish hundreds of meddlesome kids in fursuits would riot in the streets, hurling rocks at the whitehouse, with high powered slingshots. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 Waaaaaaaa-ohh! Dig that crazy photograph, man! It's wild, daddy-oh! (Skip me) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fennecbyte Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 Granted, but you are now the president and the military is staging a coup. I wish I had a teaspoon of black hole at my disposal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 Granted. Due to the mathematics of singularity, a point of immense mass but no actual dimensions, the entire substance of a black hole fits in a teaspoon. What we 'see' is mostly just visual distortions caused by their peculiar properties. Everything around your teaspoon to a distance of several light seconds gets swallowed up by the event horizon and squished by immense gravity. Congratulations, you have destroyed the world! I wish.. er... for another world, please! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lopaw Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 Granted, you make a new world order fund to save up and buy a new world. Unfortunately lots of tinfoil hats find you and put a end to you and your plans. I wish I could read my engineering assignments before they get officially started so I can give my class the answers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 Granted, your classmates learn nothing and are hopelessly lost without you next year. I wish we had a real winter this year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 Granted. Velcome to Siberia, Komrade Gravitas! I wish for a pet artist who will draw whatever I ask for with consummate skill at no cost. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 Granted. But they are not housebroken, and your house is soon filled with such a foul stench, that you must flee. I wish I had some pills that would make me hyper-active and unruly. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 granted! but you must choose between the blue pill and the red pill! i really wish i hadn't left my furry novel in the back of that yellow cab... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 Granted! But unbeknownst to you the cab driver was a Furry too and you miss out on making a new friend. I wish for a big bag of yummy blood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 Granted! But it's tainted by a virulent strain of bat leprosy, and your wings fall off days later, as you are swooping down on your prey. I wish trees all had different friendly, fun-loving personalities, and could talk, and were also indestructible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fennecbyte Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Granted. Their definition of fun is synonymous with murder. Soon, the Earth is nicknamed "The Uninhabitable Murderous Tree Hellhole." I wish Microsoft would stop implementing things Linux has had for years into their own proprietary bullshit that's incompatible with everything. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lopaw Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Granted, all the network admins and computer security types go on strike because support for Powershell has been dropped and they won't touch BASH or other Linux command line/ terminal stuff. The result of this being that nobody can buy anything online or login to work PCs so the economy tanks, everyone still gets their wages though as banks using ancient IBM system/360s running programs made from COBOL still work. I wish I could turn airfix models into full size working replicas so I could get lots of WW2 planes and 60s Cold War era V bombers (without nukes) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Granted. But the government takes note, and seizes the planes, and locks you away, thinking you're plotting to overthrow them. I wish all furries bounced 5 feet in the air, with each step they took. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lopaw Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Granted, almost all the fandom dies from brain hemorrhages brought on by taking a step indoors, going 5 feet upward and subsequently smacking their heads into the ceiling. I wish all the flash submissions to FA would get converted from .swf to .mp4 files and get put in HTML 5 <video> tags. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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