Wish Corruptor

[Fossa]

Granted! But every-time you turn back to a human, you're naked, because you're much to large human clothes have been abandoned someplace that you can't recall, as you were having so much fun as a weasel.

I wish I was laying on a branch in my Fossa tree, reading a book of Fossa Philosophy.

 

 

[Data]

Granted, but you have to read the book in skeletor's voice, and it progressively gets louder the longer you read it.

I wish i had better that all of my future wishes, have a good outcome.

[Faust]

8 hours ago, Aeon said:

I wish i had better that all of my future wishes, have a good outcome.

Granted. However you only get one wish, and you just wasted it.

I wish I could create insects at will, both existing and brand new species.

[Fossa]

Granted, but you're not very good at it. Most of your attempts end up creating new species of very large stinging wasps, many of which are nocturnal, and especially drawn to bats; others are insects that secrete a sticky mucus over the surfaces of bat-caves, making if hard to roost, while also emitting noxious odors.

I wish they would remake all the Batman moves, using an actual bat, and a narrator to do the voice, as one, long 10 hour hybrid action/adventure/nature documentary, that would go on to win the highest wards the film world has to offer.

[Data]

Granted! but it becomes so successful that it is repetitively played as a form of torture by the Military of your country, and its characters become icons for a fascist dictatorship, sure hope the joker wins on this one....

I wish that i could change into my fursona irl at will!

[DrGravitas]

Granted, changing back requires paying a $500 fee.

I wish I were an origami master.

[Fossa]

Granted! But you are suddenly beamed by aliens to a world of rock, steel and glass, and where all data is stored on computers, and nothing even close to paper exists. Even fabric is nonexistent, and everyone goes about nekkid. Quite simply, there is (almost) nothing to fold, and you are stuck using your own tail, ears and other parts, with painful results.

I wish all fox furries decided that skunks smelled lovely, and I was the owner of a successful soap and beauty supply company, that made skunk scented black and white bath bars, as well as shampoos, conditioners, lotions, aftershaves and other beauty products. 

 

[Faust]

Granted! You, however, are not a fox and are forced to live and work in a town that is utterly permeated by the smell of skunk, thanks to your immense cosmetics factory. Soon the only people willing to live anywhere near you are foxes and skunks. No bouncy, happy fossa friends for the smelly stink-maker of skunksville.

Also you get constant hate-mail from the Lorax.

I wish I was 'the Cat in the Hat' from Doctor Seuss' book of the same name, with carte blanche to wreck people's houses and a machine to clean up afterwards,

[Fossa]

(Little did you know, my alt. fursona is a skunk! I'll miss my fossa-friends, though, and that part about the Lorax...ouch!)

Granted! But kids just are not the same today. They have grown up indoctrinated to think the world is dangerous and paranoid by over-protective parents, who think the sky is always falling. As you try to wreck various houses, instead of being enamored by your antics, kids pull your tail, hurl rocks, and immediately call the police about the evil stranger from their cell phones, before you have a chance to clean up. You are also caught on camera. Alarms sound; news agencies go wild; talk show hosts babble, websites fuel the flames and cash registers tick away...Suess's books are later banned as 'bad examples' for children, and, as gumming up the wheels of fear-driven consumerism, and burned en masse. 

I wish that all of the sudden, every smartphone, cell phone, tablet, and laptop would emit copious quantities of laughing gas, causing everyone to be so happy and laugh so hard that they doubled over and peed their pants (if any), and afterwards, all of these devices would disappear, and there would be no memory that they had ever existed.

 

 

 

[Lopaw]

Granted, but because the devices mentioned have gone along with all the data on them a mass panic occurs and the world briefly falls into chaos until everyone gets new devices.

I wish I could have a pet weasel or two.

[Fossa]

Granted, but they are both rabid, and are robotically enhanced with diamond-sharp, titanium teeth, and destroy everything you own, before turning their sights on you...time to invest in some running shoes!

I wish at a certain time, every ATM across the world would spit out all its cash, resulting in free money for a lot of people, and also...mass chaos!

[Data]

Granted! but the money incident of 2019 goes down in history as the reason why we all have to wear an apple quickpay chip embedded in our wrist at all times

i wish i had money to waste on commissions. for reasons

[Faust]

Granted. The reasons are so that you can illustrate the order of service for your furry-themed funeral, following your rapidly-approaching death.

I wish for super-dramatic clouds to photograph

[Fossa]

Granted! But they always say, "Surrender Dorothy' in the foreground, and you quickly become cliched as a photographer in the art world, not to mention, bitter at all those witches who messed up perfectly good photos.

I wish I owned a success coconut grove, and that none of them ever fell from the trees, and hit me.

 

[Lopaw]

Granted, but they refuse to come off the trees except when it suits them.

I wish I could go back in time to east Germany around 1984 for the sole purpose of getting a full datasheet for the transistor that has been annoying me with the shear lack of info needed to use it somewhere without accidentally killing it.

I'm also going to get the NPN complement for it whist there and a trabant.

[Faust]

Granted! I'll send you back a bit further to make sure you don't miss the date - I hope 1942 is convenient!

I wish for a remote controlled robot slave that I can use to secretly commit dastardly crimes!
(Yes, I know 'robot slave' is a tautology!)

[Snagged]

Granted. Unfortunately you forgot to scrape off the serial number so when your robot inevitably gets caught, the detectives track the ownership and responsibility of the robot to you. 

I wish for absolutely nothing... in a barrel

[Fossa]

Granted, but the barrel is made of solid steel, weighs 2 tons, and is rolled down a hill, flattening you.

I wish everybody went through one year, at age 12, where they turned into Tigger the Tiger, before becoming human again, as a rite of passage.

[Shiro]

Granted, but halfway through the tigger year, you go feral and attack anything on sight.

I wish I could move somewhere less crowded.

 

[Faust]

Granted! Welcome to Mars, population: You and Matt Damon.

I wish tarantulas were friendly, cuddly and cute.

[Lopaw]

Granted, but now you find them too cute to bear looking at lest your heart turn to goo.

I wish I had a silicon magic wand that lets me change the polarity of transistors so I don't have to wander online trying to find complementary pairs of the things.

[Fossa]

Granted! But the silicon magic wand is very floppy and flexible, and also, very heavy, and smashes most of the transistors you try to change. It also looks rather suspicious.

I wish I had a cute, Red Panda to sleep and cuddle with, on my Fossa branch.

[Lopaw]

Granted. But the red panda is so heavy that when both of you go to sleep on your branch it bends and breaks. Now you have to find a new one.

I wish I could give my often moody weasel fursona a hug.

[Faust]

Granted, but he's so moody he bites you. You get tetanus.

I wish I could win Wildlife Photographer of the Year.

[Snagged]

Granted. It is awarded post mortem as you die from an infection caused by an alligator chopping off your right arm. 

I wish for a faster bureaucracy 

[Faust]

Granted. They can now cock up the economy ten times as fast as they did previously.

I wish for a lovely church belfry to live in.

[Lopaw]

Granted, you quickly go deaf and suffer constant nosebleeds due to all the bells being rung every hour.

I wish I could change one electrical component into another by removing the model number and adding different one.

[Feelwell]

Granted, but not only are these new electrical components shoddily made, but their number models are all written in super small roman numerals.

 

I wish, I wish, oh how I wish, 

for easier mornings, and tastier fish.

[Fossa]

Granted! Your mornings are so easy that all that's demanded of you is that you eat fish, which are indeed tasty. So tasty, that you can't stop eating them, and gradually gain 500 pounds, and they have to knock a hole in the wall, to get you out, where you are then subject to being featured on various reality and talk shows.

I wish I had a sassy lemur, to wrestle with, who put up a good fight.

[Lopaw]

Granted, you fight for some time but eventually your instincts kick in and you end up killing your lemur opponent.

I wish I could become a weasel for a week.

[Faust]

Granted, you are now Michael Gove.

I wish I could get by on 2 hour's sleep a night, there's not enough hours in the day.

[Umbra.Exe]

Granted. You can get by on 2 hours a night, but an entire day is now only 6 hours long.

I wish I had a better memory.

[Data]

Granted! But your memory is that of every single being, at any moment. 

I wish I had the power of hardbass music 

[Faust]

Granted! You are now...

I wish for a fidget spinner that never stops spinning.

[Snagged]

Granted. It's glued on your skin at the back of your neck. I hope you don't have a long hair else you might find yourself to be in an nasty entanglement. 

I wish this fidget spinner craze would end already 

 

[Caledonian]

Granted. It is replaced by an even worse hype.

I wish to see the actual real life loch ness monster

[Faust]

Granted! This happens...

I wish I could stop mixing up the 'Submit' button with the 'Insert Other Media' button!

[Lopaw]

Granted, they get merged together in a update that puts random other media from somewhere in your posts when you press the merged button.

I wish I could have a sword sparing match with my fursona.

[Moogle]

Granted, however you're now in a never ending sparing match.. that is, unless one of you clocks the other one out permanently for your freedom!

 

I wish I could balance a spoon on my nose.

[Faust]

5 hours ago, Moogle said:

I wish I could balance a spoon on my nose.

You can, it's very easy. Just breathe on the inside of the bowl of the spoon, then place the tip of the spoon at around the bridge of your nose so that the tip of your nose touches the moist surface of the spoon bowl. And if that doesn't work, it's time to break out the Araldite. You now have  a spoon stuck permanently to the end of your nose.

I wish I was prime minister.

[Lopaw]

Granted, but because all the MPs blow hot and cold each time parliament is in session you resign as the temperature contstantly changing every 10 seconds is too uncomfortable for you.

I wish I could do the weasel war dance just like a actual weasel.

[Fossa]

Granted! But you happen to do so on a minefield, and end up in many small pieces.

I wish everyone lived in caves.

[Faust]

Granted! Sadly there are only so many caves to go around and it's a tad more difficult to make new caves compared to building houses, due to the shortage of mountains in all the major cities of the world. This leads to spiralling cave prices. Most families struggle to pay off their cave mortgage, while many poor individuals are rendered caveless and are forced to sell copies of 'the Big Troglodyte' to make ends meet and sleep rough in the many semi-detached bungalows, luxury apartment flats and stately homes left empty by the big migration to the underworld.

I er.... actually now I wish everyone lived in caves too, but to avoid repetition...

I wish that lava lamps contained actual lava.

[Snagged]

Granted. Due to massive thermal heat convection of the lava, the molten lava must be stored in thick, heavy metal-ceramic thermal containers that are not transparent. Due to these restrictions and the fact that extraction of lava is expensive and dangerous, the lava lamps as we know them will be exclusively for research purposes only. Plus they're ugly as hell and require heat insulating and resistant gloves to even touch. To even make a lamp out of the said lava container, you'd need to open the lid of it, in which case you risk a catastrophic facility fire spreading. 

I wish for an uncorrupt-able wish (here we go again) 

[Lopaw]

Granted, but as this is the corrupt a wish game thread it corrupts itself before you can use it.

I wish I could use a dragon for air transport.

[Fossa]

Granted! But it's not cheap. Not only does it require a fresh supply of damsels for food, but it demands that you pay 1,000 gold coins per ride. And as you can't pay this, after your first ride, you are forced into slavery, having to clean the dragon cave of any and all dragon waste, a formidable task. A shovel is, however, included.

I wish bones were used as currency.

[Faust]

Granted. Fossa bones, naturally. You are suddenly a lot more valuable dead than alive. Good luck with that!

I wish I was a movie star!

[Faust]

Granted! You are already entirely yourself, since that's what yourself means. In addition, whenever you go to the dentist's or the doctor's, the anaesthetic doesn't work. You feel everything.

I wish for fudge.

 

[Fossa]

Granted! You awake, and all the water on earth has now been changed to chocolate milk; rivers, streams and oceans, everything. Fish and wildlife die, decay and the environment collapses; it rains rancid chocolate milk, and heralds in the death of mammal life, and the end of the Holocene period. Giant chocolate rabbits with venomous fangs  now roam the earth, looking for any remaining humans...

I wish the tooth fairy was real, and paid $5,000 every time you lost a tooth. (I might even lose a few, for that price!)

[Snagged]

Granted. All your teeth fall of at the same time during next night. Panicking in the middle of the night, you rush to hospital, leaving your door unlocked, creating a perfect opportunity for a passing burglar to fetch his equipment, intrude into your house and steal your tooth fairy money (she pays in cash, like your parents did) and all your valuable electronics. 

I wish I had the energy and ability to cook my own delicious and nutritious meals