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My Hill!


Kinharia
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You forgot to take your size alteration device with you so I take it and create a bigger hill, climb on it and being the first person on it, I claim it as my own. Then out of boredom I shrink your hill to a size of a penny and you no longer fit on it. I destroy the size alteration device

My bigger hill

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I create a hill on the hill, and on that hill I create another hill. I make another hill on that hill too, and another one on that. Then I make... the original hill on top of that hill, forming an infinite regression. Nobody can get onto my hill now, since climbing it involves first climbing the hill it's standing on and ALL hills in the cycle are on top of another hill.

My Hill-ception!

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*calls in the German Dog catchers Association, ridding the hill of these pesky pooches*

*puts the rabbit in a big, black pot, and adds some veggies and spices*

Mmmmm, mmmmm...some nice, tender rabbit stew, up on Fossa Hill. Life is certainly good.

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I call up the Queen of England (who as a UK resident I am naturally on first-name terms with) and I say "Lizzy, your Madge, I hear there's this crazy Fossa oppressing Corgis." Her being rather fond of the little buggers, she sends James Bond over to free the political prisoners (aka Feelwell) and deal with things.

Then I stick a flag in the hill, which by UK colonial law means it's...

My Hill!

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10 hours ago, Faust said:

I call up the Queen of England (who as a UK resident I am naturally on first-name terms with) and I say "Lizzy, your Madge, I hear there's this crazy Fossa oppressing Corgis." Her being rather fond of the little buggers, she sends James Bond over to free the political prisoners (aka Feelwell) and deal with things.

Then I stick a flag in the hill, which by UK colonial law means it's...

My Hill!

Oh cool, I'll totally be your secretary for freeing me then.

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While you're busy with your EMP, I successfully raise awareness of the hill as the site of a great battle where millions (of nanites) died, and build a war memorial and tacky gift shop on top of it. The flood of tourists drag you off the hill in their  desperation to acquire key chains and snow globes.

My commemorative hill.

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*develops a device that causes all steel, metal, plastic, chemical, germ-based and atomic weapons, and also, clothing to vanish, this, rendering your army naked and defenseless. Then, I fly over, spraying them with honey, and release a lot of fire ants, who make quick work of ridding MY HILL of your army, as they chase them away*

And now, I think, is a fine time to enjoy some nice, tender Rabbit Stew, atop Fossa Hill.

Red or white wine, with this?

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The secretive Office of Specialized Intelligence, having studied the hill for months on end, determines that the hill is a strategic threat to the Central Authority. Accordingly, OSI deploys five Shadows from the Specialized Tactical Reconnaissance and Espionage Division (SPECTRE) to deal with this.

There are no witnesses as to what exactly happened, and nobody is seen entering or leaving the area, but by morning the hill is a barren mound of earth without a single living thing left on it.

 

Then I walk up and sit down on the peak. My hill.

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I, actually don't really want the hill anymore.

I have a moment of self reflection, and realize that happiness isn't about material positions. I realize that true happiness can only come from good times spent with good people, and that fighting over some land will only bring sadness.

So to that end I burn the hill to the ground.

 

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Industrial wasteland you say? Sounds like there might be some oppressed proletariat about, and some means of production to seize...

With a little class consciousness, a swift revolution, and a few purges of "reactionaries", the hill is mine.

My Communist "utopia" hill.

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I rig the hill's elections by putting forward two candidates who are both so uniformly abysmally awful that nobody can decide between them. The hill soon falls into anarchy and people fighting over whether they want the sexist, racist fat cat moron or the devious conniving machiavelli. I enter the debate at the last moment and seem like such a saint compared to the other two that I am immediately elected.

My 'democratic republican' hill

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