bullshit Rant: IMMA KEEL MAHSELF! MAH DISORDER ENTITLES ME TO XY AND Z!

[Ratmomma]

You know the type of people, the ones who never grew out of their 13yr old on DeviantART phase, whose reaction to every bit of critique, scrutiny, or drama is I'M GON KILL MYSELF BAWWW FUQ U ALL. Text walls full of bawwing over some inane, trite bullshit, hoards of ass lickers coming to the rescue to slather attention onto their desperate attention whore.

I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU DON'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS! I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF BECAUSE YOU WON'T LET ME DRAW PORN!

Um... no. If you were actually suicidal, you wouldn't be waving it around like some fucking badge to be shown off. 

Furthermore, a physical and/or psychological disorder isn't a badge to be shown off either, and it doesn't entitle you to ANYTHING outside of proper care and treatment. Why the hell do people seem to think that just because they have something wrong with them that they're entitled to: free art, ass pats, to be a dick nose to anyone, sex, and the idea that they can do no wrong? 

Oh, you're autistic and that gives you the right to treat people like shit? Oh, you have asbergers and have the right to fondle someone's breasts? Oh, you're in a wheelchair and feel entitled to coerce someone to pity fuck you?

Heads up:

 

[Vallium]

I dont use my issues as an excuse...I try to work through them. I usually fail...but I try.

Not going to lie though the easiest answer to "Why are you so quiet?" Would be "I have a disorder, dammit!" I really have no clue to respond to these otherwise.

[PastryOfApathy]

It always came across as a symptom of the kind of "oppression olympics" culture that's been fermenting on the internet for quite some time, combined with your run-of-the-mill entitled teenagers/manchildren.

I mean in this day and age especially with places such as tumblr providing an outlet for every nutcase possible, they now have the luxury of easily accessible hugboxes which will gleefully enable them and never tell them no. So instead of pulling that shit and being told off, making them realize that suicide baiting is retarded and that autism isn't a 'get out of douchebaggery free' card, they can now just easily find a community to tell them they're being oppressed by a bunch of ignorant meanie meanie poop heads.

Even worse, this kind of phenomenon actively attacks those who do tell them no. Similar to the mafia, they effectively use threats, harassment and defamation to shut down those who dare speak against them. Ensuring that those who've been suckered into this way of thinking can never accidentally hear any kind of dissenting opinion.

I hate the Internet.

Edited October 18, 2015 by PastryOfApathy

[Ratmomma]

I dont use my issues as an excuse...I try to work through them. I usually fail...but I try.

Not going to lie though the easiest answer to "Why are you so quiet?" Would be "I have a disorder, dammit!" I really have no clue to respond to these otherwise.

My mom ALWAYS asked me that when I was a child and a teen. "Why are you so quiet?" "Why are you alone so much?" "You shouldn't spend so much time alone. It's not healthy." I didn't know why, she didn't know why. I was just always like that. In my teens, I suspected a little more was wrong than just 'quiet', so when I was in 10th grade I took a psych class in hopes I could find out what in the hell was going on with me. I suspected Bipolar Disorder (already knew I had severe depression).

When I was 20-21, a psychiatrist confirmed Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder with Dysthymia (you're always just low, which explains my entire life).

ALL THAT SHIT COMPILED TOGETHER, and I don't use it for an excuse for anything, aside from related behavioral outbursts. Then, and only then, do I use those issues as an excuse, because they're literally the reason why I'm doing whatever self destructive thing I'm doing.

It always came across as a symptom of the kind of "oppression olympics" culture that's been fermenting on the internet for quite some time, combined with your run-of-the-mill entitled teenagers/manchildren.

I mean in this day and age especially with places such as tumblr providing an outlet for every nutcase possible, they now have the luxury of easily accessible hugboxes which will gleefully enable them and never them no. So instead of pulling that shit and being told off making them realize that suicide baiting is retarded and that autism isn't a 'get out of douchebaggery free' card, they can now just find easily find a community to tell them they're being oppressed by a bunch of ignorant meanie meanie poop heads.

Even worse, this kind of phenomenon actively attacks those who do tell them no. Similar to the mafia, they effectively use threats, harassment and defamation to shut down those who dare speak against them. Ensuring that those who've been suckered into this way of thinking can never accidentally hear any kind of dissenting opinion.

I hate the Internet.

I couldn't hit the 'like' button any harder without destroying my laptop.

[Vallium]

I tend to separate "reason" and "excuse" when referring to people with disorders, I sympathize and expect that it was a legitimate reason to act as such, but a reason=/=an excuse. I'll respect people with issues if they respect others to learn to deal with their issues.

[Luka]

I've always kept my problems to myself. I feel like I should have whined more about stuff when I was younger.

[Ratmomma]

I tend to separate "reason" and "excuse" when referring to people with disorders, I sympathize and expect that it was a legitimate reason to act as such, but a reason=/=an excuse. I'll respect people with issues if they respect others to learn to deal with their issues.

I guess with me 'reason' and 'excuse' tend to blur, as I'm so used to being told I'm lying and a hypochondriac that I cannot seem to recognize the difference when it comes to myself. I can see it and empathize when it's other people, but myself? Nawp.

I've always kept my problems to myself. I feel like I should have whined more about stuff when I was younger.

I used to, then I started talking about what was wrong, and now I've just decided that the collective minds of internet users is the only thing I can safely talk to and either receive: actual helpful advice, or receive absolutely no caring reply and I won't feel hurt by it.

[Machine]

In my experience, the "autism" that Tumblrinas want to have is either rare and/or glamorized to exaggerated degrees.

A lot of people are really surprised when I tell them I have autism, because I "don't look it". Some even straight up say I'm lying, though the papers of my diagnosis say otherwise. I know what they mean, though, because I've never encountered an autistic person who is as "normal" as myself (at least, not outside the Internet). The most "normal" autistic person I personally met had social anxiety worse than my own. It is a very strange and vast spectrum of disorder.

And no, "reading books, hating people, and being a cunt about it" is not what autism is. Stop it, Tumblr.

Edited October 18, 2015 by Machine

[AshleyAshes]

You know the type of people, the ones who never grew out of their 13yr old on DeviantART phase

It always kind of scares me when I see individuals who have that kind of world view.  At first I'm like 'Well, it's some noisy kid who has an exceptionally tiny world view so these the status of their Pokémon seems like a life destroying event.'  And then I'm like 'Jesus, they're 27. o___o'

[Ratmomma]

In my experience, the "autism" that Tumblrinas want to have is either rare and/or glamorized to exaggerated degrees.

A lot of people are really surprised when I tell them I have autism, because I "don't look it". Some even straight up say I'm lying, though the papers of my diagnosis say otherwise. I know what they mean, though, because I've never encountered an autistic person who is as "normal" as myself (at least, not outside the Internet). The most "normal" autistic person I personally met had social anxiety worse than my own. It is a very strange and vast spectrum of disorder.

And no, "reading books, hating people, and being a cunt about it" is not what autism is. Stop it, Tumblr.

So much of Tumblr is a cesspool. There's only a very small sane portion left that has a sense of humor and doesn't make a mockery of fucking EVERYTHING IN EXISTENCE.

It always kind of scares me when I see individuals who have that kind of world view.  At first I'm like 'Well, it's some noisy kid who has an exceptionally tiny world view so these the status of their Pokémon seems like a life destroying event.'  And then I'm like 'Jesus, they're 27. o___o'

Honestly, the most god awful thing I've ever seen on DA was this guy whose dream was to become a pad for a woman to use on her period. The guy's DA profile was nothing but a shit load of pads from every brand he could get a hold of, and the comments on his page were a fucking goldmine. He's deactivated, but the nightmares remain.

[Machine]

So much of Tumblr is a cesspool. There's only a very small sane portion left that has a sense of humor and doesn't make a mockery of fucking EVERYTHING IN EXISTENCE.

I follow various art guide blogs and music blogs. Everything else is cancerous waste, pretty much.

[Ratmomma]

I follow various art guide blogs and music blogs. Everything else is cancerous waste, pretty much.

I follow the lulz, and some beware blogs, because I'd like to avoid trash :U

[Red Lion]

People using mental illness as an excuse not to function get on my nerves something bad. And mind you, there's a difference between a reason and an excuse. When I see people copy/past this onto their fb status I cringe.

 

Firstly, you're not hiding shit, you're putting it right there on your very public status for everyone to see. Secondly, you're not pushing anyone away, you're all but begging them to come in and fix you. No one expects you to be perfect.  You're not justified in breaking promise after promise because you're depressed, two of those statements are basically the same thing and I know you think you're saying "I'm sad and I need help" but this reads more like "I'm willing to emotionally blackmail my friends for attention and give them absolutely nothing for it in return."

The thing about most of these people who use mental illness as an excuse to not function is that they fully expect the people around them to be totally accepting and accommodating. If you can't handle their emotional baggage then you're the asshole. 

Dating someone with depression is hard enough when it's someone you love and they're struggling and trying their hardest. Imagine dating someone who isn't even trying, who is so wrapped up in themselves that they forget that other people have feelings or worse think that the feelings of others don't matter because they don't have a mental illness. That kind of person will sap the life out of you and keep demanding more, more time, more attention, more affection. But they won't give any of those things in return, they want to feel better about themselves, they want to feel loved but they have none of those things to give you. No matter how happy your day started it's going to be obliterated the minute you talk to them, you'll hear the phrase, "I just wanted this one thing" daily, you'll dread getting through a day with them because you know you'll be exhausted, you have to be afraid leaving will literally kill them, don't you dare go out with your friends because you can't do that without a heavy dose of guilt, if you dare be happy you'll only remind them that they can't be happy. And your problems will never be as worthy of concern as theirs. 

But when you try to leave them you're the asshole. You're a traitor. You can't love someone who makes you feel like that, you can only pity them and in the end neither of you are going to get what you need. When you get to that point the best you can hope for is stagnation.

I'm not even speaking on the part of someone who's totally ignorant to having a mental illness

I have PTSD, it makes me dissociate, causes me a lot of stress and generally makes things a little harder. It does interfere with my life but not so much that I can't function, I've had 7 years to try and cope with it and I've learned how to manage it. Yes, I get stressed, I feel anxious and upset, sometimes for seemingly no reason. I would never ever tell my partner that his feelings don't matter, or that they're somehow less than mine. I would never try to make him feel guilty for enjoying himself, or having friends, even if I'm having a hard time. Whether someone is mentally ill or not, everyone deserves love, compassion and understanding. A person doesn't need to be mentally ill to feel pain, or to need support. Being mentally ill doesn't give you an excuse to dismiss other people's pain because you're "suffering harder". It's ok to ask for help, it's ok to need someone, it's not ok to be so self-centered that you can't see that other people feel things just as hard as you do even without the diagnoses ( or in many of these cases self-diagnoses) of a mental illness. 

 

[Wolflich]

My first thought and usually reaction is something like 'Okay'. I mean I don't believe you and if you're using your problems as leverage I won't miss you anyway so go for it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Kinare]

I think what irritates me most about these types is that usually they're the first to jump someone who says they struggle with these things and tell them they must be lying because various reasons and they're somehow an expert because they have x or y or multiple issues. Then they go back to their hug boxes and complain how people fake illness and make the true sick folk look bad... So much hypocrisy it nearly makes me weep out of sheer frustration.

[Ginpanther]

Everyone is a special snowflake and they all have entitlement to act outside of societal norms. Anybody who calls them on their bullshit is clearly an oppressive *-phobic shitlord and you should prepare to be shouted down. Challenging anybody is an act of macro-aggression and is clearly a sign of implicit guilt.

[AshleyAshes]

Honestly, the most god awful thing I've ever seen on DA was this guy whose dream was to become a pad for a woman to use on her period. The guy's DA profile was nothing but a shit load of pads from every brand he could get a hold of, and the comments on his page were a fucking goldmine. He's deactivated, but the nightmares remain.

I have to be honest, this seems like something entirely unlike 'Some stupid idget on the internet'.  This seems to be a seriously mentally ill man who, to his credit, has managed to maintain gainful employment as well as attending regular therapy.

[Ratmomma]

I think what irritates me most about these types is that usually they're the first to jump someone who says they struggle with these things and tell them they must be lying because various reasons and they're somehow an expert because they have x or y or multiple issues. Then they go back to their hug boxes and complain how people fake illness and make the true sick folk look bad... So much hypocrisy it nearly makes me weep out of sheer frustration.

I always think of DA and Tumblr in that scenario, because let's face it: that's where they all hide out.

My first thought and usually reaction is something like 'Okay'. I mean I don't believe you and if you're using your problems as leverage I won't miss you anyway so go for it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I immediately thought of DO IT FGT

[Ratmomma]

I have to be honest, this seems like something entirely unlike 'Some stupid idget on the internet'.  This seems to be a seriously mentally ill man who, to his credit, has managed to maintain gainful employment as well as attending regular therapy.

 

True, true...but still disturbing as fuck.

[AshleyAshes]

True, true...but still disturbing as fuck.

I went Googling, seems he disappeared from the internet, I wonder if he got the help he needed and vanished back into mundane society.

[Ratmomma]

I went Googling, seems he disappeared from the internet, I wonder if he got the help he needed and vanished back into mundane society.

If so, that's probably for the best, considering how disturbing the whole thing was/is.

[Zaraphayx]

I too am frustrated that these mentally ill people behave so strangely OP

[Machine]

I too am frustrated that these mentally ill people behave so strangely OP

Mental illness on the Internet is different from mental illness in real life.

[Zaraphayx]

Mental illness on the Internet is different from mental illness in real life.

Adults who threaten suicide or explode into fits of rage online for trivialities who aren't just trolling are mentally unstable, just not in the cool "tortured genius" way they pretend to be.

[Zeke]

Adults who threaten suicide or explode into fits of rage online for trivialities who aren't just trolling are mentally unstable, just not in the cool "tortured genius" way they pretend to be.

We call that "histrionic personality disorder" in psychology terms....which translates to Attention-whoring disorder.

Edited October 18, 2015 by Ozriel

[AshleyAshes]

We call that "histrionic personality disorder" in psychology terms....which translates to Attention-whoring disorder. :V

Borderline Personality Disorder can fit those scenarios as well.

[Troj]

Well, and I can tell you that most Borderlines are in terrible emotional pain a lot of the time. The tragedy is that their way of getting their pain noticed typically does more to alienate and disgust people than inspire their sympathy, which only serves to perpetuate the cycle of acting out.

I imagine Histrionics are rather unhappy people too, deep down, because their behavior shows that they don't believe that anyone will ever truly validate or pay attention to them if they don't press the panic button.

While their behavior still irritates and upsets me, I can muster up some sympathy for people who are or who appear to be in genuine pain, and who have never learned how to solicit help or support from people in a healthy or authentic way.

I have very little patience for narcissistic or anti-social manipulators or wolf-criers, though. If someone can turn their tears or charms on and off on a dime, or brags about being able to do so, that's a huge red flag.

I'm particularly triggered by a certain type of female who learns at a young age that she's "cute," and that said "cuteness" entitles her to whatever she wants. When she doesn't get what she wants, she cries big, fat crocodile tears, and when that doesn't work, she turns mean. She sees people solely as tools or pawns for helping her achieve her goals, and anyone who doesn't bend to her will must be destroyed.

No doubt this type of person is in psychological pain at some deeper level, but my immediate visceral response upon sniffing 'em out is one of pure, unadulterated contempt.

Of course, I also get annoyed with children or tweens who've learned from television or from an older sibling that threatening suicide gets you attention and sympathy, and who'll threaten to kill themselves if you, say, ask them to do the dishes. In the words of Reverend Lovejoy, "Up yours, children."

On the one hand, I'm pleased that more and more people are "coming out" about their mental health issues, and that there are more resources than ever for learning about or seeking support for various psychological issues.

On the other, it pisses me off that mental health diagnoses have become a fashion statement and get-out-of-jail-free card in some circles.

My basic attitude is, it takes two to tango. Yes, other people should offer appropriate support, accommodations, and understanding to people who are grappling with mental and physical health issues. But, if you're aware of your issues, limitations, and needs, you should also strive to avoid needlessly inconveniencing people just because you're "sick" and people should feel sad for you.

Edited October 18, 2015 by Troj

[Luka]

As someone who dealt with all of their problems on their own, I think it's probably healthier when people complain about them to other people.

As a result I ended up somewhat bitter when it comes to people whining to kingdom come about their issues. I have an old friend who claims to be depressed and has publicly threatened to take his own life more than once, and I feel like I can't really help him at all. He usually confides in me about his feelings, and I find myself always holding back an urge to be frustrated at him . He's so public about his depression, he's had so many people trying to help him over the course of two years, and yet he just doesn't come out of that slump. I like him and I wish I could just be supportive and not have that urge to call him out, you know?
 

Edited October 18, 2015 by Luka

[FlynnCoyote]

I've been through anxiety and depression, and honestly I can't even fathom the thought of taking it to an online group like this. It's one thing asking a friend or family member for help here and there, and it's another entirely to seek professional help, but what kind of narcissist feels so entitled that friends and online strangers should have to bear their burden as well?

I fucking despise these kinds of people who feel the world should stop for them. Oh you're gonna kill yourself? Go for it. It's not like you're doing anything worthwhile with your life anyway you miserable parasite.

[Ratmomma]

Well, and I can tell you that most Borderlines are in terrible emotional pain a lot of the time. The tragedy is that their way of getting their pain noticed typically does more to alienate and disgust people than inspire their sympathy, which only serves to perpetuate the cycle of acting out.

I imagine Histrionics are rather unhappy people too, deep down, because their behavior shows that they don't believe that anyone will ever truly validate or pay attention to them if they don't press the panic button.

While their behavior still irritates and upsets me, I can muster up some sympathy for people who are or who appear to be in genuine pain, and who have never learned how to solicit help or support from people in a healthy or authentic way.

I have very little patience for narcissistic or anti-social manipulators or wolf-criers, though. If someone can turn their tears or charms on and off on a dime, or brags about being able to do so, that's a huge red flag.

I'm particularly triggered by a certain type of female who learns at a young age that she's "cute," and that said "cuteness" entitles her to whatever she wants. When she doesn't get what she wants, she cries big, fat crocodile tears, and when that doesn't work, she turns mean. She sees people solely as tools or pawns for helping her achieve her goals, and anyone who doesn't bend to her will must be destroyed.

No doubt this type of person is in psychological pain at some deeper level, but my immediate visceral response upon sniffing 'em out is one of pure, unadulterated contempt.

Of course, I also get annoyed with children or tweens who've learned from television or from an older sibling that threatening suicide gets you attention and sympathy, and who'll threaten to kill themselves if you, say, ask them to do the dishes. In the words of Reverend Lovejoy, "Up yours, children."

On the one hand, I'm pleased that more and more people are "coming out" about their mental health issues, and that there are more resources than ever for learning about or seeking support for various psychological issues.

On the other, it pisses me off that mental health diagnoses have become a fashion statement and get-out-of-jail-free card in some circles.

My basic attitude is, it takes two to tango. Yes, other people should offer appropriate support, accommodations, and understanding to people who are grappling with mental and physical health issues. But, if you're aware of your issues, limitations, and needs, you should also strive to avoid needlessly inconveniencing people just because you're "sick" and people should feel sad for you.

"I'm particularly triggered by a certain type of female who learns at a young age that she's "cute," and that said "cuteness" entitles her to whatever she wants. When she doesn't get what she wants, she cries big, fat crocodile tears, and when that doesn't work, she turns mean. She sees people solely as tools or pawns for helping her achieve her goals, and anyone who doesn't bend to her will must be destroyed."

Can we just destroy the mentioned type of female and let's be honest, male as well?

As far as Borderlines go... The only encounter I've had with one made me want to throw him off the top of the empire state building, mostly because he slandered the living hell out of me to half the fucking county by saying I groped him... AT MY ONE OF MY BEST FRIEND'S FUCKING FUNERAL. Who the FUCK even says that? YEAH I TOTALLY HAD TIME FOR THAT WHILE I WAS ROCKING BACK AND FORTH IN AGONY AND HANGING ON MY OTHER BEST FRIENDS WHILE I SOBBED INTO OBLIVION AS ONE OF MY FRIEND'S LAID IN A COFFIN 20FT AWAY. The guy is a fucking psychopath and got himself thrown out of the air force for being said psychopath.

I've been through anxiety and depression, and honestly I can't even fathom the thought of taking it to an online group like this. It's one thing asking a friend or family member for help here and there, and it's another entirely to seek professional help, but what kind of narcissist feels so entitled that friends and online strangers should have to bear their burden as well?

I fucking despise these kinds of people who feel the world should stop for them. Oh you're gonna kill yourself? Go for it. It's not like you're doing anything worthwhile with your life anyway you miserable parasite.

Oh god, that's the only way I can survive 9/10 times: by going on the internet and confiding in perfect strangers, because anyone that bothers to comment obviously has enough of a fuck to give to leave a word or two, even if it's LOLKILLYOURSELF.JPG At least that gives me a laugh at how fail their troll level is. 

As someone who dealt with all of their problems on their own, I think it's probably healthier when people complain about them to other people.

As a result I ended up somewhat bitter when it comes to people whining to kingdom come about their issues. I have an old friend who claims to be depressed and has publicly threatened to take his own life more than once, and I feel like I can't really help him at all. He usually confides in me about his feelings, and I find myself always holding back an urge to be frustrated at him . He's so public about his depression, he's had so many people trying to help him over the course of two years, and yet he just doesn't come out of that slump. I like him and I wish I could just be supportive and not have that urge to call him out, you know?
 

I understand both ends of the spectrum. I've been your as described friend, and I've also been you. It's frustrating on both ends. Your friend clearly isn't ready to leave his comfort zone, which is his depression (assuming it's not a shit show). I was in a 2.5yr long depression in my teens that absolutely nothing and no one could help me out of. You have to WANT to be helped, otherwise all the help in the world won't do a thing.

[Kinharia]

In my experience, the "autism" that Tumblrinas want to have is either rare and/or glamorized to exaggerated degrees.

A lot of people are really surprised when I tell them I have autism, because I "don't look it". Some even straight up say I'm lying, though the papers of my diagnosis say otherwise. I know what they mean, though, because I've never encountered an autistic person who is as "normal" as myself (at least, not outside the Internet). The most "normal" autistic person I personally met had social anxiety worse than my own. It is a very strange and vast spectrum of disorder.

And no, "reading books, hating people, and being a cunt about it" is not what autism is. Stop it, Tumblr.

This so much. I still remember to the complete shock and horror when I told a few aquitainces I was Autistic. "So Kinny you hang around other people with Autism?" "Yea" "What are they like compared to us?" "At least they have an excuse"

[Troj]

Can we just destroy the mentioned type of female and let's be honest, male as well?

By all means!

I have a different emotional reaction to manipulative men, I admit---still negative, mind you, but different. The women make me angry in a way that the men don't, for some reason.

Sorry about the creep at the funeral. That's gross.

[Red Lion]

I run in to a lot of people (girls more often than guys) who use mental illness as a way to escape responisbility. They didn't finish a project by the deadline? Depression's fault. They didn't keep a date? Anxiety is to blame. They make an ass of themselves by starting a fight? Bipolar strikes again. Even if these are really the reasons for their behavior why does it matter? Why should someone else keep trying to work with them if they never get anything done and always pick fights or have a melt down when you need them to do something? 

Thing is, people with mental illnesses aren't always unreliable, plenty of them manage their illness and still manage to do all the things they need to. But some of the girls I know seem to find it easier to just feed me lines about how they wanted to help make a presentation for our college class but their mental illness kept them from leaving the house. Yet said mental illness never makes an appearance when it's something like attending an anime convention, going out to eat or squabbling about petty politics on facebook. These people also tend to flaunt their mental illness and brag about their struggles. To them it's like a trendy badge that lets them get out of jail free.

[Troj]

I realize that it's unfair to compare one person's suffering with another's, but even so, I admit that I sometimes find myself experiencing compassion fatigue with people who blow up or melt down in the face of (from my point of view) relatively "normal" or "routine" stressors or disappointments, compared to some of the more extreme traumas and stressors that human beings have shown they can weather and rise above.

I don't know if it's just selection bias or what, but are we getting less resilient as a culture? Or, does it only seem like people are less resilient, because they're more willing to be open about their issues and/or diagnoses, and that makes them seem less stoic?

[Kinharia]

People are becoming more open about themselves as there heavy stigma of mental illness is slowly fading away. The 50s generation would never speak of any of this so people just suffered quietly most of the time. Now we are entering to an age where people are more open about their struggles. I've depressed for years now and I still force myself to continue, yes there are days where I can not do anything but you need to force yourself into doing something to distract the mind. Plus I am under the impression that most people who have a mild form of anything are trumping it up big time to get their precious Get Out Of Jail Free card. I've only used a condition of mine on rare ocassions and always put in extra work to compensate for that failure on the day. People need to be compassionate yes, but they also need to be stern with people as well.

[Wolflich]

Personally I'd take a straightforward existential threat over the slow crushing pressure of being a functional human being if I could, although I may be biased by not having much of a sense of existential threat in the first place.

[Troj]

I've often noticed that the most severely depressed and intensely anxious people are typically very reluctant to bother or inconvenience others, and will regularly conceal or downplay their problems for fear of being judged, resented, disliked, rejected, or criticized by those around them.

A large part of what often fuels anxiety and depression is this core belief that other people are fundamentally better, more competent, more deserving, more valuable and/or more important than you, and that they'll eat you alive or abandon you completely if you piss them off.

[Sidewalk Surfboard]

People who use their conditions for attention need to get the internet taken away from them for a very, VERY long time. Having a mental condition isn't cool or fun. It's completely awful.

[Onnes]

I've often noticed that the most severely depressed and intensely anxious people are typically very reluctant to bother or inconvenience others, and will regularly conceal or downplay their problems for fear of being judged, resented, disliked, rejected, or criticized by those around them.

A large part of what often fuels anxiety and depression is this core belief that other people are fundamentally better, more competent, more deserving, more valuable and/or more important than you, and that they'll eat you alive or abandon you completely if you piss them off.

People who use their conditions for attention need to get the internet taken away from them for a very, VERY long time. Having a mental condition isn't cool or fun. It's completely awful.

It's somewhat amusing that these two posts ended up together. There is an inherent tension between wanting people to be more open about mental health issues so that they can cope with them while at the same time expressing large worries about people using mental illness as a form of attention seeking. If someone is in the mindset of "everything I do is wrong", which isn't that uncommon when it comes to anxiety and depression, then they are probably going to think that they themselves will be seen as purely attention seeking, along with every other negative stigma they may have picked up.

[Ratmomma]

By all means!

I have a different emotional reaction to manipulative men, I admit---still negative, mind you, but different. The women make me angry in a way that the men don't, for some reason.

Sorry about the creep at the funeral. That's gross.

Same here, but maybe that's because I'm female as well and can better pick up on the bullshit of the mentioned fucktards a little better than perhaps a guy could right off the bat.

And yeah...creep is major creep, and needs to be in a padded room for a good, long time.

I've often noticed that the most severely depressed and intensely anxious people are typically very reluctant to bother or inconvenience others, and will regularly conceal or downplay their problems for fear of being judged, resented, disliked, rejected, or criticized by those around them.

A large part of what often fuels anxiety and depression is this core belief that other people are fundamentally better, more competent, more deserving, more valuable and/or more important than you, and that they'll eat you alive or abandon you completely if you piss them off.

That describes me perfectly. Right now I probably should be in the hospital, but I'm terrified to be. I don't want to bother anyone, and I also don't want to be taken away from my animals (they'd have someone taking care of them should I end up unable to for a few days).

[#00Buck]

People in wheelchairs get free sex?

Ima buy a wheelchair. 

[Red Lion]

I realize that it's unfair to compare one person's suffering with another's, but even so, I admit that I sometimes find myself experiencing compassion fatigue with people who blow up or melt down in the face of (from my point of view) relatively "normal" or "routine" stressors or disappointments, compared to some of the more extreme traumas and stressors that human beings have shown they can weather and rise above.

I don't know if it's just selection bias or what, but are we getting less resilient as a culture? Or, does it only seem like people are less resilient, because they're more willing to be open about their issues and/or diagnoses, and that makes them seem less stoic?

Compassion fatigue is a good term for it. When it feels like people are exaggerating their symptoms or being unhappy/angry/anxious is just their normal state it gets hard to keep mustering up sympathy. It's especially hard when they are constantly disappointing you by repeatedly failing to do very simple, everyday tasks like show up to a meeting, act like an adult, or meet a fucking deadline just once. You try to be accommodating or understanding but the rest of the team has been putting in overtime to get a job done and we're all frustrated and tired, having that one person consistently just fail to preform is really bad for group morale. When you get to that point what choice is left but to cut that person from the project? There comes a point in life where there's just no room to be sympathetic. 

I think part of it is that there's less stigma now so people aren't afraid to cry and make a big fuss when something happens, even if it seems trivial to you and me. Also it's one thing to be open, it's another thing to wave it around in everyone's face. Depression is difficult to live with, but that doesn't mean people who have it are automatically cry babies who run away from every little conflict and use their illness as an excuse to never be accountable. I also think people these days romanticize being "tortured and damaged". The want people to think they're either on the brink of world ending destruction or heroically persevering. This does no favors for people who really are suffering because the more normal and common something is the less severe it looks so we tend to just brush it off and ignore it. Everybody and their aunt's depressed these days, it makes it feel like it's just not a big deal. 

[Troj]

Well, and Red Lion, you're completely right that even a sympathetic person will get burned out after the umpteenth time of someone having a meltdown or a blow-up, because part of you starts to go, "Ugh, this again," and "Oy, get over it already."

I even catch myself reacting that way with friends or other folks who are dealing with genuinely serious stuff, because part of me just gets tired of hearing about or having to respond sensitively and thoughtfully to said "stuff."

I also find myself losing patience with kids whose lives have been pretty normal and routine as far as I know, but they have major emotional meltdowns in response to life events or stressors that I, for example, was generally expected to weather with gravitas and stoicism when I was their age. (And there, I am aware of a part of me that may be jealous of people getting attention, validation, or support for their issues that I couldn't get or wasn't allowed to have in the past for mine.)

I also notice that part of me reflexively bristles, sneers, or sighs at people whose coping mechanisms are the opposite of mine, because those coping mechanisms just don't intuitively make sense to me, of course. This means that I have to be more intentional and deliberate about digging down and finding my empathy and compassion for drug addicts, histrionics, borderlines, and externalizers in general.

Edited October 21, 2015 by Troj

[Ratmomma]

People in wheelchairs get free sex?

Ima buy a wheelchair. 

bby you can come swim in my fish bowl ANY TIME

Well, and Red Lion, you're completely right that even a sympathetic person will get burned out after the umpteenth time of someone having a meltdown or a blow-up, because part of you starts to go, "Ugh, this again," and "Oy, get over it already."

I even catch myself reacting that way with friends or other folks who are dealing with genuinely serious stuff, because part of me just gets tired of hearing about or having to respond sensitively and thoughtfully to said "stuff."

I also find myself losing patience with kids whose lives have been pretty normal and routine as far as I know, but they have major emotional meltdowns in response to life events or stressors that I, for example, was generally expected to weather with gravitas and stoicism when I was their age. (And there, I am aware of a part of me that may be jealous of people getting attention, validation, or support for their issues that I couldn't get or wasn't allowed to have in the past for mine.)

I also notice that part of me reflexively bristles, sneers, or sighs at people whose coping mechanisms are the opposite of mine, because those coping mechanisms just don't intuitively make sense to me, of course. This means that I have to be more intentional and deliberate about digging down and finding my empathy and compassion for drug addicts, histrionics, borderlines, and externalizers in general.

I'm very much an externalizer, as much as I try to hide it *cough* cutting *cough cough*. I always lie when someone asks about a bandage on my arm: "oh, I got a steam burn" "X fell on me", but it's usually that I "got a steam burn", because unless it's quite severe, it won't leave a mark, and I won't have anyone asking why there's no burn scar.

[Troj]

I saw cutters in a new light when I realized that I engage in "normal" behaviors for some of the same reasons that cutters cut.

I'm sorry, RatMomma. Are you getting any help or support on your end?

[Ratmomma]

I saw cutters in a new light when I realized that I engage in "normal" behaviors for some of the same reasons that cutters cut.

I'm sorry, RatMomma. Are you getting any help or support on your end?

I actually just got back from a trip to the ER, and they've got a couple of doctors I'll be seeing in the next few weeks here, so I'm finally getting some help now :') Thank you for asking, honestly, thank you.

[Troj]

I actually just got back from a trip to the ER, and they've got a couple of doctors I'll be seeing in the next few weeks here, so I'm finally getting some help now :') Thank you for asking, honestly, thank you.

You're welcome. So glad you're getting some help.

Let me/us know how it goes, and if it continues to be helpful.

[MuttButt]

In my experience, the "autism" that Tumblrinas want to have is either rare and/or glamorized to exaggerated degrees.

A lot of people are really surprised when I tell them I have autism, because I "don't look it". Some even straight up say I'm lying, though the papers of my diagnosis say otherwise. I know what they mean, though, because I've never encountered an autistic person who is as "normal" as myself (at least, not outside the Internet). The most "normal" autistic person I personally met had social anxiety worse than my own. It is a very strange and vast spectrum of disorder.

And no, "reading books, hating people, and being a cunt about it" is not what autism is. Stop it, Tumblr.

I've only known two autistic people in person besides (I suspect) my sister's younger brother. They were my room mate and his friend, and they were both awesome. They definitely did not behave like asshats, and what's funny is they were both a whole lot smarter than I am. Also both of them were CS majors. I dunno if there's a correlation there, jesse (room mate) claimed that about a quarter of CS majors were somewhere on the autism spectrum, but he never showed me any study to back that up so take it with a grain of salt I suppose.

The only thing is that I could tell they weren't very socially well adjusted, only because they didn't have terribly many friends, and probably not much of a filter either. Really enjoyed terrible, morbid humor, usually totally deadpan. Your first impression is that they're kind've elitist assholes, but you get over that if you don't have an ego and learn not to take anything they say -too- seriously. Especially since they were smarter than most people and knew it too.

[Onnes]

 I dunno if there's a correlation there, jesse (room mate) claimed that about a quarter of CS majors were somewhere on the autism spectrum, but he never showed me any study to back that up so take it with a grain of salt I suppose.

I'm pretty sure someone could make an entire career from the cultural anthropology of computer science and related departments. While I don't doubt that a relatively large fraction of the students majoring in CS are autistic, I'm not sure what typical high-functioning autism traits would actually distinguish them from all the rest of the CS department. Something about that subject either attracts certain types or somehow slowly conditions people who spend enough time around it. Oddly enough, you really don't see the same thing in the physical sciences, although most of those departments focus on academic career paths instead of professional ones.

[Ratmomma]

You're welcome. So glad you're getting some help.
Let me/us know how it goes, and if it continues to be helpful.

I'm optimistic about it all, though I'm very unsure about my Monday appt. They said it was a "triage" appt, and from what I Googled, I think it's because the ER staff weren't equipped to handle psych cases?