help me yiff the planet as the furred reich

[Pignog]

I'm going to play through Hearts of Iron 2 and rewrite history by blitzkrieging the heteronormie menace. Sign up here if you want to be part of the revolution. Include a short bio or tell me what you want to be and I'll throw you in the game with your avatar. I'll probably post screenshots or something and y'all can tell me what to do and get Germany wiped out before 1939. 

You can be one of a few different things:

• Government Minister
• Research Team
• Military Leader

If you're going to be a Military Leader, specify:

• Land
• Sea
• Air

You can tell me what kind of stats you want but I reserve the right to make you as good or shitty as I feel. Also I don't really believe in airpower but definitely believe in driving tanks into things, so if you want to see action Land is a good bet.

 

[#00Buck]

Baron Von Buck The 3rd

Uber marshal of the U-Boats

My packs of U Boats will own the enemy convoys with hot torpedo on boat action. 

I get maximum stats in kills on defenceless boats and sailors trying to swim to shore. 

[Zaraphayx]

Peen Wienerstein Esq.

Foreign Minister, Ideological Crusader.

Good Posting must be brought to these heathens.

[Proper noun]

Flutter Fuck,

Air Leader, I like being forgettable. 

'Cmon give me ya worst

[Osrik]

Field Marshal Osrik Von Düsseldorfen, Knight of the Order of Murr, Holder of the Yiff Cross

Mastermind General of the Army or possibly Chief of Staff

Renowned for his tactics of penetrating the enemy line and striking at their rear with his... armored divisions.

[DevilBear]

Devil Von Bär-

Head of weapons research and development. I have a monocle and curly mustache.

I created a landmine that, when activated, turns the enemy soldier into a gay dog.

[Zerig]

Zerig Von Waschbar

just give me an army and point me towards some communist scum

 

 

[Eggdodger]

Dr. Eischwindler

I'll be part of your research team. I'm more likely to be granted asylum than executed if you fail that way.

 

...Not that I would ever doubt your commanding prowess, Fur-rer!

[Pignog]

3 minutes ago, Proper noun said:

Flutter Fuck,

Air Leader or researcher I guess,

'Cmon give me ya worst

 

1 minute ago, DevilBear said:

Devil Von Bär-

Head of weapons research and development. I have a monocle and curly mustache.

 

2 minutes ago, Osrik said:

Field Marshal Osrik Von Düsseldorfen, Knight of the Order of Murr, Holder of the Yiff Cross

Mastermind General of the Army or possibly Chief of Staff

Renowned for his tactics of penetrating the enemy line and striking at their rear with his... armored divisions.

If you're a military minister or researcher I'll also give you the option to be a frontline commander. So like in the game Guderian is both a military doctrine researcher and a general.

 

4 minutes ago, Eggdodger said:

Dr. Eischwindler

I'll be part of your research team. I'm more likely to be granted asylum than executed if you fail that way.

 

...Not that I would ever doubt your commanding prowess, Fur-rer!

get to work on my census tabulating machine

[Osrik]

2 minutes ago, Pignog said:

 

 

If you're a military minister or researcher I'll also give you the option to be a frontline commander. So like in the game Guderian is both a military doctrine researcher and a general.

 

Well, then Osrik needs to be both the Chief of Staff and a field commander, to maximize his titles.

[Eggdodger]

3 minutes ago, Pignog said:

get to work on my census tabulating machine

I already built a robot to build the census tabulating machine for me. Probably less work in the long run.

[Pignog]

26 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

Baron Von Buck The 3rd

Uber marshal of the U-Boats

My packs of U Boats will own the enemy convoys with hot torpedo on boat action. 

I get maximum stats in kills on defenceless boats and sailors trying to swim to shore. 

Unless we get more naval commanders or someone steps up I might just give you the entire Kriegsmarine. I'm very good at getting my entire navy wrecked in a decisive battle with the british so rip

[DevilBear]

I am the Obärsturmführer

[MuttButt]

my name is uh, Matty

may I please be der furrer's strapping young house boy that tidies up your villa and draws your baths and stuff? :V

 

 

[Pignog]

3 minutes ago, MuttButt said:

my name is uh, Matty

may I please be der furrer's strapping young house boy that tidies up your villa and draws your baths and stuff? :V

 

 

You'll be replacing the closest analogue I can think of: Rudolf Hess as Head of Government.

[MuttButt]

1 minute ago, Pignog said:

You'll be replacing the closest analogue I can think of: Rudolf Hess as Head of Government.

Yaaaay! 

[DevilBear]

If we're doing actual people, I share my birthday with Josef Goebbels. And I like film.

[Eggdodger]

Oh, I looked it up, and I share a birthday with Gerd von Rundstedt. Make of that what you will, Pignog. I would make a p, good army leader or whatever if my Steam library is any indication of my experience =v

[Pignog]

26 minutes ago, DevilBear said:

If we're doing actual people, I share my birthday with Josef Goebbels. And I like film.

You'll be completely new leaders in the game, but you'll be replacing historical figures' positions.

9 minutes ago, Eggdodger said:

Oh, I looked it up, and I share a birthday with Gerd von Rundstedt. Make of that what you will, Pignog. I would make a p, good army leader or whatever if my Steam library is any indication of my experience =v

I figured since you're a CS student you'd replace Konrad Zuse and be in charge of computing/cryptography, but if you'd rather be a general that's cool.

[Liovaire]

I would like to be a researcher of some kind. I don't know anything about the actual game but I'm too much of a coward to be on the front lines. For the glory of the pignog empire C: 

[Eggdodger]

9 minutes ago, Pignog said:

I figured since you're a CS student you'd replace Konrad Zuse and be in charge of computing/cryptography, but if you'd rather be a general that's cool.

That sounds cool actually, do that

I will develop a built-in software on handheld gaming devices to share your secret codes on. I'll call it "Cryptochat".

[Onnes]

Research team you say? Are we talking boring rocket engineering or enthralling nuclear apocalypse?

[LazerMaster5]

Heinz Duncan

Commander of the skies

May our blitzkrieg last for a thousand days.

Mochtest du Mineralwasser mit Zitrone und Eis?

[Pignog]

2 hours ago, Onnes said:

Research team you say? Are we talking boring rocket engineering or enthralling nuclear apocalypse?

Research teams have 5 "slots" that are filled with their specialties. Each specialty has a skill level between 1-9 assigned to it, and you can have the same specialty in mutlple slots if you want to really specialize in that thing.

Here's a list of the research specialties (and yes nuclear bombs are def a thing):

http://www.paradoxian.org/hoi2wiki/index.php/List_of_Component_Types

What would Onnes Industries like to specialize in?

[Feelwell]

Herr Feelz

Military Ground Leader

Leader of Ze 104th Rabbit Armored Infantry (Or armor or infantry or whatever works for you) and ze youngest military mind in ze reich.

Oh, can I replace Rommel?

[Onnes]

17 minutes ago, Pignog said:

Research teams have 5 "slots" that are filled with their specialties. Each specialty has a skill level between 1-9 assigned to it, and you can have the same specialty in mutlple slots if you want to really specialize in that thing.

Here's a list of the research specialties (and yes nuclear bombs are def a thing):

http://www.paradoxian.org/hoi2wiki/index.php/List_of_Component_Types

What would Onnes Industries like to specialize in?

Obviously nuclear physics! Mathematics or chemistry would also work.

[Pignog]

13 minutes ago, Feelwell the Rabbit said:

Herr Feelz

Military Ground Leader

Leader of Ze 104th Rabbit Armored Infantry (Or armor or infantry or whatever works for you) and ze youngest military mind in ze reich.

Oh, can I replace Rommel?

You're young and full of burning spirit, but currently lack the experience to command armour. You will be assigned a single cavalry division in the Wehrmacht. Prove yourself and you will be rapidly promoted.

[Feelwell]

Just now, Pignog said:

You're young and full of burning spirit, but currently lack the experience to command armour. You will be assigned a single cavalry division in the Wehrmacht. Prove yourself and you will be rapidly promoted.

YOU USE CAVALRY?

Also,

HELL YEA!

[Pignog]

3 hours ago, Liovaire said:

I would like to be a researcher of some kind. I don't know anything about the actual game but I'm too much of a coward to be on the front lines. For the glory of the pignog empire C: 

What kind of research are you interested in doing?

[Liovaire]

Either management, math or chemistry. Whatever you need Or think fits best. (Or centralised/decentralised execution, I don't know what these ones are for exactly but execution is a nice word) 

[Sutekh_the_Steak]

Steak. 

Research team member. (banana expert)

[Cingal]

Cingal Von Erhart

 

Military Land Commander

 

I have over 8,000 games in World of Tanks. Mostly as German vehicles.

[Caledonian]

Lord Dalzell Caledon Whittingdon-Shiere.

Military.

Aether fleed. (Aka the airforce)

Dalzell sure loves his job, but his interest in out dated technology seems to cause trouble sometimes

[evan]

government minister evan, former military edge commandog

 

 

 

 

[Snagged]

One step ahead of you of world domination

---

But if you want to add me in, I would like to be a your best nuclear researcher/research team; Werner Heisenberg

[Dr. Doggo]

@Pignog GIBBELS

GOVERNMENT MINISTER

[Pignog]

10 hours ago, Sutekh_the_Steak said:

Steak. 

Research team member. (banana expert)

industry and agriculture

9 hours ago, Cingal said:

Cingal Von Erhart

 

Military Land Commander

 

I have over 8,000 games in World of Tanks. Mostly as German vehicles.

Congratulations, you'll be commanding the "Furst & Finest" Panzer Division.

9 hours ago, Caledonian said:

Lord Dalzell Caledon Whittingdon-Shiere.

Military.

Aether fleed. (Aka the airforce)

Dalzell sure loves his job, but his interest in out dated technology seems to cause trouble sometimes

I might be able to edit a txt file and roll back our fighters/interceptors to great war bi-planes, but that will also hand the skies over to the Allies and render Kazooie's bombers and CAS defenseless. Regardless, welcome to fighter command.

6 hours ago, evan said:

commandog

We actually do need a decent commander for leading commando units (ie. mountaineers, marines, airborne). These will almost certainly be suicide missions we dream up over at SJW HQ. Congrats, you are now "The Commandog".

6 hours ago, Snagged Cub said:

One step ahead of you of world domination

---

But if you want to add me in, I would like to be a your best nuclear researcher/research team; Werner Heisenberg

onnes is already our nuke boy, we need some decent guys to train infantry, design tanks, handle industry, design ships, do rocketry. You could be a rocket man?

4 hours ago, Sir Gibby said:

@Pignog GIBBELS

GOVERNMENT MINISTER

Head of Intelligence, Minister of Security, Armaments Minister?

[Dr. Doggo]

7 hours ago, Pignog said:

Head of Intelligence, Minister of Security, Armaments Minister?

Head of Intelligence works!

[Kosha]

Oy vey, give me control of the economy, boychick. Also, don't relocate me because I'm a goyim like you. Yeah.

[LazerMaster5]

So no planes for me? Looks like I'll just have to defect to the US.

[Pignog]

On 2016-08-26 at 9:54 AM, LazerMaster5 said:

So no planes for me? Looks like I'll just have to defect to the US.

Oh no you'll def have planes. I didn't respond to everyone but if you posted in the thread and requested a position I'll throw you in the game.

[Feelwell]

So how goes the war, glorious leader Pignog?

Have we started crushing the cis-normie-scum?

[PastryOfApathy]

All this thread makes me wanna do is draw a military-themed thing of my fagsona.

I can't draw tanks n' stuff for shit though lol.

[LadyRadarEars]

I had relatives who were in the actual kriegsmarine so make me an admiral called Silvia/Silvus Wüstenfuchs :V

My armchair tactician skills are mediocre, but I'm kinda okay at world of warships, mostly cruisers though, not u-boats and that other shiz :V

[Pignog]

On 2016-08-27 at 0:47 PM, Feelwell the Rabbit said:

So how goes the war, glorious leader Pignog?

Have we started crushing the cis-normie-scum?

havent started yet but maybe ill make a list of users from the thread, gather and resize all the avatars, and edit the txt files tonight.

1 hour ago, LadyRadarEars said:

I had relatives who were in the actual kriegsmarine so make me an admiral called Silvia/Silvus Wüstenfuchs :V

My armchair tactician skills are mediocre, but I'm kinda okay at world of warships, mostly cruisers though, not u-boats and that other shiz :V

since Buck is commanding the U-boats I'll leave the surface fleet to you. Glad you like cruisers because if iirc Battle Cruisers or Light Cruisers are broken as hell and we'll be building a lot of them.

[Pignog]

23 hours ago, PastryOfApathy said:

All this thread makes me wanna do is draw a military-themed thing of my fagsona.

I can't draw tanks n' stuff for shit though lol.

i plan on doodlin some junk too (ie. @Feelwell the Rabbit on horseback impetuously charging at a tank) so i welcome any doodles you wanna do. As a side note I feel like our styles would mesh well together and if I ever animate something I'd love if we could collaborate. But that's a topic for another time I guess.

Can I add you as a land commander (we're going to need a lot).

[Feelwell]

1 hour ago, Pignog said:

i plan on doodlin some junk too (ie. @Feelwell the Rabbit on horseback impetuously charging at a tank) 

I'd be honored to charge a tank on horseback for the greater glory of the Furred Reich.

I can see no possible flaws in this plan because it is your plan and we all know that you, our glorious leader, never makes mistakes.

[DevilBear]

As long as I get a sweet ass mg42 I'm happy.

[PastryOfApathy]

1 hour ago, Pignog said:

i plan on doodlin some junk too (ie. @Feelwell the Rabbit on horseback impetuously charging at a tank) so i welcome any doodles you wanna do. As a side note I feel like our styles would mesh well together and if I ever animate something I'd love if we could collaborate. But that's a topic for another time I guess.

Can I add you as a land commander (we're going to need a lot).

Sure. I used to play the Russians almost exclusively when I played Axis & Allies in high school so I'm pretty good at throwing people at Nazis until literally everyone is dead. Either that or the Axis just kinda gives up since the Allies were unbelievably OP (namely the US since heavy bombers are such horseshit).

[Pignog]

2 hours ago, Feelwell the Rabbit said:

I'd be honored to charge a tank on horseback for the greater glory of the Furred Reich.

I can see no possible flaws in this plan because it is your plan and we all know that you, our glorious leader, never makes mistakes.

a running joke in this campaign is going to be I never actually promote you to armour, but continue to burden you with more cavalry divisions, and attach more and more slow-moving brigades to them, like engineers, artillery, police, and anti-air. Eventually you'll be a field Marshal/the second-coming of Genghis Khan

2 hours ago, DevilBear said:

As long as I get a sweet ass mg42 I'm happy.

 

1 hour ago, PastryOfApathy said:

Sure. I used to play the Russians almost exclusively when I played Axis & Allies in high school so I'm pretty good at throwing people at Nazis until literally everyone is dead. Either that or the Axis just kinda gives up since the Allies were unbelievably OP (namely the US since heavy bombers are such horseshit).

welcome to the infantry