Any asexuals/aromantics here?

[deconstructed furry]

I'm not ace myself, but I'm just curious if any are on here. I find you guys interesting. I don't mean offense by that.

I often wish to be aromantic. The feelings of longing for romance are just too intense for me. Asexual would be a nice bonus too, but I have no problem fapping to stuff to get my release. I don't need another person to have sex.

 

[Vallium]

I know a few here but its best to let them comment instead of calling them out

Ive wished to be asexual before cuz having a raging sex drive sucks tbh. But y'know I cant really choose that, aha!

Edited March 8, 2016 by WolfNightV4X1

[Vae]

You can be ace and still jack off.

I'm like a gray-ace or whatever.
Meaning I feel sexual attraction, but when I do, it's pretty rare.

[Zytan]

What's the going term these days... bi-asexual? Not choosey over gender but I'm not going to get overly intimate beyond hugs.  Doesn't make for the simplest of relationships but it works.

[jcstinks]

I find the concept of human coitus to be ridiculous and off-putting.

[Nekokami]

Man, fuck sex.

[Newt]

I sometimes wonder if I'm aromantic. I've never had a crush on another person, and I've always said no to people who ask me to go out with them. But I feel like I reject people because I don't want to be distracted by a relationship (or they're asking for sex in an annoyingly roundabout way).

idk man

Edited March 8, 2016 by Newt

[DrDingo]

I'm not aromantic. But I'm very aromatic

Smell me

[Vallium]

5 minutes ago, DrDingo said:

I'm not aromantic. But I'm very aromatic

Smell me

Oh bby dont tempt me

I bet you smell like rubbing alcohol and acid

[PastryOfApathy]

I'm a gross virgin does that count? 

[Guest]

I've never been in love, nobody has ever asked me out either. I wonder too if I might be ''asexual'' or ''aromantic'' but those just seem like fancy terms to me. Furthermore, sex is often on my mind so I don't exactly qualify for the former. Relationships that go beyond ''mere'' friendship seem like too big a commitment to me, it gives me the idea that you're letting another have a certain degree of ownership over you. I'm too lazy to describe it in detail, but basically I don't like that. However, I really cannot tell as, again, I've never been in a relationship of that sort. So yeah...

[CETME]

1 minute ago, Amiir said:

I've never been in love, nobody has ever asked me out either. I wonder too if I might be ''asexual'' or ''aromantic'' but those just seem like fancy terms to me. Furthermore, sex is often on my mind so I don't exactly qualify for the former. Relationships that go beyond ''mere'' friendship seem like too big a commitment to me, it gives me the idea that you're letting another have a certain degree of ownership over you. I'm too lazy to describe it in detail, but basically I don't like that. However, I really cannot tell as, again, I've never been in a relationship of that sort. So yeah...

I always thought you were homosexual tbh

[Sarcastic Coffeecup]

42 minutes ago, BlitzCo said:

I always thought you were homosexual tbh

I don't think anything Amiir said excludes homogay.

He was just talking about relationships

[Guest]

51 minutes ago, BlitzCo said:

I always thought you were homosexual tbh

 

Oh I am (for the most part)! One glance at my favourites and it's easy to understand why haha, it's just that deep relationships aren't for me, that's all

Edited March 8, 2016 by Guest

[Luka]

I'm asexual but not aromantic

it complicates things

[Zytan]

Think the main off put is everyone blowing relationships up to be more than they are - or should be in order to be successful - leaving people unsure whether they're a-whatever or just wary of such a glorified commitment.

[Vae]

Just for the sake of clarity in this thread, in case anyone's unsure, because these words are often confused:
Asexual: does not feel sexual attraction
Aromantic: does not feel romantic attraction (as in, wanting to pursue a romantic relationship / have romantic attachments / etc)

These are not mutually-inclusive concepts. You can be both ace and aro at the same time, but you don't HAVE to be.
You can want sex without any romantic attachment (aromantic), and you can want a relationship without any sex (asexual).

[Mentova]

I wish I was both sometimes, does that count?

[Kellie Gator]

14 hours ago, WolfNightV4X1 said:

I know a few here but its best to let them comment instead of calling them out

Ive wished to be asexual before cuz having a raging sex drive sucks tbh. But y'know I cant really choose that, aha!

34 minutes ago, Mentova said:

I wish I was both sometimes, does that count?

I am so tired of hearing people wishing they were asexual because they can't handle being virgins or whatever.

I imagine that must be even more annoying for those of you who are asexual, no?

[Mentova]

Just now, Kellie Gator said:

I am so tired of hearing people wishing they were asexual because they can't handle being virgins or whatever.

I imagine that must be even more annoying for those of you who are asexual, no?

I'm just saying being lonely all the time is fucking awful and it would be nice not to give a shit about it.

[Kellie Gator]

2 minutes ago, Mentova said:

I'm just saying being lonely all the time is fucking awful and it would be nice not to give a shit about it.

That's not really what asexuality is about though, is it?

Any asexuals here are free to correct me if I'm wrong, of course.

[Mentova]

Just now, Kellie Gator said:

That's not really what asexuality is about though, is it?

Any asexuals here are free to correct me if I'm wrong, of course.

I mean more aromantic. Vae just defined aromantic as someone who doesn't feel romantic attraction to people.

[Kellie Gator]

2 minutes ago, Mentova said:

I mean more aromantic. Vae just defined aromantic as someone who doesn't feel romantic attraction to people.

I know all too well how you feel but emotional independence is something all of us can achieve, without needing to be asexual which is probably impossible.

Or you could just fuck up your body by becoming morbidly obese or some shit. :U

[Vae]

7 minutes ago, Kellie Gator said:

That's not really what asexuality is about though, is it?

Any asexuals here are free to correct me if I'm wrong, of course.

Asexuality is not about being lonely. In fact, you can be lonely and ace at the same time, because not all emotional relationships entail sex.

But what I got from Mentova's post is simply that it seems ideal from the outside perspective.
Which is understandable.
People idealize the opposite of what causes them problems.

Either way, asexuality and aromanticism aren't mental disorders, so I don't see why it's something worth being offended over.
I get jealous over aromantics, myself, because I tend to get way too emotionally attached to someone when I feel romantic attraction.

Edited March 8, 2016 by Vae

[Mentova]

12 minutes ago, Kellie Gator said:

Or you could just fuck up your body by becoming morbidly obese or some shit. :U

Alright, on it

Also to clarify I don't literally sit there and daydream about how life would be better if I was asexual/romantic, its just a thought I have sometimes when super depressed. >_>

[Zytan]

The flip side of being asexual and being with someone 'normal' is there's the regret to live with of forcing them to go without for your sake.  It's not all peachy I assure you.  I can't comment on how it'd be between two asexuals personally, but I don't recommend the former (it leads to rocky first years and animosity deep below).

[Vae]

As a gray-a, I can completely agree with the above sentiment.

It's absolutely fucking frustrating being with a partner that expects more sexual contact than you're willing to indulge in.
Especially when you don't know enough about yourself, beforehand, to warn them in advance about it.
And especially when the social stigma that exists is "OH BUT YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP, SO YOU GOTTA. OTHERWISE YOU DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT THEM, RIGHT?"

[deconstructed furry]

1 hour ago, Mentova said:

I wish I was both sometimes, does that count?

That's my wish all the time, honestly. Though I'm sure I'd find other reason to hate myself.

1 hour ago, Kellie Gator said:

I am so tired of hearing people wishing they were asexual because they can't handle being virgins or whatever.

I imagine that must be even more annoying for those of you who are asexual, no?

I mean, haven't you ever wanted something so bad... something that you'll never be able to have? It's upsetting, to say the least. It'd be great to be able to rid the feelings of wanting it to begin with.

1 hour ago, Mentova said:

I'm just saying being lonely all the time is fucking awful and it would be nice not to give a shit about it.

Exactly.

1 hour ago, Vae said:

Asexuality is not about being lonely. In fact, you can be lonely and ace at the same time, because not all emotional relationships entail sex.

But what I got from Mentova's post is simply that it seems ideal from the outside perspective.
Which is understandable.
People idealize the opposite of what causes them problems.

Either way, asexuality and aromanticism aren't mental disorders, so I don't see why it's something worth being offended over.
I get jealous over aromantics, myself, because I tend to get way too emotionally attached to someone when I feel romantic attraction.

Same. Again I'm fine with jacking off to relieve sexual tension. I just hate that I want cuddles and kissing after, and nobody around to do that.

1 hour ago, Kellie Gator said:

I know all too well how you feel but emotional independence is something all of us can achieve, without needing to be asexual which is probably impossible.

Or you could just fuck up your body by becoming morbidly obese or some shit. :U

Getting fat would even lessen the chances of finding romance or sex (unless you find people who are into that sorta thing...).

Like my problem is I've experienced romance before... I'm not a relationship virgin... and it was good. I want more. I was happy in relationships.

59 minutes ago, Mentova said:

Alright, on it

Also to clarify I don't literally sit there and daydream about how life would be better if I was asexual/romantic, its just a thought I have sometimes when super depressed. >_>

For me it is an everyday obsessive thought tbh that I know I need to rid myself of but don't know how to.

[Vaer]

Asexual-Homoromantic in a relationship with a Homosexual partner chiming in.

I, for one, don't really enjoy the act of sexual intercourse, but understand that I do like and enjoy it, I just don't wish to be a part of it. 

Have I had sex? Yes. Enough times.
Would I again? Maybe. If I decided I want to.
Does that still make me Asexual? YES. Just because I'm willing doesn't mean I still don't like it.

A lot of people would assume that an Asexual-Sexual relationship is a little rough given the differences of each partners needs. But what relationship doesn't have its issues?

Sex is only an issue due to the perpetuated idea that relationships NEED sex to thrive.

@Vae put it nicely: "...especially when the social stigma that exists is 'OH BUT YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP, SO YOU GOTTA. OTHERWISE YOU DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT THEM, RIGHT?'"

Our relationship has indeed had its troubles but sex was never a big problem. It's all about communication and compromise. 

Is it frustrating for him? A little. He does enjoy his coitus. 
Is it frustrating for me? A little. I'd rather spend our intimate time doing something else.

But we make it work. I'm, of course, not going into detail about how we make it work, but we do.

 

I am now open for questions. :v

Edited March 8, 2016 by Vaer

[willow]

hmmmmmm...

smells like Eversleep

[Conker]

I'm very much aromantic. I lump myself in with asexuality but now and then I'm not sure if that' label fits all that well. It's easier than worrying about it though.

[ShioBear]

Yeah I'm not asexual but my furfag girlfriend is. My luck I find a woman who is so almost perfect it's insane, yet she is asexual. Or has a sexual disorder. I'm still not convinced that all esexual aren't just suffering from a lack of hormones or some shit. But I don't care really. Sucks tho because  I'm not sure if I can stay with her and damn does that break my heart in two but I mean some people have needs others can't  offer. Refrain from the social justice comments I really just don't care but I suppose a laugh could help my situation.

Edited March 9, 2016 by ShioBear
Error

[Clove Darkwave]

It doesn't sound like love is what you have, I hope you're being honest to her.

[ShioBear]

1 minute ago, Clove Darkwave said:

It doesn't sound like love is what you have, I hope you're being honest to her.

I would not expect you to understand but you can love someone  and also be in a situation that can't work. Normal human relationships tend to need a healthy sex life.  

[Clove Darkwave]

1 minute ago, ShioBear said:

I would not expect you to understand but you can love someone  and also be in a situation that can't work. Normal human relationships tend to need a healthy sex life.  

Yes, I couldn't imagine how I could understand anything like that.

Good luck.

[ShioBear]

1 minute ago, Clove Darkwave said:

Yes, I couldn't imagine how I could understand anything like that.

Good luck.

One thing that boils my blood is when people assume they know if your in love or not with whoever it is your with.  Trust me I know I'm 24 I've been around. Only reason I am being a dick right now. 

[Kinharia]

Felt Asexual for a long time. The only time I feel any sexual feelings is with my boyfriend. Functionally Asexual?

[willow]

26 minutes ago, ShioBear said:

 Normal human relationships tend to need a healthy sex life.  

if you think that relationships need sex in order to be considered normal or whatever, then boy do I have news for you

[Alexxx-Returns]

I wonder sometimes. I used to have a sex drive but I often fear it's died. The anti-depressants definitely don't help. I feel like I only masturbate out of habit but, that's the only reason I've ever done it really.

But when I'm attracted to someone, I want the sex with them. It's more of a psychological want than a physical want, like, maybe I want the sex to have the closeness/intimacy with them? To feel special to them? To make me feel like they're special to me? I dunno. Even in the heat of the moment, I have little sex drive.

[Vallium]

@Kellie Gator Well gosh I mean no harm :T In my case it has nothing to do with being lonely and being unable to get some I just perceive having sexual attraction as being somehow 'wrong' because that's how I was taught, and having an inborn sexual attraction is pretty weird at times because of those conflicting ideas and guilt factor. I've had a lot of trouble with self acceptance and relationship stuff because of that sort of thing

Edited March 9, 2016 by WolfNightV4X1

[Ieono]

I have the desire to have sexual intercourse maybe once a month. I feel like I am an animal or something that goes into heat...it is a bit ridiculous. It is not dissimilar to pon farr, except without the dying. I literally become a huge perv with an insatiable appetite for about 2 or 3 days. Although, I have been with people who have made that period of time much longer...

Most of the time though, I guess I'm pretty much asexual. But, that might just be because of my determinator-nature when it comes to work. Oh, and I'm super duper romantic, so definitely not aromantic. I guess you could say I was brainwashed into it from all the romance shit that I read/watched/heard while growing up. Kudos to the folks who don't become hopeless romantics while growing up in America's love-obsessed culture. 

Thinking about this stuff is pretty fun! 

[Jerry]

I'll need time to figure out what I am on this matter. All I know for now is that I'm turned on by male bits. And big butts.

[Lucius]

I've found love and affection particularly off putting, one might even say they make me nauseous at times. I don't know why I'm this way. I haven't really seen myself in a relationship nor really cared to be in one. I think its best if I was alone for the benefit of others. I feel really bad when people miraculously crush on me (I mean for them, I'm very disappointing). Wouldn't say I cared for sex either, but all this will change when the anthros are real. ;-3

In all seriousness, I guess I am I fit the bill. Reality isn't as interesting as fantasy. :'c

[belmonkey]

I just know that I'm not terribly interested in having sex,  much to my mate's dismay because he needs it. I could personally get along just fine taking care of myself with pron; that seems to be what does interest me in that way: fantasy / furry stuff. Like above, I just kinda feel like the real can't compare to the fantasy.  Still,  I'm interested in romantic stuff,  or at least getting fairly close to people. It is quite difficult being in a asexual-sexual relationship (although  the asexual part itself is just not being interested in guys that way). 

[ShioBear]

On 3/9/2016 at 10:00 PM, willow said:

if you think that relationships need sex in order to be considered normal or whatever, then boy do I have news for you

Do you know what normal means? The majority. What I am saying is I need a healthy sex life like most people. This does not make me a bad person or anything of the like.  there are a few who don't and are OK with  a friendship/ romantic non sexual relationship wich  are not normal because they are not in the majority.  And both types are fine and just as important. I am not undermining those who don't need a healthy sex life I am just saying I am not one of those. And get off that high horse of yours 

Edited March 10, 2016 by ShioBear
Error

[Clove Darkwave]

I think the puzzlement comes from the perception that what you're saying boils down to "I love this girl she's perfect in every way, but since she won't put out I think I'm going to break up with her."

[willow]

Just now, ShioBear said:

Do you know what normal means? The majority. What I am saying is I need a healthy sex life like most people. This does not make me a bad person or anything of the like. Just because there are few who don't and are OK with  a friendship/ romantic non sexual  are not normal because they are not in the majority, however there is nothing  wrong with those relationships  

normal refers to something that's common. but something can be normal and not majority.

that being said, is sex a normal part of (intimate) human relationships? yes. but it's not always necessary nor does it really mean your relationship is healthy. you can have a normal human relationship, not have any sex, and still be healthy. if you feel you need it then umm, that sounds like a personal problem, dude

[ShioBear]

8 minutes ago, willow said:

normal refers to something that's common. but something can be normal and not majority.

that being said, is sex a normal part of (intimate) human relationships? yes. but it's not always necessary nor does it really mean your relationship is healthy. you can have a normal human relationship, not have any sex, and still be healthy. if you feel you need it then umm, that sounds like a personal problem, dude

OK so let me simplify it for you. I cannot be with a person I can't be intimate with " at all". You act like it is a problem to need intimacy. You are the one who has a problem if you feel the need to belittle me for having basic human needs. Looks like you need to take a break form the social juatice.

[willow]

13 minutes ago, ShioBear said:

OK so let me simplify it for you. I cannot be with a person I can't be intimate with " at all". You act like it is a problem to need intimacy. You are the one who has a problem if you feel the need to belittle me for having basic human needs. Looks like you need to take a break form the social juatice.

that's..not what I said at all but okay...

 

[Hakar-Kerarmor]

Sex is for faggots.