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Beatings


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I don’t remember the first time I took a beating. I just know that it happened often enough that I eventually got used to it. I had an older brother who was mentally handicapped. Everyone at school knew he was different and he was weak so they would try to beat him up.

Every day they would push him around and call him names. Every day I’d step in front of them and try and stop it. Every day I got beaten. There were just too many of them to fight all at once. So I got used to being beaten and I got used to losing fights. I’ve been in a lot of fights in my life but I don’t recall ever winning a single one.

After a while the other kids got tired of fighting me. I never made it easy for them. I would never go down with just one punch. If they were going to beat me they would have to work for it. I would fight back, take punch after punch, and keep fighting until I was lying face down on the pavement.

By the time I got to high school I was still an outcast. I was a geek and didn’t fit in at all. I wasn’t athletic or cool and I didn’t have many friends. It was a new school and so there was a new batch of bullies to deal with. In gym class I was put to the test by one of them in the first week of class.

He was an older student who had failed classes several times. He should have been at least one grade ahead of me. Instead he was in the same class as me. He instantly spotted me as a geek and a loser. So the insults started and I did something that nobody expected. I looked him dead in the eye and said loud enough that everyone could hear it “why don’t you go fuck your mother some more.”

He said “what did you say to me?!?” Leaning in to my face to threaten me. I leaned in towards him and stared into his eyes and said “Go fuck your mother!”

Then something strange happened. He looked into my eyes, smiled, and patted me on the back and said “you’re a funny guy.” There was no fight.

I know the reason why. He looked into my eyes and he knew I would fight him with everything I had. I would lose the fight. But I’d fight him hard enough that he’d be forced to put me in the hospital. He didn’t want to fight someone like me. So he defused the situation to save face.

I made it through high school without ever having to get into a single fight. Some people didn’t know how I managed this. Then I’d find out later on that a lot of people were scared of me and thought I was dangerous. This was before school shootings were a thing. So I was regarded as strange and troubled but I never really got in any trouble for it.

Since that time I’ve had lots of violent encounters including being mugged several times, stopping a gang from robbing an old lady on the subway, I’ve even walked into the middle of a convenience store robbery and stood toe to toe with the neighborhood crack dealer.

I remember getting a real good view of the jailhouse tattoos on his neck as he towered over me thinking that at any second I’d be in a fight to the death. Then much to the surprise of the entire neighborhood he walked away. I think he must have seen the same thing when he looked in my eyes.

These days I try to hide that part of me. I spend most of my time trying to be friendly and diplomatic. That’s just the nature of how I spend most of my time. I’m always afraid that when someone looks into my eyes they’ll see that part of me instead of the part that I want them to see.

So I guess you could say I’ve been beaten on many occasions but I’m glad I have not been defeated. 

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In a weird way I'm glad this thread is a thing, cuz I can talk about getting beat as a kid without someone exclaiming how I'm "so brave and strong"... I was eight. It was just a thing that happened to me. 

As far as that 'look', you know, like.. after a certain point, it doesn't scare you. People get scared of what they don't know. I know what its like to get the shit kicked out of me- my body lifted and thrown against a wall. I know what its like to receive a hit to the face so hard I can't see out of one eye and my face swells to the point I couldn't eat. I'm not afraid of getting hurt anymore and I know what its like. Its.. its hard when you're a victim, because when a person who has never been abused asks you what you'd do if you saw your attack again, "I would kill him" said in an even, calm voice can scare a person.

In school I just watched people and left things well enough alone- anytime I DID raise my voice a teacher always ran to hold my shoulders or hands- when you're brought back to earth like that from that kind of anger, it gets scary. You are scary. Even though you probably will lose a fight, you know you'll fight with that intent inside you. Its hard to remember your humanity like that. Nowadays I've cultivated the nice mom friend of the group, sure, and im sensitive and i'll cry, but there's a threshold for me that its very, very hard to come back from after you trigger it. 

But that look at those actions are a good reason to hide that from regular people. When you're treated like an animal, you grow a lot with that animal inside of you. I wonder if anyone else who posts in the thread feels the same. 

 

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2 hours ago, Lemon said:

When you're treated like an animal, you grow a lot with that animal inside of you. I wonder if anyone else who posts in the thread feels the same. 

Yup.

I don't much like talking about my deeper personal experiences with people I don't know well and trust not to judge me, so I won't go into too much detail, but yeah... At least in my case the abuse didn't go on my entire childhood, but I definitely felt a lot of the things you describe in your post and those emotions still pop up in me every so often, though I try not to let them.

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4 hours ago, Lemon said:

Its.. its hard when you're a victim, because when a person who has never been abused asks you what you'd do if you saw your attack again, "I would kill him" said in an even, calm voice can scare a person.

Mhm.

This may not be a good thing, but I'm not ashamed to admit I feel the same about two specific individuals I had to endure most of high school with. A group of friends and I were drunk one new years and one asked if we remembered "X." Apparently my reply was "Yea, I still wanna murder that cunt." And even right now just remembering him makes me pissed of to the point I start shaking. This is the guy who destroyed my entire sense of self worth over four years during a point in life where my mental and emotional stability were at their most fragile.

If I meet him again, my demons are coming out to play. I'm not confident I'll be able to decide otherwise, and I'm pretty sure I don;t want to.

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Around me, people had developed the mentality of "He's just the harmless little nerdy kid. You can't fight the harmless little nerdy kid". So nobody ever fought me.

There was this friend of mine-- he was really huge-- and he'd rough house everyone, playfully I guess, for fun. But he always said he'd never do it to me, and that if anyone ever tried to hurt me he'd intervene in an instant.

There was this one kid who always told me he wanted to fight on the last day of school, but he was all talk and ended up being too dumb to even make it to the end of school.

Weird how things work

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When I was around 3 - 5 years old there used to be a child on the street who bullied me for no reason, for example I would be riding my new bike and he would grab me off the bike and just start kicking me whilst his parents watched and did nothing to stop them.

When I was in primary education I would sometimes get beat up by this one guy in particular and whenever I fought back to defend myself suddenly I was the bad one!

There was a couple of teenagers when I was about 6 - 10 that would beat me up for some reason and there little brother who was the same age as me who used to be my friend then started doing the same to me.

Later I ended up getting diagnosed with ADHD and Autism and when I entered Secondary Education I got into a few fights on my first year and because I am classed as "mentally disabled" I was let off lightly whilst the others who initiated the fight got suspended. Found out a few years after I left school that the only reason no one bothered me again was "you were unpredictable and would get off lightly for whatever you did back" yay disabilities I think!

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13 minutes ago, Saxon said:

...Why does school bullying appear to be normal, from the posts thus far? :\ The teachers in your schools should have never let this happen.

This is depressing and one shudders to think how many people's confidence and outlook on life has been compromised by pointless playground nastiness. :\

Kids think they're invincible, obviously. The younger the kid is, the more likely they are to think they can fight like Action Man.

It's not always nastiness. Sometimes they seek the thrill of doing something exciting that no responsible adult will let them do. The rush of adrenaline that only rough play can provide.

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2 hours ago, Saxon said:

...Why does school bullying appear to be normal, from the posts thus far? :\ The teachers in your schools should have never let this happen.

Dunno about the situation elsewhere, but in Australia the extent of what a teacher could actually do amounts to fuck all.

By going forward all I would have done is antagonize them more. I thought about it a lot and in the two cases I mentioned there just wasn't a lot I could do. I was able to prevent letting myself become a target to others by hitting back when a third individual decided to harrass me as well. But he was much closer to my size and didn't actually have that much intimidation factor.

For the most part however the only real protection you'd have gotten back then was if other kids took your side. Guess how many did. :/

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2 hours ago, DrDingo said:

Around me, people had developed the mentality of "He's just the harmless little nerdy kid. You can't fight the harmless little nerdy kid". So nobody ever fought me.

MY SCHOOL HAD THAT EXACT SAME THING

There was this one kid who was just so harmless and lovely nobody could ever fight them, no matter how much of a dick you are, you couldn't lay a finger on him because he was just too sweet to beat up.

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1 minute ago, Saxon said:

When I got to secondary school / high school, everybody was broadly more mature, and whilst some teenagers were vandals and eventually got expelled, I don't remember anybody actually being repeatedly beaten up, like people are describing here.

For the most part this is true but it only takes one or two assholes who know just where to draw the line.

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2 hours ago, DrDingo said:

Around me, people had developed the mentality of "He's just the harmless little nerdy kid. You can't fight the harmless little nerdy kid". So nobody ever fought me.

All throughout middle school I was given this reputation so most knew not to try to fight me. They had nothing to gain from fighting me - except this one kid. Some phony rep he had as some sort of prankster or fighter got to his head and picked out a fight with me for no reason in sixth grade. We fought each year after that with nothing major really happening in each one.  After each fight I cried as it confirmed each suspicion of mine that life was terrible. I was 100% suicidal then and attempted it 3 times in all three years.

Freshman year in HS was for the most part peaceful. Made new friends, had a girlfriend and all - life was alright again. Then this other dude kept fucking around with the lab equipment, threw my papers around, making me no more than pissed.

I threatened to stab him in the neck with a pen. Then I got a 5 hour lecture from my dad about how it was wrong.

We're good friends now.

Sophomore year sucked.  There was nobody to talk to,  and nobody wanted to talk to me.  I was so quiet that I was given the reputation of "school shooter" as a joke: Until I had a little anxiety attack (it was terrible) a few months ago. Ever since that,  people have been more relaxed and nicer to me.

Thankfully, I've never had to fight anybody in HS because of all that right there. 

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I don't think I've ever been in a real fist fight. I've gotten suckered punch before and got my leg sliced open after standing up for myself, but overall I managed to avoid excessive bullying for the most part. There were usually better targets around me.

From the previous posts here, it looks like all of the kids in your schools had something to prove. I mean geez, I recall witnessing some instances of bullying and a few fights but that shit wasn't THAT common.

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I was very rarely beaten. I had a lot of anger issues in my early school days. All the way til highschool. A lot of it was do to my father treating me like a piece of shit or simply not being there at all. I had no good friends, either. I was always outcast and verbally abused. However, I was a big guy. No one wanted to fuck with me. They just took advantage of the fact I'd never hit someone. 

However, I was beat up about 3 times. Once in 4th grade, once in 7th, and once in 9th. 4th, i got sucker punched. 7th I lost after headbutting a guy and breaking his nose. 9th, I had refused to fight back. 

That's the short of it all. 

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I never got into a serious fist fight but I do remember one guy that I was frenemies with in middle school and we got into some scuffles.   He picked on me fairly regularly, but not really in a mean way, just in a somewhat violent toying sort of way.  I tried to hold my own and played along a bit, but he was quite a bit bigger than me and it got really annoying. Finely one day he came up and grabbed me from behind in the locker room and I'd had enough.  I put my feet against a bench and pushed back hard and sent us both backwards into wall of lockers.  He hit really hard against the metal locks.  Things were about to get more serious when some friends came over and broke us up.  Then I told him I was sick of his shit and he should fuck the hell off, and he did.  Later in High School we ended up being friends.

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i dunno, i would think disarming people who might otherwise have been violent with you would be a good thing.  but maybe i'm just not looking at it right

i've never really gotten into a serious fight or been beaten up.  doesn't mean people haven't physically hurt/attacked me, but for one reason or another (that reason usually being that it was one of my parents doing it), fighting back has never been much of a thing and none of the incidents have lasted long enough or been the type of thing to be considered a "beating".  i have been left with a few physical scars, but most things didn't have any visible lasting effects.

what gave me problems was not the physical incidents or the bullying from peers, though; it was the words and attitudes of adults in my life.  i stopped really caring about physical violence toward me, though it did help me "wake up" and realize that none of what they were doing was actually OK and that they were actually pretty shitty people.  around the time my mom tried to choke me, i thought "that's pretty psychotic" and suddenly it didn't matter at all.  neither did she.  i think that was around the time when i started arguing back and stopped being emotionally hurt by all the shit they said or did to me, but by that point, the damage was already done.  i guess better late than never, but the longer you go without standing up for yourself, the more scars you accumulate and the harder they are to heal.  if i had said something and fought for myself a long time ago, i'd be a whole different person today.  maybe i'd actually be a person today.  who knows.  at present, the best i can say for myself is that i'm still here.

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The bullying/beatings didn't stop for me til the combination of everyone thinking my trumpet case would hold a gun and making friends with the tallest, largest, most gentlest football player in the whole school (He was going for a football scholarship to pay for being a doctor or something, I don't remember.) He's probably the only reason I didn't turn into a vindictive racist like my former stepfather.

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I used to get in kerfuffles a lot with other kids because I was a huge smart ass as a child. I'd say shit to piss people off and they'd eventually come at me. I was never really bullied though, and I had a lot of friends. It's just that someone got tired of me telling them to "go suck your moms cock" one too many times over their opinion of peanut butter sandwiches. My parents, on the other hand, were very free with the belt and fist. I remember not being able to go to school because I was so badly bruised my parents were afraid CPS would come after them (again).

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I never got in any real fights in school, which is kind of crazy since I had a sarcastic mouth on me and my class was filled with assholes. I remember one time in elementary school, some kid wanted to fight me for no real reason. "MEET ME AT THIS PARK" he says, and I kinda shrugged and ignored him. Well, he shows up at the park and so do a few others from my class to beat his ass up for also no real reason. I wasn't there at all; heard about it the next day. He called me a pussy or something of the sort, and i was just "I dunno what's going on!"

In sixth grade, I pissed some kids off and they tried to get to my house before I did so they could beat me up there. I beat em home and that was that. Had a BB gun, but I think they mostly ran away because they couldn't fight me if I was inside.

Almost got into a few fights in highschool (stabbed a kid with a pencil), but they never escalated to much more than a few shoves and some bad words. This was mostly my Freshman year, and as school went on, those classmates who really didn't like me either dropped out or transferred.

When I was younger, I"d think about fights and what I"d do if I got in one. It's all bravado bullshit though. If I got in one now, I'd lose straight up. I ain't in shape, and my threshold for pain isn't what you'd call high. I'm a talker not a fighter. I'm also not gonna sit here and go, "I could take a punch" because one would very likely knock my ass out.

It's not a good feeling, really. I know I should better my body--though less because of maybe getting into a fight and more because I find being flabby to be disgusting. See, earlier this year I fucked off to a Nightwish concert with my family. Was a big ol' thing and I was having a blast. Problem is, the venue was overpacked and there were hardly any security people. Goers started to get rowdy. Me and my mom were closer to the front, and we decided to head backwards since a big drunk dude behind us was acting like a dick, and i'ts not like we couldn't hear the music from far away.

So we go to pass him and he shoves both of us and screams something unintelligible. It might have been, "NOT FAIR" or something like that. Dunno. Dude weighted a good hundred pounds more than me and was at least a head taller. Nothin' I could do but say, "dude we're tryin' to get out of your way." He swore, just a "fuck" and then let us pass. It didn't get violent, nothing more than a drunken shove which ain't exactly out of the ordinary at a metal concert, yet I haven't felt that helpless in awhile and it's kinda stuck. I wanted to kill that motherfucker, and I damn well know I couldn't. Probably not eve with a knife. I am small. He was not.

But talking worked! Drunk or not, talking worked. Maybe that means something. Not sure though.

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Never got into fistfights as a kid (except with my brother) because I could always talk my way out of any situation

Got the beatins as punishment from my parents though, wooden spoon, Tabasco sauce, soap in mouth, etc.

 

wait, no i was threatened ot be stabbed twice in highschool

first time was based on a complete rumor, apparently I'd called my friend a slut, and her friends wanted to stab me when i was heading home?
second time was a long story, but long story short some guys accused me of being a "rat", locked me in a room with them and a pair of scissors

at this point in my life i just didn't care about anything anymore. i don't think they bothered partly because at this point, i had the monotonous, emotionless personality down pat and you couldn't tell if i was shaken up

it did enrage me though and ill never forgive or forget

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1 minute ago, Sylver said:

My school's mentality when I was a kid:

"Oh, he punched you...AND YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD BE OKAY TO RETALIATE?!?!?!?!"
"YOU SHOULD HAVE REPORTED IT TO A TEACHER! How dare you defend yourself!"

My school as well. Its fucking bullshit, especially when most of the bullies almost always had a hundred-fifty pounds and two feet on me for most of it ._.

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12 minutes ago, Sylver said:

It's pure comedy. I didn't mention the worst part. We were told we'd be punished more severely (yes, a worse punishment) for retaliating, than the person who actually attacked us.

I cannot stop laughing. Seriously, what were these guys smoking?

Presumably whatever it is spineless teachers and staff smoke when they can't handle angry parents yelling at them because their 'little angels' just couldn't possibly be actually horrible monsters.

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4 hours ago, Sylver said:

My school's mentality when I was a kid:

"Oh, he punched you...AND YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD BE OKAY TO RETALIATE?!?!?!?!"
"YOU SHOULD HAVE REPORTED IT TO A TEACHER! How dare you defend yourself!"

Honest to fucking god. We were literally told we'd be punished for retaliating. We were even punished for simply being a fucking victim. You were punched? Well fuck you, you're gettin' suspended as well. Nobody "bullies" people without a reason, you must have provoked him! LIAR! One of the bullies even stood up for the kid he bullied and said he had nothing to do with it. The victim was still suspended. The two later became friends (united by hatred for the school).

Yeah my schools were like that too. "No tolerance" policies can be shitty. My guess is it's supposed to defeat the possibility of favoritism by students lying about who started it or something.

Quote

A month or so later, a target sign with "HIT ME" finds its way onto Dylan's back. The person who put it there knows Dylan will be one of the first people out of class, and he knows who will see the target sign; one of them will be Reece. Reece is a very large hot-headed moron who doesn't care about losing his lunchtimes, and is the most likely to react to this sign inviting him to punch Dylan. The person doesn't know for sure, and doubts it will work. To the person's surprise, Reece sees the sign and looks to his friends before locking on to Dylan's back. Boom, boom. Boom, boom. You can feel the wooden floor shudder slightly when each foot hits the floor as Reece sprints towards Dylan. With an audible 'thump' Reece punches Dylan on the back, the force drops him to the floor. The person didn't expect it to work, or to have that type of result. Dylan cried (obviously) and couldn't get up for about a minute. When they asked who put the note on his back, nobody knew who put it there.

It wasn't a complex idea or anything. I found the computer logged in during lunch, nobody was around, so I thought "fuck it, why not" and made one and printed it out. I hid the paper in my books (the sticky tape was a pain in the ass to hide and not ruin), and stuck it on his back when nobody was looking. Arguably, the hardest part was getting it on his back without him feeling anything (and making sure I wasn't seen).

Revenge was sweet.

Hahaha that's brutal.

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1 hour ago, Saxon said:

It upsets me that your mum would do this to you. She's meant to be the person who would still love you even if you were a total arsehole.

the part that gets to me is that i never even was one.  she's just like that, and i don't think she ever really liked me, so that didn't help much, either.  i could write a book on her crazy, but i'm the one she thinks is mentally deficient--get this--because i don't like talking to her and a few other people who have treated me similarly.  i wanna say "they're oblivious to the fact that they might somehow be the cause of another person not getting along with them" (she acts the same way with my sister, who doesn't talk to anyone, like she has no idea what's wrong with the girl) ...but it could also just be denial.  my family never takes responsibility for anything.

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21 hours ago, Gator said:

what gave me problems was not the physical incidents or the bullying from peers, though; it was the words and attitudes of adults in my life.  i stopped really caring about physical violence toward me, though it did help me "wake up" and realize that none of what they were doing was actually OK and that they were actually pretty shitty people.  around the time my mom tried to choke me, i thought "that's pretty psychotic" and suddenly it didn't matter at all.  neither did she.  i think that was around the time when i started arguing back and stopped being emotionally hurt by all the shit they said or did to me, but by that point, the damage was already done.  i guess better late than never, but the longer you go without standing up for yourself, the more scars you accumulate and the harder they are to heal.  if i had said something and fought for myself a long time ago, i'd be a whole different person today.  maybe i'd actually be a person today.  who knows.  at present, the best i can say for myself is that i'm still here.

i get that. You feel certain things for such a long time you eventually just become numb to it.

hope you're doing okay

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4 minutes ago, Wax said:

i get that. You feel certain things for such a long time you eventually just become numb to it.

hope you're doing okay

i guess it depends on how you define okay.  i have a lot to sort out and i think it's getting to me, but i'm still doing it and making slow progress, so that's a thing.  i'm still "afraid" of my family, for lack of a better word, because i still haven't really reached a point where i can handle confrontation well and i know that's all that i'll get out of them.  but eh, the more i gain independence, the less it matters.

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6 minutes ago, Sylver said:

My psychiatrist was talking about this. Apparently the latest 'trend' is bipolar disorder. Parents see their kid acting up, but they want to know that it's not their fault. So they think, "It must be my kid; can't be me."

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This is one of the few things that bother me.

with me it was "autism", which they had me believing i actually had for years until i went to a doctor by myself and read through my own files, in which there was no actual diagnosis of any such thing--just a suggestion influenced by lies my mom told the doctors when i was a kid (literally lies, right there in the file). 

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10 hours ago, root said:

Jesus I didn't know Phoenix had so many people from abusive families/environments. How do you people deal with that kinda crap without becoming suicidal?

It's just part of life for many people, I doubt many get through it unscathed in the long term. I sure as fuck didn't.

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4 hours ago, Gator said:

i guess it depends on how you define okay.  i have a lot to sort out and i think it's getting to me, but i'm still doing it and making slow progress, so that's a thing.  i'm still "afraid" of my family, for lack of a better word, because i still haven't really reached a point where i can handle confrontation well and i know that's all that i'll get out of them.  but eh, the more i gain independence, the less it matters.

i wish you the best of luck in everything you do. you can always PM me if you wanna talk about anything

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13 hours ago, root said:

Jesus I didn't know Phoenix had so many people from abusive families/environments. How do you people deal with that kinda crap without becoming suicidal?

I've long held a theory that furries have crappy lives. 

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7 hours ago, Gator said:

the part that gets to me is that i never even was one.  she's just like that, and i don't think she ever really liked me, so that didn't help much, either.  i could write a book on her crazy, but i'm the one she thinks is mentally deficient--get this--because i don't like talking to her and a few other people who have treated me similarly.  i wanna say "they're oblivious to the fact that they might somehow be the cause of another person not getting along with them" (she acts the same way with my sister, who doesn't talk to anyone, like she has no idea what's wrong with the girl) ...but it could also just be denial.  my family never takes responsibility for anything.

Your family pisses me off so much sometimes. I swear they're all some kind of fucked up. Your grandma witnessed actual abuse from your stepdad and mom to your little sister and claimed she was distressed by it, but when it came up that maybe she could help she back pedaled and tried to pin it all on your sister being "disrespectful and dramatic". It makes me think the only reason she even got upset at that was because she hates your stepdad and this was something she could complain about. Your mom is a two-faced cunt and a half who is fueled by money and drama. Every time one of them gets all teary and starts playing the victim it actually makes me mad. They sit in their little circle and talk shit and generally disapprove of all things that make Jesus cry but none of them can be assed to actually DO anything unless it involves trying to control someone who is totally powerless to defend themselves. 

Your sister doesn't want to talk to anyone because she's surrounded by abusive assholes and she knows no one is going to help her. And you know what? I think your family fucking KNOWS that  but they want to ignore and deny this shit as hard as they can so they don't come out looking like the bad guys in this scenario. Those fuckers are guilty as hell but they won't own up to it because that would mean they'd have to admit to being shitty people. 

OT: I've had a couple of beatings. Once in high school I got dragged into a bathroom in the unfinished hallway at our school and a couple of other kids smacked me around a bit. I got bullied off and on throughout high school for different reasons, from being a red-head to being "weird". Honestly the hazing I got in school didn't bother me too much because it was just dumb high school stuff and even back then I had worse things to worry about.

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On ‎6‎/‎8‎/‎2016 at 4:02 AM, Saxon said:

...Why does school bullying appear to be normal, from the posts thus far? :\ The teachers in your schools should have never let this happen.

This is depressing and one shudders to think how many people's confidence and outlook on life has been compromised by pointless playground nastiness. :\

Because the bullies have nothing to fear. This country has successfully raised an entire generation of disgustingly wussy children to just passively "walk away" from a physical confrontation with a bully (which is a sign of weakness in the eyes of said child's tormentor), to somehow "ignore" goading remarks from a bully (which is downright impossible and frighteningly ineffective), and to go and seek help from elements of the school's staff body (whom, most of the time, don't even do anything, with their interference often causing the bullying to intensify exponentially).

The bile scribbled all over this page never helped me in the slightest bit when I was growing up. When trying to shake off yet another article of valueless human refuse, the one method that consistently yielded positive results was to beat the literal blood and piss out of it. Sure, I'd get suspended and receive an absolutely undeserved beating from my father when he returned from work (since I never, under any circumstance, hit first), but that degenerate little piece of garbage learned his placed and fucked off for good. It was either endure that kid's violent attacks and emasculating remarks for the better part of a year (and thereby inviting more bullies to physically and emotionally harm me) or turn his face into hamburger meat, tank a suspension and a leather belt to the ass, and return to school after about a week with a glowing grin etched across my face. Those were the crappy choices you were met with when I was 12: savage the bully like some uncivilized, unkempt animal or act as his doormat.

The fact that a large number of US schools suspend rule-abiding children for defending themselves only hurts the kids who actually want to be in school for the right reasons.

The bullies don't care about being suspended.

They don't care period.

 

 

 

 

 

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6 minutes ago, Ricky said:

The teachers in my school were afraid of the students growing up, when I was in public school anyway.

There were so many fights on my bus (a few which I was a part of) the bus driver simply ignored them.

^This. And if they weren't afraid of the students they were petrified of the parents, or both. My elementary school had permanent police presence all day, under the guise of 'directing buses', but mostly it was to reign in problem students and drag them into the back of the cop's car if one of the teachers had a panic attack and just couldn't deal with one of the junior monsters beating on half the class because they could.

And there were perhaps two or three bus drivers who gave enough of a shit to put a stop to things, and for the ones who didn't give a shit, well, then you'd even have the damn under-shits from third to fifth grades biting and trying to steal your shit, because if you hit them for any reason their parents will try and get you thrown in jail, even if they were barely civilized animals.

Never send your kids to a school where almost the entire area it services is poor and filled with minorities. Just so bad. So bad.

To be honest I think the only reason I didn't turn out to be a vindictive racist was because both my alcoholic stepfathers were, and I hated them both so goddamn much.

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17 minutes ago, Saxon said:

I think the endemic violence you are describing is entirely the fault of adults for raising reprehensibly violent children, and you can imagine that teaching your child by hitting them, isn't exactly going to teach them that hitting other people is unacceptable

"I'm glad my parents beat the ever living shit out of me whenever I misbehaved. I ended up turning into a completely normal functioning adult with absolutely no psychological issues what so ever! I respect authority because of them! The whole problem with today's youth is they aren't getting enough black eyes and broken ribs, so they don't respect anyone! Stupid liberals think you can talk sense into children! Ha, bunch of damn pussies" - Comment on every issue concerning bad parenting

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I was always the subject of verbal abuse and shit talking behind my back, never physical violence in school. I think that sort of thing is a gendered kind of ballpark, somewhat

We had strict anti bullying campaigns in Elementary and middle school, stuff that would show how fucked up bullying was from the victim's perspective, like actual dramatization videos they would show kids, no violence or emotions barred, to show how real of an issue bullying was. I guess thats a reason we didnt often have much, that and being from better parts of town.

I was manhandled once in Elementary school though, mostly as a game or joke but the kid would drag me under the chair, pretend to piss on me, and then yank me out as if he just discovered me under there. It was weirf as hell and I just stared blankly dumbfounded at him.

 

I was always the recluse throughout school anyways, so target or not I didnt associate with anyone enough to warrant anything past verbal abuse

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As a child, I was terribly angry. I was repressed inside and held grudges inside, and as such I found no peace. This was after one incident in 5th grade of many people, including those I held as friends, beat me up on the playground. They were weak and little damage was done.

In high school someone slammed my face into a locker like a coward and I wanted to hurt him real bad but I never got the chance (even if I did, I was an uneducated kid and honestly probably wouldn't leave bruises).

Latter in life, I've started to find peace... but it wasnt easy. I started studying silat, where even if you are gutted you will destroy anybody oppossing you as much as you please. Simple punches and the like become a joke.

I became seeking of the wrong thing, walking down the path that would only lead in death. 

I've since learned peace although I can easily defend myself against others. The thing is, I've also gotten good at diplomacy.. people just get defused by me, which is really the best result for them.

 

I still get bloodlust at times, where I feel like smiling and licking my lips because I would enjoy the destruction.... but I still manage to go the route of peace.

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19 hours ago, Saxon said:

I think the endemic violence you are describing is entirely the fault of adults for raising reprehensibly violent children, and you can imagine that teaching your child by hitting them, isn't exactly going to teach them that hitting other people is unacceptable.

Believe it or not, a larger problem that has gotten worse over time is a biological father not being present. Apparently step-fathers don't count :V

Shitty parenting is also a factor as well as genetic factors predisposing people to aggressive tendencies.

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2 hours ago, Ricky said:

Believe it or not, a larger problem that has gotten worse over time is a biological father not being present. Apparently step-fathers don't count :V

Shitty parenting is also a factor as well as genetic factors predisposing people to aggressive tendencies.

If the parenting is horrible is does not matter how many parents you have but I do believe that every child should be raised in a two parent household. 

It is healthy for a child to see adults disagree, argue, debate, or have different points of view and still kiss and make up and love each other. 

A single parent household where the single parent can hold forth endlessly on how much they dislike the parent who isn't there is toxic and one sided and not a good environment for anyone to be raised in. 

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11 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

If the parenting is horrible is does not matter how many parents you have but I do believe that every child should be raised in a two parent household. 

It is healthy for a child to see adults disagree, argue, debate, or have different points of view and still kiss and make up and love each other. 

A single parent household where the single parent can hold forth endlessly on how much they dislike the parent who isn't there is toxic and one sided and not a good environment for anyone to be raised in. 

Well, this is what I was getting at:

Quote

 

HANDBOOK OF PSYCHOPATHY, CHRISTOPHER J. PATRICK, 2006

IMPORTANCE OF FATHERS

There is a striking correlation, at least in the United States, between fatherless rearing and subsequent social pathology. Of the juveniles incarcerated in the United States for serious crimes during the 1980s, about 70% had been reared without fathers (Beck, Kline, & Greenfield, 1988; Sullivan, 1992). Of the antisocial boys studied at the Oregon Social Learning Center, fewer than 30% came from intact families (Forgatch, Patterson, & Ray, 1994). Of the more than 130,000 teenagers who ran away from home in the United States during 1994, 72% were leaving single-parent homes (Snyder & Sickmund, 1995). A 1994 study of “baby truants” in St. Paul, Minnesota—elementary school pupils who had more than 22 unexcused absences in the year—found that 70% were being reared by single mothers (Foster, 1994). Nationally, about 70% of teenage girls who have out-of-wedlock babies were raised without fathers (Kristol, 1994). A survey by the county attorney in Minneapolis of 135 children who had been referred for crimes ranging from theft, vandalism, and burglary to arson, assault, and criminal sexual conduct—youngsters ages 9 or younger—found that 70% of these children were living in single-parent (almost always single-mother) homes (Wiig, 1995). If the baserate for fatherless rearing of today’s teenagers is 30% (which is the best current estimate, although this rate is growing alarmingly), then one can calculate that the risk for social pathologies ranging from delinquency to death is about seven times higher for youngsters raised without fathers than for those reared by both biological parents. Calculation separately, on reasonable assumptions, for white and black youngsters, yields the same results for both (Lykken, 1995, p. 215).

Correlation does not, of course, prove a direct causal connection. Fatherless children may be at higher risk because single or divorced mothers tend to have to live in impoverished circumstances, often in bad neighborhoods. The biological parents of fatherless children may pass on to their offspring genetic disadvantages, lower IQs, or difficult temperaments. Women (and girls) who end up as single mothers may on average be less competent as parents, either because of their personal limitations or because parenting is simply too difficult and relentlessly demanding for most individuals to accomplish it successfully alone.

In an important recent paper, Harper and McLanahan (1998) analyzed the data from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth (NLSY) to determine whether the increased crime rate among boys reared without fathers can be attributed to the fact that such children tend more often to be poor, to be black, to live in central cities, or to have been born to teenage mothers. Even after controlling for all of these factors, family structure remained the strongest predictor of the boy’s incarceration by age 30. It is interesting that the presence of a stepfather did not decrease the risk associated with mother-only rearing, whereas boys reared by single fathers were no more at risk for serious delinquency—and subsequent sociopathy—than those brought up by both biological parents. This suggests that while the mother’s role in childrearing is of central importance, the biological fathers function as an important socializing role model.

 

 

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