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Summercat

Wish Corruptor

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Granted, but he writes it in ancient Summerian and nobody can translate it.

I wish just one of the dates I get would turn out not to be an absolute train wreck psycho bitch with five kids and an insecurity complex.

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14 minutes ago, PadrinGaledeep said:

Granted, now your gay.

But they are still physco's with 5 kids? :v

 

Granted, it explodes in your face.

 

I wish Oderus Urungus never vanished and still sang for GWAR (r.i.p dave brockie)

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2 minutes ago, PadrinGaledeep said:

Nah, he's in the clear with that too lol.

 

Granted, but you can never listen to them again.

I wish I knew what GWAR was.

Granted, I ain't corrupting it.

Old Gwar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NzA4XLjRaM

New Gwar

 

I wish that the link stayed a link and not as an actual media thingiemajig.

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Granted. With your hair out of the way, every bug near you now wants to touch your eyes and land in your ears.

I wish for a way to mask the fresh furry smell.

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Granted. Assuming you're talking about US currency, you now have 50 kilograms of pennies in your pocket. Good luck picking your pants back up!

I wish for an endless supply of electricity.

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Granted. you don't do work again. because of this, you have no way of making money which means you cant afford to buy anything, so you rely on family and friends who in turn get annoyed with you from buying all your stuff, so you get kicked out and become homeless all because you wished not to do yard work today. :/

I wish for a professional sony camcorder.

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You are now incredibly diligent, thriving on planning and carrying out activities. You become excellent at eliminating any obstacles to completing tasks. You're so good in fact that you neglect all social activities, friendships, and relations. You ultimately die alone in despair, having discovered the futility of all your accomplishments.

I wish for a more cheerful disposition.

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Granted, but its a currency from the future, therefore not recognized by any country as usable tender.

I wish I had better circulation so I could handle the cold better.

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Redacted. Didn't notice I was on the wrong page.

On 13 December 2015 at 1:49 AM, TheGreatFanatic said:

I wish for some StrawBerries.

Granted! Here are some berries made entirely of straw.

I wish Wikipedia would stop begging for donations.

Edited by Faust

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Granted. A guy called Dosh rapes you.
 (weow)

 

I wish I had enough money to afford seeing Motörhead in Scotland, going to Bordeaux, going to Confuzzeled and keeping my Foxbutt for two weeks in the summer this year ^_^

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Granted, you have the money to go see the concert, but someone steals your tickets. Bordeaux is destroyed in an ISIS attack. Confuzzled is cancelled, and your Foxbutt mysteriously disappeared.

 

I wish that I don't get fired today. (For realz tho)

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I can't corrupt this. The company that fires you is taken to court for obscene work violations, you are awarded a massive payout that sees you through until your next job.

 

I wish for a potato.

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34 minutes ago, WolfNightV4X1 said:

Granted, but she's passed out on your carpet in a food coma

Actually that might be even better (mwahahaha)

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Nuuuuu!

 

You will never lay your feet, nose, mouth, orifices, paws, whatever on me in such an ebil manner!

 

I wish for lasagne.

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29 minutes ago, Faust said:

Actually that might be even better (mwahahaha)

>:C Ew no rape mister! I'm calling the SJW police on you

Granted, but you must stare at it longingly on a shelf and never eat it

I wish I had friends

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43 minutes ago, Kinharia said:

Granted. You have me. 0__0

 

I wish I could get free food from the supermarket.

So the caveat is that I have you as a friend? Is it that bad? :v

Granted, but the only free food you ever get is spoiled

I wish I could change my identity into Frederick Von Tinselton and life in a wooden shack at the edge of a forest near a busy city center

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Granted but the city becomes massively built up, and your shack is torn down to make way for a Whole Foods.

I wish I were more sneaky so I could eat christmas cookie dough without being caught and told that I am spoiling my dinner.

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Granted.
You immediately learn that all of reality is false and that you are in a simulation. Your process is then terminated.

I wish the liquid in Bud Light cans was entirely replaced by backwoods moonshine.

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33 minutes ago, Onnes said:

Granted.
You immediately learn that all of reality is false and that you are in a simulation. Your process is then terminated.

I already knew that.

 

Granted. It tastes terrible.

I wish I didn't have the urge to spoil StarWars.

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