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Human boomerangs


Red Lion
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No matter how crabby and unpleasant you are to them, they keep coming back. These individuals prove to be consistently impervious to rejection.  I've got two right now and no matter what I do they keep seeking out my company in the hopes that if they keep plying me with their patronizing affections I'll cave and we'll all have a magical care-bear worthy moment of emotional breakthrough. They're like obnoxious little barnacles that have latched on to my left ass-cheek. Doesn't help that one of them has never met Gator but he still actively hates him and looks for any excuse to criticize my taste in partner.  

Anyone got barnacle removal tips?

Where do I get a copy of "how to lose a human boomerang 101"?

Better yet anyone got any amusing stories of run-ins with this type?

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1 minute ago, Another Ampers& said:

then they're knowingly violating your boundaries

block them

I have them blocked on most of my messengers but that doesn't help when I run into them IRL. One of them lives in a different section of the same neighborhood I do. 

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DESTROY THEM.

But all seriousness, perhaps try to explain it to them in those words that nomatter how hard they force it, it ain't gonna happen. They need to back da fuck off, especially if they think it's okay to run your partner down to you.

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Just now, Red Lion said:

I have them blocked on most of my messengers but that doesn't help when I run into them IRL. One of them lives in a different section of the same neighborhood I do. 

ohhhh this is an irl thing

yeah I had an issue with an irl stalker and literally nothing worked. He might still be creeping around asking my old highschool friends for updates about me

don't know what to tell you! There's no laws against people purposely annoying you unless they cause you actual like, provable harm

I can tell you tho that assuming a new name and identity has helped me avoid ppl in the past \:3/

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2 minutes ago, Revates said:

DESTROY THEM.

But all seriousness, perhaps try to explain it to them in those words that nomatter how hard they force it, it ain't gonna happen. They need to back da fuck off, especially if they think it's okay to run your partner down to you.

If this doesnt work, there is ONE thing that will!

But you gotta commit. You gotta really want these people out of your life and you gotta stick to your guns. No giggling or breaking down, make the weirdest face you can at them, and hold it. Dont speak, dont make eye contact, just hold the face until they leave. It works 10/10 as long as you commit. 

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1 minute ago, Another Ampers& said:

ohhhh this is an irl thing

yeah I had an issue with an irl stalker and literally nothing worked. He might still be creeping around asking my old highschool friends for updates about me

don't know what to tell you! There's no laws against people purposely annoying you unless they cause you actual like, provable harm

I can tell you tho that assuming a new name and identity has helped me avoid ppl in the past \:3/

;n; yup. They aren't even stalking me, we share friends so we end up crossing paths.

The thing that makes it hard to get along with them (aside from bashing my partner) is the very fact that they ARE trying so damn hard to befriend me. Not even because they like me, but because they think I'm depressed and they feel sorry for me. 

 

4 minutes ago, MissFleece said:

If this doesnt work, there is ONE thing that will!

But you gotta commit. You gotta really want these people out of your life and you gotta stick to your guns. No giggling or breaking down, make the weirdest face you can at them, and hold it. Dont speak, dont make eye contact, just hold the face until they leave. It works 10/10 as long as you commit. 

Gonna go practice my gonkiest face just so I can try this.

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Just now, Red Lion said:

;n; yup. They aren't even stalking me, we share friends so we end up crossing paths.

The thing that makes it hard to get along with them (aside from bashing my partner) is the very fact that they ARE trying so damn hard to befriend me. Not even because they like me, but because they think I'm depressed and they feel sorry for me. 

what's really confusing me is like

you and gator are like... so similar... like if you gave me 10 posts from the both of you and asked me to decide who said what I'd be unable to differentiate

so how in the hell do they love you so much but hate your partner, unless there's something specific about him being your partner that is making them upset

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Just now, Another Ampers& said:

what's really confusing me is like

you and gator are like... so similar... like if you gave me 10 posts from the both of you and asked me to decide who said what I'd be unable to differentiate

so how in the hell do they love you so much but hate your partner, unless there's something specific about him being your partner that is making them upset

Gator and I have similar opinions but he's actually way more extroverted than I am. Got more of a light hearted sense of humor than me too. If one of us is going to join in with shit posting or making spongebob references that'll be him. The dude hates Gator because since I was 15 I have had only one BFF and that has always been Gator and for the life of him this guy can't seem to figure out what makes Gator so special that I love him the most. 

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Just now, Red Lion said:

Gator and I have similar opinions but he's actually way more extroverted than I am. Got more of a light hearted sense of humor than me too. If one of us is going to join in with shit posting or making spongebob references that'll be him. The dude hates Gator because since I was 15 I have had only one BFF and that has always been Gator and for the life of him this guy can't seem to figure out what makes Gator so special that I love him the most. 

I don't think you've said much to disprove my theory that this guy Wants You

from my experience guys like that are only so determined because they're horny :/

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1 minute ago, Another Ampers& said:

I don't think you've said much to disprove my theory that this guy Wants You

from my experience guys like that are only so determined because they're horny :/

I think it also bothers him that Gator is male, I typically have only hooked up with females in the past and none of that ever bothered him. 

TBH I don't get this guy and I tend to just avoid him when possible. 

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3 minutes ago, Sylver said:

I'm not at all experienced in relationships, but I can offer a logical method for dealing with it:

He comes back for a reason. Fine out what that reason is. Remove it. At the same time, find out what he dislikes, and make him believe you possess those undesirable traits.

If his criticisms of gator are to be believed, he dislikes short redneck guys who work at Walmart. I am none of those things. XP

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1 minute ago, Red Lion said:

If his criticisms of gator are to be believed, he dislikes short redneck guys who work at Walmart. I am none of those things. XP

shave off your heels, get a sunburn, and quit your job to get one at walmart.

these are the extremes you must be willing to take.

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Lure them into a cage in your basement and leave them there, feeding them only two carrot sticks per day until you feel they are independent enough to be released back into the wild. I recommend at least six months, it usually allows their minds time to readjust.

It is literally the only humane thing to do.

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I meet people like this irl constantly. I make friends with them and realize how much I hate them but im already their only friend so I'm stuck with them.

Theyre parasites that feed off of your attention and they will never go away.

Theyre also 99% of the time stupid pricks that deserve to be tied to a tree and be fed to chickens.

 

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7 hours ago, XoPachi said:

I'm going to be 100% honest with you....
I truly fully expected this thread to be about some kind of crazy wingsuit like product people can wear that let's them fly through the air in a boomerang motion. 

 

 

:l

...

Someone get to work on this immediately. 

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Going to put my opposite two cents in, if someone's trying really hard to befriend you just go ahead and let them. It costs nothing at all to be civil to people, and acting as if you like someone often leads to you really lining them.  If you're just a little patient either you will get along with them and can come to an understanding, or it will be clear that the relationship doesn't work and it will fizzle on its own accord. Best of luck with Mr. Gator, by the way. 

 

 

For me I feign cordial obliviousness with people spamming me. It works alright. 

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