I'm terrified of physical contact

[Kellie Gator]

So as I keep yapping about, I'm currently at NordicFuzzCon and I'm having a blast. It's awesome!

Except for one thing.

But it's not their fault, it's mine.

I'm... terrified of physical contact. I dunno, it's like, I think hugging a fursuiter would be awesome but I always feel like I'll have some panic attack if I ask so I just keep my distance and get too scared to make eye contact.

I've been this way for such a long time and I can't be 100% what the source is but I think it might be a result of me being bullied a lot, often in physical ways, so I get a bit scared of, well, touching because my body tells me touching is bad.

So I feel really weird with handshakes and even weirder with hugs. Like, really weird and a bit uncomfortable. Which made things super weird when my boyfriend visited me and he pretty much had to drag me closer to him and such on the first night. I got comfortable with him but... other people, no. My dad was visiting for my birthday and before he went home my boyfriend wanted me to hug my dad and... I just couldn't. I kind of froze and freaked out and made excuses. I've promised him to hug my dad eventually but I really don't think I can do it. >w<;;

I just wanna get comfortable with touching people again. I meant, I want to hug some people at this con, but... fear just gets to me.

Why am I such a goddamn mess? D:

[Sarcastic Coffeecup]

I don't like touching people either.

Unless it's GF. Could hug that cuddlebug forever.

[Kellie Gator]

4 minutes ago, Sarcastic Coffeecup said:

I don't like touching people either.

Unless it's GF. Could hug that cuddlebug forever.

That's the thing though, I never disliked it. I'm just... terrified. Dunno if that makes sense to you.

[PastryOfApathy]

I'm a similar way. Like the whole idea of super close physical contact skeezes me out so goddamn much. I've never had any irl relationships so I can't even say that's an exception because that scares the shit out of me too.

Edited March 5, 2016 by PastryOfApathy

[Vae]

I am not scared of physical contact, specifically, but I hate it coming from people I'm not like super emotionally close to, especially if it's by surprise or I haven't already agreed to it.

So word of caution to anyone who may or may not meet me somewhere:
Do not randomly grab me, or jump at me, or whatever.
You WILL get hurt for it.

[Sarcastic Coffeecup]

17 minutes ago, Kellie Gator said:

That's the thing though, I never disliked it. I'm just... terrified. Dunno if that makes sense to you.

I understand.

All I can say is try overcoming it, but that's easier said than done.

[Guest]

I crave physical contact instead. Wish I could hug some of the folks from here or even just see them in person

[Kellie Gator]

11 minutes ago, Amiir said:

I crave physical contact instead. Wish I could hug some of the folks from here or even just see them in person

You could be my ex-gay touch therapist. ;3

[Dr. Doggo]

I used to dislike it but now I just I find it slightly awkward cos it catches me horribly off-guard all the time.

Hugs are nice.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Kellie Gator said:

You could be my ex-gay touch therapist. ;3

Yeah ok sure why not. I'm still pretty fucking gay tho, just so you know and I'm terrible at advice givin'

Now, come hither and feel the warmth of my... Arms, my thin, weak, feeble arms

[Astus]

I have a strong dislike for being touched by people as well, especially people I don't know. It makes me get defensive and sometimes slightly fearful especially when they don't make obvious signs that they will do it, liek they suddenly just go to huh me or something... just a werid thing that you gotta get over eventually 

[Ieono]

You guys would hate me, cause I love putting my hands on people, even if I barely know them. I'm a big hugger.

[#00Buck]

It's easy to get over. 

You just get some friends to come over and hug you. 

Do it repeatedly until it stops feeling scary.

Then keep doing it until you get tired of it. 

Done.

Repeated exposure to the subject of any specific phobia is the treatment for that phobia. 

You should be able to get over this problem in less than an hour. 

Get it done and move on with your life. 

[Vallium]

Gotta condition the goodvibe feels back in man, and hey, you're in the right place for it. Push yourself into hugging a few nice furries or getting a good handshake and you'll come to love it, but the building up and the learning curve is the hard part.

Glad you're having fun, though. I'm jelly.

[Spot]

I remember my first time hugging a fursuiter. It was on the last day at the end of the con and I knew it was something I just had to do for the sheer experience. Strangely enough, it was like hugging a giant plushy and I enjoyed it more than I probably should have (I didn't want to stop LOL!). Luckily for me, he wasn't all sweaty and stinky... It's something everyone should try at least once. So muster that courage, gurl, and get to it!

[Kellie Gator]

10 hours ago, Amiir said:

Yeah ok sure why not. I'm still pretty fucking gay tho, just so you know and I'm terrible at advice givin'

Now, come hither and feel the warmth of my... Arms, my thin, weak, feeble arms

What are you talking about, it's totally straight! It helps you get back in touch with your masculinity!

 

 

 

[Guest]

 The fuck did I just watch

[Kellie Gator]

2 hours ago, Amiir said:

The fuck did I just watch

How to be a MAN.

EDIT:

I still freeze up at every chance I get to get close to a fursuiter. But one of them got close to me and that was kinda cool even if I wasn't sure how to react.

EDIT 2:

And just now of them sat next to me to look at what I was doing on my computer which was followed by me saying hi and then awkward silence before the poor dude left.

I'm so awkwardddddddd. ;w;

Edited March 6, 2016 by Kellie Gator

[Endless/Nameless]

13 minutes ago, Kellie Gator said:

And just now of them sat next to me to look at what I was doing on my computer which was followed by me saying hi and then awkward silence before the poor dude left.

I'm so awkwardddddddd. ;w;

LOL, that's exactly what I would do. We got social skillz don't we?

[#00Buck]

That video is so typical. 

A gay man angry at his domineering mother?

Say it ain't so.

[Kellie Gator]

50 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

That video is so typical. 

A gay man angry at his domineering mother?

Say it ain't so.

You know that's not always true!

...I'm trans. >w>;;

[Kosha]

I too have Haphephobia. The way I get over it is to think about something else while giving/receiving physical contact.

[Kellie Gator]

26 minutes ago, Kosha said:

I too have Haphephobia. The way I get over it is to think about something else while giving/receiving physical contact.

I didn't know there was a name for it.

Also, thinking about something else feels like cheating. >w>;;

[Snagged]

19 hours ago, Amiir said:

I crave physical contact instead. Wish I could hug some of the folks from here or even just see them in person

The stereotype of Italians getting close and personal holds true (with you at least)

[Kosha]

4 minutes ago, Kellie Gator said:

I didn't know there was a name for it.

Also, thinking about something else feels like cheating. >w>;;

I'm going to be honest, I just looked up "touch fear" on Google.

It's up to you: don't think of something else and don't give a hug or do and give a hug.

[Ratmomma]

Have you tried going into therapy for this thing? A therapist can help you work out the issues that are causing this issue for you... Therapists are wonderful like that....git all up in the brain with that cognitive behavioral stuff.

[Vallium]

1 hour ago, Kellie Gator said:

You know that's not always true!

...I'm trans. >w>;;

If you hit something several times and scream about your mother, you will be healed of your disease.

[Kellie Gator]

9 minutes ago, WolfNightV4X1 said:

If you hit something several times and scream about your mother, you will be healed of your disease.

Does that include cancer?

37 minutes ago, Ratmomma said:

Have you tried going into therapy for this thing? A therapist can help you work out the issues that are causing this issue for you... Therapists are wonderful like that....git all up in the brain with that cognitive behavioral stuff.

I've talked to my therapist about it but maybe not clearly enough since she hasn't properly helped me with this.

[Guest]

4 hours ago, Snagged Cub said:

The stereotype of Italians getting close and personal holds true (with you at least)

Lol I guess so, for that and for the fact that I couldn't live with nothing less than good food. Super picky on that. Other than this, I'm the least italian italian you'll ever find haha

[#00Buck]

7 hours ago, Ratmomma said:

Have you tried going into therapy for this thing? A therapist can help you work out the issues that are causing this issue for you... Therapists are wonderful like that....git all up in the brain with that cognitive behavioral stuff.

You don't need any of that. 

You need to be exposed to hugs for about an hour. 

That's all. 

Phobia gone!

That's all it takes to treat specific phobias. 1 Hour of exposure to the object of the fear. Simple. 

[DrDingo]

8 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

You don't need any of that. 

You need to be exposed to hugs for about an hour. 

That's all. 

Phobia gone!

That's all it takes to treat specific phobias. 1 Hour of exposure to the object of the fear. Simple. 

Sshhh you're on a furry forum

Quiet down, else everyone will claim they have a touch phobia so they can get free hugs from you

[#00Buck]

Just now, DrDingo said:

Sshhh you're on a furry forum

Quiet down, else everyone will claim they have a touch phobia so they can get free hugs from you

They will claim penis in bum phobia to get free yiff! 

[DrDingo]

Just now, #00Buck said:

They will claim penis in bum phobia to get free yiff! 

Posts like this are why you're amazing and I love you

[#00Buck]

Just now, DrDingo said:

Posts like this are why you're amazing and I love you

You're just trying to get free yiff from me in a more clever way. 

But I see though your jedi mind trick. 

[AlexInsane]

How often do you struggle with this? I mean, I barely have close personal contact with people in day to day life. 

[#00Buck]

49 minutes ago, AlexInsane said:

How often do you struggle with this? I mean, I barely have close personal contact with people in day to day life. 

You all need to get out of the house more.

I understand that you're afraid that you mom will lock the door to the basement if you leave.

But that's the risk you take when you try to be an adult. 

[AlexInsane]

18 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

You all need to get out of the house more.

I understand that you're afraid that you mom will lock the door to the basement if you leave.

But that's the risk you take when you try to be an adult. 

I get out of the house every day.

I interact with people. I just don't have physical contact with them. Sometimes people at my work, customers mostly, will tap me on the back or shake my hand or whatever (I had one guy slap my back in a friendly way and it was creepy as hell - what am I, a dog?), but mostly it's just point them to the stuff and go back to work. 

[#00Buck]

6 minutes ago, AlexInsane said:

I get out of the house every day.

I interact with people. I just don't have physical contact with them. Sometimes people at my work, customers mostly, will tap me on the back or shake my hand or whatever (I had one guy slap my back in a friendly way and it was creepy as hell - what am I, a dog?), but mostly it's just point them to the stuff and go back to work. 

You're a touch freak. 

[AlexInsane]

Just now, #00Buck said:

You're a touch freak. 

I like physical contact if I want it and can communicate that I want it. Unwarranted physical contact is...disturbing. It's taking liberties. It's borderline fuck-crazy. 

[#00Buck]

Just now, AlexInsane said:

I like physical contact if I want it and can communicate that I want it. Unwarranted physical contact is...disturbing. It's taking liberties. It's borderline fuck-crazy. 

Spoken like a true touch freak. 

[AlexInsane]

Just now, #00Buck said:

Spoken like a true touch freak. 

IF YOU TOUCH ME, I WILL MAKE YOU EAT YOUR OWN HANDS. 

[#00Buck]

Just now, AlexInsane said:

IF YOU TOUCH ME, I WILL MAKE YOU EAT YOUR OWN HANDS. 

Chill out touch freak. 

Frankie says relax.....

[Crazy Lee]

@Kellie Gator Hugs?
Hugs.
*pounces you*
Why do you look like your head is going to explode?

In all seriousness it does kinda sound like you have some kind of anxiety problem/disorder. In this case it manifests itself as anxiety with dealing with others. Either that or you're autistic in some way. Also, this is all armchair therapist bullshit. But I'm serious about the anxiety being a possibility.

I don't mind hugging people, but I find most people to be smelly and clammy (I'm probably smelly but I don't think I'm clammy), so i don't like cuddling or being closer to people for very long. Also, I'm extremely quiet in person because I suck at small talk and feel awkward about conversation with other people.

18 hours ago, Kellie Gator said:

What are you talking about, it's totally straight! It helps you get back in touch with your masculinity!

 

Is it bad that I split my sides when he started hitting the pillow with the racket?


 

[Kellie Gator]

6 hours ago, AlexInsane said:

How often do you struggle with this? I mean, I barely have close personal contact with people in day to day life. 

Well, people often want to shake my hands or offer hugs for reasons I can't understand. I can't say for sure how often but it's kind of common for me.

4 hours ago, Crazy Lee said:

@Kellie Gator Hugs?
Hugs.
*pounces you*
Why do you look like your head is going to explode?

In all seriousness it does kinda sound like you have some kind of anxiety problem/disorder. In this case it manifests itself as anxiety with dealing with others. Either that or you're autistic in some way. Also, this is all armchair therapist bullshit. But I'm serious about the anxiety being a possibility.

I don't mind hugging people, but I find most people to be smelly and clammy (I'm probably smelly but I don't think I'm clammy), so i don't like cuddling or being closer to people for very long. Also, I'm extremely quiet in person because I suck at small talk and feel awkward about conversation with other people.

Is it bad that I split my sides when he started hitting the pillow with the racket?


 

Actually both are true as far as I know. I have asperger's syndrome but, idfk, I never had a problem with being touched as a kid so this is something that developed over time. I definitely have some kind of anxiety disorder.

3 hours ago, 6tails said:

Touch me all you want. Be careful HOW you touch me, though. You may or may not like the end results!

Wanna come over to my place for some snuggles. ;3

[Kellie Gator]

Just now, 6tails said:

Depends. Who's spooning whom?

What's the matter, don't wanna be spooned by a gator?~

[Toshabi]

They have sex in those things you know. Might pick up an STD just by touching them. You are wise to have these fears.

[quagmath]

im the same, op, if i even bump into people it just feels like sensory overload to me

i dont go to cons for this reason (and cuz of money :'3c...) but if i ever did, i think id probably take a permanent sign that says "dont touch me" along LOL...

[Spot]

As the community slut (next to Mentova) I approve of all of this suggested spooning and gets my full support..

[Kellie Gator]

4 hours ago, Mr. Fox said:

As the community slut (next to Mentova) I approve of all of this suggested spooning and gets my full support..

Be careful about spooning me, I might death roll you, being a gator and all. ;3

[sarnarus]

im basically the same except with verbal affection, shits impossible i dunno how people do it