Neighbors

[Red Lion]

More motivation to leave this town, the fucking neighbors. Why the hell someone would mow somebody's lawn when they weren't asked to do so. Then they come up all smiles and say "Your grass was getting kinda long, I mowed it for you!". Fuck you buddy, I didn't ask you to mow my grass, whether or not my grass is long isn't your concern. 

I know I sound like a crab apple ( I kinda am one) but there's a mentality in my neighborhood that everyone's house and lawn has to be up to a certain standard. Grass that is unmowed is an "eyesore".  My dad's old Pontiac firebird is an "eyesore" if we paint our mailbox any color but black it's an "eyesore". They can't legally do anything about these things but I'm getting sick of the passive aggressive suggestions that we "get rid of that old junk car" "you should chop down those trees up front, we can barely see your house from the road" and "remember to mow your lawn". I can ignore them most of the time but this fucker mowing our lawn while we're out is crossing the line. 

I don't care what your intentions were, you weren't invited into my yard, it's my yard so you better damn well leave it alone. Don't fucking act like you did me a favor you insipid little asshole, with your manufactured, lack-luster smile, vacant lifeless eyes and your anemic tone of voice that never displays an extreme emotion of any kind but still manages to be laced with a tepid disdain for anything that breaks up your cookie cutter monotony. Of course he fucking mowed right over our peach tree saplings. Probably didn't even realize what they were. Can you tell I hate this witless, flabby, piece of stale human cardboard? Worse when you try to have words with him he acts surprised, like he doesn't understand why you're angry or he'll take the approach that he did you a favor and he knows better than you do. He has no taste, no style and no personality beyond "I'm a middle aged, middle class white guy who lives in the suburbs. Threats to my masculinity make me uncomfortable and I spend all day doing yard work, hating cats, gays and secretly hating black people and being a Tarheels fan." he's got a southern accent but lacks any of the flavor that makes American's from the south interesting, if he ever had any traces of southern culture he sanded them off long ago in favor of wearing Khaki shorts and polo shirts while drinking light beer as he vapidly whispers sweet nothings to his manicured, perfectly spherical shrubs. 

I don't even know why the sight of him makes me want to walk up and punch him, but his existence filled me with an inexplicable loathing before he decided to be "neighborly". If it weren't disgustingly petty I'd paint his mailbox rainbow colors and cover it with stickers of cats. >8[

[Endless/Nameless]

Ever wondered what it's like to live in small-town America?

Read this post. 

🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

[LadyRadarEars]

4 minutes ago, Endless/Nameless said:

Ever wondered what it's like to live in small-town America?

Read this post. 

🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

I used to live in small town america and what i heard a lot was 'yeehah', 'gunshot noises', and 'sheeeet he gots a gun run fo yo lief n drop the tv' interspersed with the sounds of tractors.

[Endless/Nameless]

3 minutes ago, LadyRadarEars said:

I used to live in small town america and what i heard a lot was 'yeehah', 'gunshot noises', and 'sheeeet he gots a gun run fo yo lief n drop the tv' interspersed with the sounds of tractors.

omg 

I just constantly hear lawnmowers, see boats and ATV's everywhere, and try to hide from the neighbors neighborly gaze and judgment 

[LadyRadarEars]

3 minutes ago, Endless/Nameless said:

omg 

I just constantly hear lawnmowers, see boats and ATV's everywhere, and try to hide from the neighbors neighborly gaze and judgment 

To be fair I lived in the ass-end of the woods/farm area of a small town in the literally worst and poorest county in my state, if not the eastern seaboard, and it was slowly being encroached upon by trailer parks and ghettos that used to be suburbs in between the vast expanses of farmland and trees.

[Endless/Nameless]

2 minutes ago, LadyRadarEars said:

To be fair I lived in the ass-end of the woods/farm area of a small town in the literally worst and poorest county in my state, if not the eastern seaboard, and it was slowly being encroached upon by trailer parks and ghettos that used to be suburbs in between the vast expanses of farmland and trees.

Makes sense. Not a good combination.

 

I live in one of the poorest towns in my state also, but the whole passive-agressive Minnesota Nice thing keeps things at a quiet boil.

Oh, aside from the druggie human-torch that burned down a gas station. That was interesting. 

[Red Lion]

I live in a pretty shitty town but my family managed to score a deal on a house in a nicer neighborhood. Granted, ours is the junkiest, ghetto house in it and we're right up against the woods, but everything up further in the neighborhood is all suburban looking.

[Vallium]

Maybe Im just not seeing it right but it just sounds like a shitty first world complaint to get all up in arms about some guy who took extra time to cut grass for you, like, unless you were attached to that longer grass or something just sounds like you can say 'thank ye kindly, strangeuh' and move on with life. Its not like he sounds like that most awful neighbor sending you death threats or something, mostly sounds like a thorn in your side you can ignore.

but hey this is a rant so I guess obnoxious, insipid meighbors count for something to get pissy about

[LadyRadarEars]

21 minutes ago, WolfNightV4X1 said:

Maybe Im just not seeing it right but it just sounds like a shitty first world complaint to get all up in arms about some guy who took extra time to cut grass for you, like, unless you were attached to that longer grass or something just sounds like you can say 'thank ye kindly, strangeuh' and move on with life. Its not like he sounds like that most awful neighbor sending you death threats or something, mostly sounds like a thorn in your side you can ignore.

but hey this is a rant so I guess obnoxious, insipid meighbors count for something to get pissy about

I think you're forgetting the part where said neighbor ran over his tree saplings, possibly on purpose. Nonfruiting tree saplings tend to start at $40 a tree, with peach trees, fruiting, starting at sixty or more, depending on location, variety, and whether or not its from seed or from a graft (which determines how healthy it might be and how quickly it'll grow in some species.)

Edit: Also in my experience, unless someone is being paid to mow a property they don't own, they'll end up running over nonflowering parts of a garden and all sorts of other important shit because they think its 'weeds', and did not bother to ask the owner about them.

Edit2: tl;dr, if you don't own a property, don't fuck widdit mang, you aren't helping, you're being an asshole :V Unless like, you have express permission or something.

[Endless/Nameless]

3 hours ago, LadyRadarEars said:

Edit2: tl;dr, if you don't own a property, don't fuck widdit mang, you aren't helping, you're being an asshole :V Unless like, you have express permission or something.

^ Yeah, that. 

It's a mind-your-own-business kind of thing. It's about respect and distance. 

[#00Buck]

7 hours ago, Red Lion said:

More motivation to leave this town, the fucking neighbors. Why the hell someone would mow somebody's lawn when they weren't asked to do so. Then they come up all smiles and say "Your grass was getting kinda long, I mowed it for you!". Fuck you buddy, I didn't ask you to mow my grass, whether or not my grass is long isn't your concern. 

You could pimp up to him next time and say "I fucked your wife. It was obvious she hasn't gotten any dick in months and everyone on the street was sick and tired of watching her walk around frowning I mean that's a real eyesore. Oh, and by the way wipe that stupid grin off your face too nobody around here likes it. 

Or not...

Your choice. 

[Red Lion]

2 hours ago, #00Buck said:

You could pimp up to him next time and say "I fucked your wife. It was obvious she hasn't gotten any dick in months and everyone on the street was sick and tired of watching her walk around frowning I mean that's a real eyesore. Oh, and by the way wipe that stupid grin off your face too nobody around here likes it. 

Or not...

Your choice. 

Sad part is I don't even think this part is a joke. His wife is the kind of woman who seems perpetually irritated and tired. 

[#00Buck]

50 minutes ago, Red Lion said:

Sad part is I don't even think this part is a joke. His wife is the kind of woman who seems perpetually irritated and tired. 

A lack of vitamin D does that. 

[Zaraphayx]

My neighbors scream at each other and act like white trash but at least they shut up when I bang on the wall (it's a duplex) and tell them to shut their cock holsters before I call the police.

Also living in the ghetto owns because there is no HOA and people mind their own fucking business.

[Red Lion]

7 hours ago, WolfNightV4X1 said:

Maybe Im just not seeing it right but it just sounds like a shitty first world complaint to get all up in arms about some guy who took extra time to cut grass for you, like, unless you were attached to that longer grass or something just sounds like you can say 'thank ye kindly, strangeuh' and move on with life. Its not like he sounds like that most awful neighbor sending you death threats or something, mostly sounds like a thorn in your side you can ignore.

but hey this is a rant so I guess obnoxious, insipid meighbors count for something to get pissy about

Problem is he didn't do it for my benefit, he went into MY yard and ended up destroying some of MY plants because HE didn't like how long my grass was getting. He knew we wouldn't be happy with it so he waited until we left the house to go and do it. This isn't the first time he's decided to trim up our yard either. We had some roses he decided needed pruning (again without saying a word to us, just waiting until we were gone and taking his shears to them) it was still a young plant and he pruned it too hard and cut the graft off of the rootstock. 

Like other people have said it's about respect and distance. Things in my yard do not belong to him so he needs to keep away. 

[Fossa]

11 hours ago, Red Lion said:

I live in a pretty shitty town but my family managed to score a deal on a house in a nicer neighborhood. Granted, ours is the junkiest, ghetto house in it and we're right up against the woods, but everything up further in the neighborhood is all suburban looking.

I suggest living in the woods, way out in the country, away from people. Where I grew up, the nearest neighbor was about a mile away, and looking back, that was very nice...there just wasn't anyone around to bother you, it was so remote. You could do as you liked, and be left alone.

Small/medium towns are a lot harder; you need some land, or to be surrounded by state forests, so you don't have to put up with such nosy neighbors.

~

Or, you can live in a big city, where nobody cares about such things, and just goes about their business, more or less.

This posts reminds me that I'd sure hate to live in Suburbia.

[Socketosis]

I absolutely hate when people mess with my things without asking or telling me first. Like in your case, it can actually be an inconvenience rather than a helpful deed.

Firebirds are beautiful, they can fuck right off.

[Another Ampers&]

oh dude get the fuck out of there

There's neighborhoods like that up where I live too. Just an ocean of homes and they all look the same

like imagine getting lost in one of these kinds of neighborhoods. Everywhere is ugly houses and they all look the same. Smallscale shit you would see on Mcmansion Atrocities. The kinds of people that live in these places are all invariably awful, and pull shit exactly liken what the OP said. I had a friend whose grandma lives in one of these kinds of neighborhoods. He's kind of punky and scrufy due to being Very Poor but he's pretty clean. Obviously his dyed hair and band Tshirt caught some woman's eye as he was bouncing a basketball on the driveway because she came out of her house and asked him in that kind of "I demand to see a manager" kind of tone "Hi, do you know where you are? :)"

[Kinharia]

I hate neighbours. I geniunely feel sorry for you guys who have shitty ones, I know I would like to just have neighbours who'd mind their own fucking business and leave me alone.

[Osrik]

Yeah, neighbors can really be noisy assholes, really makes you wish to live far away from anyone else at times.

I live in an older district rather than a development, but it is still certainly suburbia, and the neighbors certainly act the part. Our property line goes pretty much right up to our neighbor's house, as we own the lot in between the houses, but you would think they did with how much they have altered it over the years without consulting us. Probably 5 years ago they hired a tree service to cut down a large tree that stood between our houses (while we were away of course), which wouldn't be as big a deal (though i still liked the tree) if it didn't serve as a barrier between our houses. Both have large numbers of windows on the sides, so now without the tree we can see each other in our respective living rooms, which can be kind of awkward.

Fast forwards to last week, and they again hired someone to modify our property without our permission. we had let some undergrowth grow up between our houses to take the place of the tree, while a tree within the undergrowth grew taller. Though it may have been slightly unkempt, they had never complained about it (and their own back yard is jungle like in its overgrowth) and we kept it contained to a specific area. However, about a week ago, when i returned from work there was someone finishing up cutting down all the undergrowth, leaving a patch of bare dirt behind. as far as i can tell, they don't plan on doing anything else, so I guess we are expected to do something about 15x40' dirt patch in our yard... and again we can see into each other's living rooms.

(funnily enough, while I was reading your post, Shangri-La by The Kinks came on Spotify, which is about the "joys" of suburbia:)

 

 

[Conker]

Your neighbors sound like fucking cunts. You should tell them to go kill themselves.

Longer grass is healthier anyways. Looks better too. My one neighbor mows his so fucking short that it's a perpetual weed batch becuase the grass has nothin' to go on. We keep ours like at 3" or longer and it's awesome. Healthy as fuck.

But we also don't fight over it since it's absolutely meaningless to us

[Hux]

53 minutes ago, Conker said:

Your neighbors sound like fucking cunts. You should tell them to go kill themselves.

Longer grass is healthier anyways. Looks better too. My one neighbor mows his so fucking short that it's a perpetual weed batch becuase the grass has nothin' to go on. We keep ours like at 3" or longer and it's awesome. Healthy as fuck.

But we also don't fight over it since it's absolutely meaningless to us

I don't understand how people can take having to constantly mow their lawns.

I'm from the desert and the beach. Please explain.

[Osrik]

16 minutes ago, Hux said:

I don't understand how people can take having to constantly mow their lawns.

I'm from the desert and the beach. Please explain.

That's like, one of the main manly activities of suburbia, alongside barbecues and car washing.

You clearly aren't a caring father who is head of a perfect family if you are not observed mowing at least weekly, if not biweekly, and your manliness might be questioned if you fail to complete this most important of duties!

[DrGravitas]

11 minutes ago, Hux said:

I don't understand how people can take having to constantly mow their lawns.

I'm from the desert and the beach. Please explain.

It never ends! Most times of the year, save for winter and late fall, the grass grows fast enough to need a chopping about once a week. Then, because I hate weeds and want to keep my grass a nice deep green, I go and fertilize it with some weed n feed 2 or 3 times during the spring/summer! For a while there it'll grow even more crazy (still only cut it once a week, though). I like them nice, clean straight lines in my grasss! 8}   ...But I hate having to cut it. XP

 

As for neighbors, I barely know mine. I met most of them about once and have only met the one my right a handful of times. It's rather a point of embarrassment to me. I don't know how to get to know my neighbors and at this point its too awkward to try. My coworkers seem to indicate this is normal these days, but growing up I always remembered my parents knowing the neighbors (in the various neighborhoods we moved through) fairly well. I am mildly concerned that I'm seen as the bad neighbor. But, as far as lawns go here there are worse around.

[AshleyAshes]

On ‎8‎/‎7‎/‎2016 at 4:15 AM, Endless/Nameless said:

Ever wondered what it's like to live in small-town America?

Read this post. 

🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

I grew up in an isolated Canadian Forces/NATO air base, surrounded by nothing but hundreds of kilometers of trees, a logging road as the only accessible route to the next community unless you wanted to take ice breaking ferry, there were 'good days of the week' to by bread and certain perishables since they were brought in by aircraft or by ferry where they were nearer the tail end of their use by dates... Cry me a river with your 'Small Town America'.

[Victor-933]

22 minutes ago, AshleyAshes said:

 

 

[Hux]

11 minutes ago, Osrik said:

That's like, one of the main manly activities of suburbia, alongside barbecues and car washing.

You clearly aren't a caring father who is head of a perfect family if you are not observed mowing at least weekly, if not biweekly, and your manliness might be questioned if you fail to complete this most important of duties!

So, it's like some weird dick-waving competition? I can't see how it's manly. It just looks like a vain pain™ in the ass. Does the vagina render females incapable of successful lawnmower operation? Tell me there have been studies on this phenomenon.

16 minutes ago, DrGravitas said:

It never ends! Most times of the year, save for winter and late fall, the grass grows fast enough to need a chopping about once a week. Then, because I hate weeds and want to keep my grass a nice deep green, I go and fertilize it with some weed n feed 2 or 3 times during the spring/summer! For a while there it'll grow even more crazy (still only cut it once a week, though). I like them nice, clean straight lines in my grasss! 8}   ...But I hate having to cut it. XP

 

As for neighbors, I barely know mine. I met most of them about once and have only met the one my right a handful of times. It's rather a point of embarrassment to me. I don't know how to get to know my neighbors and at this point its too awkward to try. My coworkers seem to indicate this is normal these days, but growing up I always remembered my parents knowing the neighbors (in the various neighborhoods we moved through) fairly well. I am mildly concerned that I'm seen as the bad neighbor. But, as far as lawns go here there are worse around.

Do girls... uh, geez. D-do they like guys with nice... lawns? Will girls like me if I get a pimp-ass lawn? If there are no girls in my lawn, do I have to hunt some down and bring them to my lawn? What then? Do I just, like, take my pants off and do little dance to stimulate mating behavior? What type of grass is the most sensual? I want grass that really says who I am, like some sexy exotic stuff that brings all the girls to the yard.

Girls never talked about my old yard. They never walked by and were all like "damn, this guy has some immaculately maintained sand." "I want some of that good dick from this dude. He's got those good sand-maintainence genes that my offspring need."

They thought little to nothing of my sand. I even placed finely detailed sand penises in my yard to show then that I was of good mating stock, but that only scared them. Some gay dudes were into it, but they were just teases and size queens who were unsatisfied even with my most mountainous of sand penises.

 

OT: I need to start making serious posts.

My neighbors are always fighting. Day and night they scream and throw shit at each other. When they aren't fighting, their little semen demons are rampaging through the neighborhood. I miss the desert.

[#00Buck]

He was so quiet. 

Always kept to himself. 

We never suspected anything.

[Eggdodger]

My next door neighbor seems to always coincidentally be outside or just about to go outside when I open my door to go somewhere, at which point he'll strike up a good old 20 questions conversation with me, or give a passing smile and a wave. He's my age, but it's still weird. He lives next door with his two identical brothers, but I can always tell which one is him because of that doofy smile-and-wave combo.

Lion, can we trade neighbors? I'd prefer a guy that mows my lawn (I would never touch it) to a guy that small talks me every time I venture outside my home.

[Hux]

26 minutes ago, Eggdodger said:

My next door neighbor seems to always coincidentally be outside or just about to go outside when I open my door to go somewhere, at which point he'll strike up a good old 20 questions conversation with me, or give a passing smile and a wave. He's my age, but it's still weird. He lives next door with his two identical brothers, but I can always tell which one is him because of that doofy smile-and-wave combo.

Lion, can we trade neighbors? I'd prefer a guy that mows my lawn (I would never touch it) to a guy that small talks me every time I venture outside my home.

Your neighbor is a cringey weirdo. You know what must be done.

[Eggdodger]

Just now, Hux said:

Your neighbor is a cringey weirdo. You know what must be done.

Cringey or not, he's kinda cute. Just wish he were a little less friendly so that I could idly wish he paid me more attention instead of thinking he's weird for paying me so much attention.

...

...

I'm a difficult person to court, aren't I?

[Hux]

3 minutes ago, Eggdodger said:

Cringey or not, he's kinda cute. Just wish he were a little less friendly so that I could idly wish he paid me more attention instead of thinking he's weird for paying me so much attention.

...

...

I'm a difficult person to court, aren't I?

Women are like puzzles... women are like puzzles that I'll never understand.

That's a beautiful thing, though. It keeps life interesting.

Good luck. If you're lucky you can get a triple date with him and his brothers. You'll have at least one spare in case the other goes sour. Gotta play that long game, nomsayin?

[Red Lion]

6 hours ago, Eggdodger said:

Lion, can we trade neighbors? I'd prefer a guy that mows my lawn (I would never touch it) to a guy that small talks me every time I venture outside my home.

You can totes have my neighbor. 

I am a wizard at shutting down conversation before it starts, let small talk guy do his worst >:B

[LazerMaster5]

Where I live, my neighbors just sorta exist, and we don't interact with them very often. Landscaping is optional, but preferred if you don't want your house to look vacant. The neighborhood is normally quiet, only disrupted by holiday fireworks and summer season roadwork. The neighborhood even has a market, gas station, pizzeria, and library branch. The neighboorhood (and Mentor as a whole) is populated largely by rednecks and old people.

[Red Lion]

23 minutes ago, LazerMaster5 said:

Where I live, my neighbors just sorta exist, and we don't interact with them very often. Landscaping is optional, but preferred if you don't want your house to look vacant. The neighborhood is normally quiet, only disrupted by holiday fireworks and summer season roadwork. The neighborhood even has a market, gas station, pizzeria, and library branch. The neighboorhood (and Mentor as a whole) is populated largely by rednecks and old people.

That sounds fantastic.

Our neighborhood attracted a lot of notherners who came down to buy up cheap land. I swear every one of them is the same breed of pasty, beer-bellied, uber conservative type who thinks he's better than all the "ignorant" hicks that live in the south. They like to do this thing where they pretend they like you, smile in your face but find not-so-subtle ways to one-up your house, car, money and lifestyle. 

[Eggdodger]

10 hours ago, Red Lion said:

That sounds fantastic.

Our neighborhood attracted a lot of notherners who came down to buy up cheap land. I swear every one of them is the same breed of pasty, beer-bellied, uber conservative type who thinks he's better than all the "ignorant" hicks that live in the south. They like to do this thing where they pretend they like you, smile in your face but find not-so-subtle ways to one-up your house, car, money and lifestyle. 

That's them dern Yankees for ya. At least Southerners say they hate ya to yer face =v *spits tobacco*

 

BY THE WAY, hicks have totally reclaimed the word "redneck". They're 100% proud of who they are. I just... Okay, Bud. Hope your son Bud Lite has more sense and grows up to hate you.

[Wax]

On 07/08/2016 at 8:48 AM, Red Lion said:

Can you tell I hate this witless, flabby, piece of stale human cardboard?

I dunno man, sounds like the two of you are pretty close.

On 07/08/2016 at 8:48 AM, Red Lion said:

"I'm a middle aged, middle class white guy who lives in the suburbs. Threats to my masculinity make me uncomfortable and I spend all day doing yard work, hating cats, gays and secretly hating black people and being a Tarheels fan."

If we're stereotyping further, in the UK at least, these are the people who are extremely rude to retail workers.

[Taikugemu]

That's why we build fucking huge walls around our property here.

Trump would be proud.

[Hux]

ITT: Very little self-awareness.

[Guest]

On 8/7/2016 at 3:48 AM, Red Lion said:

Don't fucking act like you did me a favor you insipid little asshole, with your manufactured, lack-luster smile, vacant lifeless eyes and your anemic tone of voice that never displays an extreme emotion of any kind but still manages to be laced with a tepid disdain for anything that breaks up your cookie cutter monotony.

I just wanted to keep this sentence. I genuinely *love* this sentence. 

[PastryOfApathy]

3 hours ago, Taikugemu said:

That's why we build fucking huge walls around our property here.

Trump would be proud.

You don't need a wall.

Just plant a "furry pride" flag on your lawn and nobody will bother you again.

[Taikugemu]

8 minutes ago, PastryOfApathy said:

You don't need a wall.

Just plant a "furry pride" flag on your lawn and nobody will bother you again.

But that could attract furfaggots, that's like the worst case scenario. D:

[LadyRadarEars]

18 minutes ago, Taikugemu said:

But that could attract furfaggots, that's like the worst case scenario. D:

But then you would never want for a bear rug again if you used the right traps!

[Proper noun]

I hate my area but there is an old man who rides a bike with his macaw on his shoulder,

[Red Lion]

13 hours ago, Lemon said:

I just wanted to keep this sentence. I genuinely *love* this sentence. 

why thank you .///.

[#00Buck]

44 minutes ago, Proper noun said:

I hate my area but there is an old man who rides a bike with his macaw on his shoulder,

What a poser. 

[#00Buck]

Just now, 6tails said:

Polly want a poseur!

Who's a pretty bird?

Who's a pretty bird?

CRwwwwaaaaaWWWWKKKKK!!!

[Socketosis]

2 hours ago, 6tails said:

"Yea? You trespassed upon and damaged my property without my permission. Guess who's about to find their ass in court?"

That might be a bit excessive.

[LadyRadarEars]

Its stuff like this why I miss living in the woods in rural country of the south, where you could turn the passive-aggressiveness on neighbors like this by setting up a bunch of beer bottles in the backyard and blasting at them with a rifle for a few hours when you know they're home. And no noise complaints, either, so long as you don't do it too early or too late!

My limited amount of time living in suburbia before going into apartments was awful and I hated it. I suggest you start calling the cops on this guy or save up money for small claims court against him for damaging your property. That or you should get a nice big dog and train him to bite this man whenever he enters your yard. I'm not sure how legal it would be but I bet it'd be satisfying to watch him run from a dog almost as big as he is.

2 minutes ago, Socketosis said:

That might be a bit excessive.

Its never excessive. You either slam the hammer down on them or they keep stealing or breaking your stuff, because humans are by default, assholes, and thus best respond to threats to their person or wallet. I mean, sure, politeness and such will get you far, but this guy has been repeatedly told to stay off the property (I assume), so politeness will no longer work, and thus the carrot should be removed and replaced with a nice big stick.

 

Edit: LION YOU SHOULD TOTALLY PAINT HIS MAILBOX. Cover it in pokemon stickers. Do it at night and with a hoodie and then jog around and change clothes, just to be sure, and just shake your head going 'those darn kids' if he brings it up :V

[Red Lion]

1 hour ago, 6tails said:

Okay, now that I'm reading this, I'm wanting to come by your place in the middle of the night, have you let in me through the back or something and I camp out there without anyone knowing, then when you go about your day I catch this bastard in the act. Oh I would have SO MUCH FUN with the poor bastard. .

 

1 hour ago, LadyRadarEars said:

Edit: LION YOU SHOULD TOTALLY PAINT HIS MAILBOX. Cover it in pokemon stickers. Do it at night and with a hoodie and then jog around and change clothes, just to be sure, and just shake your head going 'those darn kids' if he brings it up :V

Sounds like a plan, 6tails can hang out in the shed under the back porch with a baseball bat and Lady RE can help me decorate the mailbox. >:B