"Oh no! Your attitude! You are disliked!"

[Zeitzbach]

Before I start, this isn't because someone got all salty at me here because them being all mad isn't really worth consideration. This is in general.

I don't get why people think befriending everyone is a good thing. It isn't.

I'm not going to befriend a tumblrina who can't seperate logical and smart decision from some blog preaching that brainwashed them.

I'm not going to befriend an artist who does nothing but praise himself while dissing others while sucking.

I'm not going to befriend a filthy weeaboo who can't stop asking me about porns.

"This is why we dislike you. You have a bad attitude."

It's not simply bad attitude.

It's filtering.

Friendship is an investment and you better pick the right groups of people to be with. A person can only go far with an enjoyable stressless life if he befriends only the good. Bad friends will drag you down. Good friends will last a long way and support you. Why would I want to be around a person who judges me on every move that doesn't "go his/her way" ? Why would I want to be near a person who go "DON'T DO THAT! IT ISN'T FUNNY!" everytime I try to make a joke?

A girl who is fun to play games with and talk to or a feminazi. Which will you pick?

A shitty "I am the god" artists (who are serious about it) and "Let's learn together seriously" artists. Which will you pick?

The answers are pretty obvious.

Now the main subject of the rant though,

Is when the weeded out side decide to initate the whole fight and start throwing the "Your attitude is shit. I don't like you." cards around.

This is both sad and hilarious. The whole thing screams "You aren't a friend of mine. Your loss. I am a great person to be around."

It isn't a loss. I don't need you for the sake of my future. You're not even pleasant to be around. Stop trying to make it sound like I need to improve so you will accept me when I don't even accept you to begin with. If I try real hard to befriend you, now that is a loss. Welcome to the science fair. We are enemies now because we disagreed.

[MissFleece]

I also don't understand people who get extremely upset when you don't befriend them. Like, we can still be acquaintances. I can sorta tolerate you, what more do you want? 

But then again I don't understand social stuff a lot of the time. 

I'm told I'm getting more "bitchy" but honestly, I'm not being MORE anything, I'm being less nice. My patience for people treating me poorly has run out. If someone thinks not allowing them to insult or demean me is a "poor attitude" then I don't need them around. 

[Zeke]

When I was younger, I was guilty of it, but I had to come to terms that not everyone can be your friend and vice versa. Sometimes personalities mis-match with each other, interests aren't the same, or just because of attitudes that are downright nasty. 

Having a handful of people to associate with is okay. Having too many friends can lead to problems, especially when you try to "force" friends with different personalities to befriend one another.

 

Edited October 9, 2015 by Ozriel

[Ayattar]

Of course. That's why I filtered 80% of this forum on the first day and why I'll filter remaining 90% before the end of this month.

[Zaraphayx]

I know a few people who need to see this, not because they're in the 'undesirable' category but because they're that certain type of person who will bend over backwards to be friends with shitty people at the cost of their own sanity and happiness.

Good post, OP.

[BagelRabbit]

I'm not going to befriend a filthy weeaboo who can't stop asking me about porns.

Wait, why exactly are you in this fandom then?

 

On-topic: I, too, have very little tolerance for anyone treating me badly. As you said, the worst part is that they say it's "your loss" if you leave them. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain from leaving. They, however, are losing a person who will actually listen to them bitching/moaning/preening themselves. They're not saying "it's your loss" out of sympathy or anything, they're saying it selfishly and as a last resort. Don't let them get to you. Just ignore them, and go and make new friends. It's literally that simple.

[Lucyfish]

If people don't want to be friends that's fine, can't get along with everyone.

When someone decides to be a dick about it is where problems arise. And it happens so often, tons of us do it, I know I have. We tend to be pretty personal creatures and sometimes we take small things to heart, even when we know we shouldn't.

[Guest]

Do people actually stay friends with shitty people? Like, outside of highschool? 

Haven't done it to myself in a long ass time. All of my close frineds irl are great folks, likeminded, sweet. Shits gud. 

[Sidewalk Surfboard]

I know a lot of people with shit attitudes. This is why I dislike the majority of my school.

[Charrio]

I find there are Friends, Buddies and Online Acquaintances

Friends being the closest and hardest to become

Buddies being social and fun but no real content.

Acquaintances are people who talk to everyday and are more like schoolmates. You know them online sure but you have no real investment IRL to them just an online person you see frequently.

[Augmented Husky]

I also don't understand people who get extremely upset when you don't befriend them. Like, we can still be acquaintances. I can sorta tolerate you, what more do you want? 

But then again I don't understand social stuff a lot of the time. 

I'm told I'm getting more "bitchy" but honestly, I'm not being MORE anything, I'm being less nice. My patience for people treating me poorly has run out. If someone thinks not allowing them to insult or demean me is a "poor attitude" then I don't need them around. 

Exactly, sure I can maintain the value of extending kindness, but this is no obligation to befriend anyone who says hello to me. Its a shame we have to mention this again.....maintain relationships that grow both people and is conducive to both your health and well being. Other wise...be kind at a distance.

[Kaizy]

I used to have this issue where I was desperate to not cut ties with people regardless of how they treated me and others. Led to a lot of really uncomfortable "friendships" where I was being treated like shit or harassed and I wasn't fully aware of the situation. I've gotten better and I'm at a point where I'm very selective about who I talk to and how I talk to them in order to avoid allowing just anyone to sort of "force a friendship" on me and take advantage of my self-consciousness to continue keeping that relationship with me while treating me like shit.

I haven't seen many instances myself where someone gets legitimately upset at me for not being friends with them, but I also put out the disclaimer anywhere I give out contact info that "I may or may not talk to you, you are not guaranteed a conversation just because you added me", and that seems to have worked pretty well.

[Kaedal]

I just let the filtering happen naturally. If you're a judgemental, prejudiced asshole, you're probably going to be very offended when I joke about people or things that other people might not joke about. Oh, there's never anything mean about my jokes. But humour is a pretty important part of my personality, and it's something that i value greatly. If you can't take my humour, then there will no friendship. Simple as that. 

[MuttButt]

Of course. That's why I filtered 80% of this forum on the first day and why I'll filter remaining 90% before the end of this month.

ayy dude I don't think that's how percentages work

[Luka]

ayy dude I don't think that's how percentages work

Are you having an attitude towards him? Good job on getting yourself filtered!

[MuttButt]

Are you having an attitude towards him? Good job on getting yourself filtered!

I don't wanna get filtered, that sounds icky :<

[Ayattar]

ayy dude I don't think that's how percentages work

X - 80% = 0,2X

0,2X - 90% = 0,02X

If X = 400 then 0,02 X = 8

Yes, it is.

Are you having an attitude towards him? Good job on getting yourself filtered!

Here. sometimes we say that people are "filtering" each other when they're kissing.

[#00Buck]

I prefer no filter. 

Life should be like an open sewer pipe. 

[MuttButt]

X - 80% = 0,2X

0,2X - 90% = 0,02X

If X = 400 then 0,02 X = 8

Yes, it is.

lol I know what you meant, the way you said it just made it seem like you were implying that you "filtered out" 80%, and you were going to filter out the remaining 90% later, so 170%. 

Edited October 9, 2015 by MuttButt

[Ayattar]

lol I know what you meant, the way you said it just made it seem like you were implying that you "filtered out" 80%, and you were going to filter out the remaining 90% later, so 170%. 

I think Poland is close enough to Russia, you know.

[Jerry]

Green Day's "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" is a shockingly accurate description of how I feel about friendships and relationships in general lately. At times I have the impression I don't even filter anymore, I've just put a plug instead, especially IRL. I can't say life is on my side in this regard, after years of bullying and rejection and as many years trying to become a desirable person to be with. Maybe I simply fall in the "undesirable" category. Fine then, I can accept it. At least if I screw up nobody remembers it the next day! =D

Sure there's the Internet today, but at the end of the day you've just read text. It lacks the human warmth of having the person in front of you.

[Wolflich]

This doesn't happen to me because my default assumption about people is that I don't want to know them other than in passing.

[#00Buck]

This doesn't happen to me because my default assumption about people is that I don't want to know them other than in passing.

Be my best friend. 

[Wolflich]

Be my best friend. 

In an absolute or relative sense?

[#00Buck]

In an absolute or relative sense?

In a way other than passing. 

[Wolflich]

In a way other than passing. 

I refuse.

[Mikazuki Marazhu]

People adding/removing people on their friend list as if it means anything

[Clove Darkwave]

If people don't want to be friends that's fine, can't get along with everyone.

When someone decides to be a dick about it is where problems arise. And it happens so often, tons of us do it, I know I have. We tend to be pretty personal creatures and sometimes we take small things to heart, even when we know we shouldn't.

Sometimes you aren't even trying to be a dick, it's just that you naturally keep everyone save one person at arms' length. Couple that with being frank so your point gets across and instantly you're the meanest person ever.

[Lisek]

I don't understand this at all. There are people who befriend everyone? Are they aware of how friends even work? You have a right to be pissed about this, it sounds quite annoying.

[Red Lion]

I had a lot of friends in highschool but as I got older I whittled that down to a handful of close people who's company I actually enjoy. There's nothing wrong with being selective, it's your time and your energy you're spending on these people so if you don't feel like you get anything for your investment you have every right to leave. It's not even a personal thing, you can't expect everyone to be compatible and even if someone treats you amiably that doesn't mean they want to be best buds. By the time I was out of college quite a few people thought I was a hateful asshole and it still catches me off guard when someone seems to actively like me.

[Sutekh_the_Steak]

Yeah, this is true I think. Generally I try to be as nice as possible to everybody, but there's a big difference between doing that that and befriending everybody no matter if they've got shitty attitudes or what. I guess it's a good thing because nobody really sees me as a threat so I don't get into "you're an awful person"/"I hate you" arguments  at all really. 

So far, despite being high school, I think I've filtered my friends pretty well so far. My friends are great - probably the main reason I'll stop being friends with a few of them is just everybody going their seperate ways and falling out of contact once school finishes. There are a few people I probably would filter out if I wasn't still in school, but I'd rather not argue and feud with those two or three people at the expense of time and mental energy I could be using for studying or relaxing or whatever. Besides, I'm only gonna see these people for another year or so and I rarely see them outside of school so it's hardly a priority of mine to stop being friends with them. I can do that when school finishes and I stop contacting them. 

Edited October 10, 2015 by Sutekh_the_Steak

[Dr. Doggo]

I find it good to be decent to most people, not necessarily friends, even if you don't find them particularly likeable or interesting. For example, I like to think I get on well with and have a chat about something with the people on this site even though I secretly loathe everybody

[Ginpanther]

I find it good to be decent to most people, not necessarily friends, even if you don't find them particularly likeable or interesting. For example, I like to think I get on well with and have a chat about something with the people on this site even though I secretly loathe everybody

Well, not so secretly any more... 

[Dr. Doggo]

Well, not so secretly any more... 

is joke

[Kinare]

I'm quite bad about figuring out who is a friend I should keep and who is someone who doesn't mean to be my friend and only means to hurt/use me until I either push them away or they finally hit my breaking point. Unfortunately, so many issues with picking bad friends has led me to be extremely picky and it's hard for me to keep ahold of those who are good to me because I don't know how to cope with normal human things and it pushes even nice people away.