Toshabi Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Is your penis that hard to wield? Art thou's mastery of precise aim and steady flow lost amongst thyself? Hath thou no common decency to make amends with the seat thy desecrated with thy own filth for your brother who wishes to take refuge on it? "And so I had to bear the burden of washing away the sins of thy predecesors, for thy tooshie shall not rest upon the seat of the unclean" -Toshabi 8:62a 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#00Buck Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Did you lick it clean? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recel Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 How horrible fate thou had to suffer through, oh honourable Toshabi. Thou behind shall be forever wet by thy impure penis leakage thou's enemy has left behind. For it is so impure, it can not be cleaned away by mere mortals. :V Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toshabi Posted December 28, 2015 Author Share Posted December 28, 2015 3 minutes ago, #00Buck said: Did you lick it clean? BEGONE, sinner! I cast you off into the blight! I name you unclean. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerry Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Best thread of the day. Just because of the 2nd person singular. May thy wisdom guide us all! That doesn't mean anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axelthefox Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 (edited) I hate that too. Or worst Yet, people who also piss all over the floor of the restroom. I highly doubt they even do that stuff in the bathroom in their own house. Edited December 28, 2015 by axelthefox 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#00Buck Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 I never pee on the toilet seat. I pee directly onto the person sitting on the toilet seat. Cut out the middle man. That's how you get things done. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taikugemu Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 That's why i avoid public restrooms like the plague. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rassah Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Imagine a firehose. For some of us it's kinda like that. Sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinare Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Thor's fault. He left his signature there, so it must be him! His other hammer is probably just too big to aim properly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vitaly Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Revates Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Public toilets are always disgusting and always remind me that too many people can't aim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidewalk Surfboard Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Señor Sal Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 I like setting in them for about 15 mins and wait for people to get halfway into shitting then start screaming like im being stabbed, they usually shit themselves or run out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PastryOfApathy Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 That's why you cover the toilet seat with toilet paper to shield your ass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nova Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 This toilet is nothing. Go into my school. The ground is full with piss and shit is all over the toilet seat . The toilet was locked and cleaned for one day. It was so dirty that it was corrosive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recel Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 (edited) 3 minutes ago, Nova said: This toilet is nothing. Go into my school. [...] Ugh... I could write horror stories about the toilet when I was still in school... They are just the most filthy place, aren't they? Edited December 28, 2015 by Recel 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrDingo Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 12 minutes ago, Nova said: This toilet is nothing. Go into my school. The ground is full with piss and shit is all over the toilet seat . The toilet was locked and cleaned for one day. It was so dirty that it was corrosive. At my school, kids shat in the urinals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PastryOfApathy Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 3 minutes ago, DrDingo said: At my school, kids shat in the urinals. Jesus, why couldn't they just shoot up their school like a normal person? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrDingo Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Just now, PastryOfApathy said: Jesus, why couldn't they just shoot up their school like a normal person? In Britain, the children have no guns Leaving them to resort to vicious alternatives such as farting really hard and putting poo in places where it shouldn't be Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PastryOfApathy Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 6 minutes ago, DrDingo said: In Britain, the children have no guns Leaving them to resort to vicious alternatives such as farting really hard and putting poo in places where it shouldn't be Britain truly is a hellish dystopia... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 (edited) Wait a second, you mean you're a male and pee sitting? WHAT KIND OF MAN ART THOU :V (That's if I've mistaken you as a male all this time, that is) Edited December 28, 2015 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarcastic Coffeecup Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 This is bad. Why the fuck do people do that, ignore manners and shoot piss all over and shit in urinals, that's some grade A retardation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrDingo Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 6 minutes ago, Amiir said: Wait a second, you mean you're a male and pee sitting? WHAT KIND OF MAN ART THOU :V If it's night time and you want to be really really considerate to the people sleeping, you sit your arse down on the seat and go tinkle tinkle instead of standing up and making the sloshsloshslosh noise. Or be a sport and do it out of the second floor window Or you could be one of those efficient economic types who loves nothing more than a simulataneous piss-shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PastryOfApathy Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 5 minutes ago, Sarcastic Coffeecup said: This is bad. Why the fuck do people do that, ignore manners and shoot piss all over and shit in urinals, that's some grade A retardation. Because they're literal subhumans. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarcastic Coffeecup Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 3 minutes ago, DrDingo said: Or you could be one of those efficient economic types who loves nothing more than a simulataneous piss-shit. I do this to prove men can multitask too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrDingo Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Following the urinal poop incident, the people at my school decided they were tired of our crap and decided to remove all of the urinals from the walls. That place is now a danger zone filled with pervs and loo cubicles with broken locks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikazuki Marazhu Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 I use public toilets a lot. I just wipe the seats and get on with my life. No use bitching over incompetent people who have zero shooting skills. I just hope they get fed in CS:GO or Team Fortress Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wrecker Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 put your shoulder into your door then Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shiy0 Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 oh public toilets... over here we got those strange ones wich clean the seat now after someone was in the cabin at some places. still doesn't really work the way its intended to though and instead made me laugh much to badly the first time i saw them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikazuki Marazhu Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Toshabi Threads are so Golden, I love this guy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowsinhiding Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 i think what's worse was when i was 9 i got dragged to a fair and i had to use a porty potty. I opened the door and the seat was covered in vomit. But i had to take a shit so badly i tried to take one standing up which sucks. but on the bright side, taking a shit is one of my favourite things to do. Its just so nice relaxing and generally enjoyable...gives a man some time to think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recel Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 1 minute ago, shadowsinhiding said: but on the bright side, taking a shit is one of my favourite things to do. Its just so nice relaxing and generally enjoyable...gives a man some time to think. I've seen enough furry art to know where this will end. :V Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrDingo Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 5 minutes ago, shadowsinhiding said: i think what's worse was when i was 9 i got dragged to a fair and i had to use a porty potty. I opened the door and the seat was covered in vomit. But i had to take a shit so badly i tried to take one standing up which sucks. I heard that squatting whilst you shit is supposed to be really good for you because it exercises your leg muscles. Replicates the time when prehistoric humans didn't have toilets and would squat in this way to shit whilst standing up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarcastic Coffeecup Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 If you have to shit in the sticks, lean against a tree. Works alright, provided your legs have the strength to maintain an angle. Trust me, I'm an expert :V Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidewalk Surfboard Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 My mom makes us pee on the side of the road during road trips and it is shameful Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PastryOfApathy Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 9 minutes ago, Sidewalk Surfboard said: My mom makes us pee on the side of the road during road trips and it is shameful Could be worse. You could have to piss in a bottle in your own fucking house since some asshole decided to fall asleep in the fucking shower. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recel Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 8 minutes ago, PastryOfApathy said: Could be worse. You could have to piss in a bottle in your own fucking house since some asshole decided to fall asleep in the fucking shower. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brass Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 17 minutes ago, PastryOfApathy said: Could be worse. You could have to piss in a bottle in your own fucking house since some asshole decided to fall asleep in the fucking shower. lol pastry has piss bottles. Go in there and claim that toilet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PastryOfApathy Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Just now, Brass said: lol pastry has piss bottles. Go in there and claim that toilet I did it once okay? And I never spilled it on anyone either so shush. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#00Buck Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 22 minutes ago, PastryOfApathy said: Could be worse. You could have to piss in a bottle in your own fucking house since some asshole decided to fall asleep in the fucking shower. Loser. Your mom will kick you out when she finds them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toshabi Posted December 28, 2015 Author Share Posted December 28, 2015 2 hours ago, Amiir said: Wait a second, you mean you're a male and pee sitting? WHAT KIND OF MAN ART THOU :V (That's if I've mistaken you as a male all this time, that is) I had to poop. I can't poop out of my penis. I tried that once, but the doctor told me that was actually kidney stones, which is technically a form of poop. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#00Buck Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Just now, Toshabi said: I had to poop. I can't poop out of my penis. I tried that once, but the doctor told me that was actually kidney stones, which is technically a form of poop. You should wear a diaper. Then you don't need to worry about toilets. You can also ruin conventions and furries forever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toshabi Posted December 28, 2015 Author Share Posted December 28, 2015 5 minutes ago, #00Buck said: You should wear a diaper. Then you don't need to worry about toilets. You can also ruin conventions and furries forever. I give you permission to go on lunch break. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fantasma Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 What is really fun is finding shit on the bottom (and tops) of the toilet seats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#00Buck Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 16 minutes ago, Johanna Waya said: What is really fun is finding shit on the bottom (and tops) of the toilet seats. Stink Nuggets!!! It's like Minecraft! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PheagleAdler Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Put up the f*cking seat if you're going to stand and pee...and for God's sake, flush your smelly excrement. Standard bathroom etiquette. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidewalk Surfboard Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 1 minute ago, PheagleAdler said: Put up the f*cking seat if you're going to stand and pee...and for God's sake, flush your smelly excrement. Standard bathroom etiquette. It's ok to not flush your piss sometimes but flushing your shit is a must Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azure Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 you havent been to the worst bathroom in san francisco. ill tell ya that pee on the seat is the least of your problems, you need a professional hazmat team for that shit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexxx-Returns Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 5 hours ago, PastryOfApathy said: Could be worse. You could have to piss in a bottle in your own fucking house since some asshole decided to fall asleep in the fucking shower. My brother does stuff like this, spends about 2 hours an evening in the bathroom on average. Sometimes we have to pee outside so I'm a pro by now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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