If you had the power to make laws...

[Guest]

...Which would you impose?

 

For starters I'd make it so that in order to own a pet you'd need a license. I see too many obese dogs around (as well as too much dog shit on the sidewalks), not to mention that they often look fucking sad which gives me the impression they aren't properly looked after/given the needed affection.

Anyway, that's the serious answer as well as the first thing that sprang to mind. Now for the not so serious law: if it's warm outside, clothes are prohibited for good looking men, women and trans people older than 18. Do it. Make this a thing.

[Guest]

A couple things. 

1) women dont need permission from their boyfriends, husbands or fathers to get an abortion or a hysterectomy or anything to do with their bodies
2) Children at 12 make the decision of who to go with in custody cases, barring serious threat of harm to the kid
3) Mothers do not get custody by default
4) in cases of cheating, the cheating spouse doesn't get alimony
5) Prenups should be mandatory in all marriages
6) All religious organizations and churches need to be taxed. 
7) Congress positions now have terms, as do supreme court justicies. Works like the president. 
8) electoral college BS

Thats mostly the stuff I feel strongly about. 

[Zytan]

The ability to vote only being available to those that pass a test on basic politics.

[DevilBear]

Manufacture of methamphetamine will be a crime punishable by death.

Child molestation will be a crime punishable by death.

Forcible rape will be a crime punishable by death.

Accusations of rape proven without a doubt to be fabricated will land the accuser on the sex offender registry.

I'd go on but it gets a little, er... Touchy.

[Kosha]

This thread is going to turn to shit really fucking quick, I can guarantee it.

Anyways: I'd round up all the smug political-types and off them. Yeah, I am a Nazi aren't I?

[Endless/Nameless]

Laws? Where we're going, we don't need laws. B) 

[DevilBear]

Machine guns and abortions for everyone

[Caledonian]

Kilts. I'm going to get everyone in a kilt.

[Faust]

10 hours ago, Zytan said:

The ability to vote only being available to those that pass a test on basic politics.

That rules out most politicians then...

Ok, here's mine:

1. Second homes to be made illegal. If you own a house you must either live in it for at least 25% of the year or rent it out.

2. Council tax for all properties owned and not rented out to be multiplied by a factor based upon their number. If you have two properties that you 'live' in for example, your council tax for both will increase by 20%. With three houses, it's 40% etc etc.

3. Rents to be fixed at a maximum based upon the size, number and type of rooms that property contains (this to include off-road parking) and the average pay grade of local work.

4. All estate agents to be surgically fitted with butt plugs that suddenly extrude spikes in all directions when the built-in lie detector goes off, when the estate agent puts a £100+ charge on an activity that takes five minutes, when they extort more money out of people by faking cleaning bills or move people between properties for no reason in order to earn another fee, when they ignore a legitimate request for repairs, or when I feel like pressing this big shiny gold button marked 'Make those leeches bleed'.

5. On second thoughts, nationalise the housing market.

These are my campaign pledges, if you're voting in the UK elections anytime feel free to put my name down on that ballot paper, you can vote for anyone you like not just the choices they give you. Viva El Junta!

[Spot]

If I had the power to make laws the first one I'd enact is that It'd be illegal to be an asshole. Take that, society!

[Alexxx-Returns]

Unless they have a medical exemption, everyone over the age of 18 should have nipple rings

[Spot]

4 minutes ago, Alexxx-Returns said:

Unless they have a medical exemption, everyone over the age of 18 should have nipple rings

Ok that one just begs the question, why?

[TheGreatFanatic]

Every country in our borders is to have a wall.

[Faust]

55 minutes ago, Mr. Fox said:

Ok that one just begs the question, why?

Well we could save space by storing students on coat hangers...

[Sidewalk Surfboard]

1. Rape accusations would need definite proof before any arrests are made
2. Men who have been raped will by law be protected by the state and will not be denied help
3. Women will not be denied any form of birth control
4. You will be required to have a license in order to have children. If an adult is not fit to be a parent, they will be denied this license. This includes if the adult is mentally or physically handicapped to the point where doing daily activities is difficult, a drug abuser, etc
5. Women will be given equal amounts of time in prison as men if they commit the same crimes
6. Religious facilities will be taxed
7. Online harassment and stalking will definitely be as serious a crime as normal harassment and stalking
8. Transgender individuals will not be denied hormones unless there is a detrimental side effect in the individual
9. Abortions are to be legal throughout the country

[#00Buck]

I'd only have one.

You can do whatever you want as long as you don't harm any person or their property. 

[Faust]

12 hours ago, #00Buck said:

I'd only have one.

You can do whatever you want as long as you don't harm any person or their property. 

Hurrah! That means I can finally open up my facility for gene-splicing animals into hideous monsters!

Don't worry, I won't release them....

[LazerMaster5]

Be cool and don't be a dick.

[root]

Clothes will be optional

On 5/16/2016 at 8:48 PM, DevilBear said:

Manufacture of methamphetamine will be a crime punishable by death.

Wha?

[Faust]

So-called 'Legal Highs' would have to be subjected to the same testing as prescription medication before being sold.

Using the number/letter combination '4U' in a business name will earn you 40 strokes of the knout.

All-in hugging will be an official part of the olympic games.

[Rassah]

On 5/18/2016 at 3:46 AM, Faust said:

Hurrah! That means I can finally open up my facility for gene-splicing animals into hideous monsters!

Don't worry, I won't release them....

As long as they don't qualify as "someone else" with their own bodies being their property, have fun.

 

I would make publicly accessible webcams mandatory in every government office and cubicle, and not working constantly 8 hours a day 5 days a week in a government job (sans 30 minute lunch) an immediately dismissible offence. This would probably make Senators and House members either lose or really hate their cushy do-nothing $250,000 a year jobs (good!), but mostly will hopefully make things run faster. I submitted an application for a student pilot license on April 17th, being told it would take 3 weeks to process (why the fuck so long?!) and I still haven't gotten it. That is after 3 months of dealing with medical approval through FAA. And I'm still waiting for my airplane registration, the process for which started in November, which I can't fly the plane without. The damn FAA is worse than the DMV. And people here wonder why I hate government bureaucracy.

[CETME]

Scrap the payroll tax.

[CETME]

10 hours ago, 6tails said:

Everybody would be required to sleep with me at least once in their lives, within the time frame of turning legal age and thirty years thereafter.

What if is age of consent is lower than the legal age? Like in my state.

[Wax]

Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!

[LazerMaster5]

Legalize gay weed.

And formally disband the Westboro Baptist Church, as well as any other hate groups. We don't need that kind of negativity in our lives.

[Fossa]

-Make college or vocational school free to anyone who wanted to go

-Legalize weed

-Tax churches

-Make the top wealthiest 1% surrender 99.9% of all their wealth to fund education, the arts, research and infrastructure, and then, make them pick beans in Texas, in the hot sun, while I drove around in a big, Purple Cadillac laughing at them. 

[PastryOfApathy]

Make memes illegal and punishable by death.

[LazerMaster5]

Bring furries out of the shadows with a propaganda series highlighting why yiff is good.

[Faust]

14 minutes ago, LazerMaster5 said:

Bring furries out of the shadows with a propaganda series highlighting why yiff is good.

But yiff is more fun if you do it IN the shadows!

[Hux]

Make being a yuppie illegal. Execute all the yuppies.

[LazerMaster5]

10 hours ago, Hux said:

Make being a yuppie illegal. Execute all the yuppies.

Extend that to bronies and fundies.

[Fossa]

Stop Disney (and everyone else) from making Princess cartoons/movies.

In fact, ban Princesses, and everything having to do with them. And Princes, as well, for that matter.

[Frig]

Being a SJW of any form is punishable by intensive hard labor on the construction of the wall dividing the US and Mexico. 

[LazerMaster5]

Ban Keemstar from the internet.

[Falaffel]

2 minutes ago, LazerMaster5 said:

Ban Keemstar from the internet.

You would be a saint. 

[LazerMaster5]

Speaking of saints, pardon the Boondock Saints and let them clean up Boston.

[Faust]

Three days in prison to anyone who misuses the apostrophe.

Five days for using multiple exclamation marks.

A gold star will be awarded for finding legitimate uses of the Interrobang.

[Fossa]

For every hour of video games played, I'd impose a tax of $50, or require one hour of community service, such as picking up trash on the side of the road. My guess it that we'd have very clean roads.

[Faust]

16 hours ago, Fossa-Boy said:

For every hour of video games played, I'd impose a tax of $50, or require one hour of community service, such as picking up trash on the side of the road. My guess it that we'd have very clean roads.

My guess is you'd have a civil uprising.

[Fossa]

5 hours ago, Faust said:

My guess is you'd have a civil uprising.

 

Or maybe even an uncivil uprising.

Well, it'd be a nice change of pace, and a chance to get some exercise! 

[LadyRadarEars]

More likely it would be unenforceable and people would start littering the roads on purpose more. Human beans be spiteful like that :V

I would go more the route of extremely strict laws for DUIs, myself. Along the lines of 'second/third time offenders being restricted from legally buying alcohol anywhere'. And further DUI charges resulting in treating all accidents and injuries caused by the drunk as intentional maliciousness when it comes to sentencing.

[Enigma]

I am the law.

[Faust]

[Kosha]

Make Computer Science required learning in all public schools.

[Fossa]

Require everyone to read two novels by Thomas Mann: "The Magic Mountain", and "Doctor Faustus"...both in and out of school! (John E. Woods translations preferred)

 

[Kinharia]

1 - I'd impose severe tax on all British goods in the event of the UK leaving the EU so as to force companies to remove Ireland's trade dependancy on the UK and move it to mainland Europe

2 - People who commit Anti-Social behaviour will be initially fined 100€ and will double for every event, this will be deducted from any benefits they recieve and will be immiedately removed from any savings/paycheck that comes in.

3 - Legalise Abortion, only the Woman who is carrying the baby has the right to determine if she wants to go to term or not.

4 - All protesters against my rule will be shot on sight :v

[Faust]

22 minutes ago, Kinharia said:

3 - Legalise Abortion, only the Woman who is carrying the baby has the right to determine if she wants to go to term or not.

I'd say the father ought to be involved in the decision too (though ultimate veto may lie with the woman) otherwise we risk further socially alienating the father from the traditional family unit. Not that I subscribe to the idea that the traditional family unit is the only healthy way to bring up a child (or not as the case may be!) but I do worry that men are being regarded as increasingly redundant in the bringing up of children and any move designed to exclude fathers from the equation could have severe social implications further down the line.

Naturally an abusive or absentee father would forfeit any such right.

[Fossa]

Restrict vampire bats to drinking only beet juice

[Enigma]

Life in prison = secret death penalty 

 

Shh don't tell anyone. It's punishable by death.

[fennecbyte]

• Ban proprietary software that's in use by more than 15 people.
• Make software without a copyright notice automatically become public domain.
• Remove any sort of testing in schools and beyond the absolute basics that everyone should know, let students pick what they're most interested in and want to learn.
• Ban Microsoft while we're at it. They're not going to even touch this place with those laws anyway.
• Remove any sort of certification documents beyond the basic general education one.
• Make employers test how good their potential employees are instead of trusting someone else to write a document that might have even been sold for a bribe.

And that's about everything I can think of right now.