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Selfish


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Are you selfish?   

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  1. 1. Are you selfish?

    • Yes
      23
    • No
      8


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Everyone's selfish in some capacity. Even when doing things commonly thought to be "selfless", there's almost always some kind of selfish reasoning to do so (ie. donating to charity to make yourself feel good).

Of course that should never be used an excuse to be a selfish asshole, and really this shit's all relative so who gives a fuck. People should be nice regardless of any stupid faux-philosophical bullshit.

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ain't we all

 

if i find money on the ground, i take it.  if someone offers me something free, i take it--and by free, i mean without any expectation of repayment, because as much as i appreciate them, i don't repay favors.  i don't just give unless it's a friend and/or an emergency and i happen to have enough to spare at the time. 

but when i do choose to give money/time/whatever, it's because i mean it, not just because it's the "right thing to do" or will make me look good.  idgaf about looking good.  but if i like you or care about you, then what's mine is yours and i'll do what i can without expecting anything in return.  the only reason i give something to someone or help anyone other than myself is because i want them to be helped/to have whatever i'm giving them.

i don't put others before myself, but i do put others (at least those i consider worthwhile) on the same level as myself. 

 

 

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Unfortunately yes, very much so.

I try not to be. I'm always ready to help out anyone, but I just don't THINK to offer myself for help. It doesn't occur to me that when I have a bag of potato chips, the person I'm with is expecting me to offer them some (but to be fair this is my fucking bag of potato chips and I don't share my food, if you wanted some I'd have gladly bought you your own bag), so they see me as selfish. I never think that a favour needs to be returned in kind, or that when someone turns down my gas money for making that long ass trip for me, I'm expected to stuff it down their throat so they can't refuse it.

God, social situations are difficult. I want to do more for people, but I don't realise that they're expecting me to offer myself up, and they don't realise that I'm waiting to be asked. I guess people don't want to come across as demanding, and I'm missing the non-verbal cues that this person is trying to get something from me. I hate being autistic.

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I don't know. Maybe I am selfless, but only for a miniscule, negligible amount. I used to be a lot more selfless as a kid: my siblings would ask me money and I'd borrow them what I had. They're my siblings, surely I can trust them right? Wrong: when I'd ask back the cash they owed me, my brother would downright laugh in my face while my sister would ''forget'' she had any debts with me. How stupid and naive of me. Then in high school I would offer my classmates aid for them to get through with certain homework (english above all, a true walk in the park for me), only I would get literally nothing in return. They either ignored me altogether or talked behind my back since I was the ''weird guy'' of the class, secretely making fun of me. So now I am very careful about who I share what little selfless I have with

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We all are, in a sense. Its how you handle that selfishness to turn it to selflessness.

For me, I have a weird concept oc why I care about people and help them. Its all because I can relate it back to me.

How would I feel if that was done to me, good or bad? What would it be like if I were that person in that situation. Every terrible thing that has ever happened to me I would not wish on anyone else. Any good thing that happened to me...I want to return the favor because its right.

 

The other day I thought I lost my headphones in the bathroom and Im just like "Shit, well I hope whoever found them enjoyed finding free headphones". Kind of like if you were the person that found the dollar on the ground...my loss, someone's gain

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3 hours ago, SirRob said:

I'm not selfish at all, I'm perfect and a saint and I deserve respect and to be showered with gifts

What would you like for Christmas? Sit on my lap and tell ClausPachi.

EDIT: Waitwaitwait. Why the fuck shouldn't you be selfish? Who on Earth is more important to look out for than yourself?

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5 hours ago, Alexxx-Returns said:

Unfortunately yes, very much so.

I try not to be. I'm always ready to help out anyone, but I just don't THINK to offer myself for help. It doesn't occur to me that when I have a bag of potato chips, the person I'm with is expecting me to offer them some (but to be fair this is my fucking bag of potato chips and I don't share my food, if you wanted some I'd have gladly bought you your own bag), so they see me as selfish.

You mustve had retarded companions, then. Im the same way with sharing food...I dont usually offer even if its a nice gesture, partially because it slips my mind and partially because anxiety and how theyd react, especially if I just ended up being turned down if they didnt like it rendering the situation moot.

But if people are going to hold you selfish over a damn bag of chips, theyre the selfish ones. 9 times out of 10, unless Im busy or limited or cant, I help people if they ask me to. I've had a coworker whose really open about asking me for my food and this surprises me, but I always share. In return though I have coworkers giving me free stuff without me asking so that makes me an awful person all over again ;w;

 

 

Back on topic, though, if people expect free help all the time and get angry when it doesnt come their way, especially if they dont ask, theyre a nut.

(Since I work in retail Ive attempted to help people by paying for their stuff. The rule is though I cant always do that, because if customers start expecting you to be helpful, the other customers will come in low on money and make demands "Well, you helped THEM, why cant you help ME".Its called a RANDOM act of kindness, sadly everyone cant be helped, and people take advantage of common niceness, kind of stupid(

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I think I am certainly a selfish to some extent, but i find it hard to decide exactly what constitutes selfish behavior and what doesn't.

For example, I used to do a lot of volunteer work, but have volunteered for literally nothing for the past 5 years. I rationalize this as being because I have been busier in those years and because I still (rarely) donate to charities, but really it is because i would much rather spend my time on myself or my friends. Now, I don't think anyone responding to this thread or in other discussions I have had about selfishness has brought up not volunteering as being selfish (probably more the act of volunteering showing greater selflessness than not volunteering counting against someone), but I am not sure if IO should consider myself selfish since I used to volunteer but don't anymore... maybe I am putting too much though into this.

Anyway, more generally I think that I am much more willing to help out friends than strangers, though I still try to be at least courteous to people i don't know. I am kind of odd when it comes to being offered favors/help/things, as i will almost never accept anything from even my closest friends, as I really don't like "owing" a person something in return. I think I don't like the idea of someone holding even a tenuous power over me, able to call it in theoretically at any time. However, I am not generally one to hold it over someone's head that they owe me in return for something I've done, so I'll put that at a net neutral...

Overall, I think i am overall selfish with my free time and excess money, as the overwhelming majority of both I allocate to myself or doing things I enjoy rather than helping others, but I find it hard to define my overall selfishness or place myself in comparison to others.

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I'm selfish, but it works both ways. In situations where you're actually supposed to be selfish, I often feel too selfless and vice versa.

What takes the cake, however, is being accused of selfishness when I'm just minding my own business and not hurting anyone. It's like sometimes need to deliberately behave in selfish ways to give the appearance of being selfless. What they may not realize is that I'm actually being mindful and considerate of others. Not all of us are the same or can be "on" all the time.

I'm convinced that there is something inherently selfish about accusing others of selfishness. It strikes me as a self-aggrandizing move, calculated to back the accused into a corner. Disagreeing can be as self-incriminating as agreeing with them.

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