Rant: My personality sucks

[FlynnCoyote]

10 hours ago, Gamedog said:

If you can't get into an argument with your friends then they weren't your friend to begin with

if you're continuously instigating arguments with your friends then you're a bad friend and you don't deserve sympathy

It's usually the former. Especially in this last case. She took exception to a misunderstanding based on the fact that we have different languages, and then just ran with it. I don't go looking for these arguments, but I am a volatile person at times. In this case however it was entirely her dragging up past instances from years ago and me trying to understand what the hell I said wrong this time.

8 hours ago, DevilBear said:

Just because what you say is right doesn't mean you're right to say it. Only a socially maladjusted imbecile would d-

Oh. Right... Furries.

Just because you use clever word arrangements doesn't make your point objectively valid.

9 hours ago, Lemon said:

You preserve friendships by cherishing your friend, respecting their personal beliefs that don't affect you, and otherwise being a supportive, good friend. You should "watch what you say" in order to maintain these friendships, and instead learn better approaches to having a calm discussion in the frame of mind of being open to a discussion and change, instead of insisting that you are right. At that point, it is a lecture, and absolutely no one wants to be lectured at by someone who wont even take the time to hear them out. 

I make damn sure that every one on one discussion I have is a two way discussion. Or more as groups are concerned. I make sure that I explain where I'm coming from and why I think what I do. It is not my fault that half the people I speak to are completely incapable of viewing their beliefs from an unbiased point of view, and fuck me if I can ever get that point across either. It is also worth pointing out that in the last two years or so I've spent online interacting with these people, I was never the one to bring the hot button topic into the conversation. In hindsight, I honestly think one of the individuals in question just wanted to fuck me off and deliberately pushed my buttons on the matter just so he could justify it to himself. Unfortunately this kind of insight never occurs to me in the moment.

9 hours ago, Lemon said:

Replace "mormon" with anything, and you've got an issue. Replace "Mormon" with "Atheist" and you might see what I mean. You don't get to shit all over someone's faith values and preserve the friendship. Was it a discussion where everyone-including the mormon- was providing fair viewpoints in a calm discussion, or where you--

I've seen the worst of what heavy handed Atheism does to people, and I have since done my best to back off the aggressive stuff. Really, most of what I do now is pose questions of logic that never occur to theists themselves, but even that seems to strike nerves pretty easily. I haven't gone all out abusive on a friend in a religion or political discussion in at least two years now,

9 hours ago, Lemon said:

Yeahh.. you can't have this attitude if you want to keep friends other than staunch atheists. You aren't ever "right" OR "wrong" because of religious/faith values. It is a collection of beliefs someone has true to their heart. You were insulting this person to their very core. At that point, its wrong to d0 that. You soothe a person because you feel genuine remorse of hurting their feelings, having humility, maturity, and tact to say, "look, I really fucked up and got heated. I'm sorry" without following up with, "I was right" by your actions or words. Furthermore, you can't frame yourself to be the pure minded, objective saint while he is just a ruffled SJWy prat or whatever. You're equals, with things that you both know are strengths and weaknesses.

This is not an attitude that I flaunt in the faces of other people. I am not THAT much of a dick. It's just how I usually feel after all the bitching and attempted apologies have been thrown out and they refuse to speak to me for the next few weeks. I have never insisted that I was right in cases like this, but I do press the question of how does the other person know that they are?

9 hours ago, Lemon said:

You gotta ask yourself, is it more important to be RIGHT, or to have Friends? I, personally, refuse to believe it a black or white option, but instead a spectrum. When it comes to discussions to say.. politics or religion, if you otherwise value that friend, deflect or steer off. For things such as media and events you enjoy, that isn't a thing you can be right or wrong with because it has personal preference. The times in which to choose to be "right" is instances of intense racism, homophobia, transphobia, classism, whatever you feel strongly about THAT ALSO involves treating other people. You have to decide for yourself if you want a racist asshole as a friend, and usually that is an instance where its important to be right (in your eyes) instead of retaining Jimbob, the racist friend. Human interaction and behavior is a spectrum, and learning to navigate it takes time, maturity, humility and honesty. 

If I personally suspected that something I'd dedicated my life to was a lie, I'd want to know. Frankly I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone wouldn't.

9 hours ago, Lemon said:

This, however, isn't normal. You should have the adult skills to know when and how to deflect your anger into other, hopefully positive outlets, and not in the form of people. Being a functioning human with your human needs met means a life of compromise. Thats all life is; working with other people to achieve a nice balance. Having two months worth of people angry at you ins't a situation where you are a victim. Take the time to figure out for yourself if the way you treat people is at all a good way to do so. If you remain and say, "this is who I am and I'm not going to compromise on it", then sure, yeah, you're going to have to wait till the dust settles and find just as blunt and- it sounds like- tactless people to surround you. They exist, it just takes time to find them. 

I have plenty of outlets, so at this point I'll inform you that I am not the only one pressing these discussions. For all the people who will never speak to me again, there are a couple who regularly step up and try to provoke the same discussion with me. Maybe the mature thing would be to ignore them? But I think that venting my desire to have this kind of discussion on the people who want it back does help sate the more competitive side of me in this regard. Especially since with most of the other people I talk to it has become apparent that they're not worth having that conversation with. They're either too emotionally attached to a fairy tale or they can't be assed to do any real research and quite often both.

9 hours ago, Lemon said:

However, if you feel like this, the way you have dealt with things is unhealthy and damaging to you, and the people around you. Changing something that feels like the very nature of your core is a long, daunting process, and even having outside help like a couple visits or two to a behavioral therapist for adults may help. 

I managed to glimpse this post earlier today at work and did spend a lot of time thinking on the points here. Considering how much of my life this kind of thing actually takes up (not much at all really) then I don't think having an intellectual fixation on a topic is unhealthy in the slightest. This topic isn't reflected in my art and it doesn't dominate my work or home life. I have a hobby for researching various mythologies and lores and incorporating parallels into my own writing and literature. I can see the swathes of religious beliefs for what they are. A lot of people can't.

The more I've thought on this, the more I think that Vae and Azure are right. 

9 hours ago, Lemon said:

For instance, your wording here is very telling. This girl got tired of the constant huge fights with you, and has felt this way for a long time. The issue here is not the banana bread; its how you handled the banana bread. There are folks here who have had arguments with friends and survived them. You can argue with a friend. You can't do it constantly, and you can't do it in a way that hurts them. Its a shitty way to handle being a human being if all you do is make people tired, irritable, and attacked for things they hold dear, and this may be the view this girl had. The way you said it was flippant, as if you, once again, were the calm mature person and she was irrational and bitter. 

Let me correct you here and say that the fights were not at all constant. We're talking three or four altercations in about as many years, and the first one was probably the worst.

At this point I'll mention that this is the same girl I was talking about in my thread a few months ago, the girl who traveled from Czech to America to meet an online boyfriend for the first time and married him the next day. The same girl who I confessed to having developed strong feelings for over the course of the four years we'd known each other. I am not in the habit of making assumption (because that would make me a hypocrite =D ) but I have begun to suspect this might have some small factor in why she has decided to make this decision now and not one of the other times we got into an argument.

9 hours ago, Lemon said:

In summation, there's a saying:

"If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole." -Raylan Givens, Justified, and an an important article that a "overly opinionated and blunt" guy wrote: "When you Discover that You're the Asshole". 

It may also be possible that Australian social standards don;t really translate well. I actually do get along pretty well with just about everyone I know. Except for some people online from different countries it seems.

[Jaysen]

19 hours ago, FlynnCoyote said:

Well I actually have several friends who have seen me at my worst and powered through it in their own way. One of them just stared me in they eye and laughed. Honest to god laughed in my face. It was actually exactly what I needed at the time. Rather than a bunch of posturing and trying to pretend that they were some kind of moral superior like most of the pretentious asshats in this thread, a simple non serious laugh to show me just how much of a dick I was being was all it ever took.

I do have friends who know how to handle me. I guess really my gripe is why can't everyone else harden the fuck up and be like us?

Oh yeah. =( I guess that's a problem... you know, I think people just take it way too seriously! ^^; After all, it's just words! You're not trying to hurt them or take things from them. Maybe if people learned to talk less, and have fun more (safe fun though! Please, be safe. o-o), they would be happier and fight less.

[Revates]

1 hour ago, FlynnCoyote said:

It may also be possible that Australian social standards don;t really translate well. I actually do get along pretty well with just about everyone I know. Except for some people online from different countries it seems.

Wat

[FlynnCoyote]

7 minutes ago, Revates said:

Wat

Stop stressin cunts, I'm just takin the piss.

[FlynnCoyote]

41 minutes ago, Sylver said:

Why do you feel the need to argue with them?

That seems exhausting.

Honestly? I think I actually enjoy the conflict. I don't think it actually has anything to do with being right, one of the most heated arguments I've had this year was with another atheist and I have no recollection of what it was even about.

Similarly, I recall the first interaction I had with who is now probably my closest friend began with an exchange of opinions and me concluding with "Go fuck yourself." Over a year later and now we chat nearly every night about story ideas. Dude even has a book published and I have a copy on my desk right beside me. We get along great.

[Falaffel]

Sounds to me like you have no interest in changing and that all you really need are people willing to put up with your shittiness. 

And, I mean, that's one way to live your life. If you're comfortable with a large amount of people hating your deplorable attitude and having to stick to only making friends with people who are patient enough to deal with you, that's fine. Honestly, it's totally ok.

You'll just have to not be so surprised when everyone else finds you to be an utter annoyance and therefore doesn't respect anything you have to say. 

[Vallium]

Mostly just asking questions to gauge what you meant when interacting with him, if you didnt want to insult him you couldve asked him how he feels and give him a chance to speak, and to be fair every one of those religions has faults in certain sects but doesnt make its entirety wrongful, he probably shouldnt have gotten offended if its an aspect of it thats a real world problem, though.

 

in any case, I didnt mean to touch a nerve, just wanted to ask about whatever couldve made that a wrong situation.

 

In any case it doesnt matter its up to you if you want to keep friends by being respectful of their emotions, feelings, and boundaries by disregarding hot subjects, or if you want to be open in your opinions and make enemies or turn people away (especially if youre vain, bitter, self-right). Neither are wrong, but if you want to keep friends AND be open in discussion you need a fair spectrum of both restraint and discourse, be able to word yourself in ways that wont harm others. 

In my opinion, I simply dislike offending or harming others since Ive never had a lot of friends to begin with, theres too much to argue or fight about in this world and Id personally rather avoid confrontation and maintain friendliness with those I speak with

[PastryOfApathy]

You want me to let you in on a little secret? The key to how over all this time I've managed to make so many friends around here without anyone really hating me (barring certain edge cases)?

It's because despite initial appearances, I'm incredibly nice. But more importantly, I'm respectful of other opinions and beliefs. 

From everything I know about you and have gleamed from your own words in the OP, I can say with full-confidence that you're not a nice person. In fact some would go as far as to call you a massive dickhead.

A person who can't stand the notion of people disagreeing with them, or holding conflicting or "lesser" beliefs than yours. A sad individual that meets those who express beliefs that have literally zero impact on you in any shape, way or form with scorn and ridicule (since contrary to popular belief, most mormons aren't polygamist pedophiles sitting on a stash of magic underpants and Mitt Romney bumper stickers).

I'm sorry to break it to you, but you will never ever meet someone who shares the exact same opinions of you 100% of the time about everything. But even if you did, that would suck since listening to other people's (often conflicting) opinions is one of the greatest ways to grow your own.

At this current rate I can honestly say that you're not destined to have any close, life-long friendships nor relationships if you keep pushing away people who exhibit anything remotely resembling a conflicting belief.

However by making this thread, you've at least acknowledged your issue and are attempting to walk down the path of improving yourself and becoming a bett-

7 hours ago, FlynnCoyote said:

It may also be possible that Australian social standards don;t really translate well. I actually do get along pretty well with just about everyone I know. Except for some people online from different countries it seems.

oh...  

</nerdessay>

[#00Buck]

33 minutes ago, PastryOfApathy said:

You want me to let you in on a little secret? The key to how over all this time I've managed to make so many friends around here without anyone really hating me (barring certain edge cases)?

It's because despite initial appearances, I'm incredibly nice. But more importantly, I'm respectful of other opinions and beliefs. 

From everything I know about you and have gleamed from your own words in the OP, I can say with full-confidence that you're not a nice person. In fact some would go as far as to call you a massive dickhead.

A person who can't stand the notion of people disagreeing with them, or holding conflicting or "lesser" beliefs than yours. A sad individual that meets those who express beliefs that have literally zero impact on you in any shape, way or form with scorn and ridicule (since contrary to popular belief, most mormons aren't polygamist pedophiles sitting on a stash of magic underpants and Mitt Romney bumper stickers).

I'm sorry to break it to you, but you will never ever meet someone who shares the exact same opinions of you 100% of the time about everything. But even if you did, that would suck since listening to other people's (often conflicting) opinions is one of the greatest ways to grow your own.

At this current rate I can honestly say that you're not destined to have any close, life-long friendships nor relationships if you keep pushing away people who exhibit anything remotely resembling a conflicting belief.

However by making this thread, you've at least acknowledged your issue and are attempting to walk down the path of improving yourself and becoming a bett-

oh...  

</nerdessay>

This is why Pastry is my hero and I salute my Fur-heur. 

[FlynnCoyote]

Some pretty big assumptions here.

The people I have pushed away are the few, not the majority. And I made this thread because I felt bad about it. Seems you've overlooked where I said I have found people online who can put up with me easily, and pretty much all the close friends I have in real life are quite fond of me as well (that's about a dozen people if you want a number).

Yes I've driven people away, but they're the exception not the norm and I think I had to have this discussion to remember that. But think what you will. Sure I can be a massive dickhead at times, but I'm not unfair.

[Feelwell]

6 hours ago, FlynnCoyote said:

Some pretty big assumptions here.

The people I have pushed away are the few, not the majority. And I made this thread because I felt bad about it. Seems you've overlooked where I said I have found people online who can put up with me easily, and pretty much all the close friends I have in real life are quite fond of me as well (that's about a dozen people if you want a number).

Yes I've driven people away, but they're the exception not the norm and I think I had to have this discussion to remember that. But think what you will. Sure I can be a massive dickhead at times, but I'm not unfair.

I mean that is entirely your point of view.

But hey, some people like massive dick

heads.

[Falaffel]

8 hours ago, FlynnCoyote said:

Yes I've driven people away, but they're the exception not the norm and I think I had to have this discussion to remember that. But think what you will. Sure I can be a massive dickhead at times, but I'm not unfair.

lmao

 

You do realize that all any of us have to go off of is your shitty behavior here, right? Why're you even defending yourself? No one here cares. No one here cares about who you say you are because we've all witnessed how you act here. You're not going to convince anyone here with words over actions. Like I said, you should stop being so surprised when people stop respecting you and anything you say. Accept it and move on or make attempts to improve. Don't sit here and fight about it. 

[FlynnCoyote]

If by that you mean join your circlekerk, then I'm good where I am. 

Speaking of circles, I guess this one is done. 

[Vae]

11 hours ago, FlynnCoyote said:

And I made this thread because I felt bad about it.

If you actually felt bad about it, nearly every post in this thread wouldn't be trying to excuse or justify the behavior.

I really don't know what you expected out of a thread like "My personality sucks," while turning around and getting pissed off that people are agreeing that yeah, you're being kind of a prick.

Other than thinly-veiled clawing at pity points.
But no one's obligated to give you those.

[FlynnCoyote]

1 minute ago, Vae said:

If you actually felt bad about it, nearly every post in this thread wouldn't be trying to excuse or justify the behavior.

Why?

[Cingal]

I think a lot of people try too hard to be edgy, honestly.

 

I know it's cliche, but, just be yourself, those who're worth you keeping around will find you eventually.

 

Doubt and self-pity are easy things to fall into. They are things I've fallen down to all too often.

[Faust]

If you don't like who you are, the only person that can do anything about it... is you.

[Tsuujou]

Jesus Christ.

[Zaraphayx]

7 hours ago, FlynnCoyote said:

If by that you mean join your circlekerk, then I'm good where I am. 

Speaking of circles, I guess this one is done. 

Lots of people have the same exact problem with my behavior???

Can't be my fault; must be a circle jerk.

You're so dense that you've got your own event horizon, from which not even a clue could escape.

Don't take it personally though buddy I'm just being honest. :^)

[Tsuujou]

8 minutes ago, Zaraphayx said:

You're so dense that you've got your own event horizon, from which not even a clue could escape.

OUCH

[willow]

6 hours ago, FlynnCoyote said:

Why?

[Socketosis]

On 9/26/2016 at 7:50 PM, Lemon said:

In summation, there's a saying:

"If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole." -Raylan Givens, Justified, and an an important article that a "overly opinionated and blunt" guy wrote: "When you Discover that You're the Asshole". 

Unless you're on Youtube...

I have to know what the argument over banana bread was about. I mean, fucking banana bread.

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Zaraphayx said:

You're so dense that you've got your own event horizon, from which not even a clue could escape.

after that burn i may as well close the thread holy fuck we're done here

[PastryOfApathy]

12 hours ago, FlynnCoyote said:

Why?

If you can't figure out the answer then quite frankly you're beyond help.

[FlynnCoyote]

6 hours ago, Zaraphayx said:

Lots of people have the same exact problem with my behavior???

Can't be my fault; must be a circle jerk.

You're so dense that you've got your own event horizon, from which not even a clue could escape.

Don't take it personally though buddy I'm just being honest. :^)

You'd think so, but it's the same little cluster of people who clamber over each other every time I or someone tries to be serious, and the only time you don't devolve the thread into a shitposting storm is if one of you takes it seriously first. It's not "lots of people," it's the same few over and over.

And yes it is a circlejerk of friends, simply because I'm not alone in my stance. There have been others in the thread who have seen more than your side of the issue here.

5 hours ago, Socketosis said:

Unless you're on Youtube...

I have to know what the argument over banana bread was about. I mean, fucking banana bread.

She tweeted about how much she loves banana bread.

I replied that I think it's good, although over-hyped.

She told me sure, that's just my opinion.

I replied "It's definitely opinion."

 

I guess she mi-interpreted the word definitely, because that's when she went off and started dragging up how negative I'd been in the past and wouldn't accept that she'd read my comment the wrong way. I was also under the impression that we had come to good terms early this year since we hadn't fought since then. But she took this opportunity to drag it all back up, shit on all my efforts to behave myself and just generally tell me I'm a horrible person.

My reason for making this thread was in hindsight pretty stupid. I was upset and dwelling too much on things I've done rather than things I'm trying to do. Fuck it, she's gone and I'm just gonna have to live with it.

5 hours ago, willow said:

 

5 minutes ago, PastryOfApathy said:

If you can't figure out the answer then quite frankly you're beyond help.

It was a genuine question. If I was having this discussion with the people I'm talking about, then yes it would just be a long line of excuses. I thought by bringing it here I could have a more impartial discussion, but it seems that some of you just want to cling to what I've done in the past as well. And while that is worth acknowledging, it is also remarkably unhelpful when your replies basically amount to "You's a awful person and you's dumb."

So... Gamedog, Azure, Jaysen, Cingal, thanks, you were actually insightful or helpful in some way. Vae too I guess.

Almost everyone else, thanks for trying.

[Zeke]

[Zaraphayx]

1 hour ago, FlynnCoyote said:

You'd think so, but it's the same little cluster of people who clamber over each other every time I or someone tries to be serious, and the only time you don't devolve the thread into a shitposting storm is if one of you takes it seriously first. It's not "lots of people," it's the same few over and over.

And yes it is a circlejerk of friends, simply because I'm not alone in my stance. There have been others in the thread who have seen more than your side of the issue here.

 

it's endlessly funny to me how poorly socialized nerds online have such a warped view of group dynamics that you describe nearly all expressions of normative social behavior in negative, adversarial terms.

Is it that we detest seriousness or that we share a distaste for pretentious, bombastic, and over-elaborate presentations of ideas that aren't nearly as sophisticated, novel, or important as their author seems to think they are? I'm not entirely sure who you think the circlejerk encompasses but I would challenge you to find a member among them who has never once taken a discussion seriously.

Also, the entire OP of this thread is a contradiction to your point unless all of your friends you keep pissing off with your obtuse behavior are also somehow part of the shitpost circlejerk.

Hope this helps, you're welcome. :^)

[Socketosis]

1 hour ago, FlynnCoyote said:

She tweeted about how much she loves banana bread.

I replied that I think it's good, although over-hyped.

She told me sure, that's just my opinion.

I replied "It's definitely opinion."

Ooh, I've come across her art before. Reading the tweet chain, she did seem to overreact over a misunderstanding. She knows you better than I do, so maybe she is just assuming going by how you've acted in the past. It reads like, the others have said, that this is definitely not about the banana bread. If it were just that, I'd say she's a bit too sensitive.

[evan]

frankly it is impossible to talk to someone who thinks everything is an invitation for them to state their opinion. 

 

referring to simple discussion as circlejerk is misinterpreting mutual interests as a lack of honesty. being able to let someone else feel validated isn't a compromise, it's a simple acknowledgment of their emotions instead of deciding to be about whatever you want to say whenever you want.

 

i'm personally with the people marking you as incapable of understanding the problem with your attitude.

[MuttButt]

The denial is real. It's not a circle jerk if everybody just happens to agree almost unanimously that you're being an ass. It just means you're being an ass.

 

[Tsuujou]

4 hours ago, Zeke said:

Basically. 
Also, the "circlejerk" in this thread is sort of compounded by the fact that the majority of us aren't new to Flynn. I mean, he's not the worst person ever by any stretch, but I didn't need this thread to know he wasn't the most enjoyable personality to be around. The conniptions he threw in site discussion over the most nothing crap were enough.

And Flynn, how are you gonna go "my personality sucks" and then get mad when people go "agreed"? lmao

General consensus =/= circlejerk

[I Did It For The Cat Girls]

For some peculiar reason, I'm either comparatively well-liked or tolerated by most people that I happen across.

Like, I find this weird as all hell because I've been told multiple times in the past that I always look angry, and angry-looking individuals aren't particularly renowned for being readily approachable.

I couldn't really comprehend why I was so magnetic to other people until I started asking some of my closest friends and associates what, exactly, it is that draws people towards me. It couldn't have possibly been because of my miraculously good looks (though despite me being short for a guy, I have an overall stocky build, so that's one pro worthy of mentioning, lol).

They said that I'm "very easy to talk to", that I'm "chill", and that I have a good head on my shoulders. 

Even today, I understand where they are coming from. You'll be taken aback at how receptive and open others immediately become if you express even the slightest amount of interest in their day-to-day lives. Hell, you don't have to agree with a person's worldly perspectives, political opinions, religious beliefs--and chances are, you won't--but asking questions and lending a strong listening ear will get you much farther with someone than throwing a condescending comment or venomous retort their way.

Maintain a neutral stance when conversing with others. Don't be a doormat, but don't be so quick to latch on to every "wrong" opinion or statement that manifests before you.

No one likes that one guy who ignites a spat over the most mundane of things, yo.

 

 

 

[Tsuujou]

1 hour ago, I Did It For The Cat Girls said:

For some peculiar reason, I'm either comparatively well-liked or tolerated by most people that I happen across.

Like, I find this weird as all hell because I've been told multiple times in the past that I always look angry, and angry-looking individuals aren't particularly renowned for being readily approachable.

If you're who I think you are, I never noticed that about you. I just thought you were savage af. 

[PastryOfApathy]

7 hours ago, FlynnCoyote said:

It was a genuine question. If I was having this discussion with the people I'm talking about, then yes it would just be a long line of excuses. I thought by bringing it here I could have a more impartial discussion, but it seems that some of you just want to cling to what I've done in the past as well. And while that is worth acknowledging, it is also remarkably unhelpful when your replies basically amount to "You's a awful person and you's dumb."

So... Gamedog, Azure, Jaysen, Cingal, thanks, you were actually insightful or helpful in some way. Vae too I guess.

Almost everyone else, thanks for trying.

Yes, you did in fact ask a genuine question and much to your apparent dismay, got genuine answers.

If you don't wanna help yourself when literally everyone gave you both the tools, the knowledge, and babby's first step-by-step guide to basic human interaction then that shit ain't my problem fam. 

Also you have a gross fetish avatar lmao

[#00Buck]

14 hours ago, Zaraphayx said:

Lots of people have the same exact problem with my behavior???

Can't be my fault; must be a circle jerk.

You're so dense that you've got your own event horizon, from which not even a clue could escape.

Don't take it personally though buddy I'm just being honest. :^)

You forgot to mention you're gay. 

[Falaffel]

7 hours ago, FlynnCoyote said:

She tweeted about how much she loves banana bread.

I replied that I think it's good, although over-hyped.

She told me sure, that's just my opinion.

I replied "It's definitely opinion."

 

I guess she mi-interpreted the word definitely, because that's when she went off and started dragging up how negative I'd been in the past and wouldn't accept that she'd read my comment the wrong way. I was also under the impression that we had come to good terms early this year since we hadn't fought since then. But she took this opportunity to drag it all back up, shit on all my efforts to behave myself and just generally tell me I'm a horrible person.

"Oh, gee, I can't seem to figure out why this person would think I am acting like dick. Nevermind the numerous past times I have been a dick that would lead her to believe I may be."

You're cute. 

It honestly is a shame you have no introspection. Some times you have a good point, some times you can be smart! But the way you argue your opinions, beliefs, and facts is so horridly annoying that I, and many others, simply do not have the patience to deal with you. I believe that if you weren't a socially maladjusted prick, I could even stand sharpen my own beliefs and knowledge with you own - after all, arguments are rarely meant to have winners and losers, but both parties to gain a better understanding. However, you're incapable of such discussion. 

 

This all comes down to respect. Respect is hard to earn, especially if you've lost it in the past. 
Respect is earned in many ways. Showing interest in others, being supportive and friendly. Most importantly, however, would be having mutual respect for others. 
You seem to be lacking in all three, but there's no better time to start building up those properties than now, eh?

[FlynnCoyote]

9 hours ago, Zaraphayx said:

Hope this helps, you're welcome. :^)

I know all about confirmation bias. It's great for arguing in matters of fact vs opinion, much less applicable in matters that are entirely subjective. Regarding the tidbit about self image, know that nobody here is by any stretch the first person to point any of these things out to me.

9 hours ago, Socketosis said:

Ooh, I've come across her art before. Reading the tweet chain, she did seem to overreact over a misunderstanding. She knows you better than I do, so maybe she is just assuming going by how you've acted in the past. It reads like, the others have said, that this is definitely not about the banana bread. If it were just that, I'd say she's a bit too sensitive.

I thought it was all water under the bridge. After our last big spat we had a period of silence, and then at some point it was broken (I don't remember which of us it was) and we had a good long talk about both of our faults and what we need to do if this friendship was to survive. I agreed that I had to be less negative (worth mentioning at this point is that her own twitter and skype statuses were quite often mopey self loathing crap) so I put in my best effort to keep positive and avoid hot button topics with her. Maybe it wasn't enough, but we definitely didn't have any arguments between then and now. All I can conclude is that she never really forgave me.

7 hours ago, MuttButt said:

The denial is real. It's not a circle jerk if everybody just happens to agree almost unanimously that you're being an ass. It just means you're being an ass.

It isn't unanimous. It isn't even almost unanimous. And I never denied that my personality wasn't abrasive.

6 hours ago, XoPachi said:

Also, the "circlejerk" in this thread is sort of compounded by the fact that the majority of us aren't new to Flynn. I mean, he's not the worst person ever by any stretch, but I didn't need this thread to know he wasn't the most enjoyable personality to be around. The conniptions he threw in site discussion over the most nothing crap were enough.

Yes, and I admit to all of this. I am not proud of any of it. In fact I quite often look back on things I've said and cringe, but none of us live with the ability to see the future do we? Nor can any of us really predict exactly how others are going to react. I never set out to be a shining beacon of hugs and kisses, I just set out to decide what I felt was important enough to be taken seriously and put my take on it. In retrospect, I absolutely took it too seriously and put my heart too deep into it. So I'm not perfect, and I feel strongly about things when I decide they're important to me. Lesson learned? Let things go.

6 hours ago, XoPachi said:

And Flynn, how are you gonna go "my personality sucks" and then get mad when people go "agreed"? lmao

I'm not mad. I am genuinely enjoying this. If I seemed upset, it was because I just lost a friend. But none of your observations on my personality are really inaccurate, just some of the assumptions about my social life are.

5 hours ago, I Did It For The Cat Girls said:

Even today, I understand where they are coming from. You'll be taken aback at how receptive and open others immediately become if you express even the slightest amount of interest in their day-to-day lives. Hell, you don't have to agree with a person's worldly perspectives, political opinions, religious beliefs--and chances are, you won't--but asking questions and lending a strong listening ear will get you much farther with someone than a throwing a condescending comment or venomous retort their way.

I know. I have actually learned a lot from some of the people I've argued with in the past. That is literally the best part about it. The amount of times I've learned something new and had to readjust my own views is actually pretty high. I am completely willing to listen to others' views, the problem is that a lot of people can't actually tell me any information that I don't already know, at least in regards to a few certain topics. It tends to make the conversation tedious, I get bored, and I get snippy. So I try to skip to the part where we ask why we believe what we do, and that makes me come across as impatient. This is probably the most common problem I have.

4 hours ago, PastryOfApathy said:

Yes, you did in fact ask a genuine question and much to your apparent dismay, got genuine answers.

What dismay? This has been pretty fun.

4 hours ago, PastryOfApathy said:

If you don't wanna help yourself when literally everyone gave you both the tools, the knowledge, and babby's first step-by-step guide to basic human interaction then that shit ain't my problem fam. 

The assumption here is that I need help, that I am socially required to change simply because a handful of people in a forum don't like how I conduct myself.

4 hours ago, PastryOfApathy said:

Also you have a gross fetish avatar lmao

Yea, I love how vore is not pornographic at all. When I can muster the effort I'll work out a better avoretar just for you, maybe even a nice sig pic too.

3 hours ago, Falaffel said:

I believe that if you weren't a socially maladjusted prick, I could even stand sharpen my own beliefs and knowledge with you own - after all, arguments are rarely meant to have winners and losers, but both parties to gain a better understanding. However, you're incapable of such discussion. 

Socially maladjusted prick? I know what an argument is for, that's why I keep as objective as possible. I also know that most people become defensive when their beliefs are threatened, and defensive people take things personally very easy. You are incorrect in your assumption that I cannot have that kind of discussion, because it is exactly that kind of discussion I enjoy the most.

It is difficult here, for reasons I'll try to rephrase. Circlejerk was not the best choice of words, but there is definitely a mob mentality that takes place when the matching opinions of the many outnumber the opposing viewpoints of the few or even the one. I would honestly much prefer to have this kind of talk one on one. It is much less pressure, free from interference by shitposters and other forum members who like to throw themselves into the discussion with a pre-existing bias. 

3 hours ago, Falaffel said:

Respect is earned in many ways. Showing interest in others, being supportive and friendly. Most importantly, however, would be having mutual respect for others. 
You seem to be lacking in all three, but there's no better time to start building up those properties than now, eh?

What earns my respect is a willingness to accept that one's core beliefs can be false, to be willing to accept that . Respect and friendship are not pre-requisite of each other. Under the right conditions two people can have a rational discussion despite not being fond of each other, and two close friends can fall into a heated difference of opinions. That's just how shit is and I'm not blind to that. But I can respect someone as a person without having much respect for their intelligence. Or their creative ability. Or whatever.  It's not just on and off I respect someone or not, there are many aspects to a person worth considering. It's entirely possible to highly respect someone without calling them a friend, and likewise possible to consider someone a friend without respecting them as much as the former.

This is difficult for me to convey, mostly because I struggle to explain myself when I'm upset over something like at the start of this thread, but I disagree with the assumptions that I am the sole cause for every problem I've had with other people. I know I can be a forthright cunt. But I think a lot of that is how I perceive the forum. I didn't come to this site with a group of long standing friends, and I didn't have the greatest social life during my early school years. I look back on older threads I'm involved with, and I realize that I see this place the way I saw back then. Everyone else has their groups, and I arrived here essentially on my own. It has become apparent to me that I easily fall into the Me vs Everyone mentality and the only difference is that there is no fear of physical reprisal on a website.

 

So. Do I need to change? Despite what others say, I generally don't think I do. However I know my situation better than any of you, and I know that I'll never be able to convince anyone of what kind of person I am via posts on the forum for the reasons I just said. So the only real option I have here if I want to prove myself (to myself as much as anyone else) is to say that I'm completely open to one on one interactions. Skype or twitter is easiest, so I'll make sure both are visible on my profile. Just say who you are here if you do decide to add me. Notes or PM's work as well.

There is literally nothing left for me to say on this. I'm gonna shower, get some food, and then just continue living. All of you have a good one.  

[Falaffel]

6 minutes ago, FlynnCoyote said:

I know all about confirmation bias. It's great for arguing in matters of fact vs opinion, much less applicable in matters that are entirely subjective. Regarding the tidbit about self image, know that nobody here is by any stretch the first person to point any of these things out to me.

I thought it was all water under the bridge. After our last big spat we had a period of silence, and then at some point it was broken (I don't remember which of us it was) and we had a good long talk about both of our faults and what we need to do if this friendship was to survive. I agreed that I had to be less negative (worth mentioning at this point is that her own twitter and skype statuses were quite often mopey self loathing crap) so I put in my best effort to keep positive and avoid hot button topics with her. Maybe it wasn't enough, but we definitely didn't have any arguments between then and now. All I can conclude is that she never really forgave me.

It isn't unanimous. It isn't even almost unanimous. And I never denied that my personality wasn't abrasive.

Yes, and I admit to all of this. I am not proud of any of it. In fact I quite often look back on things I've said and cringe, but none of us live with the ability to see the future do we? Nor can any of us really predict exactly how others are going to react. I never set out to be a shining beacon of hugs and kisses, I just set out to decide what I felt was important enough to be taken seriously and put my take on it. In retrospect, I absolutely took it too seriously and put my heart too deep into it. So I'm not perfect, and I feel strongly about things when I decide they're important to me. Lesson learned? Let things go.

I'm not mad. I am genuinely enjoying this. If I seemed upset, it was because I just lost a friend. But none of your observations on my personality are really inaccurate, just some of the assumptions about my social life are.

I know. I have actually learned a lot from some of the people I've argued with in the past. That is literally the best part about it. The amount of times I've learned something new and had to readjust my own views is actually pretty high. I am completely willing to listen to others' views, the problem is that a lot of people can't actually tell me any information that I don't already know, at least in regards to a few certain topics. It tends to make the conversation tedious, I get bored, and I get snippy. So I try to skip to the part where we ask why we believe what we do, and that makes me come across as impatient. This is probably the most common problem I have.

What dismay? This has been pretty fun.

The assumption here is that I need help, that I am socially required to change simply because a handful of people in a forum don't like how I conduct myself.

Yea, I love how vore is not pornographic at all. When I can muster the effort I'll work out a better avoretar just for you, maybe even a nice sig pic too.

Socially maladjusted prick? I know what an argument is for, that's why I keep as objective as possible. I also know that most people become defensive when their beliefs are threatened, and defensive people take things personally very easy. You are incorrect in your assumption that I cannot have that kind of discussion, because it is exactly that kind of discussion I enjoy the most.

It is difficult here, for reasons I'll try to rephrase. Circlejerk was not the best choice of words, but there is definitely a mob mentality that takes place when the matching opinions of the many outnumber the opposing viewpoints of the few or even the one. I would honestly much prefer to have this kind of talk one on one. It is much less pressure, free from interference by shitposters and other forum members who like to throw themselves into the discussion with a pre-existing bias. 

What earns my respect is a willingness to accept that one's core beliefs can be false, to be willing to accept that . Respect and friendship are not pre-requisite of each other. Under the right conditions two people can have a rational discussion despite not being fond of each other, and two close friends can fall into a heated difference of opinions. That's just how shit is and I'm not blind to that. But I can respect someone as a person without having much respect for their intelligence. Or their creative ability. Or whatever.  It's not just on and off I respect someone or not, there are many aspects to a person worth considering. It's entirely possible to highly respect someone without calling them a friend, and likewise possible to consider someone a friend without respecting them as much as the former.

This is difficult for me to convey, mostly because I struggle to explain myself when I'm upset over something like at the start of this thread, but I disagree with the assumptions that I am the sole cause for every problem I've had with other people. I know I can be a forthright cunt. But I think a lot of that is how I perceive the forum. I didn't come to this site with a group of long standing friends, and I didn't have the greatest social life during my early school years. I look back on older threads I'm involved with, and I realize that I see this place the way I saw back then. Everyone else has their groups, and I arrived here essentially on my own. It has become apparent to me that I easily fall into the Me vs Everyone mentality and the only difference is that there is no fear of physical reprisal on a website.

 

So. Do I need to change? Despite what others say, I generally don't think I do. However I know my situation better than any of you, and I know that I'll never be able to convince anyone of what kind of person I am via posts on the forum for the reasons I just said. So the only real option I have here if I want to prove myself (to myself as much as anyone else) is to say that I'm completely open to one on one interactions. Skype or twitter is easiest, so I'll make sure both are visible on my profile. Just say who you are here if you do decide to add me. Notes or PM's work as well.

There is literally nothing left for me to say on this. I'm gonna shower, get some food, and then just continue living. All of you have a good one.  

k

 

But also

7 minutes ago, FlynnCoyote said:

What earns my respect is a willingness to accept that one's core beliefs can be false, to be willing to accept that . 

It must be sad not being able to respect yourself.

[FlynnCoyote]

20 minutes ago, Falaffel said:

It must be sad not being able to respect yourself.

k

[MuttButt]

1 hour ago, FlynnCoyote said:

There is literally nothing left for me to say on this. I'm gonna shower, get some food, and then just continue living. All of you have a good one.  

1 hour ago, FlynnCoyote said:

k

[PastryOfApathy]

1 hour ago, FlynnCoyote said:

The assumption here is that I need help, that I am socially required to change simply because a handful of people in a forum don't like how I conduct myself.

So you're saying that this thread was literally pointless in every conceivable way?

epik

1 hour ago, FlynnCoyote said:

Yea, I love how vore is not pornographic at all. When I can muster the effort I'll work out a better avoretar just for you, maybe even a nice sig pic too.

lol fetishes aren't exclusively sexual sillypants

although tbh it's irrelevant since we all know you furiously masturbate to it anyways lmao

[Sidewalk Surfboard]

So you made a thread stating your personality sucks and got bitchy when people agreed?

Were you looking for asspats or something?

[evan]

you shouldnt post threads anymore.

[Guest]

At this point, this thread is getting less constructive.. but its still on topic. 

If anything, I think the point of the thread has been exhausted. 

[#00Buck]

28 minutes ago, Lemon said:

At this point, this thread is getting less constructive.. but its still on topic. 

If anything, I think the point of the thread has been exhausted. 

 

 

[DrGravitas]

21 hours ago, FlynnCoyote said:

You'd think so, but it's the same little cluster of people who clamber over each other every time I or someone tries to be serious, and the only time you don't devolve the thread into a shitposting storm is if one of you takes it seriously first. It's not "lots of people," it's the same few over and over.

And yes it is a circlejerk of friends, simply because I'm not alone in my stance. There have been others in the thread who have seen more than your side of the issue here.

She tweeted about how much she loves banana bread.

I replied that I think it's good, although over-hyped.

She told me sure, that's just my opinion.

I replied "It's definitely opinion."

 

I guess she mi-interpreted the word definitely, because that's when she went off and started dragging up how negative I'd been in the past and wouldn't accept that she'd read my comment the wrong way. I was also under the impression that we had come to good terms early this year since we hadn't fought since then. But she took this opportunity to drag it all back up, shit on all my efforts to behave myself and just generally tell me I'm a horrible person.

My reason for making this thread was in hindsight pretty stupid. I was upset and dwelling too much on things I've done rather than things I'm trying to do. Fuck it, she's gone and I'm just gonna have to live with it.

 

It was a genuine question. If I was having this discussion with the people I'm talking about, then yes it would just be a long line of excuses. I thought by bringing it here I could have a more impartial discussion, but it seems that some of you just want to cling to what I've done in the past as well. And while that is worth acknowledging, it is also remarkably unhelpful when your replies basically amount to "You's a awful person and you's dumb."

So... Gamedog, Azure, Jaysen, Cingal, thanks, you were actually insightful or helpful in some way. Vae too I guess.

Almost everyone else, thanks f

From the way I read it, the way you phrased your response "It's definitely opinion", is vague and easily misinterpreted as an accusatory statement, coming off as "yeah, but so is yours!" which would be unnecessarily belligerent.

I doubt they misunderstood the definition of definitely, but rather were primed by your past behaviors towards them to interpret the ambiguity as further hostility.

Ambiguity will always exist in statements, you have to rely on driving a persons cognition towards the intended conclusions. That requires more than simply further statements. In cases such as this it requires a reputation of positive past interactions.

At least, that'd be my take on it.

Edited September 29, 2016 by DrGravitas
Mobile is breaking the quote :\

[Jtrekkie]

Flynn, at least in the beginning, most people were attempting to help you. That may not have been clear. You did after all say you appreciated bluntness.

[#00Buck]

1 hour ago, Jtrekkie said:

Flynn, at least in the beginning, most people were attempting to help you. That may not have been clear. You did after all say you appreciated bluntness.

They may have meant 420 blaze it. 

 

[Cingal]

I think I legit have nightmares where I'm this unpopular.

[I Did It For The Cat Girls]

On ‎9‎/‎28‎/‎2016 at 10:20 PM, XoPachi said:

If you're who I think you are, I never noticed that about you. I just thought you were savage af. 

I used to be a very angry little fuck about two or three years ago. Since then, my average mood has improved substantially, I've sharpened my social skills quite a bit, and my self-esteem isn't as low as it once was. I learned to stop taking life and people so seriously, and I've gotten pretty good at eliminating stressors in my life within a relatively short timeframe.

I mean yeah sure, let's not kid ourselves here: there's still an undercurrent of everlasting anger coursing through me and I certainly have those days where I want the world to piss off and leave me be, but I've gotten much more experienced at handling those negative emotions.

Blunting my cynicism and cold misanthropy is a work in progress, though. :v