Spot Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I have a fix for all of the above. Step one: Take 1 Viagra Step two: Assume doggystyle position. Profit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PastryOfApathy Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 1 hour ago, AlexInsane said: "So, kids, don't have sex." "Because God will be angry?" "No, because it's a huge disappointment and it's better that you don't ruin your dreams." "Teacher, is that true?" "Your first time having sex will be the worst experience of your life. You will feel like your entire body is made out of elbows that you are forever sticking in your own and your significant other's eyes. There will be pain - you will tell yourself to suck it up, that it's something to work past, and you might, but it's killed your erection for the rest of the night. You will be hot, sweaty, uncomfortable. You will have someone breathing on you, and their breath will smell like rotting meat. You will have to spend approximately 10 minutes working out how to put the condom on a flaccid penis, said penis having gone flaccid because it had given up all hope of getting any action. After it's done, you will lay there, flat on your back, staring up at the ceiling as if trying to divine the future in it. Five minutes later your lover will start snoring." Alex we get it, you're a miserable. self-loathing misanthrope. Don't gotta be projectin' and shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexInsane Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 5 minutes ago, PastryOfApathy said: Alex we get it, you're a miserable. self-loathing misanthrope. Don't gotta be projectin' and shit. What's the point of being a miserable, self-loathing misanthrope if you don't make people just the same as you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spot Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Oh you guys. Here, have some art about a movie I can't stop d'awwing over. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LazerMaster5 Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 You can learn a lot from post-vegan grindcore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teto Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Fucking BOKE. I stayed out until 6am until my flatmate accidentally locked me out. I ended up rattling the chain so much that she woke up and thought we were being robbed, so she let me in. I was contemplating sleeping on the stairs outside. The joys of student life, I tell you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spot Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 So, yeah. Just started watching "Mr. Pickles" and that is fucked up beyond all reason. I thought "Ren & Stimpy" and "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" were bad but nope, I think we have a new champion. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spot Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 This is how fucked up it is, I can't even see my last post. LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarcastic Coffeecup Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 2 hours ago, Mr. Fox said: So, yeah. Just started watching "Mr. Pickles" and that is fucked up beyond all reason. I thought "Ren & Stimpy" and "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" were bad but nope, I think we have a new champion. MIR. PICKLES GOOD BOYYYYYY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khaki Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 7 minutes ago, Saxon said: I think that's because you want to convince children that, when they're old enough to begin having sex, they should be mindful about the associated risks and the contraceptive options available to them. Prostates don't relate to that. Also, contrary to other people's experiences of their teachers being puritanical, a teenager in my class asked 'why don't we just avoid these issues by not having sex?' and the teacher was frank that, since sexual urges are so difficult to resist, that this wouldn't be a pragmatic recommendation. Ehh, I actually agree given that police officers in my country have, in numerous cases, been shown to deliberately ignore crimes if they are committed by people they perceive as oppressed, even when those crimes included drugging and raping children. It's as if the police thought that, because racists might use examples of criminality to justify their beliefs, that they were obliged to undertake cover ups. ~Sex Ed~ I'm aware, I was just stating that introducing sex education in the US won't mean Jimmy will know what a prostate is. In fact, I didn't even know a prostate was a thing until I later learned that you could get cancer with it. ~Saxon's Politically Correct Dystopia~ Disgruntled Lynch mobs when? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FenrirDarkWolf Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 We didn't have sex-ed at my school. But our science teachers sure loved to bring up the reproductive system. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FenrirDarkWolf Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 @Caledonian One time I had to dissect a sheep heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy Lee Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 On 2/6/2016 at 0:14 AM, AlexInsane said: "So, kids, don't have sex." "Because God will be angry?" "No, because it's a huge disappointment and it's better that you don't ruin your dreams." "Teacher, is that true?" "Your first time having sex will be the worst experience of your life. You will feel like your entire body is made out of elbows that you are forever sticking in your own and your significant other's eyes. There will be pain - you will tell yourself to suck it up, that it's something to work past, and you might, but it's killed your erection for the rest of the night. You will be hot, sweaty, uncomfortable. You will have someone breathing on you, and their breath will smell like rotting meat. You will have to spend approximately 10 minutes working out how to put the condom on a flaccid penis, said penis having gone flaccid because it had given up all hope of getting any action. After it's done, you will lay there, flat on your back, staring up at the ceiling as if trying to divine the future in it. Five minutes later your lover will start snoring." First time was kinda pathetic, but not that pathetic. I remember some fondling, poking, prodding, then flopping and thrusting on top of them, then I was done. I mean, it lasted maybe 20-30 minutes but the actual thrusting less than 5 minutes. Thankfully I THINK I'm better now than then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexInsane Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 10 hours ago, 6tails said: My sex-ed classes were fucking hilarious. All boys, so the teacher had no problems explaining anything to us. My favorite thing from him, which I still remember: "Class, how deep is the average vagina?" *Nobody answers.* "Deep enough that you can lose your house, your kids, half your life savings, and reputation. Always wear a condom." He'd been divorced twice. I'm amazed he didn't say "Fuck guys, not bitches." instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuttButt Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 I went to catholic school, and our sex ed was actually pretty great. Our first day we all had to stand up in front of the class and say the actual name for the various sex organs (penis, vagina, testicles, etc.) to get the middle school willies about it out of our systems. It was pretty informative and I seem to recall them discussing various forms of contraception and not even giving us an abstinence shpiel or anything like that. I don't remember ever discussing abortion or plan-b though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy Lee Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Well then. Carolina Panthers haven't won a Super Bowl in their entire existence, and they still can't win. Oh well. Play better then you shits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FenrirDarkWolf Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 14 minutes ago, MuttButt said: I don't remember ever discussing abortion or plan-b though. I mean... it IS Catholic school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuttButt Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Just now, FenrirDarkWolf said: I mean... it IS Catholic school. True! My point was really just that for catholic school, it seemed a whole lot better than a bunch of people's public school sex ed was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FenrirDarkWolf Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Just now, MuttButt said: True! My point was really just that for catholic school, it seemed a whole lot better than a bunch of people's public school sex ed was. True true x3 Our school knew we were going to fuck anyway, so they basically made us live with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endless/Nameless Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 I have deliveries coming tomorrow from both FedEx and UPS... I'd love to see them both show up at the same time and, like, stare each other down or something.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PastryOfApathy Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Welp, I got a job interview tomorrow. Let's pray nothing horrible happens. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FenrirDarkWolf Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 24 minutes ago, 6tails said: Okay, now that the Superb Owl is over, I'm ordering pizza. Too lazy to cook! FEED ME Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LazerMaster5 Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 And the weeks fly by. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newt Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 When your favorite soldier in XCOM 2 dies *salutes* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frozen Glacier Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 NOOOOOOOOO! Not spoilers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spot Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 3 hours ago, 6tails said: Double cheese, philly steak, ham, pineapple, banana peppers, jalapenos, BBQ sauce. Spicy pineapple-jalapeno chicken wings with sweet mango habanero sauce. I hate you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caledonian Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 9 hours ago, FenrirDarkWolf said: @Caledonian One time I had to dissect a sheep heart. Me too, icky enough my classmates later placed half a heart om top of my bike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vallium Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Most people that know me call me by my nickname "Val" So Eggy asked me what my name would be and I got to thinking what my full name would be, I have a lot of choices http://www.babynamespedia.com/start/m/val Valborg is a thing I wonder what it would take to get my full name legalized as one of these Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Suddenly: Thick, heavy unexpected snowfall! Also: 2 hour Monday morning meeting D: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evan Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 interview went...they said it was fine but that was terrible. and they said some things that made me realize i'm behind on my applications. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 This meeting's going into overtime! Also, the snow stopped and melted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FenrirDarkWolf Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 6 hours ago, Caledonian said: Me too, icky enough my classmates later placed half a heart om top of my bike ewwwwwwww Now I need to dissect your heart and find the sheepy love :^) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LazerMaster5 Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 1 hour ago, FenrirDarkWolf said: ewwwwwwww Now I need to dissect your heart and find the sheepy love :^) That would involve killing her first. Do you really want to do that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 (edited) Meeting was inconclusive. They'll schedule another one later to finish it. Somebody please save me. Edited February 8, 2016 by DrGravitas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidewalk Surfboard Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Holy fuck Frontier has the worst fucking customer service in the history of internet service providers 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FenrirDarkWolf Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 2 hours ago, LazerMaster5 said: That would involve killing her first. Do you really want to do that? No. Open heart surgery :^) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endless/Nameless Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 My Wii U finally arrived, but it had to be TODAY of all days that Nintendo had to take the eShop down for maintence; can't download any of my games for another 1 1/2 hours... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endless/Nameless Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 3 hours ago, Sidewalk Surfboard said: Holy fuck Frontier has the worst fucking customer service in the history of internet service providers Ouch, you have Frontier?? I feel genuinely sorry for you............ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidewalk Surfboard Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 It's 80 god damned degrees in the middle of February. Is this how I die? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grassfed Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 6 minutes ago, Sidewalk Surfboard said: It's 80 god damned degrees in the middle of February. Is this how I die? That's not even hot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidewalk Surfboard Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 2 minutes ago, grassfed said: That's not even hot! It is for the middle of winter! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GamingGal Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Holy shit my fucking king snake won't eat and I'm goddamn about ready to throw him outside or something >.> Not that I would do that, but jeez it's been four months and no food. I've tried feeding him in his tank and outside his tank and in the dark and in the light and letting the mouse sit for a bit and all kinds of things. My ball python never gives me any stress except for turning his nose every now and then, but this fucking snake ugghhhhh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy Lee Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 10 hours ago, WolfNightV4X1 said: Valborg is a thing I've been trying to figure out a long version of Lee for a while... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FenrirDarkWolf Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 1 hour ago, Sidewalk Surfboard said: It's 80 god damned degrees in the middle of February. Is this how I die? And here in Texas it's half that temp. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toboe Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 2 hours ago, Sidewalk Surfboard said: It's 80 god damned degrees in the middle of February. Is this how I die? Nice summer weather! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luca Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I am absurdly upset that GameTrailers has shut down for good today. That was the first forum I ever stuck around, back in 2005-2009. They were the best gaming forum. The mods were great, letting us have our fun but keeping things managed. So many events stick out. Hype unbelievable! Bigger stuff than I ever saw on faf. So many people. 3/4 of my current online friends are from that forum. Hell, a mod from there directed me to faf in the first place. The forums have been dead for years but the content was still solid and the staff were good people. It's like watching your favorite bar close. :c 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LazerMaster5 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vallium Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Due to a lot of the online communities I've been in I've run into a lot of friends, a lot of them transgender, and learned a lot about myself along the way. One of the first friends I had back when I admitted my feelings on the subject myself and then came out themselves was one of the first people I knew originally as a he and then became a she (Gronix...I should find her, I miss her). It can be odd at first, but I've surprisingly come to realize just how smoothly it feels to me to make that change. It gets to a point where I don't even have to think about it and my brain is automatically wired to use the right and correct pronoun or name when passibly thinking or talking about them because it's exactly how I see them as they dictate it. Soonafter it just is. I don't know, just a passing thought. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FenrirDarkWolf Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 1 hour ago, WolfNightV4X1 said: Due to a lot of the online communities I've been in I've run into a lot of friends, a lot of them transgender, and learned a lot about myself along the way. One of the first friends I had back when I admitted my feelings on the subject myself and then came out themselves was one of the first people I knew originally as a he and then became a she (Gronix...I should find her, I miss her). It can be odd at first, but I've surprisingly come to realize just how smoothly it feels to me to make that change. It gets to a point where I don't even have to think about it and my brain is automatically wired to use the right and correct pronoun or name when passibly thinking or talking about them because it's exactly how I see them as they dictate it. Soonafter it just is. I don't know, just a passing thought. I miss Gronix :c 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terminal7 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I've been passing out more and more lately. What's crazy is that I never remember anything beforehand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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