sinners The Confessional Box

[Vallium]

32 minutes ago, Enigma said:

 

Also I am looking forward to and slightly dreading the end of next month. My boyfriend is coming to live with me and the anniversary of a really good friend's death.

Congrats on your bf moving in at least

..that second part though does remind me of an anniversary as well

It feels like so long ago. Its sad

[Endless/Nameless]

8 hours ago, Lemon said:

I can't connect with someone who doesn't do anything creative. If they don't write or sing or do something with their hands I kinda feel really far away from them. 

Creative people make me feel like I'm using up space. 

But yet I'm a desparate hanger-on if I happen to know one I idolize. >_> 

[Ricky]

 

9 hours ago, Lemon said:

I can't connect with someone who doesn't do anything creative. If they don't write or sing or do something with their hands I kinda feel really far away from them. 

I also am much too soft a lot of the time. 

I can't write or sing, but I certainly do lots with my hands to help fix that :3

[Falaffel]

This forum makes me uncomfortable sometimes.

[DevilBear]

Lemons right. I totally get where he's coming from. I find it easy to connect with more creative people too. 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Ricky said:

I can't write or sing, but I certainly do lots with my hands to help fix that :3

 

[Fantasma]

Lately I've had a few nights where I layed in pure pyschosomatic pain and thought of suicide until 4 AM. Then go to work and ask to go home, unpaid.

I think things are getting better though

[Zipline Orange]

Sometimes I consider getting in the car and driving away and never coming back. Not really a destination in mind, just seeing where I end up until i run out of gas. But then I remember that is what my father did and I go back to being a noodle online.

On 5/24/2016 at 7:27 AM, Falaffel said:

My sin is being a fucking pussy bitch. 

I thought you were a bird.

[Falaffel]

3 minutes ago, Zipline Orange said:

I thought you were a bird.

Some people say pussy bitch and bird are synonymous.

[Kosha]

I enjoy pop punk.

[Spot]

I refuse to confess about almost anything because reasons.  

[TheGreatFanatic]

I look at FNaF porn.

[Frozen Glacier]

I'm scared of dogs.

[Hux]

2 hours ago, ShioBear said:

i throw the bacons at all the Islams

*triggered*

[LadyRadarEars]

I watched so many cute fox videos that I can now mimic a lot of their noises. As well as their laughing. And my laugh has been almost entirely replaced by the creepy foxlaugh now.

[Fossa]

On 6/22/2016 at 9:07 PM, Zipline Orange said:

Sometimes I consider getting in the car and driving away and never coming back. Not really a destination in mind, just seeing where I end up until i run out of gas.

I confess to having the exact same impulses, and then, just as I'm about to act on them I remember: I don't have a car.

[Ricky]

On 6/22/2016 at 6:07 PM, Zipline Orange said:

Sometimes I consider getting in the car and driving away and never coming back. Not really a destination in mind, just seeing where I end up until i run out of gas. But then I remember that is what my father did and I go back to being a noodle online.

Well, don't be stupid like he was and stop at a gas station at some point. :V

[Wax]

On 24/06/2016 at 5:29 PM, Kosha said:

I enjoy pop punk.

Pop punk is always either pretty good or just complete shit.

[Kosha]

1 hour ago, Wax said:

Pop punk is always either pretty good or just complete shit.

Kind of how I feel about synthpop.

[DrGravitas]

I am mildly irritated that I have to start censoring my female model's breasts (outside the RL) again.

On 06/26/2016 at 4:00 AM, LadyRadarEars said:

I watched so many cute fox videos that I can now mimic a lot of their noises. As well as their laughing. And my laugh has been almost entirely replaced by the creepy foxlaugh now.

That sounds adorable! I want to hear this!

[Hewge]

Sometimes I may post things that I'll regret.

But not really...

[Hux]

I like Disturbed's cover of S&G, but only a little bit.

[LadyRadarEars]

I finally watched zootopia the other day and now I am filled with the desire to write fanfictions.

 

help

On 6/27/2016 at 0:17 PM, DrGravitas said:

That sounds adorable! I want to hear this!

Maybe I can record it or something and share it with people, or something I guess. I can do a lot of silly noises.

[Pignog]

i confess to farting up the office from all the beans i eat, ruining the workplace for everyone

its me, im the office farter

[Guest]

I CONFESS I'M FUCKIG INSANE

Lol just kidding. I'm just insaen

[Fossa]

I find video games boring, and don't play them. With the exception of some basic arcade style ones...and those make me feel like maybe I could develop autism, if I played them long enough. Maybe? Tempest especially I liked, but might do this.

[Jayke]

I confess that I rely on luck more than actual skill.

[Ricky]

1 hour ago, Rhíulchabán said:

I confess that I hoard things and have a hard time giving up material possessions, although luckily I still desire to organize them and keep things clean, keeping me from being a true hoarder... And I am getting better at getting rid of things, but it is still very hard 

You just named two disorders involving dopamine, specifically in the VTA and/or downstream in the reward center of the brain. You can look up "obsessive hoarding" and "punding" if you want.

6 hours ago, Fossa-Boy said:

I find video games boring, and don't play them. With the exception of some basic arcade style ones...and those make me feel like maybe I could develop autism, if I played them long enough. Maybe? Tempest especially I liked, but might do this.

Lol, reverse Autism x3

I'd almost say maybe from injury but it's too specific of a subset of problems affecting many different areas of the brain.

[Fossa]

6 hours ago, Ricky said:

You just named two disorders involving dopamine, specifically in the VTA and/or downstream in the reward center of the brain. You can look up "obsessive hoarding" and "punding" if you want.

Lol, reverse Autism x3

I'd almost say maybe from injury but it's too specific of a subset of problems affecting many different areas of the brain.

I wrote a song once called, "I wanna be Autistic". (KInd of punk/pop style) Not to mean any offence to people along the spectrum, but I thought that it could also have certain benefits; a tighter focus on just a few things, as opposed to my thoughts scattered in a million directions.

[Alexxx-Returns]

On 16/06/2016 at 6:54 PM, Endless/Nameless said:

Forgive me Father, for I have been a meathead. My last confession was 18 days ago. This is my sin:

I believe The Phantom Menace was a good film for the wrong audience.

I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE the prequels.

I saw them as a kid and while my dad had watched the original movies while I was around (I have memories of playing with toys and stuff while certain scenes were on in the background) they were my only experience of Star Wars. I think that's the reason I still like them so much as an adult. For a lot of people, the prequels must have been far removed from what they grew up with and loved, but for me, that was all it was. I watched the original movies eventually, and really liked them, but I'll never stop loving the prequels. Sometimes I feel quite alone about this.

I think that whole thing about people growing up with either trilogy was the reason I was so afraid to watch the new movie when it came out. Since so many people grew up with the originals, and saw the prequels as adults when they came out, and hated them, I was afraid it would be the same for me with the new one. Which, now that I saw it finally, is a personal message to me to give things a chance that you think you'll hate because you might fucking love them.

16 minutes ago, Fossa-Boy said:

I wrote a song once called, "I wanna be Autistic". (KInd of punk/pop style) Not to mean any offence to people along the spectrum, but I thought that it could also have certain benefits; a tighter focus on just a few things, as opposed to my thoughts scattered in a million directions.

I'd happily trade.

It would be nice to experience even a single day in my life where I can feel connected to people, and not be on the outside looking in, even when I'm in the middle of a group of people hanging out and having fun. I never feel like I'm with them. I always feel like every other person on the planet is separated from me by some massive bubble that encloses all of them and separates them from me. I'm not in that bubble, god no - I'm not trapped, I'm free to walk around this earth as much as I want, go anywhere, do anything. But I'm disconnected from all other people. Even when around others who I love and who love me in return, I feel incredibly lonely.

And knowing this is as good as it's ever gonna get, that you can't ever change this about yourself and be happy, kinda kills you. This is why I feel suicidal pretty much all the time - I have a life ahead of me that isn't worth living. It's pointless, it's a waste of oxygen and resources, I can never be happy or achieve the things I want to achieve.

So yeah, autism really sucks and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

[Fossa]

23 minutes ago, Alexxx-Returns said:

I'd happily trade.

It would be nice to experience even a single day in my life where I can feel connected to people, and not be on the outside looking in, even when I'm in the middle of a group of people hanging out and having fun. I never feel like I'm with them. I always feel like every other person on the planet is separated from me by some massive bubble that encloses all of them and separates them from me. I'm not in that bubble, god no - I'm not trapped, I'm free to walk around this earth as much as I want, go anywhere, do anything. But I'm disconnected from all other people. Even when around others who I love and who love me in return, I feel incredibly lonely.

And knowing this is as good as it's ever gonna get, that you can't ever change this about yourself and be happy, kinda kills you. This is why I feel suicidal pretty much all the time - I have a life ahead of me that isn't worth living. It's pointless, it's a waste of oxygen and resources, I can never be happy or achieve the things I want to achieve.

So yeah, autism really sucks and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

I feel for you. I often feel like I'm also in a kind of bubble, but it's harder to explain exactly how. Maybe in that I just find it very hard to feel a deep connection to others? Or that I very easily feel lonely, and disconnected. Like you, I'm not exactly trapped, and yet, it feels that way: in terms of money, my daily routine, time slipping away, not being able to really picture any job I can see myself doing and being happy at that is at all practical/gonna happen, being lousy with computers, not even having a smart phone, feeling kinda left behind financially and technologically. But cut off in some other ways, too. Like what the world values, is not what I'm good at, and that things are hopeless. It's hard, and I feel what your saying, though in a different way. I also have fought off the suicidal thoughts, especially about jumping in front of the train...I have this long, 2.5 hour commute to work, and while waiting on the platform on a grey day, as the express passes by and I wait for the dumpy slow commuter train, and feel the wind and the vibrations through the concrete, there is this urge, not rational, more like an impulse. And even with meds, and therapy, it is always there, like something that will one day (possibly) grow too strong, like an undertow.

So no, I wouldn't wish Autism or depression, or anything like these on anyone; psychology and meds are in such a primitive state; I've tried so many things over the years, and yet, none of them have done much 'successfully (especially the SSRIs, which were a total nightmare), aside from maybe sedate me.

I think the main thing has been writing, mainly poetry, that has saved me, as well as a few songs, and some fiction. But I never could see making a living off this, which is what I'm most interested in/passionate about.

[Another Ampers&]

1 hour ago, Fossa-Boy said:

I wrote a song once called, "I wanna be Autistic". (KInd of punk/pop style) Not to mean any offence to people along the spectrum, but I thought that it could also have certain benefits; a tighter focus on just a few things, as opposed to my thoughts scattered in a million directions.

I wish I could make you autistic for a single day so you could experience what it's like to have the word "blumpkin" on repeat for hours on end

[Ricky]

7 minutes ago, Another Ampers& said:

I wish I could make you autistic

That would be a pretty fun ability, to make someone autistic just by looking at them.

[Alexxx-Returns]

18 minutes ago, Ricky said:

That would be a pretty fun ability, to make someone autistic just by looking at them.

I thought the Sonic franchise had this ability? =V

[Spot]

I don't even read threads anymore. I just read the OP, state my opinion and move on. I will (usually) address any replies, though.

[Alexxx-Returns]

I've developed a bit of a laxative problem as of recently. I think my body is already becoming tolerant to them because the last dose I took didn't work.

[Dr. Doggo]

24 minutes ago, Alexxx-Returns said:

I've developed a bit of a laxative problem as of recently. I think my body is already becoming tolerant to them because the last dose I took didn't work.

be careful

i don't want to read a news article when a nice young lady dies horribly from an overdose of laxatives

[Fossa]

1 hour ago, Alexxx-Returns said:

I've developed a bit of a laxative problem as of recently. I think my body is already becoming tolerant to them because the last dose I took didn't work.

Huh, that sounds like no fun. Have you tried changing your diet, and eating more fruits and veggies? Maybe getting a juicer? It always seems that ones bowels are looser, with a juicer. Well, hope ya feel better. Have you talked to a nutritionist? This might be a good approach; not sure the exact circumstances, but just throwing the idea out there.

[Alexxx-Returns]

51 minutes ago, Fossa-Boy said:

Huh, that sounds like no fun. Have you tried changing your diet, and eating more fruits and veggies? Maybe getting a juicer? It always seems that ones bowels are looser, with a juicer. Well, hope ya feel better. Have you talked to a nutritionist? This might be a good approach; not sure the exact circumstances, but just throwing the idea out there.

I think in the last few days I've been eating less fiber then normal since I've been away, but I have IBS so my bowel habits are all over the place at the best of times. It's quite normal for me to go a week or so without going, but some good ol' bisacodyl has never failed to get results.

I take them so I can purge my system. I like knowing there is nothing in my digestive system that can make me bloated at all, so I'll be nice and thin(ish).

[DrGravitas]

I secretly feel like a loser for not staying out to do some dumb crap like go to a bar or club while I'm on vacation so near so many such things in a place I may never see again. I don't drink so what would be the point? And yet, I feel bad for not going out on my own and instead being back by 11pm in a land where the sun sets at 11:30.

[Jtrekkie]

On 6/22/2016 at 6:59 AM, Johanna Waya said:

I have to have some form of habit, something to do. It used to be hypnosis, then binging video games, now I'm designing a tiny house.

It's really exciting because I have designed a house that is made from a 20' shipping container (so tornado resistant), 2 bed 1 bath, full utilities, full kitchen. It would only cost at most 45k including delivery and install.

Just so excited, if anyone wants to download a free program called sketchup I can share the files. 

 

I've been following an acquaintance building a home out of two shipping containers. It's really something, completely self contained. He has it buried to keep the temperature stable, and it's heated and cooled geothermally. He even rewired everything to DC to simplify the solar system (which we should be doing anyway. Not too many electronics need AC to begin with.) There's so many things you can get creative with. 

 

And I'm going to come back around now, think I had an adequate hiatus.

But still, things are heavy everywhere. It sometimes happen that we betray what we stand for from naïvety, or foolishness, or even laziness, only to realize what has been given up was priceless can never be repaid. And some other times we can find that the last thing causing us to act, or for some of us even live, is that someone is watching, and perhaps we are holding someone up. This is something that everyone experiences sometime, a point when all he values is outside himself, and if he is unlucky it is somewhere he can't reach. It's not an ending, but it is painful, and that pain can betray.

[Spot]

Even though I'm straight, I have a lisp that makes me sound like I'm gay. It's really weird. ._.

[Fossa]

10 hours ago, Jtrekkie said:

I've been following an acquaintance building a home out of two shipping containers. It's really something, completely self contained. He has it buried to keep the temperature stable, and it's heated and cooled geothermally. He even rewired everything to DC to simplify the solar system (which we should be doing anyway. Not too many electronics need AC to begin with.) There's so many things you can get creative with. 

Huh, curious. I've been looking into this, as well. Because Baltimore is a port city, you can get some really chap deals on used containers, I love some of the things I've seen where two or three are combined. Plus, they come in quite a variety of sizes, and the taller ones are about 10' in height. Could be a way to own a home I can actually afford. Plus I like the DIY aspect & I like the solar electricity idea, as well. I've seen a few books on the topic , will have to take a peek at them.

 

[Fantasma]

2 hours ago, Fossa-Boy said:

Huh, curious. I've been looking into this, as well. Because Baltimore is a port city, you can get some really chap deals on used containers, I love some of the things I've seen where two or three are combined. Plus, they come in quite a variety of sizes, and the taller ones are about 10' in height. Could be a way to own a home I can actually afford. Plus I like the DIY aspect & I like the solar electricity idea, as well. I've seen a few books on the topic , will have to take a peek at them.

 

One company you can ask questions is customcontainerliving, they do things pretty well (not the artsy stack-like-legos approach).

Honestly one 20' is good enough for 1 set of people to live in, and you can just insulate them well and bam: tiny house.

 

[Jtrekkie]

I can't run anymore. It's been too long. I'm done. I'm tired of letting someone else take the blame for my actions.

 

I shot the deputy. 

[Fantasma]

16 hours ago, Jtrekkie said:

I can't run anymore. It's been too long. I'm done. I'm tired of letting someone else take the blame for my actions.

 

I shot the deputy. 

We're here for you Jere.

[DrGravitas]

I have been getting embarrassed by certain Discord posts lately and deleteing them before anybody reads them, or at least responds to them...

[Sidewalk Surfboard]

I sometimes imagine elaborate music videos in my head that include things I'm obsessed with. I'm such a dork.

[Proper noun]

Sometimes i wonder if my neighbors named their dog B.J because they use it for BJs 

[Endless/Nameless]

22 minutes ago, Sidewalk Surfboard said:

I sometimes imagine elaborate music videos in my head that include things I'm obsessed with. I'm such a dork.

I also do that.