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How do You Pretend to Look Busy?


JegoLego
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Share some stories with us about how you get (or got) away with doing barely anything at work/school! Or even better, have you ever gotten caught doing it?

I work at the deli section of a grocery store, and when I try to look busy I usually sweep when there's nothing to sweep up, or start a conversation with a customer.  I also pretend to organize our displays, when i'm really just shifting them 2 inches to the right.

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If I'm working in the kitchen I push in half full trays onto the conveyer belt and look as if I waited eagerly for them to come out clean so I could do more dishes...when there isn't any.

I can peek into the machine and see where they're going for added effect.

"If you're not doing anything could yo-"

-"No I'm waiting for these mugs to come out. Really busy"

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2 minutes ago, Proper noun said:

Instead of working i would just draw. I got caught a few times and all my teachers knew but my 6th grade math teacher almost sent my to in-school.

"in-school"?

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I walk around and pretend to be looking for something. I also find that if you stare at people with a vaguely sexual and vacant expression they'll be too intimidated to bother you. I only do this to male coworkers because females might get scared and spread rumors about me, whereas other males know that I'm just fucking with them. It's still effective.

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4 minutes ago, Hux said:

I find that if you stare at people with a vaguely sexual and vacant expression they'll be too intimidated to bother you.

thank you for this gem of a quote

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I work in the produce section of a warehouse store, so I usually walk around and organize the produce or pretend to look at dates. However, this is not always effective, as customers will still interrupt my most intense tomato examinations to ask me where things are (usually within sight of where they are, of course).

Working in produce does give me the bonus of a back refrigerator room, so if I am the only one working in the department I will usually retreat into there and read for an hour at a time (I can stand the cold if it means avoiding the horrors of customers). It also has only one door so I can pretend to be organizing the back room if I see another employee coming.

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4 minutes ago, Proper noun said:

She was a bitch, She told us every day that we would fail, and that we couldn't even finish junior high

Jesus. Aren't teachers evaluated by how their students perform or something? Probably wouldn't serve her to well to brew insecurities like that in their minds. What the hell happened to teachers like that that makes them act that way?

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Just now, pothocket said:

Jesus. Aren't teachers evaluated by how their students perform or something? Probably wouldn't serve her to well to brew insecurities like that in their minds. What the hell happened to teachers like that that makes them act that way?

Sorry for clogging this, but the main thing is she had a baby on the second day of school and our kids were bad

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5 minutes ago, Proper noun said:

Sorry for clogging this, but the main thing is she had a baby on the second day of school and our kids were bad

Oh, well that explains it. 

Right. Back to the thread. 

I never really consciously feel the need to pretend to be busy, but I do tend to stare at my work while thinking/daydreaming about something else. That's really more me getting distracted than trying to look busy though.

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Walk around moving items on a shelf to proper positionin

Take out the garbage

Wander back and forth back and forth move a paper on this end move a pen on that end aimlessly trying to find something to do so i dont feel like Im wasting company time

Doodling on paper...

...which Ive been scolded about a few times since I should be working

Crouching behind the desk pretending to organize something behind the counter when really I have my phone there texting away

Locking myself in the bathroom for a few minutes to check a few things on my phone, or blind spots away from cameras

Scraping residue off tags

Spraying everything and wiping things down and dusting them even though they dont need be

 

...sometimes theres just always a day thats just DEEEEAD.

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No one at work knows how long it takes to do the things I do, and no one knows how I do them. All I have to do is open a program and twitch the mouse a bit.

Granted, I rarely waste time at work, but now and then I need to just fucking take a break.

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Given I work in a deli, I can't 'look' busy, I have to actually be doing something, even if its just slicing meat for the sub bar. At school though? Poetry. Writing poetry all the time instead of work, because I'd get the work done early. Sometimes the teachers would let me read books other than the textbooks if they knew about me and such. In a public place my preferred method of 'leave me alone I don't want to interact with you' is writing poetry while listening to music, or dicking around on my computer like I'm writing.

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mostly by doing things i'm technically supposed to do anyway, but that may not be necessary at the time, or just paying extra attention to the details.  no time for this at current job, but at previous job, it was things like breaking down cardboard boxes before throwing them in the baler (good to do, but not necessary, and takes up a fair amount of time), finding a stubborn spot to clean (yep, still scrubbing), filling out claim tickets (and hunting down every little broken piece of something-or-other to claim out rather than throwing anything away), or just re-checking something i've already done (gotta make sure i didn't miss a spot).  and of course, helping/talking to customers or coworkers (if coworkers, talk about job stuff--act all curious about something and let them explain or demonstrate). 

barring having any physical thing to actually do, it's all about dat expression.  put on your serious face and walk back and forth across the store like you're on a mission.  gaze ahead as though you're looking directly at a particular thing, rather than just heading aimlessly down the aisle.  i tend to do this whenever i'm headed to the time clock so that nobody asks me to do something else before i can get out of there (but not by looking at the clock itself, or else they'll be on to me).  also when going to the bathroom while not on break (which is another great way to whittle away the lulls in your workday--bonus points if you rush out of there afterward, looking like you have somewhere to be and were therefore obviously not wasting time). 

i used to joke i was going to write a book "101 ways to kill time while looking busy", but i'm sure it's already been done. 

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Well I prefer to avoid acting as if I were doing anything. If possible, if I don't wanna do something I simply don't do it

 

With this in mind, on two occasions I was so fucking sick of being at school that I literally evaded it.

The first time it was because there was a volleyball tournament. All teams were full so my choice was to just stand there waiting for it to end like a bloody idiot. But I refused and made my own choice: since everyone was so busy either playing or watching the fucking thing I got out of a secondary gate unnoticed. The second time I was in a very bad mood for some reason. I had such a burning desire to get out that I didn't wait the 30 or so minutes it would have taken for the final bell to ring. I packed my books and waited for the janitor to look away. When she did I ran the fuck out of the gate like a madman. The best part is that I got away with it both times ;)

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I've never quite figured out how to pull this off. Sometimes, I look busy when I'm not. Other times, I'm not busy when I look like I am. Is work getting done? If so, point that out. Give facts, figures, and other pertinent details. Managers worth their salt care more about whether you're actually doing your job, making your users/customers/clients happy etc. It doesn't hurt to have a results-oriented boss, of course. They're less likely to care whether you "look busy."

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On 8/3/2016 at 6:55 PM, JegoLego said:

Share some stories with us about how you get (or got) away with doing barely anything at work/school! Or even better, have you ever gotten caught doing it?

I work at the deli section of a grocery store, and when I try to look busy I usually sweep when there's nothing to sweep up, or start a conversation with a customer.  I also pretend to organize our displays, when i'm really just shifting them 2 inches to the right.

I've honed this to a science, having worked in libraries for both a federal agency, and now, a state university. But there's many ways, especially in an office like setting. One thing is to always have a few stacks of important looking papers/folders out on your desk, and at least one poised as if it needs immediate attention. Put up a bunch of post it notes, reminding you of things, or with phone numbers, even if you don't need to. A few times a day, walk very quickly, saying hi to any colleagues you pass only very briefly, as if you're headed to a very important meeting, even if it might just be to take a dump or have a cigarette. Try to start a few special projects, if possible, even if this just mainly means meeting a co-worker for an extended, leisurely lunch, in which you later give a 30-60 minute presentation/training, that it took you 8 one hour plus paid lunches to come up with. Always have some serious programs running; if you have two monitors, one should always have something office/work related on it. Get your work finished; do what's expected, and then, use these fun tactics to use your time as you like...because at these kinds of jobs, you're not really going anyplace, or getting raises, so word to the wise: Don't work too hard! :)

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