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Rant: I'm ugly and nobody wants to date me :(


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Not sure how to start this off, but the title pretty much gives it away.

So I'm a homofag and 23. I think my visual peak was around 17-21 when I got the most interest, but I was never "hot". Maybe "cute", depending on the person you asked. But a lot of stress and disease in my life has caused me to age horribly. Now, nobody wants me. I'm a healthy weight, no acne, teeth are okay. It's that I have an ugly face. Nothing can naturally fix that except plastic surgery. But odds are, I'll never make enough money to get the procedures I need to look decent. =\

Any guy I send messages to or hit on rejects me. I didn't think I was that bad, but apparently, I am. No, I'm not gonna post pics on this board (you can PM me if you really wanna know). I've tried the suggestions I was given- getting certain haircuts, shaving, not shaving, smiling, nothing works to make me look better. I really don't want to be single anymore. I have nothing good going on in my life and I'm extremely lonely. I know I'm a loving guy and would make an awesome boyfriend.

Anybody else have this problem?

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Not really OP. You sound like you have zero confidence and honestly that's a bigger turnoff than an ugly face. So is making your first post on a furfag forum about how no one wants to sex you. Get your life together faggot.

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image.jpg?w=544&c=1

Go away ever sleep you have some serious issues if your constantly seeking attention from a bunch of weirdos on a furry forum to the point of multiple accounts and following them when they change sites. 

Edited by Joel
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I'm pretty sure you can pay someone to date you, so don't consider yourself rock bottom yet. The usual advice when someone says "I'm ugly and don't want to date me" is pretty fair: What do you offer the table? Do you expect a 10 when you're a 2 with much alcohol? If so, that's an issue with your mindset. You don't 'deserve' anyone. You need to be worth it to the 10.

However, if you're just a shy/reserved dude, its a little more complicated than that. You still need to figure out what you offer to the table. You're 23, so this is the period where folks either explore or settle down. Right now, you should probably explore so you know what you want and don't want out of a relationship. So if you're gonna go in 'explore' mode, find things you dislike about yourself and fix em. If you hate your weight, you should take the steps to get healthier. If you're self described as "boring", pick up an unconventional hobby. Go to a local YMCA and see what fun classes they offer. 

Figure out what kind of person you want,too. Not "Is of average looks and has a dick and a pulse", because that leaves a wide margin of error. If you prefer the athletic type, maybe pick up an athletic interest. If you like the bookish type, hang out where the bookish do. 

The prime mistake everyone makes when they're alone and sad is that they expect their same routine to work and expect different results. no one will come to you if you don't a) come to them and b) make yourself worth coming to. Also, being self depreciating, to anyone, is a huge turnoff. Your mindset sounds like it suffers too, and if its to the point to where it takes over your life, therapy is a good option.

But we all know the realistic outcome where OP or really anyone takes this advice, so hey. One constructive post before it goes to crap, amirite?

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1 hour ago, Lemon said:

I'm pretty sure you can pay someone to date you, so don't consider yourself rock bottom yet. The usual advice when someone says "I'm ugly and don't want to date me" is pretty fair: What do you offer the table? Do you expect a 10 when you're a 2 with much alcohol? If so, that's an issue with your mindset. You don't 'deserve' anyone. You need to be worth it to the 10.

However, if you're just a shy/reserved dude, its a little more complicated than that. You still need to figure out what you offer to the table. You're 23, so this is the period where folks either explore or settle down. Right now, you should probably explore so you know what you want and don't want out of a relationship. So if you're gonna go in 'explore' mode, find things you dislike about yourself and fix em. If you hate your weight, you should take the steps to get healthier. If you're self described as "boring", pick up an unconventional hobby. Go to a local YMCA and see what fun classes they offer. 

Figure out what kind of person you want,too. Not "Is of average looks and has a dick and a pulse", because that leaves a wide margin of error. If you prefer the athletic type, maybe pick up an athletic interest. If you like the bookish type, hang out where the bookish do. 

The prime mistake everyone makes when they're alone and sad is that they expect their same routine to work and expect different results. no one will come to you if you don't a) come to them and b) make yourself worth coming to. Also, being self depreciating, to anyone, is a huge turnoff. Your mindset sounds like it suffers too, and if its to the point to where it takes over your life, therapy is a good option.

But we all know the realistic outcome where OP or really anyone takes this advice, so hey. One constructive post before it goes to crap, amirite?

I don't have the money to pay someone to date. Trust me, if I won the lottery, I would become a sugar daddy if the plastic surgery wasn't an option.

Also, I'm not that picky. My rating depends on who rates me. I've gotten anywhere from 0 to 10 honestly. I'd say I expect what I percieve to be a 6, but to someone else, my 6 may be a 0. I'm not picky with body type as long as it's not starvingly anorexic (and I can fix this by buying them cheap, fattening food) or unhealthily morbid obese (I can't fix this so easily, unless they let me experiment with a kitchen knife and a vacuum... kitchen lipo). Height I also don't care that much but above 5 feet I guess? Teeth should be there, they don't gotta be perfect. Tbh I'm most picky with facial features. I have BDD and I also feel like a lot of men I see... their facial features don't allign properly. I don't know how else to explain it. They aren't crooked, but, they just don't look attractive to me.

I send tons of messages on Grindr (in the past I used others, I'm not using them again yet). None of them get replies. =\ I know that's not really for "dating", but, at this point, any attention I get is good. I don't say self-depreciating stuff to them or anyone really (except anonymously online). So they're just going by my pic and stats. Maybe 5'6" is too short for them. Maybe my face is just ugly. Idk.

I think I offer a lot, honestly. I am a very loving guy. I'm told that I'm funny. I'm not bitchy. I don't care about social status or money. I'm down for a night of gaming. I can go out too. I like meeting new people. I've never physically hurt anyone (which may suck for a masochist, but for others, I'm good). Tbh, you've already helped me. I never tried to figure this part out. So thank you for that.

Also thank you for the only reply. I don't know what the others were talking about. Inside jokes?

*And if anyone wonders, I don't just date furries. Slim pickings when it comes to that. I date any guy who is into guys (or into me, specifically).

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6 minutes ago, មិនស្អាត said:

Not when I'm trying to date. :( And I don't even know if I am or not. I just suspect it.

Well, there's your first insecurity to overcome.

But even if it turns out you are ugly and it's not just all in your head, it's not the end of the earth, you just need to be attractive with other things, not your looks. A relationship isn't built on looks after all. Well, a good one at least.

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Mingle, meet people, make friends. Get to know someone before even bringing up the concept of dating.

I never saw the appeal of just going out and trying to snag a partner out of thin air. There is no such thing as love at first sight, it's really just sex. Lust at first sight.

Maybe if someone gets to know you and you are as sweet and charming as you claim, you'll get some butt. And that butt will mean something. It won't be some deflated public butt that everyone has played with, it'll be your butt, presented to you by someone who cares about you enough to want to see white stuff shoot from your peepee.

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3 hours ago, Lucyfish said:

Mingle, meet people, make friends. Get to know someone before even bringing up the concept of dating.

I never saw the appeal of just going out and trying to snag a partner out of thin air. There is no such thing as love at first sight, it's really just sex. Lust at first sight.

Maybe if someone gets to know you and you are as sweet and charming as you claim, you'll get some butt. And that butt will mean something. It won't be some deflated public butt that everyone has played with, it'll be your butt, presented to you by someone who cares about you enough to want to see white stuff shoot from your peepee.

its like pottery

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I've seen people who look like they've been struck by a train, and others who have eaten a train, have girlfriends/boyfriends. It's all in the self confidence really. Nobody will start loving or take genuine interest if all you have going for you is sympathy or pity. 

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I know exactly how you feel, OP. A couple of years ago I was in a very abusive relationship that left quite its mark on me and still does. I've long since given up on the prospect of relationships for a number of different reasons and am mostly fine with this but I do have a bit of advice that other people may have shared as well:

There are tons of "ugly" people in relationships, more than anything you just have to believe in yourself to a degree and be proud of who you are. Its very, very difficult for some people, myself included, and you don't have to act super confident and extroverted but if you want to love someone else you've got to love yourself I guess.

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18 minutes ago, Zeke said:

Self deprecating things will make a beautiful rose into a pile of compost. If you do not have confidence either, well good luck. Debbie downers aren't attractive.

B-but people laugh when I mix a bit of self-deprecation into casual conversation! It's because they know how awesome I really am, r-right?!

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1 hour ago, #00Buck said:

Being ugly is nothing.

There are at least three people on this forum who have a penis less than three inches long. 

That's a real problem. 

Are you suggesting we should gate this community by penis size?

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Even ugly people get laid,
so you might wanna start looking at issues in your personality, instead, OP.

Also:

Quote

I can fix this by buying them cheap, fattening food

Thinking of ways to "fix" potential partners is all sorts of absolutely fucking creepy bullshit.

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2 minutes ago, មិនស្អាត said:

Can someone look at my pics and tell me if I'm ugly or not? They're fully clothed and SFW but I'll only send them in a PM.

Listen Sport, It's not because you're ugly that they don't like you:

It's because you're not packing 14+ inches

Just don't forget to have a radius of 2 inches from bird's eye view. 

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13 hours ago, មិនស្អាត said:

Can someone look at my pics and tell me if I'm ugly or not? They're fully clothed and SFW but I'll only send them in a PM.

if we tell you you're ugly, you'll get depressed or angry.

if we tell you you're not ugly, you'll think we're molly coddling you and won't believe it.

the truth doesn't really matter, don't worry about this

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I can understand your feelings OP, been there, done that. But I'll tell you two things that you should always keep in mind:

Number one, the harder you try to get out of celibacy, the most desperate you'll look and sound, consequently making people run away from you. Yes, society is cruel like that.

Number two, hobbies will definitely get you somewhere! I'm not a prime example for this though, because I do a wonderful at being different, which will make sharing my hobbies a real challenge. But if you're a normal person in the slightest it won't be a problem.

And if you have a normal masculine build, you're already on a much better start than me  xD

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I'd say, give it time, and continue to work on yourself.

Your first objective should be to live your life and strive to become all you can be. As you develop confidence and life skills, you'll develop an "aura" that will tend to attract the right kinds of people.

Also, as you mature and get older, you'll come to value the qualities that really matter in a mate, and other people will ideally come to see and value your best qualities as they grow up and mature, too.

But, I'm all-too-familiar familiar with that feeling that you're going to be alone forever because you're too grotesque and strange to even be out in daylight, and everyone else you know seems to be frolicking on the beach with some hot piece of ass or another. Interestingly, my love life actually began to improve after I stopped giving a shit.

 

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