Socketosis Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 Shots fired! Quote If you own a dog, you’re less likely to cheat on a partner than if you own a cat. So claims Illicit Encounters, the dating site for married people and self-styled “leading authority on infidelity”, which recently surveyed 700 its own members to find out what pets they own. They found that just 10 per cent of those surveyed were dog owners, while 25 per cent owned cats. “There has already been a plethora of scientific studies that claim that owning a dog, or dogs, makes you happier and healthier, and now you can add loyalty to that list,” said spokesman Christian Grant. “It’s an interesting, if not unexpected result. Man’s best friend is the UK’s most popular pet, and has been for a very long time, but not among this particular community it seems. “A dog’s qualities are usually reflected in their owner, and loyalty, unconditional love, friendship and a sense of protectiveness are qualities that everyone associates with canines, regardless of their size, breed or gender. “By the same token, a cat’s loyalty is a little more unclear. Often lazy, they’ve been known to drift to whomever is offering them more food, so it’s of little surprise to see that lack of loyalty reflected in our study.” 16 per cent of respondents owned fish, 13 per cent hamsters or gerbils, 11 per cent rabbits and 11 per cent reptiles. Earlier this year a study by researchers at Manhattanville College, New York, found that dog owners are happier, more conscientious and less neurotic than cat owners. The study, Is Happiness a Warm Puppy? Examining the Relationship between Pets and Well-Being, investigated the relationship between pet ownership and subjective well-being, "Dog owners were happier than cat owners,” the report said, “which can be partially explained by personality, emotion regulation style, and need satisfaction." A separate study found that cat owners earn less, and have fewer friends, than those who have dogs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PastryOfApathy Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 What about rabbit-owners? Are they also massive sluts (or like ten-year-old girls)? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrDingo Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 Because dogs are a shared commitment that you play with and take on walks. Therefore the dog means they're more likely to stay together, bond and care for it Cats just live in your house and eat your food 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khaki Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 >Canine Master Race. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eggdodger Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 Even if the cat owner is never caught, they'll still get divorced when they stop having buttered potatoes together. (in other news, correlation =/= causation) EDIT: I read this graph wrong. Divorce is going down as people stop eating margarine. That actually would make more sense. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Socketosis Posted September 14, 2016 Author Share Posted September 14, 2016 1 hour ago, Eggdodger said: (in other news, correlation =\= causation) Plus a sample size of 700 is not very conclusive. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vae Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 Wow, it's almost like a personality type that doesn't lean towards strong commitment isn't going to want an animal that's high-commitment. What a scientific breakthrough. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feelwell Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 4 minutes ago, Vae said: Wow, it's almost like a personality type that doesn't lean towards strong commitment isn't going to want an animal that's high-commitment. What a scientific breakthrough. Well it is the internet, and internet is practically synonymous with "Never learning anything." So its constantly discovering new things! And then forgetting them. Like when I buy five packs of gum and then find the fifth pack two weeks later somewhere, even though I thought I ate them all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eggdodger Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 Just now, Feelwell the Rabbit said: Well it is the internet, and internet is practically synonymous with "Never learning anything." Really? I learn a lot on these forums alone! Now, they might not necessarily be things I want to know, but that's another matter altogether. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrishaCat Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 JOKES ON YOU I'M SINGLE 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saxon Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 I suspect that Illicit Encounters wanted their name to appear in news papers, so they trumped up a pretend study for a news article. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gator Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 i've read that cat people are also more intelligent overall than dog people. coincidence? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarthTheWereWolf Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 11 minutes ago, Gator said: i've read that cat people are also more intelligent overall than dog people. coincidence? Smarter people also tend to be less happy. Coincidence? I think not! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gator Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 22 minutes ago, GarthTheWereWolf said: Smarter people also tend to be less happy. Coincidence? I think not! sad truth literally Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Revates Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 What if I am a dog? What does this mean for my dog relationship? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 2 minutes ago, Revates said: What if I am a dog? What does this mean for my dog relationship? Just watch out for cats~ (and foxes) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aouzy Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 >it's a cats vs dogs thread 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidewalk Surfboard Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 Rat owners don't worry about this because nobody wants to date them anyways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recel Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 32 minutes ago, Sidewalk Surfboard said: Rat owners don't worry about this because nobody wants to date them anyways. Hey! Rats can be cute! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodshot_Eyes Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 A cat actually knows what its needs are, and hasn't sold its sovereignty to another species over thousands of generations. If it has a need, it's going to get it met whether it by its owner or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DevilBear Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 I'm a dog owner, and I've almost never cheated on an SO. Cat owners really are the worst. :v Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kleric Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 I'm a very happy, and committed cat owner. fuk da polees. :v 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GemWolf Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 This is the biggest load of shit I've ever heard in my life. Trust me, I've heard a ton! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khaki Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 But what if they own cats AND dogs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CETME Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 2 minutes ago, Khaki said: But what if they own cats AND dogs? They cancel each other out(?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khaki Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 1 minute ago, BlitzCo said: They cancel each other out(?) That or you become an emotionally dependant slut. I wonder if there are categories for other animals, like ferrets? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Doggo Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 i wonder what they say about monitor lizard owners Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snagged Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 2 hours ago, Sir Gibby said: i wonder what they say about monitor lizard owners People say pet owners are like their pets and if you take a lizard as an example, the owner of the lizard is a passive sloth, living in a highly confined and small squared room, sleeps most of its days, likes to be in a warm place such as under blanket and only gets up to eat drink and shit Anyone got a correlation graph for this obviously scientific fact? :V 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Doggo Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 1 minute ago, Snagged Cub said: People say pet owners are like their pets and if you take a lizard as an example, the owner of the lizard is a passive sloth, living in a highly confined and small squared room, sleeps most of its days, likes to be in a warm place such as under blanket and only gets up to eat drink and shit Anyone got a correlation graph for this obviously scientific fact? :V no, no, that's quite accurate 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pignog Posted September 19, 2016 Share Posted September 19, 2016 what if i believe i literally am a cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KittenAdmin Posted September 19, 2016 Share Posted September 19, 2016 2 minutes ago, Pignog said: what if i believe i literally am a cat *dangles a mouse* 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mapa Posted September 19, 2016 Share Posted September 19, 2016 Are SO owners more likely to cheat on their dogs than their cats? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glowing Glass Posted September 19, 2016 Share Posted September 19, 2016 46 minutes ago, Pignog said: what if i believe i literally am a cat That makes you otherkin *backs away slowly* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Socketosis Posted September 19, 2016 Author Share Posted September 19, 2016 3 hours ago, Pignog said: what if i believe i literally am a cat 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evan Posted September 19, 2016 Share Posted September 19, 2016 On 9/15/2016 at 9:21 AM, Revates said: What if I am a dog? What does this mean for my dog relationship? i think we'll be oka- On 9/15/2016 at 9:25 AM, Enigma said: (and foxes) ...we need to talk 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pignog Posted September 19, 2016 Share Posted September 19, 2016 5 hours ago, Socketosis said: this is me and my roommate irl 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissFleece Posted September 19, 2016 Share Posted September 19, 2016 If someone owns a cat and a dog, does that mean they're leveled out? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Revates Posted September 19, 2016 Share Posted September 19, 2016 43 minutes ago, evan said: i think we'll be oka- ...we need to talk B-but you're part of a fox! THE SPECTACLE 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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