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Poll: Furries, Introversion & Social Anxiety

Fossa

By Fossa,
in The Watercooler

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Furries, Introversion & Social Anxiety  

57 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you tend to be more introverted, or more extroverted?

    • Introverted
      45
    • Extroverted
      12

  2. 2. To what degree do you consider yourself socially anxious?

    • To a high degree
      13
    • To a moderate degree
      20
    • To a mild degree
      13
    • Barely/Not at all
      11

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Fossa Newbie

Fossa

Posted
Posted

I'm curious about how many furs would say they're socially anxious, and also, about the tendency towards introversion and extroversion. (Not that anyone is always simply one or the other, but on average)

From an anecdotal view of things, from being on various forums for the past decade and also from meets and cons, it does seem that furs tend towards the socially anxious, and also, towards introversion. This seems much more the case online, where I've talked to numerous furs who find it difficult to leave the house, or even be in social situations.

Well, curious as to the observations others have made, so thought I'd post this.

Myself: More extroverted than not, and only mildly social anxious. Speaking in front of a group, fine, job interviews= nervous wreck.

 

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Zeke Newbie

Zeke

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Introverted: I prefer being alone than hanging out with people, but I also do not mind social interactions with close friends. large groups of people stress me out from time to time. Being social's part of my job as a librarian, so I can shape shift into a mild extrovert when needed be. 

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Vae Newbie

Vae

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Posted

I'm intro and extro, depending on situation and emotional capacity at the time.

I tend to be more socially anxious around huge groups of people,
and less so around more manageable ones.

Basically, I don't like to be overwhelmed, but I do like being sociable.

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#00Buck Newbie

#00Buck

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Introverted. Super anxious. 

I have to be convinced to go out and do things. I resist it and try not to go. Then I end up having a great time and wondering why I don't go out more often.

Then I get afraid of rejection. I also get afraid that things will go too well and get super intense. I guess I can't win. 

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FenrirDarkWolf Newbie

FenrirDarkWolf

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Like Vae, it all depends on how I feel, who I'm with, where I am, etc.

With just friends, it's great, we could go on all day and just derp about all night and I'll be perfectly fine.

In public, I tend to be quieter and more anxious, especially in new places because I don't have anyone to cling to.

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Falaffel Newbie

Falaffel

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2 hours ago, Vae said:

I'm intro and extro, depending on situation and emotional capacity at the time.

I tend to be more socially anxious around huge groups of people,
and less so around more manageable ones.

Basically, I don't like to be overwhelmed, but I do like being sociable.

Basically that. 

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Fossa Newbie

Fossa

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12 hours ago, #00Buck said:

Introverted. Super anxious. 

I have to be convinced to go out and do things. I resist it and try not to go. Then I end up having a great time and wondering why I don't go out more often.

Then I get afraid of rejection. I also get afraid that things will go too well and get super intense. I guess I can't win. 

Huh, curious. I would have pegged you as an extrovert, without much social anxiety, given your overall loquaciousness on the forums. Odd how perceptions on a person online and IRL can vary so much.

9 hours ago, LazerMaster5 said:

I think I'm a little too open. Everyone knows I am a furry faggot.

Is that why nobody ever wants to hang out with me?

Nah, it could just as likely be where you live, and the social opportunities you have at hand. You seem like one of the more friendly sorts about the place, here.

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Terminal7 Newbie

Terminal7

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I could be either introvert or extrovert depending on my emotions at the time (and this becomes more extreme in certain times of year). It can feel like a nasty rollercoaster that you never wanted to ride to begin with. 

It's just about the same with social anxiety. For example, I'm more likely to panic at a party in January, than let's say... August. The combination of not knowing how others feel of you & loud noises is a terrible feeling(for me anyway).

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Mapa Newbie

Mapa

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9 minutes ago, Mikazuki Marazhu said:

I dunno why, maybe it's culture but I find introverted people very unfortunate

Sorry if I'm misinterpreting your post, but introverted people aren't necessarily worse off socially than less introverted people. I know people who are both more introverted and more socially capable than I am.

I'm kind of similar to buck - it takes usually every fiber of my being to not bail on social events, but once I'm there, I wonder what the hell I was so worried about.

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#00Buck Newbie

#00Buck

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5 minutes ago, pothocket said:

Sorry if I'm misinterpreting your post, but introverted people aren't necessarily worse off socially than less introverted people. I know people who are both more introverted and more socially capable than I am.

I'm kind of similar to buck - it takes usually every fiber of my being to not bail on social events, but once I'm there, I wonder what the hell I was so worried about.

Yeah, but I also worry that things will go overboard and degenerate into lewd sexual behaviour that's far too extreme for a normal party. 

Except maybe a tea party.

 

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Mikazuki Marazhu Newbie

Mikazuki Marazhu

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7 minutes ago, pothocket said:

Sorry if I'm misinterpreting your post, but introverted people aren't necessarily worse off socially than less introverted people. I know people who are both more introverted and more socially capable than I am.

I'm kind of similar to buck - it takes usually every fiber of my being to not bail on social events, but once I'm there, I wonder what the hell I was so worried about.

Like I said it's culture, like in Hawaii if you don't know how to get along with people/come of as an introvert you'll be frowned on. 

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SkyboundTerror Newbie

SkyboundTerror

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I'm introverted with moderate social anxiety, maybe even just mild; used to be so high that I was unable to talk to anyone without sweating bullets and blushing. Certain (stupid) situations still bring back the ghosts, sadly, but I've improved greatly. I can say I love social interactions, and although I don't like to admit it, I also love attention from faceless masses. I am a loud person who "hates" attention yet loves being acknowledged; go figure.

My family often compares me to Bashful from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. I laugh and smile to cope with stress, and I'm often the subject of jokes since I'm easy to embarrass in a public situation. Incredibly easy. And if I'm the center of attention in that moment, I'd prefer death. I'll laugh at it then but kick myself afterwards.

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Gator Newbie

Gator

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i require human interaction; the more time i spend alone, the more drained and miserable i feel--provided the people i'm interacting with don't suck, in which case it would be the opposite, but that's another matter.  i think doing otherwise fun things alone is boring, and i can't stand being cooped up in the house all day.

however, there are things about myself that i don't want people to notice, and things i've been through that have stuck with me, that have pretty much destroyed my ability to comfortably interact with strangers and sometimes even my own friends.

 

so in the end, i don't know or care if i'm an introvert or an extrovert, but i am stuck being pretty damn lonely and frustrated most of the time.

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LadyRadarEars Newbie

LadyRadarEars

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Very introverted but a good actor who can use caffeine and a fake persona in order to work with people in the service industry. Its why I'm so tired all the time though. Not sure about the social anxiety, can't afford a shrink or whatever to find out, but some of my RL friends have said they think I might have a little bit of it, on account of that one time I had a completely irrational (to them) panic attack once when walking in a city for the first time.

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Xaende Newbie

Xaende

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Internet forums and nerdy hobbies tend to attract introverts. This isn't unique to furry. However, there does seem to be fairly large percentage of furries who are party animals. They're more likely to be out socializing than hanging around places like this.

I'm a total introvert, but I've also been known to approach folks that even extroverts find intimidating. I'm just more in my element, more myself, when I'm alone or with close friends and family.

Funniest_Memes_being-an-introvert_17948.

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Fossa Newbie

Fossa

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11 minutes ago, Xaende said:

Internet forums and nerdy hobbies tend to attract introverts. This isn't unique to furry. However, there does seem to be fairly large percentage of furries who are party animals. They're just more likely to be out socializing than hanging around places like this.

I'm a total introvert, but I've also been known to approach folks that even extroverts find intimidating. I'm just more in my element, more myself, when I'm alone or with close friends and family.

Funniest_Memes_being-an-introvert_17948.

What's odd is that I'm very much an extrovert, though I love to read, and create. But then I love to talk about what I've read, and created, and about what others have read and created, because this creates an even higher sense of connection and meaning to me, in some way.

I think sometimes there's this notion that extroverts aren't introspective, analytical, dreamers...but me, I read a ton, stare out the train window a lot on my way to work, and think of arbitrary things, and how the world is rather absurd, because it might be so many other ways than it is, and yet, here it is...I get lost in thogh, with no need to talk, text, or anything. But then, I seek actaul, physical friends.

 

I work at a libaray, and it's OK, but gets boring...not enough contact with people, for me. But it beats flipping burgers :)

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Jtrekkie Newbie

Jtrekkie

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One more introvert.

 

I was never told I had social anxiety, but I suppose I did have a lot of anxiety interacting with people. There was a time when I was hardly able to communicate with people. Then a friend gave me a book and decided to push me a bit a long with my piano teacher. (Skill With People, by Les Giblin, it's pretty good.) Then I decided I would push myself a little bit, and now after a few years I have graduated from socially crippled to merely socially inept but confident.

Not that it's so easy for others.

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Fossa Newbie

Fossa

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14 minutes ago, Hux said:

This is why Phoenix doesn't have meetups. You guys are boring.

Given how variously anxious, depressed, introverted, ADHD ridden, and variously self-conscious furries tend to be, it's a miracle they meet at all. When I first went to a con, part of the reason was just to see if they were real, or just staged productions, posted to You Tube. :v

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Hux Newbie

Hux

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11 minutes ago, Fossa-Boy said:

Given how variously anxious, depressed, introverted, ADHD ridden, and variously self-conscious furries tend to be, it's a miracle they meet at all. When I first went to a con, part of the reason was just to see if they were real, or just staged productions, posted to You Tube. :v

To be honest, I'd be embarrassed to be caught at a furry convention. I'm surprised it's not just fursuiters.

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evan Newbie

evan

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45 minutes ago, Hux said:

To be honest, I'd be embarrassed to be caught at a furry convention. I'm surprised it's not just fursuiters.

i went to my first full con in may, and on the first day/night i was crazy anxious. i think a big part of it is the alcohol... and i'm somewhat only half kidding. a lot of people are on enough substances to make an extroverted attitude the only one that makes sense. 

everyone's a bit reserved the first day though. then it starts picking up, haha

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Toshabi Newbie

Toshabi

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14 minutes ago, evan said:

i went to my first full con in may, and on the first day/night i was crazy anxious. i think a big part of it is the alcohol... and i'm somewhat only half kidding. a lot of people are on enough substances to make an extroverted attitude the only one that makes sense. 

everyone's a bit reserved the first day though. then it starts picking up, haha

Yeah, kinda true depending on the crowd, but honestly? A lot of it was meeting up woth the cool peeps we already knew and checking out the scenary. There's a LOT to do at the Grand Sierra Resort (For BLFC) from gambling, to go karts, to booze, to suiting, to shopping to movies ect. I think of them as an excuse to go full furfag and vacation really. The furry convention just makes it a good medium really. The venue determines how much booze is needed.

 

 

And I wanna say the internet is a pretty shitty misinterpretation for how the cons are like. I wanna say those that choose to go irl tend to be very reserve in how they openly present themselves. At least the bunch I hung out with. Extroverts unite! Let us wage war against the introverted, awkward filth that is killing off our fandom!

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Hux Newbie

Hux

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Posted
11 minutes ago, evan said:

i went to my first full con in may, and on the first day/night i was crazy anxious. i think a big part of it is the alcohol... and i'm somewhat only half kidding. a lot of people are on enough substances to make an extroverted attitude the only one that makes sense. 

everyone's a bit reserved the first day though. then it starts picking up, haha

What actually goes on at furry conventions? Are people just getting drunk or high before yiffing one another to death?

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evan Newbie

evan

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32 minutes ago, Toshabi said:

Yeah, kinda true depending on the crowd, but honestly? A lot of it was meeting up woth the cool peeps we already knew and checking out the scenary. There's a LOT to do at the Grand Sierra Resort (For BLFC) from gambling, to go karts, to booze, to suiting, to shopping to movies ect. I think of them as an excuse to go full furfag and vacation really. The furry convention just makes it a good medium really. The venue determines how much booze is needed.

And I wanna say the internet is a pretty shitty misinterpretation for how the cons are like. I wanna say those that choose to go irl tend to be very reserve in how they openly present themselves. At least the bunch I hung out with. Extroverts unite! Let us wage war against the introverted, awkward filth that is killing off our fandom!

I bolded that part because while I understated it, that really was what made the con so exciting, a lot of friends. Hell I even ran into a furriend who I met SIX years ago, who lives in Canada and had no idea I was gonna be there!

 Duuuuuude, i was gonna plan on going to that one (BLFC) because my friend at Furlandia raved about it, but i checked the dates and it's right in the middle of a seminar i'm applying for so i have to miss it, which bummed me out because it sounds amazing. Furlandia is a smaller con so drinking is a bit more necessary because once you cover the con floor that's about it. I'm sure at a con like BLFC you could make it a whole vacation without a drink in you.

Also agreed on the con misrepresentations. It's nothing like how it seems and is if anything a pretty cool place to be. Most people are actually very good at focusing on being social, before all the cringe comes out at a different time. You still get your assholes, but it's so much better than it seems. I was able to socialize pretty normally!

30 minutes ago, Hux said:

What actually goes on at furry conventions? Are people just getting drunk or high before yiffing one another to death?

It's basically like anything else; social groups appear and they all mingle and have their own plans for how to spend their time. My entire room was boozed, but to varying degrees and we weren't really doing anything other than playing games or hanging out. It really depends on what crowd you're around, as there are the very nice furs who seem almost too innocent to know that fetishes exist, and then there are the people who could bring a party to a church. We saw a bit of both, and there's certainly both people having an innocent good furry time playing games, as well as people making midnight runs to local fast food joints before getting high and fucking the night away.

It's a very...cosmopolitan experience. 

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Troj Newbie

Troj

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I'm an outgoing introvert. I love giving lectures and presentations, have no fear about meeting new people, and like to talk to people and learn about them. But, at the end of the day, I need to return to my cave to watch TV, read, browse the Internet, do chores, and just generally recharge in solitude. I prefer the company of one or two good friends to attending a large party or gathering.

Once, I became so overwhelmed, over-tired, and overstimulated while at FC that I practically *ran* from the convention hall to go take a walk in the park for an hour, because it felt like my skin was covered in ants.

I become socially anxious, shy, and self-conscious when I'm in a setting with more formal, rigid, or high-stakes expectations or rules, or when I'm in a very loud, busy, confusing setting that makes it hard to hear and be heard.

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LadyRadarEars Newbie

LadyRadarEars

Posted
Posted (edited)
12 hours ago, Hux said:

This is why Phoenix doesn't have meetups. You guys are boring.

To be honest, I'd be embarrassed to be caught at a furry convention. I'm surprised it's not just fursuiters.

That's because you aren't a fun person :3

I go to scifi/furry cons that are local with my friends and roomies on occasion, I just get very, very tired when I'm at them, and I have to occasionally go outside where there's no people and take a lot of deep breaths to calm down.

It helps that at a con nobody looks at you funny if you read books on shelves in the dealer's den or do nothing but play with gadgets that are on display instead of interacting with anyone :V

Edited by LadyRadarEars
Missed a quote :V
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Fossa Newbie

Fossa

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12 hours ago, Troj said:

I practically *ran* from the convention hall to go take a walk in the park for an hour, because it felt like my skin was covered in ants.

Do you have an aardvaark fursona? I'm just looking at your avi...if so, the ants would seem to be a major, tasty bonus!

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Therapy Sergal Newbie

Therapy Sergal

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Recent advances in the field of virtual reality renewed my hope for a device, that allows to filter out humans from my perception, replacing them with colored rectangles instead, just to display their collision boundaries. Silent colored rectangles, as I want human sounds to be filtered out as well, and replaced with toggleable subtitles/speech bubbles.

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LadyRadarEars Newbie

LadyRadarEars

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8 minutes ago, Therapy Sergal said:

Recent advances in the field of virtual reality renewed my hope for a device, that allows to filter out humans from my perception, replacing them with colored rectangles instead, just to display their collision boundaries. Silent colored rectangles, as I want human sounds to be filtered out as well, and replaced with toggleable subtitles/speech bubbles.

That's kinda woah mang.

 

 

Also I bet it'd make a really cool game where you get points based on longest time without hitting anything, like reverse pinball.

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