How to be a good parent?

[Guest]

What are the things a good parent should be and do / not be and not do? I have no idea what sparked this question to be honest, but I guess it should be interesting to give this some actual thought

Serious and troll posts welcome folks

[Aouzy]

Be at least a little bit strict on your kid and discipline them too. I tend to see so many care free parents with total brats who don't have any fear of consequences for their actions and the parents do nothing.

[Jtrekkie]

For a little older childten, dont be distant. Be engaging and share things. Don't be stifling. Allow him to be his own person. Don't be discouraging. teach gently, but teach much.

[Proper noun]

This is a little off topic but i find it more annoying when the parents just keep on going "NO, mister if you do that ONE more time i'm picking you up and going outside.NO NO STOP THAT " when the kids just doin' what six year old kids do.

[Vitaly]

7 minutes ago, Proper noun said:

This is a little off topic but i find it more annoying when the parents just keep on going "NO, mister if you do that ONE more time i'm picking you up and going outside.NO NO STOP THAT " when the kids just doin' what six year old kids do.

Yet, without proper control kids often grow into douchebags.

[Proper noun]

5 minutes ago, Vitaly said:

Yet, without proper control kids often grow into douchebags.

It's a little different when they're doing it to a six month baby

[Enigma]

My advice? Furries shouldn't procreate.

 

If you must, learn from your upbringing on not what to do. Be open to changing times but don't hesitate to keep some old fashioned discipline. God knows some children need it. Be accepting but stern. Your life should be for your child, more than anything else.

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

Some I can think of on the top of my head:

 

-Strict but reasonable. Be consistent. Dont be strick one moment but lenient another when the time calls for you to be strict. You'll be called out on it if you have no pattern or code to your parenting

-Be involved with their lives but dont helicopter parent. If they trust you enough, they'll let you in their life without you having to pry

-Know their body mentally and physically for health reasons. 

-Teach them the differences between right and wrong. Don't be one of those jackasses that's like "Well whats truly right and what's truly wrong?' There's a general consensus of right and wrong in society: Don't kill, don't steal, don't abuse, etc.

-Be a friend and a parent. Relate with them (not in the "Yo, I'm hip with the kids" way) be there for them in their time of need but also establish that you're still in charge and lay down the rules

-Know when to admit you're wrong

-Educate them on basic human skills and politeness as early as possible. 

-Teach them all you know without relying on teachers to do it

-Be financially responsible

-Set limits on games, internet, tv until their responsible enough to know how to use them in moderation

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE OF THEM ALL:

-DON'T BE A PAGEANT/COMPETIVE SPORTS PARENT

[Guest]

35 minutes ago, Proper noun said:

This is a little off topic but i find it more annoying when the parents just keep on going "NO, mister if you do that ONE more time i'm picking you up and going outside.NO NO STOP THAT " when the kids just doin' what six year old kids do.

 

24 minutes ago, Vitaly said:

Yet, without proper control kids often grow into douchebags.

 

I suppose it can be difficult to strike a balance

[Hux]

Beat the shit out of them when they get uppity. It builds character and prepares them for the real world where everybody is out to fuck them.

 

 

 

:V

[Vallium]

If I were a parent I would not throw my child in front of a tv or computer, let them learn about things that fascinate and excite them and let them grow their own interests as a person, and then subsequently turn around and be confused at their silly personal interests, or ridicule them for their interests. Instead, I'd try to actively engage with them and teach them my own interests while being open to and interested in their newfound interests as well.

 

If I were a parent, Id let the child learn and grow and find their own rights in the world, not tell them what they can and cannot do, whats right and wrong. But I would tell them that hurting others is wrong, and others deserve the same respect, equality, and love you would want to yourself

 

I would not let my child torture animals for their amusement, its not cute nor funny, and they do not know better since they have not developed empathy. Id try to let them understand that an animal might not like what theyre doing, and its important to pay attention and gauge the animal's behavior and response, so they can like you as much as you like them instead of the animal hating and running away from you.

 

Id try to avoid physical forms of discipline wherever possible, never use a belt or anything. Ever.

 

Patience. Patience. Patience. Id try to explain things and not get to frustrated or exhasperated. Theyre young, its not their fault.

Not getting angry when theyre loud and rambunctious and having fun, when the time calls for it at least. Its kids. Its what they do.

 

 

Most importantly...never raising my voice. Never shouting. Never threatening. Never ever absolutely angry or furious. Ever.

 

Maybe its easier said than done...Im no parent but...These are things I never want to repeat. Doubt I will be one, though. Ive no interest in biological children.

[Vallium]

29 minutes ago, DevilishlyHandsome49 said:

 

-Be involved with their lives but dont helicopter parent. If they trust you enough, they'll let you in their life without you having to pry

-Be a friend and a parent. Relate with them (not in the "Yo, I'm hip with the kids" way) be there for them in their time of need but also establish that you're still in charge and lay down the rules

-Know when to admit you're wrong

-Educate them on basic human skills and politeness as early as possible. 

-Be financially responsible

-Set limits on games, internet, tv until their responsible enough to know how to use them in moderation

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE OF THEM ALL:

-DON'T BE A PAGEANT/COMPETIVE SPORTS PARENT

Agreed

-Trust is important. A kid shouldnt have to be scared to tell you personal shiz in their lives if youre going to forbid them of it, get upset, or be unhelpful

-You should be relatable to a child to build a healthy relationship, be able to share things with each other

-HUGE ONE Nobody ever admits that they are wrong, parent figures often seem to be 'always right' but...theyre human, and mistakes can be made

-thats a given

-Another big one, why support a child when you cant give them basic needs and some wants? Be prepared to give someone a good life

-Agreed to an extent, the limits can be in childhood, but also not overly strict. Repeal the limits as they get older. Teens should be allowed free unmonitored computer access by 13 at the least, while taught the risks of internet access from the getgo

-Neve live your life through your child, you filthy filthy human beings

 

[Endless/Nameless]

Give of yourself. Your time and attention. Occasionally some money. 

[Strongbob]

Your time is the most precious thing your have, give as much as you can.

Know when to say no and always be ready to explain why you said no. 

Teach love and generosity by example even if you are not loving and generous by nature.  

[Alexxx-Returns]

Don't yell at them. There's plenty of better ways to teach kids that their actions have consequences without yelling.

Don't get mad at them for doing the stuff that all kids do. If you can't handle kids doing the stuff that they do naturally, don't have kids.

Always remember that kids' brains are literally so totally different to the brains of adults! You might not be able to understand why they are doing something they're doing but that doesn't make it incorrect! And they might not understand some of the things you ask them to do, and just keep in mind why. Again, if you can't handle this, don't bring an innocent life into your hot mess.

[#00Buck]

Deny they are yours until the moment the talk show host says:

"You are the father!" 

[Vallium]

5 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

Deny they are yours until the moment the talk show host says:

"You are the father!" 

Wait whats the definition of "good" again?

[Jtrekkie]

Not to derail, but some people say something is better than nothing.

 

Not necessarily so. 

[PastryOfApathy]

This is a forum full of young adult permavirgins.

You ain't gonna get good parental advice here lmao.

[Another Ampers&]

- Explain shit to your child. So many parents use the "because I said so" excuse. This doesn't teach them to understand jack shit, it only teaches them to rely on authority

- Your child should never fear for their safety under your care. Like really idk why this still needs to be said. You should never hit your child. Never raise your hand as if to hit your child. Never threaten your child with violence. This doesn't teach them to respect you as a parent it just teaches them to fear making you mad

- avoid other kinds of abuse too lmao. Don't insult your child, in passing in their company or directly to them. Don't express contempt for your child in any way. Do not insult your child to other people even when your child isn't around because that shit gets back to them

- the above two really need to be stressed because like. Children who come from those kinds of households develop hyper empathy as a survival mechanism, and then they become adults who feel physically ill whenever someone around them is upset, who flinch whenever someone is too loud with something for fear that they're angry. This is how you make adults who on the deep and instinctual level associate the negative emotions of others with danger

- try to remember that your child didn't choose to be born. This is kind of obvious when you think about it but a lot of parents seem to think their children should be thankful for "what they get", having been generously given the gift of life. Abusive parents who say this are like dudes who send you chocolate in the mail and then expect you to date them because they gave you something nice unprompted

- your child will have things that they like that will be different from the things that you like. Try to pick your battles. If it strikes you as weird but it's ultimately harmless and making your child happy then why bother worrying about it

- Toys are important to your child because they are its property. There's a pretty heartbreaking article that went around a few years back about a woman who took all her child's toys away until it stopped crying to get new toys and became "completely antimaterialistic". Don't do this to your child. Having even one thing that your child is responsible for and is the owner of is just so good for their sense of self and it helps to ground them. Remember the goal is for your child to eventually develop a sense of personhood and not just be a mindless drone subservient to you and others

- as an additional point related to the above, your child will have much more energy than you do. They need ways to healthily vent this energy. Let it run around outside, take it to the park, give it toys that it can play with in its room. Basic shit

- Certain things are very important to the well being of your child and shouldn't be withheld. Shit like medications and disability aids are obvious to most parents. But comfort animals can be just as important to your child's well being. If you're uncomfortable with your 5 y/o still sleeping with their teddy I can't imagine a reason for you to really care

- your child has a right to privacy. Once again, this is for sense of self. no 1984 shit. Do not take your child's door away. Do not set up cameras in your child's room

that's all I can think about off the top of my head. I'm kind of really involved in the child abuse survivor community so I hear quite a bit, all of the above is shit that's either happened to me or people I know

[Socketosis]

Remember to wear a condom next time.

[Revates]

- I'd instill manners in them and respect by being firm when they're misbehaving and making sure to talk it out with them. I'd make sure they know what they've done wrong and what the consequences of them misbehaving will be if they continue to do so.

- Taking an active role in their life and development can be a great thing. Making sure they do what *they* want to do, whether that be in a sports team, play music and other hobbies and knowing. I really wouldn't ever want to be a parent that lets television be the babysitter. Their education is a big factor as well, I think a lot of parents expect their kids to learn certain things at school and school expects that it's learned from home, I'd want to sit down and do their homework with them and not only that teach them things that they're not going to learn at school.

- Let them take an active role in the household and respect their personal freedoms and let those freedoms naturally change as they mature, being overbearing is only going to push them away. As has been said privacy is a good thing for a child, they need to trust me and I should trust them. If that trust is breached I'd rather go about it in different ways and use that as a last resort.

A lot of what I'm saying is really just making sure I'm part of their life and taking it hands on but I also want to make sure that I give them space to grow themselves. So I'll leave it at that. :3

[Jtrekkie]

Oh, I forgot. If you adopt don't make a big deal out of it.

[Gator]

good: feed the baby

bad: cook the baby

 

don't learn this lesson the hard way like some people who definitely aren't me.

[Lucyfish]

Don't treat the child like they're not a person, lol

[Socketosis]

8 hours ago, Another Ampers& said:

- your child has a right to privacy. Once again, this is for sense of self. no 1984 shit. Do not take your child's door away. Do not set up cameras in your child's room

Or those parents that install apps on their kid's phones to track where they're at.

[Fossa]

37 minutes ago, Socketosis said:

Or those parents that install apps on their kid's phones to track where they're at.

This is a great way to teach kids that sometimes, it's good just to turn your phone off!

[Jtrekkie]

It's never too early to teach a child that society is out to get him. Show him how to find the Man's not so subtle fingerprints, and how to avoid detection. He'll need to know how to effectively live off the grid but still be able to blend into the masses. And, if he has the inclination, train him for government service so he can fight the power from the inside. When he is older he'll thank you.

[#00Buck]

Don't expose the children to cartoons with cute animal characters in them.

That's child abuse and leads to sexual deviancy. 

[Sidewalk Surfboard]

Cook the baby at 400 degrees for 5 hours, occasionally drizzling juices over it. When skin is crisp and dark, remove from oven and serve hot.

[Mapa]

45 minutes ago, Sidewalk Surfboard said:

Cook the baby at 400 degrees for 5 hours, occasionally drizzling juices over it. When skin is crisp and dark, remove from oven and serve hot.

It's never too late to teach a child to roast.

[Kleric]

One thing that especially annoys me with parents is when they resolve to "because I said so" reasoning. Yeah I understand that the kids can get annoying to the point that you don't have the patience to explain why you mean something, but you could at the very least say just that if they have no intention to listen to any reason anyway. I feel that even if it can be blunt, honesty is the best route in most situations when dealing with kids. Don't be an example for them to justify flawed reasoning for themselves in the future, and don't mislead them for some short-term settling of things, I'm pretty sure that doesn't do well in the long run.

Learning is always a good thing, and one of the best things you could do for your kid is to teach them to think, not what to think. Give them things to think about, and if they have a question, give them your best answer, if not find them a good answer. Intrigue them to find more.

[Moogle]

11 minutes ago, Kleric said:

One thing that especially annoys me with parents is when they resolve to "because I said so" reasoning.

 

God yeah. I know someone who does this with their child, and the fights they get into are complete nonsense. It's back and forth between "because I said so" with the child asking "why" just on repeat. 

 

One of the main things that I think should be done while raising a kid is to get them outside and be interactive with others face-to-face (constantly!). As well, encourage them in any hobby they take up - be there for them while they're engaging in it too since they'll be more than happy to show off for ya. It's a good feeling for both sides.

 

 

[Vallium]

10 hours ago, #00Buck said:

Don't expose the children to cartoons with cute animal characters in them.

That's child abuse and leads to sexual deviancy. 

All of our parents have failed us miserably

[DevilBear]

I would personally suggest beatings, sleep deprivation, forced starvation, a strict regimen of physical conditioning, basic to advanced combat techniques, marksmanship, and never, ever acknowledging them as human beings.

(I may or may not have learned how to raise children by watching Universal Soldier.)

[Vitaly]

4 minutes ago, DevilBear said:

I would personally suggest beatings, sleep deprivation, forced starvation, a strict regimen of physical conditioning, basic to advanced combat techniques, marksmanship, and never, ever acknowledging them as human beings.

Slap me daddy

HARDER 

[Nova]

If you want your child to be happy PLAY football with it, i mean the child is the ball, it would enjoy it, every kid loves to be the football :V

 

 

 

 

:v

[LazerMaster5]

If I had a son and he was gay I would support him, but if he was a furry I would disown him.

[#00Buck]

14 hours ago, Sidewalk Surfboard said:

Cook the baby at 400 degrees for 5 hours, occasionally drizzling juices over it. When skin is crisp and dark, remove from oven and serve hot.

 

[Pignog]

just lol if u bring another living thing into this cruel unjust world ruled by the koch brothers

[Vallium]

4 hours ago, LazerMaster5 said:

If I had a son and he was gay I would support him, but if he was a furry I would disown him.

I would disown my child if he or she or it was a faggot, tranny, nigger, muslim, damaged, retarded, furry, brony, weeaboo, feminist, vegan, stoner, vaper, metalhead, degenerate, pervert, indian, redneck, cubs fan, crossdresser, misbehaving, unruly, stubborn, black eyed, ugly, obese fuck

I need my children pure and untainted by filth

[#00Buck]

Don't give your kids a hackey sac or a skateboard.

They will be unemployed.

[Fossa]

Don't let them play videogames.

They will be pale, obese and unemployed.

[Lopaw]

Don't have any kids until you can financially cope with all the extra costs.

Have them do a STEM subject at collage/university and make sure they have decent career choices in mind, plus one or two backup career choices. 

 

[GarthTheWereWolf]

Read to them. Often.

Teach them to read and the joy of reading from a young age. They'll benefit from it so much in the long run.

[Sidewalk Surfboard]

3 hours ago, GarthTheWereWolf said:

Read to them. Often.

Teach them to read and the joy of reading from a young age. They'll benefit from it so much in the long run.

Or just set them up in front of a PS1 at age 3. That's how I learned to read, and I ended up liking reading so I began reading newspapers and books and all sorts of things at a young age because of it.

[Endless/Nameless]

4 minutes ago, Sidewalk Surfboard said:

Or just set them up in front of a PS1 at age 3. That's how I learned to read, and I ended up liking reading so I began reading newspapers and books and all sorts of things at a young age because of it.

I used computers a lot at a very young age and became my own best teacher.

Of course this was back when a kid played cd-rom games instead of posting selfies on facebook.

It also may depend of the child's natural aptitude for...y'know, thinking.

[LazerMaster5]

On 8/6/2016 at 1:07 PM, WolfNightV4X1 said:

I would disown my child if he or she or it was a faggot, tranny, nigger, muslim, damaged, retarded, furry, brony, weeaboo, feminist, vegan, stoner, vaper, metalhead, degenerate, pervert, indian, redneck, cubs fan, crossdresser, misbehaving, unruly, stubborn, black eyed, ugly, obese fuck

I need my children pure and untainted by filth

How can one be an Indian, black, feminist AND Muslim? I wouldn't even be mad, that would be impressive.

[Sarcastic Coffeecup]

Just avoid doing what parents did with millenials and you'll be fine

[Proper noun]

Don't brag about the sibling to the other child